#volition

Sun, 10 Apr 2022 13:55:55

volition

previous chapters - XV (ao3)

The hours crawl, and there are no more songs to hum, but the haze in her head refuses to dissipate. She can’t wait it out, can’t sleep it away. The afterglow doesn’t last, the slowdown barely comforting, the whirlwind romance— like sand slipping through her fingers.

Her departure is as silent as it is swift. She takes what she can hold, including all her dirty clothes, and stuffs everything in a rolled up grocery tote she keeps in her work bag. The thought of tidying up doesn’t occur to her; she’s not that cruel, even if she recognizes the consequences when he wakes up in the morning. Gazing sadly at Kogami’s sleeping form, Akane leaves the door ajar, afraid to wake him, and, to a certain extent, herself.

***

It’s almost five in the morning, and the streets stretch wide and empty beneath her feet. It never occurs to her to go back to her apartment, not when she can’t remember when she stopped considering it as her home. Somewhere along the way she must have stopped crying, and only her muscle memory is keeping her moving. As the sun starts to break through the clouds, she finds herself standing in front of a familiar place.

Yayoi opens the door, dumbfounded and sleepy at first.

“Tsunemori! Are you okay?”

The sight of a friendly face has her tearing up again, and Yayoi doesn’t hesitate, pulling her in a warm embrace as she ushers her inside.

“What’s wrong?” She takes her to the living room and sits her down the couch, taking the bags off her hands.

“C-Can I stay here for a bit?” Akane realizes she’s trembling, cold from the air outside.

“Yes, of course! Shion!”

Shion appears from the bedroom, rushing when she realizes who their visitor is.

“Akane-chan!”

Yayoi stands to give room for Shion, heading to the kitchen to make some tea.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” Shion asks, embracing her tightly before holding her face in her hands, anger flashing in her eyes. “Who made you cry?”

Shion pats her cheeks dry with the back of her hand. It smells of her favorite rose hand cream, with a hint of tobacco. Not very often that she feels helpless like now, but of the few people who have seen her cry, Shion is the one she’s come to rely on the most.

“I did, actually.”

Shion’s gaze softens, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Well. I’d like to hear it but only after you’ve gotten a bit of sleep because my dear, I love you but you look like a trainwreck. How about you take a warm shower first, then a nap?”

She breaks into a smile, hugging her tight.

“Thank you. That would be nice.”

***

Kogami paces back and forth in the living room, ready to step out in case he needs to pick her up somewhere. A far cry from when he woke up, wanting to tease and congratulate Akane for finally getting out of bed before him, for once.

I’m sorry, Kogami-san. I need some time alone. Please don’t contact or follow me.

As if the last sentence wasn’t already painful enough, the shelf in his closet is emptied, her toiletries gone from his bathroom, leaving nothing that could have lasted with her so long as she stayed. He can only stare at her handwritten note, bitterly chuckling at the state of her writing; maybe it’s because people her age don’t write with pen and paper anymore. It’s such an insignificant thing to fixate on, because he doesn’t want to think of the alternative. Like she said, she just needs time to think. That’s all.

***

She found an old magazine to read, flipping through the pages, staring at photographs of a then tourist-filled Angkor Wat. Apparently people used to come early in the morning for group tours to watch the sunrise, and over the years, several foreign governments had been donating money to ensure that the temples were well-maintained and protected.

The past years’ wars meant that this support no longer exists, but the structure still stands today, even when being used a little differently than was intended. They passed by a ceremony earlier, so of course it remains to be a sacred temple in some parts, but most of the complex now housed the majority of the guerrillas, including their families. For Akane, who had never been outside Japan before, the eye-opening sights outside Shamballa Float were not far from what she read in books, or heard in the news, and yet, witnessing the circumstances of people having to adapt just so they could find their place in the world and fight for what they believed in— what a privileged person she truly was.

A few hours later, after she had gone through several old picture books and magazines on his shelf, she heard the curtain shuffle. Kogami appeared, parting the tarp and letting a gentle breeze flow into the room.

“Welcome back,” Akane blurted out, realizing too late how strange it was to say as a guest. The gesture seemed to have stunned him as well; unable to respond until after she averted his gaze.

“Thanks. Did the guys downstairs send you food?”

“Oh, yeah. I ate a little, but I wasn’t really hungry.”

“And now?”

“Still no. Have you eaten?” Akane stood, closing the book in her hand.

“Yeah. It’s late so…”

Kogami reached behind his head, stymied as his gaze traveled past her and around the confines of his room. An uncomfortable silence settled around them both, none of the serious exchanges that seemed to come easy when there’s work to discuss. She didn’t do much thinking when he asked her to stay the night, it wasn’t like she could go anywhere else.

Standing in this room, two steps away from bumping into each other, the logistics probably flew over their heads.

“Wanna take that off?”

“W-what?”

“Your vest.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She chuckled, turning around and realizing belatedly how strange the action was. It was only the vest, nothing more…

“Take the bed, I’ll move stuff around,” she heard him say through the audible crunch of the velcro. She slid the vest off, lifting a bit of her shirt in the process. Turning around, her eyes darted to him, noticing his gaze lingering on her exposed skin.

“I can sleep anywhere—”she uttered, once again not really thinking as she pulled her shirt down. Where is anywhere?

“And that’s why you’re taking the bed,” he retorts with a smirk. Was he teasing her?

“Take it easy. You’re my guest.”

Kogami busied himself, taking the chair she sat on earlier and placing it on the other side. He pushed the table back, making room for the storage crate he pulled from the other end of the room to line up with the chairs. Akane sat on the bed, gingerly folding the vest and the jacket he let her borrow earlier, wondering whether the table fulfilled the purpose of some sort of divider in the small room, blocking nothing yet placing them apart.

He grabbed some blankets from the drawer, handing a couple to her. “I don’t… have a pillow.”

“It’s fine,” Akane smiled. “Still more comfortable than you will be. Thank you.”

“This is better than a forest floor, let me assure you. Get some rest.”

Akane placed the vest and the folded jacket beneath the extra blanket, giving it enough padding and height to work as a pillow. In the corner of her eyes, he switched the light off, momentarily bathing them in darkness before turning on the lantern. Only Kogami’s footsteps remain, and the sound of a chorus of crickets fill her ears; the transition from sitting to lying down felt like an eternity.

She turned to the wall, unfurling the blanket over her body. The strange sensation of keeping her shoes on was less unnerving than the feel of her weight bearing down on the thin mattress, sleeping on a place he normally would, every inhale infused with a bit of his scent. Sweat, dust, tobacco. Neither unpleasant nor good, just… him.

With only sound, she traced his movements in the semi-darkness; aligning the chairs again before sitting down, his legs overflowing over the large crate, his feet hanging, the rustle of the blanket, the long sigh— a tired one, escaped him. Breathless, Akane felt his back meet the hard wood of the chair, his other foot planted, little movements to make himself comfortable.

It was quiet, but it wasn’t. Not at all.

“Good night,” he said.

“Good night.”

***

It’s his third attempt, feeling stupid and restless as Yayoi’s phone rings and rings over the line. They’ll get sick of him, and for how long, he’s willing to bear the brunt of their chagrin for a little bit of assurance.

“Kogami.”

“Yayoi— thanks. And sorry.”

“For what?”

“For calling non-stop. I just want to know if she’s safe.”

“She’s with us, so yes.”

He knew that. Still, it relieves him. “Can you tell her that,“ he hesitates, knowing he’s pushing his luck. "I’m heading to Ma’s for the weekend so if she wants, I can pick her up.”

“Kogami.”

“Shion—”

“We’ll tell her you called. That’s it.”

He lets out a sigh, hanging his head. Unfair as it may feel, he’s in no position to be requesting anything.

“I understand. Thank you.”

***

"I find it strange how at ease you are around here.”

Walking slightly ahead, his confidence was no different from when she first met him; quiet and commanding, a hint of mystery that she surprisingly seemed to be able to peel away bit by bit.

Homura looked back, stopping in his tracks. “You mean to say, after fabricating a position in the Ministry whose purpose is to quote-unquote surveil these wards, you assumed that I do not come here frequently?”

Spot on, she thought, a smile tugging at her lips.

“I would have expected you to be a regular in the country clubs more than the slums.”

They had only known each other for a few weeks. Prying aside, it made her wonder how many more stereotypical rich man traits she could hurl at him, since it seemed he possessed less than the usual.

“It’s not that I don’t go. To country clubs, I mean. There’s indeed plenty of ways to spend my time and money.”

And yet they were together for the third weekend in a row in the least fanciest of places. Akane caught up, falling into step with him as they traverse another random street that ends by the Kanda River.

“I could go shopping, but I can also just give my tailor or my personal shopper a call, ask him to surprise me,” he continued, grinning. “I could go to the casino, waste away a few.”

“How much is a few?”

“More than what should be allowed to be wasted. I hate games, but I’m not bad at them, so you can imagine I had to lose even a little bit for them to not completely ban me in their premises.”

Akane couldn’t help but laugh. “And what else, Homura-san?”

“Hmm… I could easily get on a private jet and take a vacation overseas.”

“Where, though? Isn’t it dangerous to travel outside the country?”

They reached the river with an old park. He took a seat on the bench nearest the water, crossing his legs and leaning back with a tilt of his head, gesturing at her to sit. She obliged, watching him gaze forward with a quiet serenity, untouchable, until he let out an audible sigh.

“I wish I could say this without sounding like a pompous fool, but then I’d be a hypocrite, won’t I?”

Homura looked at her with a tinge of guilt behind his eyes. Akane raises her brow, noticing the subtle deviations from his stoic expression a lot more quicker now.

“I don’t quite understand…”

“For people of my family’s economic standing,” he paused, as if every word was causing him great discomfort, “the world is round, and what we have here, we can have anywhere else, regardless of what is currently happening. Sometimes even better, since price is not an issue.”

“Oh.”

“I say I’m a hypocrite because I do not and will never deny benefitting from this privilege. I do not reject it, nor do I resent it. No matter what, I am who I am now because of my family. But also…”

Akane watched him hesitate, arms crossed as he fixed his gaze across the water, as if staring at something much farther away.

“I was born here.”

Akane did a double-take, sure that she had misheard.

“What?”

He grinned, satisfied that he got such a reaction out of her. “You heard right.”

As if that explained everything. Akane turned to the water, unsure whether they were at a stage where she could pry into his personal matters, like they were friends.

“I was adopted, taken from here when I was not even three years old. It’s not public information, but my father never made me forget that, and at the same time he took great lengths to ensure I didn’t find out anything more than that simple fact.”

“Judging from how you speak, I’d say he wasn’t very successful, then.”

“He probably should have kept a tighter leash on my bank accounts, but… as much as he’d been strict to me, I was never denied anything money could buy.”

Which is a lot, she imagined, finishing the sentence in her head. Since spending time together more frequently, learning the little things and noticing the fine details; the fabric of his suit, the shine of his shoes, the scent of his cologne, the wave of his perfectly styled hair— in retrospect, despite his wealth, the way he carried himself in the streets of Akihabara was that of someone more at home than his appearance would suggest.

“My mother was a sex worker. She died giving birth to me, leaving me temporarily in the care of my mother’s colleagues. Unfortunately that’s the extent of what I have been able to confirm without doubt.”

“There were rumors that I was an illegitimate child, the result of my father’s carelessness. Another rumor was that my father was a loyal customer who merely took a shine on my mother, adopting me out of sympathy.”

“Do you… know who she is? Her name, where she came from?”

“No.” His eyes, downcast, flickered between the glimmering water and a small stain on the tip of his shoe. “To begin with, it wasn’t like I had much to go with. Record-keeping in the blocks was almost non-existent back then. Children are born and named, or found. Regardless of where they came from, they are adopted, cared for without question by their communities. My mother’s line of work didn’t exactly promote the opposite of anonymity, either.”

“Sorry to hear that. It must have been tough not to find the answers, even if you could afford to validate it.”

He chuckled softly, sliding down the seat and putting his hands in his pockets. “What I could pay for was little information, and in the end, something else about this place convinced me I wasn’t getting anything less than the truth.”

Curious, she gave him a look that he easily understood. It occurred to her that he never held back on her account. Sometimes all she needed to do was ask, even without the need for words.

“Do you think someone like me would have been able to walk these streets untouched?”

Her eyes widened in realization… Looking back when they would first spend time together, she worried about walking the streets unarmed, side by side with him, only to observe that not only do the locals leave them alone, but that he wasn’t ever treated differently or specially, as if…

“They knew.”

“I admit I never had the courage to ask them directly, but I think I can trust my gut on this one,“ he hesitated, starting with a tone less defeated, more inspired. "My affinity to this place goes beyond my mother now. I’ve always wondered what I could do here, but at the moment it’s something so insubstantial, like spending my money.”

Akane smiled softly. “I’m sure they don’t appreciate it less.”

He looked at her then, reverent, before breaking into a smile.

Not the kind she used to associate with his cunning, calculating moves; a symbol of her premature distrust. It’s his thinly-veiled facade, broken down in a matter of weeks, shed away without her even realizing.

And all at once, a page turns. Akane looked away, recognizing a spark of emotion, barely-there, a knock on her chest, unmistakeable, irresistible pull, felt only once before…

***

Waking up, flitting from dream to dream, Akane’s restless eyes shut closed, blocking the sunlight with her arm and turning away from the window. It’s high enough in the sky that the curtains are useless, especially now she’s not even sure going back to sleep will do her any good.

Shion greets her in the kitchen, placing a plate of souffle pancakes with whipped cream, syrup and berries in front of her.

“A bit late for breakfast but too early for lunch, Akane-chan. Have a seat.”

“Thank you, Shion-san.”

“Yayoi went out for an interview, but she’ll be back later. Coffee?”

“Espresso, please.”

The machine whirrs noisily in the background as Akane takes her first bite. She used to spend weekends here when she had free time, going on spa dates and watching movies together. Lately it has been difficult, but as it is among good friends, nothing ever really changes. She takes a big bite, lighting up and realizing she hadn’t eaten a proper meal last night and is actually pretty hungry.

“How do you like it?” Shion asks, placing their cups on the table and sitting across.

“It’s good. Looks like you perfected it!”

