#vivid vega

LIVE

At thirteen I met him online through Myspace

I know that to meet someone there isn’t the ideal place

Because people want to interact and see each other face to face

But I was in no rush to fall in love as if it were a race

So we met in person and instantly we became best friends

He was always the guy that would reach out for me until the earths ends

We met at thirteen years old and I know that’s too young

But happiness and laughter is what was brung

At fourteen we fell in love but we pushed that feeling away

At fourteen he brought me the nicest words to say

At fourteen he brought me a rose

And at fourteen I wrote him a love letter of prose

At fourteen he asked me to be his girlfriend

And I accepted because of all the nice things said

We talked on the phone like a couple should

And I told him my sorrows because I know he understood

To bring me happiness I know he could

And to always be there for me I know he would

But we decided we would be better off as friends

But deep down inside we knew our love would never end

At fifteen we were still best friends but we weren’t going out

Because that’s not what our relationship was about

Outside we had this platonic love for one another

But deep down inside we knew we were in love with each other

At fifteen I started seeing someone else

But being with him wasn’t the type of happiness I should’ve felt

Every time we’d try seeing someone else it didn’t feel right

So to each other we held on even more tight

At fifteen he gave me advice

At fifteen he tried to protect me from the world’s lies

He healed the wounds others brought

At fifteen I realized this was the type of love people sought

At fifteen I knew he was unique

And I realized there was no one else to seek

At sixteen he told me he was still in love with me throughout the years

And that losing me would be his biggest fear

We’d see other people but we knew we belonged together

But we didn’t stay because we were too young to be in a relationship that would last forever

At sixteen when he got his license he drove to see me and brought me a smile

And all I wanted was for that moment to last for awhile

At sixteen I’ve went through a lot of troubles in life

Be he looked passed them and said he’d think I’d make a great wife

I remember once he got me out of a bad situation

And he said he still loved me without hesitation

I told him I could never love anyone the way I do for him

Because his love is stuck in my heart to my limbs

At sixteen when I thought I was pregnant from a man who forced me

David said he’d claim the child as his and marry me

Pregnant is not what I turned out to be

He told me if I had been he would’ve continued loving me

At seventeen we never had sex and we never once kissed

But that doesn’t mean our feelings were dissed

Because our love was strong enough to not need intimacy

But at seventeen the world decided to take him away from me

Because at thirteen we fell in love but in the end he couldn’t stay

Because at seventeen my first love passed away

At seventeen I went to his funeral and I cried

At seventeen I had this feeling of emptiness that can’t be described

At seventeen I realized that the world had lied

At seventeen the roses have died

At eighteen the smile he brought faded into my deepest abyss

At eighteen I had my first kiss

At eighteen all I felt for others was emptiness

At eighteen I didn’t want to exist  

I’d call his cellphone just to pretend he was still alive

And every day happiness and laughter didn’t arrive

At nineteen the clouds started to fade

At nineteen sadness and joy made a trade

At nineteen even poetry couldn’t take away the pain

At nineteen a new love I have gained

At twenty I realized I could never rip away my love for you

Because ripping it away would be like ripping away the sky from blue

At twenty I realized that I had to move on in life

At twenty I realized one day I would be someone else’s wife

At twenty one I finally decided for the first time to visit his grave

At twenty one I realized our love couldn’t be saved

But he was enrooted into my veins

At twenty one the sky stopped the rain

At twenty one I picked up a pencil and I wrote you a letter of prose

At twenty one I wondered why you were the one life chose

At twenty one a poem for you to your grave I would bring

At twenty one the roses finally started to blossom that spring

At twenty two I’m still editing this poem

And at this very moment I’ve never felt so alone

Every day I miss you and wish your life I could save

Because at twenty two you buried my heart along with you in your grave

This has been the worst year that could be

I wish you were here to save me…

I’m twenty three now and can’t finish this poem for years

I guess it can’t be finished from the denial of you not being here

I haven’t visited your grave ever again

But I can never get you out of my head

It’s been six years since you passed away

It’s been ten years since I began to love you everyday

I bet you’d be proud of who I’ve become

Thank you for teaching me you were always the one

At twenty three I’m writing to you to ask for my heart

Since you buried it with you in your grave when life ripped us apart

I don’t ask for it back to fall in love with someone else

I just need my heart back so I can love myself

I will continue to edit this poem throughout the years

I will always continue to write because of you my dear

I’m 24 now and I tried going on dates this year, I really tried

But I think sparks for me have died

My love for you only grows more inside

At 24, I said I moved on, but I lied

Because I’m 24 now, but I still can’t get you out of my head

I am dying along with you from this pain of dread

I wish there was something I could have said

So I could have saved you instead

I’m sorry that I cannot visit your grave

I wish you were the one that could’ve been saved

I’m sorry for not texting you back the day you went into the light

But now I suffer here alone haunted by the thoughts of that night

I’m 25 now and have lost my desire for poetry

Why did the world take you away from me?

I have never more wanted to be by your side

I am in so much pain from the world’s lies

I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye

So I could again look into your eyes

I’m 26 and this is the absolute worst year

I have been dating someone I thought was sincere

But he absolutely destroyed me and buried me into a grave

If you were here you’d be the only one with that I’d feel safe

You are my only reason I continue to write

You and I are soulmates even if you’re not in my sight

I’m 27 now and things just keep getting worse into a despair

My life has become a twisted nightmare

Do you remember when you said you’d take care of me forever?

I wish forever was here so we could already be together

I’m 28 now and I am counting down the years

Hopefully they go by quickly so I can finally disappear

There is nothing left for me here

This life is filled with things so insincere

I just want to be a firework that fades into the sky

So to you I’ll never have to say goodbye

I stay up late wondering when we will reunite

These thoughts happen every night

I try and fight them away

But they take me to that very day

When I didn’t reply, if only I knew

That it would be the last I would ever hear from you

I had thought one day I’d be someone’s wife

But that type of destiny was not designed for my life

I have been hurt by this world too many times

All it’s given me is the power to write rhymes

I am now too traumatized to even hold someone’s hand

You are the only one who could understand

It’s been 15 years that I have been continuing this poem

I hope I can see you soon, you are my true home.

 @vividvega

I am creating a poetry book based on my follower’s usernames. If you’d like to be in the book, please comment anything below and reblog this so I can find more usernames too :) 

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FollowVivid Vega for daily poetry

FollowVivid Vega for daily poetry

Follow@vividvega for daily poetry

Follow@vividvega for daily poetry

Back when Kobe was a puppy

If you’d like me to digitize your pet, send me a message. Every image takes me an hour or two. In exchange I ask for a donation of any amount

If you’d like me to digitize your pet, send me a message. Every image takes me an hour or two. In exchange I ask for a donation of any amount

If you’d like me to digitize your pet, send me a message. Every image takes me an hour. In exchange I ask for a donation of any amount

If you’d like me to digitize your pet, send me a message

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