Day 4: Trust Fall

Summary: Eleven wakes up from a bad dream and finds someone sitting at his side.

Word count:952

Eleven is falling.

He’s falling freely through space, cutting through the darkness blanketing him from every side, every angle, as he stretches his arms and breathes.

When will he hit the ground? He doesn’t know. He sinks deeper into the jaws of sticky, clammy black, dissolving into it, closing his eyes, his skin tingling…

Like the snap of a finger, Eleven jolts up in bed and clutches his pulsing head. His fingers slip into his short hair and he sighs.

“Hey,” Erik’s voice mutters.

Eleven turns and there is Erik, sitting with his fingers folded in his lap, smiling slightly. Sadly.

“Hi,” Eleven says.

“Having trouble sleeping?” Erik asks.

“Mmhmm,” Eleven hums as his fingers dig into his eye sockets and rub the sleep from his closed eyes.

Erik doesn’t say anything. Eleven keeps his eyes shut, even after he’s finished rubbing them, shifting to a sitting position. His fingers flatten against his temple and he stares into his lap.

He can’t remember the last time he’s had a solid night’s rest. Maybe there was a night or two in the Last Bastion, in a place that no longer exists. But he can’t count even one night since then.

Realizing that Erik is watching him sleep comforts Eleven. Like he should have kept sleeping knowing there was someone else there to protect him, someone Eleven can trust.Someone who can lift the profuse weight off his shoulders.

This weight… Eleven sniffs. It’s unreal how unexpectedly relieving it is to not be carrying it alone anymore.

Before, when they’d been traveling, they’d take shifts staying awake throughout the night. Two people were always up, sitting by the fire. Eleven had spent a lot of time with Erik that way — with Erik having his back, the duo facing off against the night together.

Just like then, Erik leans forward and taps El on the forearm.

“You feeling alright?” Erik asks.

“No.”

Eleven feels the sting of his nose and clears his throat. Still not used to this whole “feeling emotions” thing, Eleven finds it embarrassing when he starts to cry. Hot, wet tears roll down his cheeks and he covers his face, curling into himself.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Erik’s voice breaks through Eleven’s thornbush of emotions, and Eleven turns to him, dropping his head into Erik’s lap.

Erik touches the top of Eleven’s head, pushing him deeper into his panicked cries, which shake his body.

It’s Eleven’s nature to be quiet, but that’s not so easy when he’s pouring his soul out, which stains the front of Erik’s tunic. By the time Eleven pulls away, he’s collected himself a little more, nudging Erik’s hands away.

“El, is everything okay?” Erik whispers.

Erik places a hand on Eleven’s knee and Eleven jerks away. Don’t call me that. Don’t touch me like that.

“Could you please not touch me? I just… I-I don’t feel very well.”

“Alright.”

Eleven slowly breathes in and out, dropping his shoulders and closing his eyes as Erik retracts his hands. Eleven’s heart races, everything on high alert as if expecting an ambush despite it being the middle of a peaceful night.

“You okay? You need anything?” Erik asks. He’s so close, yet so far away, with a rift of experiences between them.

El shakes his head. “No, I’ll be alright. I just… it’s been really difficult adjusting to not being in almost literal hell.”

“Mmhm.”

“The only time anyone ever touched me was to hurt me. Even you, when you saw me, drew your knife.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Eleven says. “It’s just… how can I ever reasonably expect to be treated with kindness again? I can’t. Kindness is much more fleeting than the scars on my body. I can’t forgetwhere those came from when…”

A tear slides down Eleven’s cheek and he clears his throat, but it feels like he’s choking, choking on the noxious thoughts that had settled over him ever since that first day back in time. It feels like a part of him had been broken, a part he is incapable of repairing because that would mean taking the whole person apart and starting over again.

“No one’s expecting you to forget, but I hope you can forgive us. Or at least me,” Erik says, the hint of a smirk returning.

Eleven lightly snorts. “Yeah, I’m— I’ll try.”

“You’re not there yet, huh?” Erik asks.

“It’s not for want of trying.”

“I’m sure you’ll get there.”

“Mm.”

“Well,” Erik starts, heaving a sigh, as he stands from his char. “I didn’t mean to creep on you while you slept. I’ll get out of your hair now.”