“I know, right? It’s the whipping and folding in the whites that I keep getting wrong. Try the coffee. Yayoi got the beans from one of her contacts in the port. Said it’s from Brazil.”

Akane picks up the cup, the familiar scent ticking her nose. Sipping carefully, the taste fills her senses, uplifting and lonesome at the same time. It’s the same coffee that Chiyo made for her a few days ago…

“Kogami called earlier. Based on what I know, I was expecting someone different.”

Akane swirls a blueberry in the cream before popping it in her mouth. She expected he would. Her phone is dead, her communicator buried deep in her bag, and Shion, despite her earlier concern, isn’t hiding her curiosity while staring at the bruise on her neck..

“Wanna tell me what happened?”

“That’s why I’m here,” she says, resigned but relieved.

***

Long after her plate is cleared, and another round of espresso finished, the story she tells is less satisfying coming out of her own mouth, like a recounting of all her stupid mistakes. Shion listens intently, no judgment nor taking sides, just an open mind, a ready ear. The cards fall, the weight of the aftermath is hers to ponder, hers to bear, but knowing she doesn’t have to do it alone makes all the difference.

“For what it’s worth, maybe the mess, as you say, had to happen.”

Akane forces a smile. “I was greedy.”

“Weren’t you all? I can’t be the only one thinking none of you had any self control in the slightest,” Shion giggles, happy that Akane caught her drift. “I’ll bet my engagement ring that none of you can tell me with a straight face that it’s only your hearts that drove yourselves into this corner. Congrats on the sex, by the way.”

Shion winks, making Akane bury her face in her hands.

“It was reallygood.”

“As it should be!” Shion laughs affectionately. “Listen, since it’s pretty clear that neither of them are backing down. At least you had half a head to get yourself out of the situation.”

“And now I don’t even know what to make of everything. I feel stuck.”

Shion softens, stroking her cheek with the back of her hand.

“Do you feel pressured to make a decision?”

“I can’t help it. I do. I don’t want to string anyone along…”

“But you’re not. You all just got caught up in each other. For better or worse, you’re not the only party responsible for what brought you here. You did the right thing, distancing yourself. Give yourself time to think.”

Akane sighs. In the end, someone will lose. Maybe even her.

“Do you think I’ll make the right decision?”

Across the table, Shion reaches out to hold her hand. The gesture feels a world away from those that held her the past few days. No less loved, or cared for, but comforting all the same. Shion’s palms are soft, her painted nails a nice splash of color, her engagement ring glimmering in the late morning sunlight; a reminder of beautiful things to come.

“Well, from what you’ve told me so far, I can’t say you can make a bad one, at least. And not just for you. Don’t forget that you’re quite the catch.“

She laughs, tearing up unexpectedly at Shion’s teasing. “I just wish it were easier.”

“If it were easier, you wouldn’t be here at all.”

Shion stands up, walking to her side to pull her close. Akane settles in her embrace, welcoming the warmth she needs to set her head straight, to sort out her feelings. Always easier said than done, this she knows, as insecurity rears its ugly head, her mind trampling over her heart in front of a forked road.

There’s no turning back now.

***

Akane returns to her apartment on Sunday night; the sight of her front door serves as a stark reminder that the distraction of spending time with her friends is over, and that reality waits for her on the other side.

The lights turn on, revealing the place as she left it; fairly tidy and barely lived in. Once again, the walls of her apartment seem to engulf her in unnecessary spaces, where she finds herself searching for life in the way she let herself get used to; be it a form of a dog or a sleeping drone, a neatly folded scarf or jacket behind a dining room chair, a set of books in the middle of being read, an empty ashtray, and a myriad of other little things she won’t find there.

On the coffee table in her living room, her ring, her necklace, and Kogami’s dog tags, left forgotten, both given, regardless of intention. While she stares at the contrasting sparkle of the jewelry to the worn and beaten chain, the irony of bearing the brunt of everything in a span of a week is not lost on her. She knows, they all know, this goes back further.

Akane turns tail, walking away from a choice she’s not yet ready to make.

***

Around her were rising towers, modern and imposing over the Cambodian skyline. Far cry from the stone temples that blended their shapes among the trees, in the forests where the fighters lived. This was a place for peace, but outside its walls and beyond, a different world still existed.

She cupped her chin, a heavy thought lingering like an itch at the back of her mind. Ginoza’s words were laced with his usual overprotectiveness, and she accepted it. He knew she could see through him, and maybe, they even shared the same dissatisfaction with their parting.

Aboard the plane that would take them home, the distance grew in front of her eyes, from the land, to the sky. Where he was now, or where he was headed, it was entirely possible that she might never see him again. Their gazes lingered in a fleeting moment; only the two of them in the midst of disarray, barely escaping the clutches of death. She might have wanted to say something back then, something that would have meant more than just the little time they earned to rekindle, to get their bearings together that made her say things before they had parted, like she wanted to stay. It wasn’t the time and place. They never seemed to be afforded that.

And so Akane tucked every piece of him away, a protected corner, sacred, in the back of her mind, in the shelves of her heart. Maybe they will meet again. That hope will not drive her, but she did not let it die.

***

She cracked her eyes open in the semi-darkness, making out the shapes of the curtains, their bodies rising and falling, breaths syncing. Shizuka was neither a heavy or a light sleeper, but it was more often that he caught her asleep than the other way around, judging from the growing collection of candid photographs on his phone. It was too dark to take a photo— not that she was intending to, anyway.

She slowly separated from him, propping up on the pillow, gazing down as her eyes adjusted to the moonlight streaming from the window. Serene and defenseless, a view she’d daresay she had a monopoly on, brought a smile to her face. Brushing his hair aside, she envied the smooth skin of his forehead, his brows that rarely creased even in stressful situations. To many, he was the epitome of a perfect man.

He was far from perfect. Akane knew that he can be selfish and headstrong, not one to yield even when he is crippled and out of luck; that he often used his stoicism as a mask to make hard decisions, and that he always looked beyond what’s right in front of him, always weighing and taking on bigger things that he alone can’t carry. And yet, he always got things done. Made right choices, executed some questionable strategies, defended radical ideas, did the necessary for change. People were sometimes not ready for it. They were not ready for him.

But he was also materialistic and petty, and despite his level of discretion, she could tell that he loved showing off. Whoever the object of his affection would never want for anything, except time, which she knew they were getting less and less of.

Akane traced a finger over his lips, perfectly shaped and soft, her newest addiction. His passion was gradual, testing the waters and drawing back, holding themselves accountable as if they had a tacit agreement that whatever they were beginning to feel for each other was far insignificant than what they could accomplish without giving into something so unmistakably human.

How wrong she was, not because she knew he would be the first to break, but because she was already waiting on the other side of the door with a hand on the knob, ready to let him in.

Beneath her, his shoulders shifted, hand twitching, seeking her. Akane laced their fingers together, planting a kiss over his mouth, careful not to rouse him. She barely succeeded, feeling him reciprocate in the last second, closing over her bottom lip. She smiled, lying back down to snuggle against the crook of his neck as he ran his hand over the middle of her back. A small moment, reassuring gesture. What was held, still held, and what was felt, still felt.

"Sleep.”

***

The notification came in early that morning, and she definitely remembers reading it in a sleepier state. Between then and now is a blur, but she’s wide awake, staring at the numbers on the elevator panel as she taps her feet while they stop at almost every floor. She’s late.

Akane steps out to an empty hallway, in a sight far different from when she was here last. A switch had turned on; excitement and anxiety rising, barely contained in her small frame. This is it, the culmination of all their hard work. It feels like a lifetime ago, like she’s someone else who wanted to do big things, riding on the wave of Shizuka’s ideals, his goals that resonated with her own. She’s not running now, and even if things haven’t slowed down, the world needs to right itself, because they’re all still moving in it.

The doors open as she is in the middle of fixing her suit, and she feels every pair of eyes redirect from the center of the room, where Shizuka is standing in front of the screen, to her.

Their gazes meet. Her first instinct is to bow low, to save herself from facing the unmasking of his facade as she mutters an apology.

“Sorry, I’m late.”

“It’s fine, we barely started,” Shizuka says in a calm tone.

An awkward silence fills the air as she takes a seat, not in her usual place next to him but at the other end of the table. Belatedly, she realizes her choice might not have been the best; Kogami appears in her peripheral vision, eyes fixed on her. Part of her is a little relieved that there’s no need to be conversing with anyone at this time, and if they will need to, work has always been a reliable shield. They’re professionals, after all.

Shizuka takes her silence as a cue to continue, and pulls up a map of the Akihabara block on the screen.

“As you may already know, your case reports and all the results of the investigation last week had been directly forwarded to Sibyl for evaluation. We’ve reviewed this thoroughly as soon as we received it and even over the weekend, but before anything, of course I’d like to thank each and every one of you for the hours you’ve put in and the quality of work that we’ve received. Goes without saying but we knew we assigned the best to get this done, and the best was exactly what we got and more, so thank you.”

Akane smiles faintly, picking up on the change in his tone. Shizuka is not one to reserve praises, in fact he’s known to give them freely. Outside Division 1 this is not common knowledge, but getting the higher profile cases also means they are the most exposed to him. To the rest of the world, he’s no different nor visible than the former Kasei or Hosorogi, just a bit on the handsome side. Maybe seeing him be genuinely good-natured in front of the SAD is making her a little proud.

“Over the years, Sibyl has successfully exported its technology outside Japan. This begs the question why, in Japan’s own capital, does a portion remain hidden in society, when it’s populated by people who are not only trying to live normal lives, but deserve the same amount of resources, support and opportunities afforded to everyone else? The residents of the abolition blocks have been shunned, erased from society by forces who took away their choice and people who never bothered to give them a chance. Perhaps this was something that made sense in the early days of Sibyl, but most certainly does not make sense now.”

“Sibyl and the government had turned away from their responsibilities to these citizens, all the while indirectly benefiting through the connections the businesses in the blocks had made over the years. You’ve been there. You’ve seen them. Living despite being limited, helping each other thrive in their little world, oftentimes exploited without a means to protect themselves. Crime should not pollute neighborhoods where children are being born and raised, immigrants should be allowed to make themselves a home and feel safe, parents should not have to resort to illicit activities so that they can survive. These people deserve a better life, they shouldn’t have to live in the shadows when the closest they are to freedom should have been the moment they step out their door—”

Shizuka pauses, overcome with emotion that he reels in just as fast, as if he just remembered where he is, who he’s speaking to.

"This can’t continue. I won’t allow it.”

Underneath the table, Akane’s hand closes to a fist. Their gazes meet again, his intensity countered with softness, a proud smile ghosting the edges of her lips—a balm to quell him, to propel him to action as he turns away, swiping a hand over the screen with details on the map, colors flashing over the dark of his suit.

“Offloading the initial investigation to all of you gave me the opportunity to get everything in order; the necessary support needed from the offices within the Ministry of Health and Welfare, and those outside, including the Ministries of Economy, Trade and Industry, Land, Infrastructure and Transport, Finance, Foreign Affairs and finally the Ministry of Education. I’m happy to announce that Sibyl has approved a full integration of all the abolition blocks.”

The atmosphere shifts so dramatically from serious to mild surprise, to collective joy; Irie’s face is priceless, his eyes glistening as he leads the table with an enthusiastic round of applause. Arata gives his shoulder a firm shake, clapping just as loud.

“Wow, Chief. Wow.” Irie beams, clutching at his chest. “I don’t know why I doubted this possibility but now I can’t even think about it going other than the way you’re saying it will. I mean I—this is exactly what I had hoped, you know?”

“I’m glad. This is what we’ve hoped for, too,” Shizuka replies, casting a wistful glance at Akane before turning to the screen again. “Lots of work to do, but this is a start. It sounds so easy on

paper, but it requires many moving parts. The budget was approved last Friday for the overall project, and this involves construction of infrastructure, citizen registration, initiation and education, health and safety measures, cultural integration and of course, a phased adoption— it’s a lot, let me tell you, but I believe this is a step in the right direction.”

“This is quite a shift from what you’d expect from our government, that’s for sure,” Todoroki comments, taken aback after realizing that he said it out loud. “Am I allowed to say that?”

Mika snorts, crossing her arms. “Of course you are. It is a fact that Sibyl would not have even considered it had the Chief not pushed for it.”

“Getting your hands way too full, Homura.”

“I recognize this, Hanashiro, but I’m not doing it alone. While the role of this team is now officially disbanded, we will be dedicating resources in the CID to support the completion of this project. Sibyl has nominated Arata and Irie as ambassadors, should they accept—”

“Roger!” Arata and Irie say in unison.

Shizuka smiles, placing his hands in his pockets.

Akane, who had been distracted, staring at what looked like bandages over his knuckles, looks up to meet his gaze. She was backtracking if she saw them the night before, but he hides them with a well-timed comment, directed at her.

“I’ve nominated Tsunemori to oversee the management of CID resources for this project, should she also accept.”

“Of course,” she responds, serious this time. Her curiosity nags, itching to know the details as she realizes with a tinge of regret that she might have known all this if she hadn’t been away. Regardless of her feelings, she’s very much invested in this project, and she feels as if she missed out on something crucial because she was too engrossed in something so trivial as who she decided to spend her nights with. Impulse has words tumbling out of her mouth, right before he makes a decision to move on and change the subject.

“Whose idea was it to phase the adoption?”

“Mine.”

While he’s quick on the retort, her easy approval is understood with a curt nod, like they’re back to their usual ways. Akane recognizes in him her own reflection, someone looking ahead and beyond, putting pieces together in the background, trusting the abilities of people around him, revealing his cards when it’s time. Too soon, and too vivid, as if her dreams haven’t already been bombarding her with details, the real thing right in front of her is someone she’s most familiar with, and she finds herself in danger of being swept into a conversation that renders the room irrelevant, reducing the people around them to a heady blur in her line of vision. Akane breaks his stare, worrying her bottom lip as she looks down at her shaking fingers, clasping them together, a manifestation of the state of her heart.

“A dedicated member of the SAD will also be assigned to the field on rotation every two weeks. This will be delegated by Hanashiro—”

“It will be Kogami for the first round,” Hanashiro says, without pause. Her knowing smile shines with the tone of a friendly warning. “I expect it won’t be as smooth as you think.”

