#travel alone
It’s funny, I have read so may articles about what it’s like to live abroad. And almost all of them mention making friends with other foreigners. But what if you are the ONLY foreigner? And you can only speak the same language as a handful of people. And everything you see is in a language you don’t understand. I doubt many people will ever be in this situation but it happens to be the situation I’m in.
For those that don’t know me, I am an only child and an extreme extrovert. I remember times when I was little and I would call all of my friends to hang out and no one could play and I would have a mild panic attack thinking about how I had to be alone for the day. And my mom would be like, Lucy chill!!!……It’s funny, you would think as an only child I would be good at being alone but actually I was just good at finding people to be friends with. It really wasn’t until college that I could really be at peace with being alone for a day or more. So, China was a huge step, and I knew it would be.
Now, Im not trying to have anyone feel bad for me, I have made friends. I play volleyball with a group of people twice a week, I have lunch with a group of teachers 4 days a week but about 95% of my dinners are alone. Dinners were always important to my family. We always ate together, and we always talked about our day… So that’s why at dinner… I feel the most alone.
But being alone to the extreme… has really given me the opportunity to grow, more than I think anything else could. I have now found out how to be content alone. Notice I didn’t say happy, I am and will always be an extrovert and being around others brings me the most joy but as the extrovert I am, I have now found a way to be content alone…. Which is HUGE for me.
So for you extreme extroverts out there, it is possible to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face while feeling alone. Interactions with people are what bring me the most joy. So when that was lacking I just had to find new things to bring me happiness, like exercising, listening to music, and just enjoying the sunshine. Hegang has been a great challenge and I feel very lucky that I was given the opportunity to face it and learn how to make myself happy in different ways that don’t involve other people.
tbh the real advice I’d give to anyone is, do shit alone. go to a museum & go at your own pace & leave the instant you’re done. go somewhere you’ve never been and just wander around, duck into & out of places as it pleases you. linger as long as you’d like.
Not a day goes by that I’m not asked by a total stranger if I’m single and why am I traveling by myself. These questions come only from Filipinos (or Vietnamese) and everybody from taxi drivers to security guards at the airport feel entitled to ask me.
It usually goes kinda like this:
“Are you alone?”
You mean, if I’m traveling by myself? Yes I am
“Why?”
My friends are too poor/busy to go with me
I prefer to travel by myself
It’s too far from home
This trip is too long
“But where is your husband?”
I’m single (I quickly learned not to use this answer, single men get too excited)
It’s a private question
Why do you ask?
“Because you’re beautiful”
… Thanks
OR
My husband is at the hotel
My husband is tired today
My husband is working
My husband doesn’t like to travel
My husband is back home with our 5 children
(That usually shuts them up)
And it’s not just me. Every single female traveler gets asked that, by men and women. People here are honestly not used to single ladies traveling on their own. Or single ladies in their twenties that are not already married and accompanied everywhere by their husband.
There’s also a common belief here in Asia that single foreign female travelers are all slurs and are here to sleep around. I do not understand how the locals came up with this but it is what it is. That’s why next time I travel (especially to India) I’m wearing a fake wedding ring ;-)