“Please stay,” Eleven says. He presses his hand behind his own neck, calming his nerves. “I can’t sleep otherwise.”

“You trust me that much?” Erik asks.

Eleven nods.

“Wow, uh…” Erik rubs the back of his head. “I guess I’m just a little surprised. After everything you’ve gone through, I assumed you wouldn’t.”

Eleven didn’t trust the other Erik at all. But this one? This was the one Eleven had gone back in time a second time for, possibly subjecting himself to once again being torn apart atom by atom. This was the Erik whom Eleven had been waiting to hug as soon as they’d reunited again.

“I trust you more than anything,” Eleven says. “So please.”

He leans over and pats the recently vacated seat for emphasis. Erik smiles and drops into it again.

“Alright, pal. I’ll be right here, so you go on and rest,” Erik says.

Eleven slides down into bed, resting his head on his pillow. He curls a hand under his cheek and smiles.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Erik responds.

No. 4 - TRUST FALL

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“Do you trust me?” | taken hostage | pushed

Finn had decided to ride out with Fao, much to both his parents and guards’ upset. He didn’t understand why there was such an issue - the kingdom faced a threat and he should have been there to face it. Just because he was the prince, it didn’t mean that his life was any more important.

They’d travelled a day or so on horseback before the terrain became too unsteady and the weather too poor to carry on. They’d done the best they could to find shelter, and then to make a fire.

Fao was much more willing to start one than he’d normally be, which only increased Finn’s suspicions that he’d directed them further away from where he’d intended to go. His lack of reluctance, however, was not unwelcome; the cold had seeped into Finn’s bones and he couldn’t shake it.

Fao crouched on the cold floor, trying to breathe some life into a little fire. He struggled a little, everything soaked, and swore under his breath as he did.

“Finn? Can you see to the horses? Make sure they’ve got water.”

“There’s plenty around them.” Finn groaned. “We’re almost drowning in it.”

“They can’t drink the rain.”

“What do you think I’m going to get them?”

“You know what I mean. They can’t drink from the fucking sky, can they?”

“They should be able to.” Finn huffed, standing to sort them. “Would make it easier.”

“Can you drink from the sky?”

“Yes.”

Fao rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d say that.”

“Can’t you?”

“Well, yes, but that’s not the point.”

“It’s precisely my point.”

“Just water the horses!”

“You’re extremely grumpy today.”

“I’m always grumpy.”

“Moreso today.” He told him, settling down by the struggling fire. “Can’t you hurry? I’m freezing.”

Finn ignored the following complaint from Fao, choosing instead to sort his pack out. The food they’d caught earlier made his stomach turn and he hastily put it away. One night wouldn’t be the end of the world. Instead, he curled up by Fao, using the other man’s body for warmth.

Fao frowned, and softened as Finn pressed up to his side. He adjusted his cloak to sit over his shoulders and keep him a little warmer.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m just tired, I can’t get warm.” He admitted quietly.

“The fire will be warm soon. It just needed a little patience.” He said gently.

“I’m still cold.”

Fao shrugged off his cloak and fully draped it over Finn. “Here.”

Normally, Finn would have protested, but instead, he took it gratefully. “Thank you.”

“We can’t have you getting cold.”

“Why do you always sound like such a dick when you say things like that?”

“I was being genuine!”

“Still sounds like a dick.” He said. “I knew you weren’t. I’m just used to you taking the piss out of me.”

“I’m capable of being nice.”

“Sure you are.”

The fire was starting to grow now, finally taking hold. It warmed Fao, so hopefully would warm Finn too.

“It happens on occasion.”

He hummed. “I guess. Are you okay to take watch?”

“Yeah, go on. Get some rest.”

Finn shuffled closer. “Thank you.”

“Anything else you need?”

He shook his head, already drifting. He just needed some sleep, he’d feel better once he was warm and rested.

“Sleep well.” Fao murmured, shifting his weight a little to sit better - it was going to be a long night.

