Finn still wasn’t used to his flares, and he certainly wasn’t used to dealing with them on his own.
Living with Fao was great, but he missed the constant availability of his parents, as much as he’d hate to admit it.
He’d been putting off giving into his flare for several days, too busy with uni to allow himself to rest. When he woke up with another migraine, he didn’t have a choice but to reconsider. That didn’t stop him from trying to ignore it, of course it didn’t. He made it to the edge of the bed, sitting up shakily. The nausea was horrendous and overwhelmed him, growing worse with each breath.
He couldn’t be sick in his room, the panic rising quickly. It was Fao’s flat, he’d tell him off, not to mention he was an adult and he shouldn’t do that.
Finn let out a quiet whine, torn between crying out for Fao and just letting it all overwhelm him and giving in. After fighting with himself for a few minutes, he gave in, calling for Fao.
No response.
His phone wasn’t in his bed either, so he couldn’t call him, or his parents, or Jess. He was stranded.
The dizziness overwhelmed him as he stood, immediately stumbling into the wall. He kept muttering to himself, trying to encourage his body to work, to let him get to Fao.
His feet felt like ice, numb and barely under his control. It was spreading too, he was sure of it.
Electric shocks jarred his brain with every step, the pain making the dizziness worse. He stumbled, falling to his knees with a cry. With his arms outstretched, he caught his wrists as he fell, instinctively pulling them to his chest and overbalancing. He tipped, shoulder slamming into the wall and then the floor.
He couldn’t get back up, his body no longer under control. His vision was starting to go too, a seizure definitely looming. Slurred and barely there, he cried out, desperately calling for his brother. He needed help, needed anyone.
Nobody came, and he curled up, helpless and alone, stranded on the landing.
Finn had decided to ride out with Fao, much to both his parents and guards’ upset. He didn’t understand why there was such an issue - the kingdom faced a threat and he should have been there to face it. Just because he was the prince, it didn’t mean that his life was any more important.
They’d travelled a day or so on horseback before the terrain became too unsteady and the weather too poor to carry on. They’d done the best they could to find shelter, and then to make a fire.
Fao was much more willing to start one than he’d normally be, which only increased Finn’s suspicions that he’d directed them further away from where he’d intended to go. His lack of reluctance, however, was not unwelcome; the cold had seeped into Finn’s bones and he couldn’t shake it.
Fao crouched on the cold floor, trying to breathe some life into a little fire. He struggled a little, everything soaked, and swore under his breath as he did.
“Finn? Can you see to the horses? Make sure they’ve got water.”
“There’s plenty around them.” Finn groaned. “We’re almost drowning in it.”
“They can’t drink the rain.”
“What do you think I’m going to get them?”
“You know what I mean. They can’t drink from the fucking sky, can they?”
“They should be able to.” Finn huffed, standing to sort them. “Would make it easier.”
“Can you drink from the sky?”
“Yes.”
Fao rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d say that.”
“Can’t you?”
“Well, yes, but that’s not the point.”
“It’s precisely my point.”
“Just water the horses!”
“You’re extremely grumpy today.”
“I’m always grumpy.”
“Moreso today.” He told him, settling down by the struggling fire. “Can’t you hurry? I’m freezing.”
Finn ignored the following complaint from Fao, choosing instead to sort his pack out. The food they’d caught earlier made his stomach turn and he hastily put it away. One night wouldn’t be the end of the world. Instead, he curled up by Fao, using the other man’s body for warmth.
Fao frowned, and softened as Finn pressed up to his side. He adjusted his cloak to sit over his shoulders and keep him a little warmer.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m just tired, I can’t get warm.” He admitted quietly.
“The fire will be warm soon. It just needed a little patience.” He said gently.
“I’m still cold.”
Fao shrugged off his cloak and fully draped it over Finn. “Here.”
Normally, Finn would have protested, but instead, he took it gratefully. “Thank you.”
“We can’t have you getting cold.”
“Why do you always sound like such a dick when you say things like that?”
“I was being genuine!”
“Still sounds like a dick.” He said. “I knew you weren’t. I’m just used to you taking the piss out of me.”
“I’m capable of being nice.”
“Sure you are.”
The fire was starting to grow now, finally taking hold. It warmed Fao, so hopefully would warm Finn too.
“It happens on occasion.”
He hummed. “I guess. Are you okay to take watch?”
“Yeah, go on. Get some rest.”
Finn shuffled closer. “Thank you.”
“Anything else you need?”
He shook his head, already drifting. He just needed some sleep, he’d feel better once he was warm and rested.
“Sleep well.” Fao murmured, shifting his weight a little to sit better - it was going to be a long night.