“Yes,” Shizuka chuckles, shrugging. “I do not delude myself into thinking this is going to be achieved in one fell swoop. This is why I had a proposed plan and needed dedicated resources. The details will be ironed out collectively by the rest of the teams, which I will still oversee.”

“Managing people from other Ministries will be quite the challenge, if you ask me.”

“True, but this isn’t going to work without them, either. We are specialized in solving crimes. What we can’t do, others must know better, and we need to utilize their expertise.”

“But will they have the same empathy as we do?” Kogami asks, surprising the table while tapping an unlit cigarette stick on the desk, earning a stink eye as far from where Shimotsuki was sitting at the other end of the table. “We’ve invested on this and seen the side of the blocks that these other ministries haven’t—”

“You underestimate them, Kogami. How do you think I managed to get this much support with such a short amount of time?”

“Well, you’re a smooth-talker, aren’t you?”

“Hey,” Hanashiro warns.

“If we take this on with cynicism then we might as well not start,” Mika says, rolling her eyes. “Those people, much like all of us in this room, possess the competencies to do the job. It’s really that simple.“

"But all the same, neither of you are wrong— we should just be mindful that one could exist in the absence of the other,” Ginoza says.

“Fair point. The project team will have next week completely dedicated to planning for this, though I recall the MFA will not be participating fully?”

“Correct. I’ve defined what their roles will be, my team will be too stretched if I let them go beyond that.”

“That’s clear. Based on what we’ve gathered from the investigation, the Akihabara block is the pilot.” Shizuka highlights the areas in the map, starting from the east residential side to the west. “The CID will leverage their existing network. I rely on you to nominate representatives from the blocks to ensure their collective interests are not overlooked and to ensure open communication to make this a success.”

“Yes, sir!” Irie salutes, making Arata laugh.

“He’s too into it,” Mao says, rolling her eyes.

“As he should.” Shizuka beams, glancing at his watch. “Shimotsuki will share the project team’s schedule soon. As for the rest of the team, this is the end of the road, for now.”

“It was a great experience, Chief,” Kei says, with the others nodding in agreement.

“Before I go, I know I’ve already said this but I can’t thank you all enough.” He bows fully, taking a moment to compose himself before rising to his full height. Akane watches him glance softly at every person in the room, even to Kogami, who is sitting closest to her, before looking down to put his hands in his pockets.

"I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Akane’s chest tightens as he turns on his heel, walking towards the side entrance. Those words are for her alone, and she finds herself wishing he gave her an opportunity to say the same, but the doors close behind him and she remains rooted to her seat, too quick for her to make up her mind, and too soon for her to make selfish wishes into reality.

***

The next weeks don’t come easy; the project is time and labor-intensive, where they are either cooped up in the conference room with team members from different ministries, getting to know other people’s jobs and firming up strategies with each other’s roles in mind, or juggling that with what’s still going on in the blocks that require their assistance, since there are still some groups persistent on re-establishing their illegal activities.

Akane goes through the motions, barely having the time to face the things she’s been running away from, yet time seems to stretch on and on in the hours between. She finds herself waking up in the morning reaching, wondering if part of her dreams are fabricated by the lack of a warm body to anchor her while her head swims, plunging her heart back to every memory she revisits with surprising dependency.

So when she receives the invite for Yayoi and Shion’s version of a rehearsal dinner, it never occurred to her that it would be the first time she’ll get to see Kogami outside the professional setting, where they’re not talking behind holographic screens or have a list of immediate tasks to distract them from addressing what’s been hanging in the air ever since she walked out on him.

Her phone rings, as she expected. Like good friends do, Shion seems to be manifesting the same thoughts.

“Hey Shion-san.”

“Akane-chan, you’ve gone silent on me again.”

She chuckles, guilty. “Yeah, it’s been pretty hectic lately.”

“Well, you know why I called, right? Will it be okay? Because if not, I can just uninvite Kogami, it’s not a big deal.”

“No, don’t do that!”

“Really? So you two are good, then?”

Akane pauses, staring at the ceiling. “Professionally, yes.”

“Oof.”

“Don’t worry! If anything it will probably be a good chance to talk. We haven’t been able to, at all.”

“As long as you’re comfortable.”

“Don’t be silly, Shion-san. First and foremost, tomorrow night is for you and Yayoi-san.”

“Alright, then. Sorry for the short notice, by the way. We ended up scrapping all the fancy plans.“

"I can imagine. You seem to be as busy as we are!”

“Tell me about it. Certainly feels like something that should really be momentous, and it is, but now the supposed fanfare that comes with it just feels like a hassle.”

“The most important thing is you both agree.”

“Absolutely,” Shion says, satisfied. “I shall see you tomorrow, then? In a pretty dress?”

“Yes, of course. Looking forward to it!”

Akane stares at her phone, then at the blinking cursor on the screen in front of her. It’s way past her shift and she still has one report to go through; a typical situation these days. The decision to keep working is hers, even when she knows that she doesn’t have to, despite being swamped with work. It can’t be helped; the alternative is to go home and stay home, with nothing in particular to do except maybe spar with her drone or fall asleep watching shows…

Her life has shifted to the normal, though she feels herself resisting it, even when she can’t find a replacement for the things she’s missing. Cooking for herself isn’t nearly as fun or satisfying, she has no pets to cuddle and no books she wants to read in particular. Back then it didn’t matter so much that she had no one to speak to at the end of the day, no rose petal warm baths where she’s held under the water, kissed on the cheek. Whether extravagant or simple, she can’t deny the difference it made having someone, because she’s never really given herself that luxury in the past, never gave into the weakness, or the strength it gives. She loved, and was loved— it made a whole lot of difference.

There’s no point staying; perhaps she’ll go explore around Akihabara and tire herself out before heading home. She turns off the screen, packing up her things with a dejected sigh. It’s probably the third straight day this week that she’s last to leave among her team, especially since Division 1 has been cut in half, with most of them assigned on regular shifts. They’ve kept the office upstairs that Arata reserved for them; stepping out to an even emptier hallway isn’t anything new anymore.

An otherwise empty elevator, however, is not.

***

Shizuka stares back at her, just as stunned. They stand unmoving long enough that the doors begin to close, both of them jumping to react, closing the distance that has them almost crashing into each other, as if neither of them realized what their actions would result to. He’s quick to recover; stepping aside while keeping his hand up to block the doors.

“Sorry,” she mumbles.

“Don’t be,” he says.

These days she often sees him in the center of a room full of people, never alone or unmoving, never in silence. This is the last place she thought they’d run into each other, and yet here they are, their reflection side by side in the elevator mirrors when the doors close, telling a story only they know.

They descend in silence; Akane pointedly staring at a single button on her shirt, trying not to hold her breath.

“I didn’t think you’d be staying this late…”

His words strike a chord as their gazes meet in the mirror. He seems to be getting back into the same mannerisms as before; stoic and calm as if he’s not physically there, but his voice hasn’t succeeded in hiding his concern.

“Well… I could say the same for you,” she replies, nonchalant. The pretense falls just as fast; Akane doesn’t know what else to say or where to start, but she can’t look away from him, either.

He clears his throat, likely swallowing down a retort at something he must have thought amusing. Once again, they find themselves in the same place, looking in the same direction, and, he hopes, wanting the same thing.

“I can,” he pauses, turning slowly to face her. “I can assign support if you need it.”

Just tell me.

Her gaze follows, glued to his every move, holding on to his every word. He is as genuine, ready to move mountains at her behest, and yet he asks something more, something he doesn’t say that shows so clearly in his eyes. No one knows him like she does, just as she is sure, with a little bit of arrogance, that he might never open himself up to anyone ever again.

The bell rings, the doors open, breaking them out of their trance. Her feet move, one step in front of the other, to fulfill the task of getting her home, but she pauses and turns, meeting his gaze.

“There’s no need. Thank you and drive safely.”

“I don’t drive,” he says, stepping out of the elevator.

“I know.” She smiles, a little lonely.

”You drive safe, then.“

She nods, turning away. For her heart’s sake.

"Good night, Akane.”

***

Heels clicking over the marble floor, she dashes towards the entrance to the private dining area. The usher opens the door and leads her to the balcony, bathed in bright orange as the sun sets over the Tokyo Skyline. She catches her breath, glad that her entrance is largely ignored thanks to the presence of the beautiful couple dancing in the middle.

Largely ignored, save for one.

Kogami’s eyes follow her slow steps forward, from the other side of the floor where he stands alone, cigarette in hand. Shaken, her hopes of catching her breath dissipate like the smoke billowing around him, like he’s already held her even when he’s some distance away. She briefly registers Yayoi and Shion’s favorite song playing in the background, a tune she’s come to associate with pure, lasting love that she thought was beyond her reach; Akane’s chest aches, unable to walk to him as she normally would.

“Senpai!”

Mika appears next to her, making her jump. Breaking his stare, albeit unintentionally, almost feels like a relief.

“Hello, Mika-chan!”

“You’re being uncharacteristically late these days.”

Blushing, Akane hangs her head apologetically. “Yeah, I’ve been… out of it.”

“Well, you look nice. More than makes up for it,” Mika says, averting her gaze and tucking her hair behind her ear. “Anyone would be forgiving.”

“I think maybe I should strive to be just as beautiful as you without the tardiness.”

Mika smiles, offering her hand. “You should probably show yourself, shall I escort you closer to the group?”

Akane instead, smiles and hooks her arm around her. “Please.”

***

#volition #kouaka #shizuaka #静朱 #狡朱 #ok so i had intended this to be the last chapter but #gestures wildly #storytelling am i right #think of it as the first part to the last chapter

Sun, 03 Apr 2022 13:38:02

volition

previous chapters - XIV (ao3)

Left alone, the moment dies fast—music fills her ears, deafening, his warmth replaced with an overflowing sea, the heat of bodies that do not know her, moving against her, ready to spit her out, but no more threatening than the simple fact that she doesn’t belong. She finds her way, leaving the floor and locking herself in a cubicle inside the ladies’ restroom, taking off her mask and sitting on the seat, breaking toilet paper as she wipes her tears.

This was inevitable: her mess, unfurled beneath the security of professionalism, her ready excuse. She’s dug into a hole far too deep to get out of, choosing to ignore reason to submit to her whims, sins accumulating, one after the other. The truth is inescapable, and her past days afford no shield as she is hit with full force.

She’s a fool. Took the easy route, ran away clutching what little she thought she could take with her, spiraling, taking what’s offered without second thought, just so her needs would be met. Inside the narrow walls of a toilet cubicle, she’s nothing but a defeated heart with no answers or lies, only burning questions, chained by moments strung with feelings she can’t piece together, not knowing what to hang onto but unearthed memories and emotions tangled in his wake.

***

The chances of spotting her in the sea of people would have been slim; he had resigned to the possibility of not seeing her at all, and yet when he arrived, he broke his own rules. The first thing he checked is her location through the tracker, the first image he committed to memory is of her entering the dance floor, the first thing he did is leave his post so he can take her in his arms, embrace her in the little time he has, kiss her in a bid to win her back.

Shizuka succeeds in walking away, heart in hand, knuckles stinging beneath the bandages in the same vein as his palms twitch, missing the touch of her soft skin. He came here to do a job, a mission of his own. It took all his strength to part from her, but as much as he knows himself, he knows how they are, best of all.

His phone beeps, revealing a message with instructions on his contact’s location. If he had a say in the matter, he would rather stay in the inner sections; one eye on the mission, one eye on the prize. Despite this, the irony of deviating from his plans triggering a chain of events is not lost on him.

Alas, standing guard in the middle of the hallway is the only man capable of landing a fatal blow without needing to touch him. Kogami, who has just thrown away a cigarette in the nearby bin, looks amazing even underneath the mask. Tall, intense, and powerful, he wears the suit with the same dangerous appeal; he almost envies the duality of the man. His appreciation is short-lived when Kogami catches sight of him, their disdain beneath silk and lace so clearly mirrored in each other’s faces.

Shizuka is much faster on the recovery; morphing his disgust into an icy stare.

“So how does it feel to enjoy a spoil of war that you could only get in a moment of weakness—her weakness, by the way, and not yours?”

“You’re really gonna do this now, rich boy?”

“Actually, you’re in the way of my destination.”

Kogami manages to hold down his irritation, but only just. Opting to stay in his spot, he gives Homura credit for deciding a couple of steps away is a safe distance. He’s not dealing with an idiot. Good.

“You’ve been awfully active in these parts, Chief.”

“I do what needs to be done. Not sure about you, though—”

Infuriated, Kogami grabs him by the collar, looking down at the momentary shock on his face. Homura breaks into a shrill laugh, his wavy hair falling out of place.

“—since you can’t keep your hands to yourself. Now will you get out of the way?”

“Or what, asshole?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll use one of these,” he shows the back of his hand, shaking his fingers and slowly tucking them in his palm save for the middle, “Irie. Or was this finger Kei? Wanna try?”

“Fuck off,” Kogami spits, letting him go with as much restraint as he can muster.

Shizuka falters a few steps, needing a moment to straighten up and smoothen the creases in his suit. He tosses his head back to fix his hair, still laughing when Kogami walks past.

“We’re not so different, you and I.”

Kogami recognizes the vestiges of a threat, stopping in his tracks to meet his cold, calculating stare.

“I don’t waste my precious time, either.“

***

The trip back felt like shedding an outer skin, though it feels less rejuvenating, more mechanical. Akane’s back hits the hard wall, her chosen spot where one of the VIP couches is in full view, waiting and observing while her other hand absentmindedly digs inside her pocket, rubbing the little packet in time with the music. The man she saw earlier is still alone, starting to indulge in the sake he chose, maybe getting impatient whilst drinking his nerves away. He might not meet anyone at all tonight, but with the rate he’s going, he won’t be sober in case someone does show up.

On the other side, she finally spots Irie, who is in a conversation with a couple of men while twirling what looks like Arata’s top hat in his hands. His side has been busy ever since the night began, and with no ongoing conversations over the line, it’s safe to assume she’s the only one not having an eventful night—if such a thing can even be said about what’s happened so far.