Finn slept fitfully, finally stirring just before dawn broke. Despite the fire still burning, he was cold. The pain in his head was crushing, and nausea curled in his stomach. He knew it wasn’t anything he’d eaten; he’d skipped the evening’s meal. Fao had moved from where Finn had curled on him, now sat opposite from Finn as he tended the fire. Finn struggled to his feet, he needed to relieve himself and lying down wasn’t doing him any good. He balanced himself against the trees surrounding him, heading away from their camp for privacy.

“Morning! You’re up early.” Fao called, carefully watching Finn as he headed out of the camp.

Finn grunted in response, too asleep to bother with an actual reply. After a few minutes, he headed back, stumbling towards Fao.

Fao didn’t miss the way the Prince stumbled. “Careful. Are you alright?”

“I don’t feel so good.” He admitted quietly.

“Sit. You’ve not eaten in too long, it’s probably that.”

His stomach twisted at the thought of food. “I’m not eating.”

“You ought to eat.”

Finn sat heavily, leaning against Fao. “No.”

“You need your strength. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “I must just be tired.”

“You don’t look particularly well.”

“I don’t feel particularly well. I told you that.”

Fao sat up straighter. “Talk to me?”

“About what?”

“How you feel. Dizzy?”

He shook his head. “Off balance.”

“Is that not the same thing?”

“Of course not.”

“Sick?”

“I haven’t been.”

“Feel it?”

He hesitated before nodding slightly. “Yes.”

Fao rubbed his arm, in a gesture he hoped was soothing. “I suppose that’s why you don’t want to eat.”

He leaned closer instinctively. “It is.”

“I’ve got you.”

“How far away are we from home?”

“Far enough.”

“We weren’t following the trail, were we?”

“No. We had to go off and out deeper.”

“You were just keeping me away from the fight. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

“I have a duty to protect you, Finn.”

“And I have a duty to this kingdom!”

“And that duty requires you to stay alive.”

Finn groaned as he stood, swaying slightly. “My duty requires me to protect it!”

“If you go and get yourself killed, you’ll be no use to anyone. The best way to protect the kingdom is to keep yourself safe.” Fao said, standing up alongside Finn. “Careful. Sit back down, come on. You’ve gone pale.”

He pulled away. “No.”

“Finn, come on.” Fao said, reaching out for him. “You’re no good to anyone if you’re passed out.”

“Don’t touch me.” He snapped. “I’m getting Toren and going.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Finn.” Fao snapped.

He rolled his eyes. He didn’t need to follow Fao’s orders, he needed to be away from him.

“Finn!”

Finn made it halfway before he had to stop, bracing himself against a tree. He clasped??? his head with a quiet whimper, falling against the bark. He felt as if he’d been poisoned, and the only person around him had been Fao.

Fao rushed over to him, an arm on his shoulder. “Finn, come on. Let’s sit down again.”

He didn’t have much of a choice, his legs already given way beneath him. “Was your fault.”

Finn was heavy in his arms, and Fao groaned. “Careful, careful.” He said quietly. “I’ve got you.”

“You’ve poisoned me.”

“I’ve not, you’re alright.”

Finn shivered, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. “I’m not.”

Fao reached out for his pack, pulling it closer and digging around for the vials of liquid he kept. Finn often got like this, ever since an accident as a young child. “I’m gonna look after you. Take some deep breaths for me?”

“You’re doing it again.” He tried to pull away.

“I’ve always protected you in the past.” He said gently. “Do you trust me?”

It was harder to focus. “No.”

“It’s alright, Finn. I’m going to help you.”

“Please.”

“You need to drink this, Finn.” Fao said gently, fingers closing on the cool glass. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“It’s poison.” He reached a shaky hand to push it away.

“I promise it’s not.”

“You drink it.”

“It’s for you. Your medicine.”

“No.”

“From the physician. To help you feel better.”

“Swear?”

“Swear on my life.”

Finn took it from Fao, quickly downing the liquid. It was foul, as most of the cocktails were, but Fao had told him it would help. Despite his confusion and paranoia, he knew that Fao wouldn’t really hurt him. He’d always protected him.

“That’s it. It’ll make you feel better, hmm?”

“It better.” He murmured.

“It will. I’ve got you.” Fao said, an arm around the younger man. “I’m here to keep you safe. I’m always going to keep you safe.”