Finn slept fitfully, finally stirring just before dawn broke. Despite the fire still burning, he was cold. The pain in his head was crushing, and nausea curled in his stomach. He knew it wasn’t anything he’d eaten; he’d skipped the evening’s meal. Fao had moved from where Finn had curled on him, now sat opposite from Finn as he tended the fire. Finn struggled to his feet, he needed to relieve himself and lying down wasn’t doing him any good. He balanced himself against the trees surrounding him, heading away from their camp for privacy.
“Morning! You’re up early.” Fao called, carefully watching Finn as he headed out of the camp.
Finn grunted in response, too asleep to bother with an actual reply. After a few minutes, he headed back, stumbling towards Fao.
Fao didn’t miss the way the Prince stumbled. “Careful. Are you alright?”
“I don’t feel so good.” He admitted quietly.
“Sit. You’ve not eaten in too long, it’s probably that.”
His stomach twisted at the thought of food. “I’m not eating.”
“You ought to eat.”
Finn sat heavily, leaning against Fao. “No.”
“You need your strength. What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “I must just be tired.”
“You don’t look particularly well.”
“I don’t feel particularly well. I told you that.”
Fao sat up straighter. “Talk to me?”
“About what?”
“How you feel. Dizzy?”
He shook his head. “Off balance.”
“Is that not the same thing?”
“Of course not.”
“Sick?”
“I haven’t been.”
“Feel it?”
He hesitated before nodding slightly. “Yes.”
Fao rubbed his arm, in a gesture he hoped was soothing. “I suppose that’s why you don’t want to eat.”
He leaned closer instinctively. “It is.”
“I’ve got you.”
“How far away are we from home?”
“Far enough.”
“We weren’t following the trail, were we?”
“No. We had to go off and out deeper.”
“You were just keeping me away from the fight. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”
“I have a duty to protect you, Finn.”
“And I have a duty to this kingdom!”
“And that duty requires you to stay alive.”
Finn groaned as he stood, swaying slightly. “My duty requires me to protect it!”
“If you go and get yourself killed, you’ll be no use to anyone. The best way to protect the kingdom is to keep yourself safe.” Fao said, standing up alongside Finn. “Careful. Sit back down, come on. You’ve gone pale.”
He pulled away. “No.”
“Finn, come on.” Fao said, reaching out for him. “You’re no good to anyone if you’re passed out.”
“Don’t touch me.” He snapped. “I’m getting Toren and going.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Finn.” Fao snapped.
He rolled his eyes. He didn’t need to follow Fao’s orders, he needed to be away from him.
“Finn!”
Finn made it halfway before he had to stop, bracing himself against a tree. He clasped??? his head with a quiet whimper, falling against the bark. He felt as if he’d been poisoned, and the only person around him had been Fao.
Fao rushed over to him, an arm on his shoulder. “Finn, come on. Let’s sit down again.”
He didn’t have much of a choice, his legs already given way beneath him. “Was your fault.”
Finn was heavy in his arms, and Fao groaned. “Careful, careful.” He said quietly. “I’ve got you.”
“You’ve poisoned me.”
“I’ve not, you’re alright.”
Finn shivered, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. “I’m not.”
Fao reached out for his pack, pulling it closer and digging around for the vials of liquid he kept. Finn often got like this, ever since an accident as a young child. “I’m gonna look after you. Take some deep breaths for me?”
“You’re doing it again.” He tried to pull away.
“I’ve always protected you in the past.” He said gently. “Do you trust me?”
It was harder to focus. “No.”
“It’s alright, Finn. I’m going to help you.”
“Please.”
“You need to drink this, Finn.” Fao said gently, fingers closing on the cool glass. “It’ll make you feel better.”
“It’s poison.” He reached a shaky hand to push it away.
“I promise it’s not.”
“You drink it.”
“It’s for you. Your medicine.”
“No.”
“From the physician. To help you feel better.”
“Swear?”
“Swear on my life.”
Finn took it from Fao, quickly downing the liquid. It was foul, as most of the cocktails were, but Fao had told him it would help. Despite his confusion and paranoia, he knew that Fao wouldn’t really hurt him. He’d always protected him.
“That’s it. It’ll make you feel better, hmm?”
“It better.” He murmured.
“It will. I’ve got you.” Fao said, an arm around the younger man. “I’m here to keep you safe. I’m always going to keep you safe.”
Returning home after his injury was odd. Easter things were still strewn around the house, Easter eggs still waiting to be eaten, but he had no memory of any of it. Everyone treated him like he was going to break, and half the time, he believed them. His whole world had turned upside down in a matter of moments, and he no longer knew where he stood.
Though they tried to keep it as normal as possible, it couldn’t have felt further from it. They’d all become used to being in hospital with Finn, used to all the busy of the ward and rehab. There were no longer strict mealtimes, observations every few hours, or the nurses popping in for a chat. The only normal thing was his bedtime.