She watches like a hawk, but it’s enough of a distraction; the memory replays over and over. The touch of his hand, the heat of his gaze behind the silk mask, his breath over her lips, the kiss; a fleeting moment that will follow her, haunt her in her sleep. She never had the chance to ask why he’s here, though it’s not a far cry to assume they’re all working towards the same thing. Like the games they used to play, she’s the only one who can tell how Shizuka is less mysterious when he wants to win.

***

Behind the door, the meeting ends, and Kogami steps away and out the hallway to loiter, watching a couple of suited men file out the room. One of them heads to the dance floor, and he follows him to the area where Akane is assigned. Sure enough, he spots her leaning against a pillar near the couches, and conveniently, his target decides he’ll have a chat with the man she has her eyes on.

He swipes a bottle of beer from an unknowing waiter’s tray, disappearing into the dance floor and making his way towards Akane. She watches closely, feigning a yawn and contorting her expression as if the music isn’t to her taste. The man he’s trailing is oddly cautious, scanning the floor like an amateur, looking for something but having no idea what. Still, Kogami decides it’s in their best interests to remain low-key.

The thought is better than the execution, however, since his body reacts much faster than his brain decides to make some sort of calculated plan, catching her by surprise and pinning her against the pillar the moment their eyes meet.

Kogami kisses her deep, dropping the beer in his hand as he embraces her. The bottle breaks next to their feet, Akane barely registering the turn of events as the liquid splashes on her ankles. He maneuvers her away from the spill, putting her in better view of the couches, grinning against her lips when he pulls away.

"What—”

“Sorry, go look ahead but pretend you’re not looking, will you?”

He kisses her cheek, pressing against her as she responds with a shaky exhale. Akane plants her hands on his chest to brace herself, noting the purpose of his guise. Her gaze travels to the couch where the two men exchange business cards, bowing to each other, the man who she was watching looking surprisingly alert and sober.

“Was following that guy, as you can see. Looks like he’s about to get chummy with your man in waiting.”

“I’m not sure you thought through how you expect me to gather information like this,” she says, sliding a finger above her brow to activate the video capturing device. “We’re not close enough to hear anything.”

“You weren’t either, weren’t you? What was your plan initially?”

“Maybe not get pinned against a pillar by you,” she snorts. “I was going to drift and dance around a bit hoping to get within earshot.”

“Drift and dance?”

The tease immediately makes her regret divulging this information, but she wishes she can be less shocked when he starts swaying to the beat while still holding on to her. Akane deactivates the mask with a flick of her finger; at this point capturing video is useless.

“What are you doing?”

“Dancing… maybe drifting, oh wait, we’ll have to move away from here if we want to drift, right?”

“Are you sure you’re not just trying to rub onto me with those moves?”

“I’m not,” he promises, “I’m a bad dancer, and I’m not even drunk.”

“Stop—” she giggles, his breath tickling the side of her neck as he pulls her away. He leads them to another side, dangerously tipping over one of the velvet ropes.

“Maybe we should have bought one of the couches instead,” he whispers in her ear while trying to maintain a rhythm to distract him from staring at the sway of Akane’s hips. Unlike him, she maintains her act without fail, dancing to the beat but leading him closer where she might be able to hear something.

“This section was fully booked, but as you can see, I haven’t had much to do until you came along.”

“I can’t say I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I can’t really make out what they’re saying either,” she says, serious. “What if we…”

“I’m listening,” he says, catching her arms and placing them above his shoulders, sliding his hands on her sides as he catches a glimpse of the two men huddling closer on the couch. “Your call, Miss.”

“Take me to the couch behind theirs and…”

Kogami perks up, her idea clicking way ahead of the details as he slowly turns his head so he can look in her eyes.

“Andwhat?”

“Do what you need to do to get us closer to hearing,” she whispers, averting her gaze. “I-I can lose the audio device on purpose.”

He stares at her ear, where the stone housing the audio device dangles from her hook earrings. It’s linked directly to the immediate storage drive, also a router that facilitates uploading with their limited network capacity in the blocks, handled by Gino and Ignatov outside the building. Admittedly, it’s not like he hasn’t been waiting to ravish her the whole night; something about her asking for it so they can do their job is igniting something carnal within him.

Akane is still, nervously waiting for his cue. He takes the earring between his finger and thumb before carefully unhooking it from her lobe, staring down at her with a heated gaze, suspending her in a split second with a ghost of hesitation.

“Let’s—”

He swallows her words in a luscious kiss, backing her up and toppling the velvet ropes in front of the couch he lays her in. Akane hangs on, overwhelmed as he stealthily tosses the earring to the other couch, where it lands just behind one of the men.

“Record it.”

She nods, pressing her thumb and ring finger over his neck for three seconds until she hears the beep in her other ear. The sound pulls out a sigh from her, even if she can’t see what’s happening, it’s working…

Kogami captures her lips, backing her further into the soft cushion while his hands start wandering, bold and hungry, over her neck, her chest, his other hand bracing her bottom so he can position her to slot his legs between. Speechless, she’s unable to slow him down, not when she’s trying to keep herself from making any noise and risking the recording to override with their audio. He laps at her neck, plucking out her other earring to put it in his jacket pocket.

Akane panics, pulling away to cover his mouth with her hand.

“What are you doing?” she whispers, taken aback by his hungry gaze.

Kogami shrugs, licking inside her palm and making her twitch. He catches her hand, kissing it.

“Committing.”

Confused, Akane attempts to turn her head to the other couch but is once again stopped by Kogami, tucking her wrists behind her while he slips his tongue in her mouth. She closes her eyes, taken, powerless against his passion, his burning insistence. He is all over her, like a shroud, lording over the space like he owns it and wants to cage them in. Her heart beats fast, wave after wave, the music ringing in her ears with the sound of her catching her breath. She’s drowning again. This isn’t the time, or place.

He softens his grip, startling her, and releases her wrists as he reverts to laughing softly against her lips. The reason catches up quickly in her consciousness as the stern voice of the lady who gave her the drugs earlier cuts through the music.

“Excuse me sir, you are not allowed in this area!”

Kogami straightens, careful to take her with him when he rises to his feet. He holds her close, hand behind her head as he backs away slowly, blocking her from anyone’s view.

“Sorry.” She hears him say, offering no other explanation as he guides her back to the edge of the dance floor. He must have noticed how weak she feels, resisting very little as he pretends to lead them swaying to the tune of his own music.

“You alright?” He whispers over her ear, arms still firmly wrapped around her. He digs inside his pocket, hooking the earring back on and casting a quick glance at the couch where the two men are still in deep conversation. She nods, quiet, fingers shaking as she tucks her head under his chin and breathes. With nothing to go by to define what she feels, she trusts in the safety of his arms, the same arms that seem to keep pushing her into a bottomless pit.

“I have Usui.”

They freeze, Akane clutches at Kogami’s back, pressing against him as Shizuka’s voice speaks in her ears, as if he were holding her and not him, as if it’s his breath tickling the side of her cheek…

“He will cooperate under one condition: that business will not be disrupted tonight.

Everyone on the floor, please halt all activity immediately and make sure all ongoing data capture that risks being discovered is stopped right now. Do not start anything new, Usui will provide information on all the transactions tonight.”

“Clear,” Arata says. “So this ends our job, then? Should we stay?”

“I leave that to your discretion. No need to rendezvous with Ignatov and Ginoza, I will order them to go home.”

“Copy. Team, any questions?”

“No.”

“Negative,” Kogami smirks, nudging his cheek against Akane while drumming his fingers on her lower back.

“We’ll consolidate on Monday and corroborate our data with what Usui will give us. Good job, everyone, have a good weekend.”

***

“So uh… Did you know about… that?” Irie asks, scratching his goatee as they watch Kogami and Tsunemori from a distance. The bar behind them is still busy, lines continuously forming around them as miraculously, considering it’s well past two in the morning, people still manage to trickle in from the entrance. Standing at the edge of the dance floor, it would have been hard to pick out Kogami and Tsunemori had they not spotted them beforehand, making out like teenagers on the couch.

“I could ask the same of you.” Arata sighs, staring at the top hat that Irie just returned. “You really think we should be talking about this?”

“Don’t lie. Your eyes are shining.”

“Don’t call me out like that, Irie-san.”

“I mean, it’s right in front of us. Might as well.” He snorts, grabbing the hat from his hands and putting it over his head. “You look good.”

“Yeah?” Arata chuckles, taking it off and tipping it over his head with some assistance, on his tiptoes while Irie bows a little bit to catch it. “You look splendid.”

“Thank you!” Irie beams, nudging against his side. “You think he knows? Because I mean I had a feeling, you know… with all the electric air in the room recently.”

“A chemical spill over the shores of Tokyo bay level…”

“Was kinda rooting for them.”

“Them?” Arata uses his mouth to point at the dance floor.

“No,them them. I always knew he had a soft spot for her but he was extra soft when they became a thing…”

“Can’t pretend we don’t all have an inherent bias because he’s our boss, no.”

“Yeah and I always thought he was a bit more… human, around her.”

Arata stares intently, noting how Kogami used to be the first time he met him. The corners of his mouth lift, looking right at the answer, the common denominator for the two of them.

“Now he’s like a robot, isn’t he?”

“Who’s like a robot?”

“Ch-Chief!”

Shizuka smirks, hands in pockets as he stares curiously behind his silk mask.

Arata waves his arms wildly, trying to match the music while he scrambles his brain for a quick answer.

“Ah, Kei!”

“Ignatov is like a robot? How?”

Arata laughs nervously, pulling Irie down one step down into the dance floor so that he’s standing slightly in front of him like a shield, leaning over his shoulders and placing an open palm over his cheek. Irie goes along wordlessly, both of them facing Shizuka with far more enthusiasm than the situation called for.

“When he tries to hide the good news, I mean. He’s so obvious!”

Shizuka raises his brow at the seemingly unnecessary antic, though he doesn’t discount Irie and Arata’s propensity to be ridiculous, plus they’re quite close.

“I haven’t seen him recently to be able to judge. What’s going on, then?”

Irie, who isn’t privy to this information, is also baffled, though Arata appreciates how quick he is on the uptake and keeps his gaze forward and away from the dance floor. He’ll apologize to Kei in the morning.

“He’s… going to be a dad!”

***

Kogami pivots to face the couch, where Akane’s other earring and audio device is still recording the conversation between the two men. He looks down at her, unapologetically smiling at her dazed expression.

“So, do you think that earring’s going to compromise us?”

Akane shakes her head, trying to align herself to the present.

“I don’t know. Where did it land?”

“Right behind the butt of my guy. I hope he hasn’t sat on it.” He laughs, planting a kiss on her cheek as he continues to sway with the rhythm. No alcohol on a night when he probably should be drinking is making him far too drunk on her, and he can’t complain about the music if it means he can keep talking in her ear.

“Let’s just be on the lookout while they’re still discussing.”

Akane, who decided that her gaze needs to remain locked at the couch, is caught by surprise when the two men stand and shake hands.

“Too late.”

They were both under the impression that the talk would have been a lot longer, but the men are already heading towards the exit.

“Did they do anything before leaving? Did my guy hand anything to yours?”

“No. Just stood up and shook hands.”

Puzzled, they exchange glances before she presses down on her finger to make a call, following Kogami’s lead to bring them closer to the couches again.

“Hinakawa, was the recording captured?”

“Yes, Onee-chan. It just ended a few seconds ago.”

Kogami presses his ear against hers, listening in.

“The storage drive is uploading the copy to the cloud as we speak.”

“Great, thanks Hinakawa-kun! I guess that means we can call it a night.”

“You’re welcome. The rest of the team is also done.”

“Ok, have a good weekend.”

Kogami speaks up, startling her. “Thanks, Hinakawa.”

“Y-you’re welcome, Kogami-san.”

The call ends just in time for them to reach the inner section. She separates from him to find her earring untouched on the couch, picking it up and wearing it immediately. Her gaze lands on the couch adjacent, where they just made out a few minutes ago. Feeling flushed, she turns away with a sense of elation and dread. The night feels like a trip, and she’s not even drunk, nor has she touched the drug inside her pocket. Around her, the lighting takes on a bright yellow color, flickering with the beat, colors multiplying as the song progresses and lights up the floors and ceiling. She breathes a sigh of relief for the job done, chaos and all, and thinks, for the first time, that maybe she needs to leave alone.

***

Arata might have thrown Kei under the bus for nothing.

“Wow, a baby!” Irie is even more excited, turning to Arata with shining eyes.

“That’s wonderful news!” Shizuka laughs, glancing at the floor as the song changes, and a new DJ takes the stage. “I’m just not sure you should be the one sharing it!”

“Oh yeah, haha! I just can’t help it, y-you know?”

As the light changes, bathing them in bright yellow, their gazes collectively and inadvertently home in on the inner section, where Tsunemori had appeared from the crowd, bending down to pick up something on the couch. Arata casts a glance at Shizuka, whose gaze, soft and reverent, changes instantly when he realizes it’s Kogami who waits at the edge, hand outstretched.

***

“I’m a bit tired, Kogami-san.”

He doesn’t look convinced, but his gaze softens beneath the mask. “One last dance? Please?”

If anything, it’s his sheer honesty despite his masterful use of persuasion that has her unable to deny his request. There was a time when all he could do was plead, be sneaky, even, testing her.

It took so much from her to resist, and back then she always thought she wouldn’t break.

***

Kogami takes Tsunemori to the middle of the floor, embracing her unabashedly while she clings to him. Arata can’t stop what’s already happening; even Irie seems to be distracted as his plan falls apart right in front of his eyes, but he still opens his mouth to try.

“Of course maybe let’s keep it a secret until he reveals it himself. M-Maiko’s six weeks in, morning sickness and cravings and all, but Kei’s quite a champ, isn’t he?”

***

Kogami’s hand is warm; every step waking, eyes bright beneath the flashes of strobe lights, cutting across the crowd. He stops somewhere and opens his arms, catching her off guard as he embraces her, planting a soft kiss and swaying awkwardly while laughing.

“Ah, I wanted to do this without thinking about work.”

