#umbrellas
umbrellas I see around town, rated
Bottom Tier:Plain Black Umbrellas.
wow nice it’s a depressing day already let’s make it more depressing
Broken Umbrellas
YOU HAD ONE JOB, UMBRELLA. and if it’s a broken black umbrella you might as well just let yourself get wet without a sad, broken clump of gloom in the way
Mediocre Tier:Promotional Umbrellas
listen the least capitalism can do for us is help us stay dry. you got that umbrella for free and I admire that
Basic Colours and Patterns
see that lady with the red umbrella? of course you do because she’s not one of those losers with black umbrellas. that guy on the right has put his black umbrella down, defeated, that he cannot even be as cool as her, which is an extremely low bar
High Tier:Golf Umbrellas
now we’re talking dual purpose: keeps you dry, and improvised weapon. you could seriously put somebody’s eye out
Clear Umbrellas
at last I can see the top of your head. top of your head, my beloved.
Those Umbrellas That Got the Pattern on the Inside
you acknowledge that rainy days are gloomy, but you need to prioritize putting brightening colours and designs towards yourself. that’s okay queen that’s self-care
Top TierFunky Umbrellas That Match Your Boots, Also You Should Deliberately Walk Through Every Puddle
I love you, I love rain, I love everything