After a day being home, Finn was all too glad to go to bed. He changed into his pyjamas and brushed his teeth before clambering into bed. Fao, of course, read him a bedtime story, staying until Finn fell asleep.
When Finn woke again, it was dark. He stretched out slowly, finding Lion under the covers and pulling him closer. He tried falling back asleep by himself, but he just couldn’t drift off. Things felt wrong and he couldn’t settle. It was easy to make up his mind, grabbing his blanket and lion before padding into Fao’s room.
“Fao?” He whispered into the darkness. “Fao?”
Fao stirred, lifting his head in the darkness of the room before he reached out to flick the light on. “Finn? You okay?”
He squinted at the light, scrubbing at his eyes as he made his way to Fao’s bed. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Oh, come snug then.” Fao said, moving over and pulling the duvet back.
Finn clambered into bed, wriggling to find the right spot. He tucked himself against Fao’s chest and sighed happily. “Night.”
“Night, Finn. Sweet dreams.”
His dreams were the opposite, nightmares mixed with reality and twisted into something worse. He woke with a panicked cry, trying to push himself away from the nurses holding him down again. When they didn’t immediately let go, he screamed.
Finn woke Fao long before he woke up. His brother wriggled in his sleep, digging his elbow into Fao’s ribs. He kicked out, getting Fao in the shin as well. Despite his attempts to wake him up, Finn was truly fast asleep until he startled awake and tried to push Fao away. He wasn’t exactly strong, and so when Fao didn’t move, he screamed.
“Hey, hey. Finn. It’s me, it’s Fao. You’re safe.”
Between the panic and (word?), Finn couldn’t hear him. He kept fighting, struggling with the duvet and the hands forcing him into the bed. His hands curled into fists as he tried desperately to get away.
Fao sat up. “Finn? It’s me, it’s Fao.” He said slowly.
Finn had finally escaped from the duvet and he backed up against the wall. His chest heaved as he tried to figure out where he was. It was too quiet for the hospital, but he could hear Fao in the dark. His nails dug into his legs as he tried to catch his breath.
“You’re alright.” Fao soothed. “You’re safe, you’re at home.”
The light flicked on. “Boys? What’s wrong?”
Fao looked up, the big lights making him squint. “Nightmare, I think.”
Finn dived for Fao, burying into his brother’s side. He gripped onto him tightly, fingers digging into his skin.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
“Do you need anything?” She asked quietly.
“Maybe some water?” Fao asked softly.
She nodded and quietly slipped away. Finn had chosen Fao for comfort, she might as well help how she could.
Finn struggled to catch his breath, pressing closer to Fao. Tears streamed down his face and he whimpered softly.
“I’m here, you’re okay. Take a deep breath, yeah? Copy me.”
He shook his head, he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t doing well at all.
“It’s okay. You’re safe now, just me and you.”
He pressed closer, curling further into Fao’s side. Fao was a comfort, he always had been. He was always there for him, had always protected him and stood up for what he needed, especially when he couldn’t do so himself.
“I’ve got you. Mum’s gone to get some water, you’re doing so well. Focus on trying to slow those breaths a bit. Well done.”
Slowly, he began to calm his breathing, focusing on Fao and copying him. Sheila returned with a glass of water for each of them and silently placed it on the bedside table beside them. She shot Fao a look, but didn’t dare to disturb them. As she left, she flicked the lights off, quietly pulling the door to.
Fao flashed his mum a smile, grateful for the water and the quiet. “Well done Finn, that’s it. Shall we have some water, hmm? Gotta be thirsty from all that crying.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Just stay here then, hmm?”
“Yeah.”
“Want to try and sleep?”
“Not tired.”
“Shall we at least get comfy?”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“No point not being comfy. Have you got Lion?”
“He’s here somewhere.”
“Shall we find him?”
“‘Kay.”
Fao moved to push the duvet back, looking for the stuffed animal. He was easy enough to find, thankfully, and Fao handed him to his brother. “Here.”
“Thank you.” Finn said quietly.
“It’s okay. You cuddle up to Lion, yeah?”
“And you.”
“And me.”
“Tell me a story?”
“What sort of story?”
“A good one.”
“A good one, eh?”
He nodded. “Please.”
“Alright. A good story…” Fao moved under the duvet a little, getting comfortable before he started to talk. He kept his voice low, in order to try and get Finn to feel sleepy again.
I’d like to pass on some cool information about proofreading. Credit to author and screenwriter, Martin Johnson and the site Almost an Author.
Martin Johnson survived a severe car accident with a (T.B.I.) Truamatic brain injury which left him legally blind and partially paralyzed on the left side. He is an award-winning Christian screenwriter who has…