A surge of warmth overtakes all her worries, lifting the corners of her mouth as she tries to divert his steps to get him into the rhythm. It fails, dramatically so, but she immediately understands that it’s because the music is too fast for him. He certainly has more chances getting the beat right in an alternative rock concert than a club, but she can’t fault him for trying. The blurred images of the people surrounding them flicker in front of her eyes, neither caring whether or not they look stupid, or pitiful, or both, and she finds herself giggling, giving up the reins so he could swing her about whichever way he likes, resting her chin over his shoulder as he twirls them with dizzying speed.

That’s when she sees him.

***

Shizuka forces a smile, staring ahead with dejected eyes, as if speaking alone is causing him pain.

“That’s wonderful news, yes.”

Arata isn’t able to follow up; there’s nothing more to say now. He probably didn’t even realize he said the exact same thing, in a completely opposite tone.

Irie has remained speechless, holding Arata’s forearm like an anchor as they witness a quiet breaking of a man they both respect.

Shizuka hangs his head, digging his hands in his pockets before looking up again, contrasting the image of defeat versus a cool and unfeeling facade; works about just. The voice that escapes him, however, is not his best.

“I’ll take my leave. Be careful on your way home.”

“Thanks, b-boss!” Irie stutters, toppling his hat as he salutes awkwardly.

Arata catches it, separating from him to bow. “I’ll see you on Sunday, sir.”

Shizuka nods. He doesn’t chance another look, lest he risks crippling his heart any further on the way out.

***

Standing at the end of the floor, his silhouette is just as striking, unmistakable as if he is standing right in front of her. She can’t see his face, it’s too far, but she knows. The lights are bright enough over their heads, and after all, he had found her when she was alone in the middle of a crowd. Something collapses inside of her, even as she clings to Kogami like her life depended on it. He is kissing her ears, arms wrapped just as tight, strong.

He turns them, and the next time she sees the back of the floor, Shizuka is no longer there.

***

It doesn’t occur how much it affects her until the sound of Kogami’s laughter triggers the opposite. She’s biting down on her bottom lip, closing her eyes tight as the tears once again dampen the soft lace of her mask. She’s so confused, asking herself where this loneliness is coming from when she feels so light, so delicate, so cared for in Kogami’s arms?

He attempts a dip, catching them both by surprise; her with his sudden action, him with her teary eyes. The shock sits between them for a brief second; Kogami’s earlier playfulness is completely replaced with concern.

“What’s wrong?” He lifts her up, cradling her face in his hands. “Did I hurt you?”

Akane fiercely shakes her head, managing to give her a headache in the process. Halting her thoughts, hating herself for it, she holds his hands and brings them down to her chest, where her heart beats madly, overworked with emotions. What’s right in front of her is no less real than anything she’s greedily taken with her own hands, and maybe it doesn’t have to fall apart.

Not yet.

Akane reaches up, capturing his lips, desperate. Tears forgotten, she slips her tongue in his mouth, Kogami pulls her flush against him as he returns the kiss with as much passion. The crowd disappears, the music stops, and Akane has only one thing on her mind as she lets go, breathless.

“Take me home.”

***

Kogami kisses her crown, leading her out of the dance floor with a warm hand on her back. Akane presses against him with eyes closed, dizzy with exhaustion of a different kind.

“Miss, are you leaving?”

Akane opens her eyes, recognizing the lady and putting a hand on Kogami’s chest as a cue.

“Y-yes! I couldn’t find my girlfriend so…” Akane giggles, snuggling against Kogami while she fishes her pocket for the drug. “I didn’t try any.”

“Quite a shame, Miss. You would have behaved quite differently on the couch, if ever.” The lady takes the packet, winking. “You’re welcome to try again at our next party!”

Akane nervously smiles, thanking the lady as they head to the hallway of the outer section, briefly stopping while Kogami places a call to Arata.

“Yo, Inspector.”

“Kogami-san! Hello.”

“We’ll take our leave. I’ll take Tsunemori home.”

“Sure, thanks for letting us know. We’re probably leaving in a few minutes, too.”

“Okay. See you on Monday, then?”

***

Arata drops the call, staring at Irie as if they hadn’t already seen Kogami and Tsunemori make out again before leaving the dance floor.

“A bit much for one night, isn’t it?”

“For us? Yeah.” He shrugs and puts the hat back on his head. “Wanna dance, Mister Enforcer?”

Irie flashes a smile, bowing. “Don’t mind if I do.”

***

She tips her head upwards, inhaling deeply to take in the fresh air, savoring the mild chill and gentle breeze soothing her damp cheeks after leaving the warm spaces of Orion. The cloudy sky paints a contrasting picture above the only building that’s still alive at this hour, and around them, there are still some people trying to get in.

Silence is becoming her enemy. She can’t think beyond what she’s seen, what she’s felt.

Shizuka wants her back. He came tonight to make a statement, emerging victorious with getting Usui’s cooperation, planning around them then only announcing it to everyone once secured. Presumptuous as it may seem, it’s like he’s offering it at her feet, reminding her of what he’s capable of and what he’s willing to do. His words are clawing at her insides, a hypnotizing chant.

Of course… she never forgot.

***

They barely make it to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake. He pins her down, taking off her mask, still damp, to slowly kiss over her eyelids. She turns her head, sliding her hand to slip off his underwear, pulling him down so she can watch his hardness coat with her slick.

It’s breathless even before it begins, her insistence, this time, rolling her hips, coaxing him forward as their bodies meld in frenzied motions. It’s the only thing she knows now; him, in her, lost in their own song.

Kogami pins her wrists above her, flicking his tongue over her ears and trailing kisses down her jaw, only to pause when his eyes land on the bruise on her neck. It’s darker since he saw it last, and over it, the unmistakable shape of a bite.

“What’s this?” He asks, running a trembling thumb over it.

Akane takes the hand over her neck and sends his fingers to lay above where they’re joined.

“I’m here now,” she whispers, searching his gaze. “Won’t you have me?”

Kogami presses his forehead against hers, trying to compose himself even as he feels conflicted, with her words, and her heat, consuming, pushing him to combust.

He wants to catch her exhale, when her breath hitches, to say her name and have her hear it. Whatever she wants, whatever she wishes. He can only give, and give.

“I have you.”

“Then make me come.”

Akane recognizes what she’s awoken as he surges forward, his unrelenting power that takes her out of her own body, exposing them with all their weaknesses laid bare. She feels it, the tears coming, as fast as she is peaking, close as their bodies rise and fall, closer as their lips meet, and meet, and meet.

***

He collapses above her chest, clinging to her in the darkness. What little he saw, he tucks away, comforted by her fingers tickling his scalp, lightly humming the song on the radio that first night she gave herself to him. He’s not the kind who indulges in fantasies; she’s always been the one. Something has left them, something that might be irretrievable, and the dread creeps up on him like an impulse he can’t stop.

***

#volition #狡朱 #静朱 #shizuaka #kouaka

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 18:37:18

volition

previous chapters - XIII (ao3)

“Oh, look! Hinakawa sent us an app to fill out our specs.“

Kogami spits out the toothpaste froth in the sink. "Huh?”

“For tomorrow. We can request for special stuff, like preferred fabric or accessories so that it will be easier to print. I’m definitely going to ask for a secret pocket for this… “

Akane fluffs up the pillows, slipping beneath the covers so she can get comfortable. She already chose a backless, long-sleeved dress in black shimmery tulle, cinched at the waist, with a puffy skirt that stops just above her knee, and a matching lace filigree eye mask. It takes longer to choose her shoes, but she finally settles on bright red pumps with customizable insoles for her comfort, logging it in Hinakawa’s app. She then proceeds to browse through the selections for men.

“I think I found something that will look nice on you.”

“Wait a sec.”

“Okay but hurry up, Kogami-san. I’m sleepy.”

Kogami steps out from the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his neck, opening the closet and digging through the mess he made earlier to find a pair of underwear. Grateful for the gift of peripheral vision, she slowly turns his head to peek; it’s a pity his body is now partially blocked by the closet door, but she’s not one to waste away the opportunity afforded to look openly at his ass.

“I wouldn’t spend too much time on it,“ he says, slipping into his underwear and sweatpants.

He reappears in full view, roughly toweling his face dry; making Akane giggle as her gaze wanders over his chiseled arms and naked chest, lingering on the defined muscles of his abs and the v of his hips and on the center, where dark hair trails lower…

"Something on my face?” He asks, smirking.

Caught, Akane has a comeback ready despite the vibrant flush on her cheeks. “Clearly, given the way you seem to want to scrub your whole face off.”

He chuckles, heading back to the bathroom to hang his towel before walking around the other side of the bed, sitting with his back to her as he takes his phone from the nightstand. Akane’s gaze lingers on her creation; vivid red lines where her nails broke skin, litterred over his shoulder blades and back. Her curiosity sends her crawling forward, kneeling behind him to trace the marks.

“Does it hurt?”

Kogami looks back, brow raised. “As they say, ‘tis but a scratch.”

Akane huffs, scrutinizing one that seems to be coming from below his waistband. “Didn’t even realize it.”

The thought makes her pause, and not in the way she wanted; it would be a lie to say she’s never done it to someone else…

“No big deal,” Kogami turns, catching her by surprise. “Kinda flattered, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh god,” she rolls her eyes. “Shower first, he said. And I thought you were trying to be a gentleman.“

“Just trying to save water, Ma’am.”

“Are you really that short on funds?”

Kogami laughs, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her down the mattress, hovering above. “No, but I keep a good amount untouched,” he says, gaze lingering on the strap of her nightgown that slipped down her shoulder.

“Retiring soon?” she quips, giggling as he uses his teeth to slip the strap back up, trailing kisses over her shoulder before catching her lips. Akane smiles against his lips and pushes him away, recognizing the danger of indulging him at this hour.

“Stop trying to distract me. You need to pick something.” She props up on her elbows, forcing him back to sit so she can grab her phone. “Here. I chose some nice ones for you.”

“I really don’t have a preference, Akane. Just a suit should be fine. And whatever’s comfortable to wear as a mask—”

"Soft lace, then?”

“—that won’t look tacky on me.”

“Ooh, look at that. Someone’s at least a little bit concerned,” she teases, moving to her side of the bed to pat the seat next to her. “Come on, choose one and let’s sleep.”

Kogami follows suit, staring at the available options. “What color is your dress?”

“Black.”

“Great. All-black for me, then.”

“Come on, Kogami-san. Have a little fun!”

“I really don’t want to think about this any further, and if you decide to put me into something elaborate I’ll tell Hinakawa to disobey you.”

Akane tuts, smiling. “Bold of you to assume he’s going to choose you over me.”

He chuckles, sinking into the mattress and tossing the covers up and over them. “Worth a try. I know a great drug supplier in Dejima.”

“Hey!”

“Besides, why are you berating me for choosing all-black? You’re wearing black, too!”

“I’ll be wearing red shoes!”

“Fine then. Red tie, red pocket square. I thought you were sleepy? Fastest way to get this over with is just agree, right?”

He’s not wrong. She’s quite tired, and it’s not like he’s not partly to blame, but for someone who Shion said had his suits tailored way back when he was an inspector, his disinterest is mildly amusing. She logs his preferences in the app, liking what she sees in the preview.

***

He opens his eyes, exhaustion creeping up again as he raises his head from her soiled pillow. The mess he made on the sheets is only partially dry; he hadn’t slept for very long at all.

Yuzu is asleep in the living room and doesn’t wake when he walks past; Chiyo is docked in the charging port, partly active and waiting for instructions that don’t come. In an apartment so typical for him, every large room now is now an empty space, with walls closing in on him like a dressed prison. He keeps walking, half aware and letting his feet dictate where he stops.

His office looks as it did when he left; not a single thing out of place, as if he had just arrived, fighting the urge to pick at his wounds after seeing footage of her opening the door to him in the sleeping quarters during lunchtime. As if he hadn’t hesitated to use the tracking application he never needed Hinakawa’s help for, locating her en route to his apartment. As if he didn’t blindly pick up his phone to request for service. As if a Pleasant hadn’t gone down on him a few hours ago.

The spite that propelled his actions had all but dissipated, and having his need satisfied the way he did brings him back to how the night started; sipping whiskey at his desk, swiping up the screen to open the tracker like a drug— doing the same thing, still hoping for a different outcome.

The glass in his hand hits the wall, shattering into small pieces; he topples the bottles next, wetting the floor, staining the carpet, shards flying, breaking skin. Everything flashes like a blur; even the anguished cry scratching his throat as he unpends everything in sight, destroying anything he can get his hands on, splitting his wounds open and creating new ones until there is nothing, until he feels nothing, until he sees nothing.

Blue dot, next to her red, unmoving inside an apartment near Shibuya, blinking on the screen, mocking him.

This is his doing. This is his to mend.

***

“Good morning, everyone! We have some curious guests today.” Arata casts a glance at Kei and Mao, who had stopped by to check in on them.

“Good morning,” Akane greets them with a smile. “Everything going well at your end?”

“Yes. We heard you guys are going to a themed party. Kinda jealous…” Mao says, bowing at Akane as she walks past.

“Meanwhile, I’m glad we’re getting a slow day for our last day,” Kei responds, chuckling.

“Inspector, you’re acting like an old man.”

“I just want to be home earlier these days,” he replies with a dreamy smile that catches everyone’s attention; everyone who’s not Arata.

“Anyway, let’s go. I also have to brief the team. Good luck on your mission and call us if you need support.”

“Thanks, Kei. I will.”

Irie, Akane and Kogami exchange glances while Arata turns around, pulling up several screens in the middle of the room.

“Have a seat, or be comfortable. Kei will disclose it to everyone when it’s time. Maybe sooner than later, so don’t bother forcing it out of me.”

“I would never use force,” Irie says, offended. “Only gentle persuasion.”

Arata chuckles at that, blushing slightly when he faces them. Akane smiles, trusting that it can only be good news. Kogami meanwhile is distracted by the prototype of Irie’s tuxedo hanging on a rack in the corner.

“We have some things to discuss about the mission later, but before that I have Hinakawa on the line, hang on…”

The call is patched to the analyst’s office; Hinakawa appears on screen slightly flustered.

“Sorry for the sudden call, did we disturb you?”

“N-no. I was just finishing breakfast.”

“Oh okay, can we call you back, then?”

“No need, Inspector. I know why you’re calling.”

“Ah well, in that case, take it away, Hinakawa.”

Hinakawa nods wordlessly, pressing some buttons on his screen, sending the images to them.

“We’re deploying the same tools used during the mission at the Meridian. You’ll have microchip patches linked to audio devices, which can either be earrings, collar buttons, neckties or bow ties. Communicators can take the form of watches or bracelets. Same as before, you can select a pre-existing design that we can modify for the purpose, or create a new one if you’d like. We just want to make sure that whatever you choose will not leave your body for the whole evening.”

“Clear,” Arata replies, excited. “I wasn’t inside the hall so I never got to use those fancy gadgets.”

“If you can please submit within the hour so we have time to configure the specs, that would be great. We’ll call you once printing is done to do some tests.”

“Got it. Anything else?”

“Y-yes, and mostly for Kogami-san… As with all external, non-observational missions linked to this investigation, both Chief Shimotsuki and exceptionally, the Bureau Chief, have direct access to your lines and will have all overriding command if and when necessary. All the missions handled by Inspector Ignatov had not required their intervention so far. We just need to remind everyone before we deploy the tools for use.”

Kogami doesn’t concern himself with the protocols; this has been cleared from the beginning. He instead watches Akane from the corner of his eye, sipping coffee from his mug and almost burning his tongue. They haven’t seen or heard from Homura since he took her home, and since they’ve been together most of the time, he assumes she hasn’t spoken to him either.

Akane crosses her legs, already swiping through the options and logging her preferences in the app. His unease is quelled with the sight of her smile, even as he wonders if it’s only superficial.

“Done!” She says, leaning back in her chair. “That was easy! Thanks Hinakawa-kun!”

“Y-you’re welcome. I will wait for the rest of your responses and will contact you for testing. The clothes are being printed now and will be delivered upstairs. Irie-san yours is ready so please try them on and let us know if there’s any modifications needed.”

“Thanks, Hinakawa!”

Hinakawa drops the call, leaving them to browse in silence.

“I think I might need to change the top hat,“ Arata pouts, searching for other options, "I probably can’t keep that on for the rest of the night.”

“You can still have the top hat, just don’t put your audio device there,” Akane suggests, glancing at Kogami. “Have you picked yours?”

“Uh, about to,” he mumbles, reviewing the outfit they chose last night. He goes for the necktie and a watch, selecting them with a quick touch on his screen. Across him, Arata and Irie have also chosen theirs after consulting with each other.

“Now that’s out of the way, let’s start. As you already know, the last thing on our list is Orion, the biggest nightclub in Myogadani. Tsunemori-san will explain briefly their initial findings prior to this investigation, then we’ll talk about how we want to tackle this.”

Taken aback, Akane stares in confusion at Arata, who immediately backtracks with a scratch of his head.

“Ah, I mean. I was just thinking it would be nice if you talked about it since you worked on it before with the Chief… and of course you don’t have to, I mean these were all in the files we got in advance, we can just read through them again! Right?”

“Yeah, we can,” Kogami interjects, still watching Akane as he lights a cigarette. He admits he only scanned through the documents, but it’s not like he can’t read it again in no time…

“No, it’s not a problem, I was just caught by surprise,” she mutters, adjusting in her seat, "of course I can talk about it.”

Arata’s face lights up, grabbing a chair so he can sit in front of her. “Do you want me to flash the contents of the report on the screen?”

“That won’t be necessary,” she says, smiling. “As you may have read, Orion was established by a former business executive named Usui. He was suffering from psycho-pass deterioration, and frequented Myogadani in search of an alternative medicine. During his visits he found a far more interesting environment than what he knew to be the ideal, devoid of the shackles of society that was limiting his movements and causing him mental stress. He realized quickly that recovery was futile, and instead of seeking help in the city, he decided on a whim to take all his savings to Myogadani and move there permanently.”

“Orion wasn’t his first business. He started there trying to make an honest living by setting up a middleman service to connect Myogadani to the rest of Tokyo and beyond, but back then the blocks were rampant with gangs, and his lack of experience got him in trouble.”

“You can’t just set up shop anywhere in the blocks,” Irie says.

Akane nods. “Correct. Still stands today, albeit the enforcement is less violent than before. Usui had quite a few run-ins with the gangs at the time, eventually joining one and even rising the ranks thanks to his business acumen. He eventually amassed enough power and influence to take over another gang’s headquarters, where he established Orion, and retired.”

“Retired,” Arata uses his fingers to gesture air quotes, wiggling his brows.

“The irony is that it’s the exact same business as he had set up before, only with a more glamorous and even profitable facade, and of course with the added bonus of better security thanks to his connections with the gang.“

“To those who do not come there for business, it’s just a nightclub. Orion’s regulars are rich people from Tokyo who have decided it’s exclusive enough to the point of danger, and a few block residents with deep pockets. It’s an ever-growing clientele, but the biggest money still comes from the deals that are closed within those walls between representatives of gangs and businesses inside and outside of Myogadani— legal or not— while the party goes on in the background.”

“For the past few years it’s literally been the only place you can go to do business with anyone in Myogadani,” Irie adds, twirling a pen in his hand. “If you try to bypass this the gangs will come after you and charge you with a heavy tax.”

“Per se, wouldn’t dealing with businesses inside the blocks result in a rise in psycho-pass? How are there seemingly no immediate repercussions for those who are from outside Myogadani?” Kogami comments, standing up pace around the room.

“That’s two-fold. You have the rich clientele, who can easily afford mental care of the highest caliber; the party itself is even considered a therapy of sorts. As a high-end establishment, in terms of appearance, Orion isn’t so different from any fancy street in Omotesando or Roppongi.”

“I remember the gangs would block the streets leading to Orion,” Irie sneers. “But they stop traffic both ways, to maintain their image, because god forbid rich people see ordinary people in ordinary settings, huh?”

“True. Orion closes off at least a block on each side of the building, which is quite a feat considering it’s in Myogadani. I can imagine he was really powerful during his time in the gang and still has a lot of backing to this day,” Arata says, pulling up a map of the building on the screen.

“And what about those who aren’t there to party?” Kogami asks, staring at Akane.

“With mostly shady business deals, pretty sure the methods are just as,” Irie comments with a disgusted look.

“Well you’re not wrong,” Akane comments. “First of all, the location dictates the legality of the transaction, which, technically speaking, is out of Sibyl scope. Theoretically, this means whoever comes to the blocks is immediately exposed to potential psycho-pass deterioration, and will not come out unscathed, which would have been an issue because deals are deals, and technically it’s in the best interests of both parties that these deals are executed.”

“There’s been plenty of rumors about businesses finding a way around it, of course not without sacrificing innocent people in the process. One example is companies using several representatives who are not really aware of the full picture; they just go to Orion to get information and return the same to their companies. In a way this shields higher-ranked employees from the risk of an increased psycho-pass, and in case the representative gets caught by law enforcement once they return to Sibyl jurisdiction then these companies can easily wash their hands clean of any involvement.”

Arata nods. “The psycho-hazard for these representatives are also quite high. They might come out of Myogadani with just information, but knowing where they came from and who they dealt with almost always means their hues can become clouded the moment they come back to the city. Of course they thought about this too, forcing the representatives to take strategic paths to avoid detection by street scanners, sometimes having them be picked up and dropped off using specific routes to ensure they’re not flagged.”

“Indeed. Another more rampant practice is to drug the representative before and after the deal has been signed, so they have no recollection of the event, but will return to the company an encrypted but enforceable contract. This temporarily mitigates the risk, but only up to the point that the representative continues to be unaware.”

“If they’re dealing in the billions upward then an employee’s mental health is a small price to pay,” says Kogami, ticked.

“Yes. And of course all this happens in Orion, including the sale of the drugs. Usui gets a cut from everything sold under his roof.”

“No confirmed reports, though?”

“Of course. It’s just about what you can expect for an establishment not under Sibyl jurisdiction. Shizuka—”Akane gasps, catching herself. Instantly, her mind is flooded with memories of that moment; their first fight, if that could even be called one. The fiery determination in his eyes, adamant in changing her mind, against her tenacity on things she deemed non-negotiable; a stalemate that only ended when they decided they couldn’t resist each other despite their disagreements.

She swallows, shaking her head.

“He wanted to pretend to represent his father’s company and strike a deal to confirm if the reports were indeed true…”

A tense silence fills the room at the sound of the Bureau Chief’s name. Arata is no stranger to their relationship, nor does he think Irie is ignorant. Kogami, however…

“And?”

Akane shrugged, schooling her expression before turning to Kogami to say, “I refused.”

She makes no indication of elaborating further, even as Kogami searches her gaze. Looking away, she realizes it’s the first time she’s said his name out loud since that night; the first time she’s openly acknowledged, albeit by accident, some slither of thought of him sitting unconsciously at the back of her mind, unleashing a barrage of memories and thoughts she only recently seems to revisit in dreams.

"That’s mostly the gist of it,” she says, brushing off the troubling weight of the ache stirring in her chest. “What we did back then was off the record, so we couldn’t use the CID’s resources to take our investigation further.”

Arata worries at the play of emotions on her face. It doesn’t take much deduction to figure out there’s something going on; her abrupt absence in the Bureau Chief’s office being the most glaring. Meanwhile, in the times he’d seen him, the Bureau Chief had regressed into a robotic, half-functioning shell of himself, and with the way Kogami is hanging onto Tsunemori’s every word, it’s clear that he is also involved.

But it’s not his job to pry into their affairs. He can tell it will be a bit of a mess, but it often is, when people do what people do. Alas, the work continues.

“Thanks for the brief, Tsunemori-san. I really appreciate it.“

“You’re welcome.”

Arata stands in the middle of the room, pulling up the blueprints of Orion on the screen.

"Our teams came together as a result of this hard work, and this is what it’s come to. We’ve branched out into different activities this week, the bulk of which was handled by Kei’s team, who seized sites of illegal and questionable nature, arrested existing members of the gangs and their leaders, pretty much stomping out most of the rampant criminal activity that existed in the blocks. Orion is the last place still standing, so to speak. In theory, business should be the opposite of booming for Usui, and that’s what we’re going to confirm tonight.”

“So we’re going with the assumption that Usui was just tolerating these activities in his establishment?” Irie asks, betrayed.

“Only to the extent of getting his cooperation. For sure he’s not unaware of what’s transpired the whole week, but for us the priority should be to get him to give himself up knowing we’re on him and will eventually back him into a corner. He can always choose to make it difficult. Or at least that’s what I’m thinking…” Akane reasons, leaning forward on her chair.

“That's… about the same thing as what the Bureau Chief said,” Arata chuckles nervously, awkward at having to bring him up again considering how shaken she seems to be, but to be fair they’re not the only ones who thought the same.

It’s Kogami who visibly reacts, setting his jaw as he snuffs his cigarette on the ashtray and breaking it to pieces between his fingers and thumb. He separates himself, finding a spot on the wall to stand against.

“Doors open at midnight, and usually the floor gets packed really fast. Dealings are rumored to happen between half past twelve and three. We’ll take advantage of this time to scour the area for these kinds of activities.”

Irie stands, looking closer at the blueprint. “Just one floor?”

“Well, we’re not conducting a raid, so yes, but we’ll have our hands full. The dance floor is bordered by what is called the inner section, where private tables go for over a million each,” Arata presses a button to highlight the area on the blueprint, flashing photos of each with their own large leather couch and table, some even have dancing poles or their own mini stage. “For twice the price, the soundproofed private rooms are a separate section outside the main floor.”

“I’m assuming these are booked in advance?” Kogami asks, flicking his wrist to browse the case files on his holo screen.

“Way ahead of you,” Arata says, pulling up a list of names. “Hinakawa got us this list, and yesterday, Kei’s team cross-checked with those they already arrested.”

He presses a button, highlighting almost all the names. “As you can see, even if most groups were arrested, none have canceled their reservations, which leads us to think that they’re still going through with it but with other low-ranked members we haven’t arrested yet, or they’re not going to show and the company representatives do not know any better. There’s also a possibility that some random folks are trying to take their place.”

“Either way it will give us more leads,” Kogami says. “And what about the chances it will go bad for us?”

Akane stares pensively at the screen, acknowledging his point. “One thing we got going for is that Orion doesn’t have a history of violence. It’s protected by gangs, yes, but it’s recognized as a place to do business safely, especially after Usui took over.”

“Slightly contradicting, isn’t it? After what you had just said about their methods, I mean.”

“A little, yes,” Akane smiles at Irie. “It’s safety with a caveat, but there have been no reports of deaths or violent disturbances during its history, and that’s saying something for a club operating in the abolition blocks.”

“I’m sure the nightclubs in Tokyo would love to know the secret to its success,” Arata jests, casting a glance at Kogami.

“You have concerns.”

“I do.” Kogami broods, leaning back against the wall. “Are we to assume there are no firearms on site?”

“It’s true that we have no assurance that there are none, but as a given, not even the gang members who are supposed to guard Orion are allowed to bring their weapons in so we won’t be armed either. It will compromise our mission if we can’t even get past the front door.”

“But we’re also fully exposed to whatever’s in there that could actually hurt us.”

“True,“ Arata nods. "In theory, we should be pretty much safe.”

“The complete opposite of which will result in us being sitting ducks, not to mention the possibility of endangering others. Not that I’m all for protecting the privileged but they have nothing to do with this, so is that a risk we’re willing to take?”

“It should be,” Akane says. “Not because we lack control over it, but rather because there’s enough precedent for us to believe this is not going to be any different.”

“But this isdifferent, right?” Kogami presses. “The events that transpired the whole week would have raised enough red flags for them, this should be the least likely of times to think we should expect them to operate as-is.”

“Fair point, Kogami.”

Homura’s voice rings through the room’s comm-speaker, in a tone that would rival the most basic AI voice. Where Kogami is standing, he can’t see Akane’s face, though it doesn’t take much to notice her freezing up at the sound.

A video appears on the screen, showing Shimotsuki sitting behind her desk with her arms crossed; Homura meanwhile, keeps his video turned off. The timestamps reveal they’ve been connected to the room ever since Arata began his brief.

“I see you forgot to mention that we’re listening in,” Shimotsuki says, exasperated.

“Ah!” Arata scratches his cheek this time. “Yeah… about that. I think we all kinda forgot, right?”

The awkward silence that he gets as a response is quite telling, though Kogami isn’t sure the question was for him.

“I knew it, and now I feel less guilty!” Arata chuckles. “But maybe for you, Kogami-san, aligned with their rights to overriding command of the mission, Chief Shimotsuki and the Bureau Chief always listens in on briefings, too. It’s mostly for checking if we need to deploy extra resources or reel in the team for security purposes.”

“This is not uncommon for the CID, but our lack of intervention so far just goes to show how little input you really need. Well?” Shimotsuki pauses, staring at another screen in front of her, maybe one that has Homura’s video on. “I still think you and senpai can best judge this.”

There’s a pause, punctuated by the growing, yet unspoken tension that Homura’s presence, albeit not physical, is affecting Akane despite her attempts to hide it. Kogami at least appreciates Shimotsuki ignoring it, even if he can’t.

“Asking the question differently,” Homura speaks slowly, droning above the steady tapping of his fingers, like a metronome. “What could we have missed that will give us reason to believe that our assumptions are sufficient?”

“Ground intel— the latest,” Akane blurts out, coming to life with a flick of her wrist, fingers swiping quickly over lists and names on the screen. “The gangs don’t operate in secret in the blocks. They’re ever-present, and this kind of unrest is something out in the open no matter how well or how badly they’re being managed. We need to get a pulse on the neighborhood as it is now.”

She flashes a number of photos on the screen, adding more and more as fast as her fingers would allow. “These contacts are reliable sources in our network. I’m sure I can find one that can give me intel on Orion.”

“I’d like you to ascertain what alternatives are available without the use of arms, and how much risk that poses to your team and anyone else inside the vicinity. You can all defend yourselves but you will be dispersed on a large floor with a huge crowd.”

“Clear. I’ll factor that in my risk assessment and have Arata plan around it.”

“Good. Then I trust that you can manage this among yourselves and let us know if extra support is needed.”

The slight uplift in his tone mirrors her flash of enthusiasm; Kogami can only stand and observe the way Akane dives into focus, despite her earlier distress, despite still having the same person who caused it on the line, waiting for her response. It’s professional, and no less than what should be expected of her, and yet the two are synchronizing right in front of his eyes, like puzzle pieces that perfectly fit, and he is forced to swallow a bitter pill.

Akane nods, pausing to stare at the blank screen where Homura’s name is flashed in white letters, as if she knows he can see her across the line, and that there is no need to speak further.

But he does, saying thank you reverently, half a whisper, as if they are speaking alone and no one else is listening in. Kogami burns silently in a corner, consumed with jealousy. This, he wants, and he ought to believe he has, but he knows, deep down… one look is all it takes to know he doesn’t.

“Arata, please make use of Kogami’s tactical experience to ensure you don’t miss anything while planning. I would be comforted if you can provide an air-tight exit strategy before you prepare to leave tonight.”

“Will do!”

“Shimotsuki, anything else?”

“I am not against having a team on standby no matter what the result of the assessment is, but I believe senpai knows best so I’ll decide based on her recommendations.”

“Then we’re aligned. Thank you, everyone. Good job.”

There’s a beep in the line, disconnecting Homura from the call.

“I’ll be present for the final brief,” Shimotsuki says, leaning forward. “I want impeccable planning, Arata. It would be good to learn from Kogami, too.”

“Thanks, Chief. I’m in good hands,” Arata says, smiling at Kogami, who isn’t fast enough to fix the scowl on his face.

Shimotsuki drops the call, leaving the room in brief silence while they take stock of what needs to be done. Akane doesn’t waste time, facing Irie while she continues going through the names on her list.

“Your contact in Akihabara, can we get in touch with them, too?”

“Absolutely. Want to split? I can take our contacts there.”

“Sounds good. We stick to calls, then?”

“Roger!”

“Thanks, Irie.” She stands abruptly, as if suddenly remembering something. “I’m— I’ll be back.“

She walks straight to the door while looking a little lost; it urges Kogami to follow, leaving Arata mid-sentence with a reassuring wave of his hand.

"Give me a sec.”

***

He catches her in front of the elevators, staring at the panel and looking just as shaken as she was during the first moments she heard Homura’s voice over the call.

“Where are you going?”

Akane looks at him with a weary gaze, but manages to smile. “I need a bit of air.”

“Do you want me to join you?”

She shakes her head. “Go help out Arata. I’ll be back soon.”

The elevator doors open with the sound of the bell, prompting her to step inside. She presses the button to close the doors, looking ahead and not really seeing anything except the blurred silhouette of Kogami’s back, walking away.

***

The elevator takes her to the top floor, belatedly making her realize that she unconsciously pressed it by mistake, and wasn’t even paying attention on the ride up. Though she is able to step out, it takes a greater deal of effort to keep walking forward.

There was a time when she spent more hours here than she would have any other room in this whole building. It’s hard to believe it took so little to snatch away that reality, or that it happened not even three days ago. Her world is shifting, fast and unstoppable, and yet even she doesn’t know what the excuse is for standing right in front of his office door.

The sensors detect her presence, opening as it would to any other visitor. At the end of the large room she was expecting to see the typical view of him, sitting behind his desk, staring pensively at the multiple screens in front of him, brows creased, hands clasped beneath his chin, a million thoughts running through his head.

Until he notices her presence, which is easy enough on a good day, and unapologetically turns off all distractions in front of his eyes so he can watch her cross the space between, taking her in as she draws ever closer, waiting for her to skip the invisible border between the front of his desk and the seat behind, where his hand awaits to take hers…

The office is empty.

The screens are off, his chair is not tucked beneath the desk but faces to the left, an unfinished cup of espresso sits on the edge of the table; he was here, though she’s not sure if it was this morning or yesterday. Her gaze darts to the side room where he keeps his coffee, then to the side entrance where they’ve passed through many times, not knowing what will happen if he suddenly appears behind it.

Akane shakes her head, convinced that she came here in a trance, and steps backwards until her feet hit the side of the couch, making her gasp. Her heart is racing; she’s relieved and disappointed in a way she can’t quite explain. His presence here has since erased all the less than pleasant moments that honed her mind and shielded her heart from years ago; what had been a constant battle that eased as time went by, with Sibyl, replaced with a man she thought of as a partner.

With a heavy heart, she heads back to the doors, wishing she doesn’t meet him on her way back down.

***

Her dress arrives last, and she heads down the break rooms and reserves one for herself. It’s possible there won’t be time to do anything else tonight except get a nap in, and it will be useful when she has to prepare anyway.

The dress fits perfectly; she loves the fabric, how the fabric glistens when light hits, how the skirt fans out from her waist, and a secret pocket, just as she requested, brings a big smile on her face. The inner lining is soft and comfortable, and the platform pumps are as red as she wanted. The mask is beautifully detailed, but barely noticeable with its thin fabric; it’s amazing to think they managed to incorporate a video recording device in it. Satisfied, she leaves the dress and her shoes in the room after checking the contents of her makeup bag to see if she has everything needed for tonight.

She returns upstairs to find Irie and Arata taking selfies with their masks. Kogami is standing in front of the screens, blowing smoke at the blueprints.

“You’ll burn a hole through the holo,” she teases, half sitting on the desk facing him.

Kogami smirks. “How was the dress?”

“You’ll see,” she murmurs, only for his ears. “And yours?”

“Surprisingly perfect. If we went to more undercover missions I’d say we should probably get ourselves a printer, too.”

“And the mask?”

“Same.You’ll see.” He winks, making her smile. “We’ve got time to kill, right?”

“I’m planning on using that to sleep.”

Kogami steps closer, mirroring her posture. “Let’s have dinner somewhere.”

“I’m not that hungry… but what’s your idea?”

“Any preferences? Other than a light meal?”

Akane cups her chin, contemplating. “Some donburi, maybe? There’s a really good one three blocks down.”

“Anything you like. I just want to step out of here for a little bit.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that.” She gazes at him with curiosity, and he hates that they’re not alone in the room.

“Surprised you’re not feeling the same way. You’ve been like a machine since this morning.”

Laughter bubbles out of her, relieved to know she can still laugh about it even if it’s the truth. “Are you sure it’s not just you who can’t keep up?”

Kogami chuckles, smoke seeping through his lips as he snuffs out his cigarette on the ashtray.

“You sure about that?” He challenges, knowing full well his double entendre landed the moment their gazes meet; her unassuming innocence versus his own, fiery and passionate.

Akane snorts, elbowing his side. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” he says, shrugging, voice dropping low. “I can’t wait to see you in that dress.”

Akane sighs, rolling her eyes. She heads back to the commotion in the middle of the room, volunteering to help with Irie and Arata, who were struggling to hold their phone as their poses become more ambitious, but not before he catches a glimpse of the flush on her cheeks.

***

“I think I lack a bit of experience here but can someone explain to me why there doesn’t seem to be any unrest after everything that went down this week?” Kogami asks, turning his head to the side to blow the smoke from his lips.

“Well, it’s two things. These days, gang leaders and gangs aren’t as antagonistic as what people imagine them to be. It’s true that it’s not one hundred percent free of violence, but the common notion of the blocks being overrun with the worst of crimes has been outdated for a few years now. Gang activity actually helped maintain order in the blocks, and because it was a two-way street, residents had learned to work alongside them and even respect them in their own way. For residents, it was about knowing your limits and sticking to your lane, even though you don’t necessarily condone the gang’s illegal activities. It’s self-preservation but it’s also a two way street,” Akane explains.

Irie nods, continuing. “The gangs need the people, no matter what. They can’t run a smooth operation without manpower, and it’s not like their predecessors succeeded in forcing people to do their bidding. It’s only the lowest of lows who resort to human trafficking and extortion, and those activities are usually unknown to most of the residents. A greater number of businesses are deemed illegal by law but are not necessarily evil, that factory in Myogadani was the best example of it.”

“Dealing high-risk, operating low-risk,” Kogami echoes the words Akane once told him. “I guess that contrasts with the community in Dejima, where there’s probably a lot more legality in play.”

“Also because of the presence of the MFA,” Akane comments. “The abolition blocks, what was then and partially what it is now, is Sibyl’s creation, but it’s grown and is still growing to a point that it can no longer be ignored. What’s more, Sibyl can’t afford to have a thriving neighborhood alongside society, so within reach and is contrary to the ideals they’re preaching.”

“Someone like Irie is also being made an example, add to that his steadily improving psycho-pass,” Arata adds. “Even if his intentions when he joined the CID were very different, it’s not a far cry to think that their objectives might converge.”

“Why do I have a feeling I know where this investigation is going?”

“You’re probably right, whatever you’re thinking,” Akane leans back with a smile. “You can already tell the way we structured the investigation was to separate those guilty by association to the root cause. so the arrests made this week were limited to the upper echelon of the gangs currently operating. I think we can all deduce from here what the ultimate plan will be.”

“But was it something that you were privy to when you started all this?” Kogami stubs out his cigarette on this ashtray, walking towards them to take the seat next to Akane.

“I had enough information to come to the conclusion that this was what we would ultimately be working towards. Never had confirmation, though. I think it’s because it wasn’t his call, but Sibyl’s.”

“I have a meeting with the Bureau Chief during the weekend to discuss it, too,” Arata says. “I’m not sure I can disclose it yet.”

“It’s only a few days until Monday, Arata. Don’t worry about it,” Akane says. “In any case, we’ve got a call coming up, right?”

“Yes, thanks for the reminder! Let me get Chief Shimotsuki on the line.”

The call is answered in a couple of rings, with Shimotsuki only half-staring at the screen. They vaguely hear Kei and Ginoza on the other line before their footsteps echo through the line. Arata takes it as his cue to start.

“Well then, first of all I hope you had a nice dinner. I decided to do this sooner so I can get Chief Shimotsuki off the hook for a few hours.”

“Not necessary, but I appreciate the gesture,” Shimotsuki manages to smile, now finally giving them all her attention.

“Aw, Chief. You can take a break, you know?” Irie teases. “Maybe you can join the party, too?”

“No thanks, I’ll likely be in bed by that time.”

“On a Friday night?”

“Yes, Irie. So what’s the plan?”

Arata once again flashes the blueprints on the screen. “Pretty straightforward. We just got wind of what’s going on in the blocks, and it’s just as we had predicted. Based on Tsunemori-san’s risk assessment, we’re looking at mostly surveillance and information gathering tonight. Our objective is to collect leads that will connect us outwards, back to the jurisdiction of Sibyl, so that we can identify which businesses are dealing with the blocks and what they’re actually doing.”

He presses a button, dividing the floor into four. “Based on the reservations, there will be a total of eight booked slots for the inner section, and ten for the outer section. As mentioned previously, we expect most of these to be devoid of activity given we’ve rounded up the gangs who had these places reserved. We’ll split the team into two; Irie and Tsunemori-san taking care of the inner sections while Kogami-san and I will focus on the private rooms. Now of course we’re not going to underestimate the chances of deals happening on the dance floor, so we’ll allot some time for everyone to come in and sweep the area together.”

“Based on our insider’s reports, there are no firearms allowed in the building, and this was confirmed by four out of five contacts in Orion, two of which have bigger roles in the security of the establishment and one is a reliable contact who is connected with the arms dealers in Myogadani. They will also be there to assist us if necessary. Combined with the intel we’ve gathered on the ground, we’ve determined this to be a low-risk scenario. As such, we’re seeking approval for Level 2 equipment,” Akane says.

“Granted. Sorry for doing this before speaking to you, but I already assigned Ignatov and Ginoza to back you up. They will have access to Level 3 firearms, but they will be completely out of your way unless you report a Code 108.”

“No objections on our side. So just a quick run-through, Irie and Tsunemori-san will share a car. Irie drops off Tsunemori-san and will park his car in the designated spot we chose. Kogami-san and I will do the same. As agreed, we want to avoid engaging directly with these people, or else be forgettable should we decide to converse with them. Find a way to get a hold of critical information.”

Arata stares at Akane, who continues.

“Company name and representative, plus the nature of the business transaction; amounts are irrelevant. One thing to be cautious about is that we don’t know which of these meetings will proceed as planned, so just keep an eye out and be flexible when something different from the expected happens.”

Kogami nods, so does Irie.

“Our devices are equipped to record and identify when necessary, so make use of those features. We have limited recording capacity for the video capturing devices on our masks due to the size and the need to make it undetectable, so choose wisely when you turn it on. Audio will be our data capturing of choice.”

“I see that you’ve completed device testing already,” Shimotsuki adds, swiping through her screen, “but be sure to check one more time before you leave tonight. Hinakawa will be supporting you from here while you’re on the ground.”

“Clear. We expect to be done within a couple of hours, three at max. We’ll leave as we came, that is, separately but paired. Rendezvous point is where Kei and Ginoza-san are waiting for us, two blocks west of Orion. For this purpose, we’ll switch. Tsunemori-san will leave first, Kogami to follow, then myself and Irie. We’ll reloop for a few minutes, then we can go home after.”

Arata bows his head at Irie. “Irie-san, please take care of me.”

“Gladly,” Irie winks, tapping his chest. “I’ll get you home safely.”

“Good,” Shimotsuki’s voice resounds with finality over the line. “You have a few hours, so I suggest you get some rest beforehand. I’ll talk to you again later.”

“Thanks, Chief!”

***

"It’s me.”

“And?”

“N-nothing.”

She’s in the middle of putting mascara on, amused with his sudden lack of objection to her refusal to open the door.

“I can wait here.”

His voice, though a little dejected, pulls a giggle out of her. From what she can see in the video feed, he looks pretty sharp, but she holds back her curiosity for a moment, finishing her lashes before granting his request.

“Better not sulk,” she says, biting back her words after doing a double-take when he steps inside.

The appreciation is mutual; Akane unable to stop her gaze traveling over him, the suit sitting so snugly over his body, rounding his shoulders like a perfect glove. She notices he’s pocketed the mask, with its dainty strings hanging on his side like loose threads. Meanwhile, Kogami does the same, slowing down in his approach and taking in every little detail that the dress accentuates; her small waist, her gentle curves, the skirt spread over her hips; dark, sparkled fabric that reflects when it hits the light, like stars in the night sky.

“Look at you,” she says, smiling.

“Speak for yourself!” He chuckles, despite not wanting to have anything in common with Homura, he immediately understands how much a tall order resisting Akane truly is when she’s within reach and dressed so elegantly. When she turns away, exposing her open back, he feels his knees go weak, impulsively stepping forward to touch her.

“Ah!”

He pulls her against him, catching her lips, open palm smoothing the dip of her spine, deep line in the middle of her back. She settles against his kiss, hands planted on his chest, breath hot, exhaling over his mouth.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he whispers, kissing her again, his other hand bunching the fabric, fondling her ass.

“Hey!” She giggles, gently pushing him away. Placing a hand over his mouth, she steps back to take him in; crisp suit, styled hair, fresh cologne. A smile and a gaze, ready to devour, too handsome for his own good.

“You’re not so bad, either. Now let me go, I need to put lipstick on.”

“You can’t, I don’t want to stop kissing you,” he begs, resorting to licking the column of her neck. If he had a choice in the matter there would have been no hesitation on what he wants to do next.

“You’ve already found a way around that,” she whines, tilting her chin up to give into his whims. “Come on.”

Her serious tone has him withdrawing, though he keeps his arms around her, like crawling vines, his warmth seeping through the thin fabric.

“I’ll be good. What do you want me to do?”

“Stay put.”

“Okay.”

He stands behind, holding her in front of the mirror. Their reflection makes her pause for a moment, their image a glimpse of a recent memory that has her faltering as she reaches for the lipstick in her makeup bag, slipping from her fingers to roll across the floor.

She was happy then, too.

“I got it,” Akane says, beating him to it just so she can look away. Her fingers shake, clutching the lipstick in her hand. Deep wine red, a shade he loves to lick off her lips, smearing tint over tongue and teeth. Standing upright, she feels betrayed by her own emotions, trapped in a steady stream of her undoing as she uncaps it, and is once again reminded of the countless times she’s been complimented while wearing the color.

With a quick fix of her features, she bravely focuses, steady as she paints herself under Kogami’s watchful eyes, his mischievous smile, tainting her memories anew. Entranced, he is seduced with each pucker of her lips, deep wine red, distracting himself as he swirls a thumb above her belly button, distracting her from the storm she’s trying to hide.

“You alright?”

Heseesher. The disarray beneath the facade, the confusion beneath the rationale, the weakness beneath the strength. Akane is pushing away something she doesn’t understand, because he’s pulling her in, taking her apart, till she’s reduced to the visceral, the barest of instincts.

“Yeah.” She manages a smile, happy that it isn’t fake, unsatisfied that it doesn’t come with her whole heart. Akane reaches up to touch his cheek with the back of her hand, closing her eyes and resigns to being held.

“Want me to put your mask on?” she offers, sensing his lips at the back of her hand.

“Yes, please.”

***

Plunged into semi-darkness, the neon lights flicker across the walls, matching with the steady beat and sweeping synth, creating a path to the dance floor. Passing by the hallways that lead to the outer sections, and finally stepping into the main floor, the blueprints don’t quite do the same amount of justice to Orion’s interiors. The seated sections are large, lavish, and still empty, cordoned with stanchions and velvet ropes, each decorated with a fancy theme of its own. Up above, several disco balls and chandeliers hang, adding to the lights that blend with the music, while the smoke machines above and below give an illusion of being sandwiched by clouds.

Looking around the growing crowd, she realizes if not for their tracking devices it’s an obvious stretch to expect them to be able to find each other here. With everyone wearing masks of different types, colors, shapes and sizes, there’s very little to reveal, and for sure there’s no way she can tell where her team is among the sea of people, unless they’re standing right in front of her. It makes her wonder if anonymity is commonplace here, just like what they’ve seen in Pleasure Island.

Her eyes scan the area for safety cameras, finding none. Either they really don’t have any or it’s hidden well enough to give the clients a sense of security. She’s not convinced, of course, since there’s no way for Usui to confirm the sales under his roof if he has no record of it.

"This is Shepherd 2. The whole team is deployed on the floor, let’s blend in for now. I don’t see any activity in the area I’m assigned to.”

“This is Fox 1, copy. Checking for surveillance equipment in the meantime, none visible.”

“Hound 3 here, got some activity on mine. Will record and report.”

“Copy, this is Kogami—I mean, Maverick 1. Who the fuck gave me this call sign—”

“I did, just for fun since you can’t use the famous Hound 3 anymore!”

“I’m honored to inherit such a revered name, even if we hardly use it,” Irie declares.

“It’s been a while since. Seems like Ara—Shepherd 2 is enjoying it. Let’s get to work.”

“Roger!”

Akane giggles, switching off her radio to focus on her own task. With the music booming in her ears, she appreciates the noise-canceling a lot more than when she last used the ear patches. In just a span of a few minutes, the floor has been completely filled. There are places where most people congregate, like the area close to the bars. The rest are dispersed across the floor, though she needs to stand at the very end of the floor with the elevated platform to get a full view. She slips in and out of the crowd, dodging anyone trying to flirt and giving a few trailing fingers a warning bend in their attempts to cop a feel, all the while finding a spot in front of each reserved table for her to loiter when the time comes.

On her side, there are two bars at each end, with a dedicated section to serve the seated areas. The same bars are on the opposite side, and another bar at the end of the floor, which Irie volunteered to take responsibility for. She decides to fall in line, pressing her record button to get an ear on what others are talking about.

She discovers the existence of what people call cheats, which are code names for psychedelics and other drugs. Apparently they’re not available in the bar, but can be requested through the bar, and will be handed over personally by a staff member. Her eyes wander, checking to see if there’s someone who made an attempt, though she figures it’s something she might have to do herself.

Akane pulls out her phone, pretending to make a call as she presses her finger to speed-dial Hinakawa.

“Y-yes, Onee-chan.”

“Hi sweetie, yes. I’ve been in line for a bit, heard they had your favorite here but I can’t remember what it’s called and I don’t want to waste the bartender’s time… You know, the special one that’s not on the menu?”

There’s a short silence, before he clears his throat. “It’s been confirmed that the typical names are not the same in Orion. But I know of one.”

“Let me have it, I’ll get you fixed for tonight.”

“It’s called Whistle. I can’t confirm which drug this refers to, though.”

“That’s fine, sweetie. We’ll find out together. Thanks!”

***

After half an hour in line, the young couple in front of her starts making out, pulling each other into a dark corner and giving her a fast pass to the front.

The barista, wearing an elaborate mask made of bottle caps, flashes a smile. “What do you want, Miss?”

“Whiskey, with ice.”

“Gotcha. Anything else? Wanna get your date something?”

Akane double-takes, wondering if the man in line behind her is standing too close and immediately realizes it was just a throwaway question.

“Oh, she’s out there enjoying herself but… perhaps she’d love something else.”

“Yeah?”

Akane hands the barista her ticket card to pay for the drink. It’s pre-loaded for tonight’s use, and as soon as the remaining credits flash on the terminal, the barista’s interest is piqued, leaning forward to hand the card back but not letting go of it.

“You know we got everything, right?”

With a smile tugging the corner of her lips, Akane draws close, whispering, “how much Whistle can you get me?”

“I’d be inclined to say as much as your credit allows, Miss, but it’s strong, so there’s a purchase limit. How about we start you off with the minimum for now?” The barista waves her ticket card, winking.

“Perfect!”

With a quick beep on the terminal, the purchase is done. Akane takes her card back, placing it in her pocket.

“Our staff will find you, please don’t lose your card!”

***

“Team.”

Akane chooses a spot in the middle of the floor, swaying with the music while trying to keep her whiskey from spilling.

“This is Shepherd 2. Go ahead.”

“Our cards are traceable within the building. Did we know this?”

“No, but we created fake identities for this purpose.”

“How much research do you think Orion does on its clientele?”

“This is Hound 4, they have a clientele of a few thousand every night with as many transactions going on per minute.”

“Maverick 1 here, probably no if there’s a lot of money going around. Why?”

“I just purchased expensive drugs through the bar and they’re going to hand it to me separately. No confirmation yet but they reminded me not to lose the card. I just want to make sure the purchase doesn’t stand out.”

“Copy that. Hound 4, run a quick check on the transaction to see if we’re exposed.”

“Give me a few minutes. ”

Akane drops the call, scanning her surroundings and deciding the drink in her hands is exactly what she needs right now.

***

She heads to the edge of the dance floor, throwing her empty cup in the bin and noticing some movement in her area. Someone is seated in the first couch, seemingly in deep thought as a waiter offers a couple of bottles of sake for him to choose. Finally, something else to do. She takes a haphazard route, deciding it’s not a good idea to be in the area so soon, considering she’s potentially being tracked.

The front of the stage explodes in a rain of confetti and flashing strobe lights as another DJ enters the stage. It distracts her for a moment, before bumping into a suited lady, who looks down and whispers in her ear.

“Your order, Miss.”

Akane feels the lady’s hand slip inside her pocket. “Do you know how to consume it?”

“I don’t—”

The lady presses forward, lips close to her ear, making her shudder.

“You just dip your fingers in, and lick.”

“Clear. I-I mean, yes. I understand. Thank you,” she stutters, following her lead.

“Miss… you are aware of the rules, right?”

“I’m sorry but no, my partner… my girlfriend is somewhere on the dance floor, she knows.”

“Well.” The lady straightens up, staring from the slits in her mask. “Just in case, you are not allowed to leave the premises with that. So finish it, or we will take it away once the party is over. No refunds.”

“Oh,” Akane breathes, nodding. “I better find her, then.”

“Waste not, want not, Miss. Enjoy your evening.” The lady bends down to blow her a kiss, and walks away.

Shaken but relieved, Akane digs into her pocket, finding the little packet alongside her card and phone. Another song starts, bringing her back to the present and the task at hand when out of nowhere, someone swiftly moves in her peripheral vision, making her jolt.

The impulse is jarring; a vision unearthed, of smallest details etched in her memories, willing her body to motion. She must be imagining things, maybe a whiskey shot is a shot too much, but against her better judgment, she turns, and turns, tracking an incomplete silhouette, a too-familiar shadow. The crowd thickens around her, moving with the music, incessant drumming, a reflection of the disquiet in her heart. Slipping between spaces, she doesn’t want to believe it, yet she’s chasing, aching, ensnared in the same yearning and inexplicable trance…

She knows him. From anywhere, underneath anything.

***

A path opens in the crowd, and she runs blindly as the lights die down in a blanket of smoke as the song reaches its crescendo, illuminating the dance floor before dimming it again. She feels it, the heat, brimming in her eyes as she scans the crowd of stranger’s faces, not wanting to believe she was mistaken when her gaze landed on him just moments ago. He can’t be here, he never said he would be.

But he never said he wouldn’t be, either.

Even with both feet planted on the ground, every move feels off-balanced as she aimlessly moves across the dance floor, shoved left and right between bodies, dictated by the beat of the song. This is what it’s come to; her feelings for him still brewing, piled beneath a rubble of intensity, sediment kicked in the bottom of a lake, muddying the water.

Akane pauses, lost, engulfed in emotions too palpable, too real to swallow. Calling without a voice, needing without a reason.

As if she’s losing him all over again…

The tempo slows, giving her a chance to find her bearings. Akane lowers her head, searching for a way out beyond the blurring of her vision. Right in front of her, like many times before. She must move, do what she came here for, and walk away.

So she steps forward, one foot after the other, hesitation melting away underneath the lights. She knows now why, and understands it necessary to admit, so that she can leave it here before the first light of the morning.

The sound decreases in volume, light swooping in one stripe over the crowd. A steady, silent beat thrums in the background, like a lingering reminder, persistent, present. It’s there, in her eyes, over her skin, beneath the paint on her lips, and inside, calling her back, space carved, part given. It’s still there.

Akane turns to face the music as it picks up again, the beat dropping, loud and exhilarating as her vision explodes in color.

Shizuka catches her, kisses her, holds her— tender, in a way she knows she’s missed, sweet, in the way he always is. He is swift, like a thief, leading her to a dance she’s all too familiar with, dipping

#volition #kouaka #shizuaka #there are 2 chapters left

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 18:48:08

volition

previous chapters - XII (ao3)

Akane reaches above her head, grabbing her phone to turn off her alarm and switch on the lights. Despite her staggering back to shield her eyes from the brightness, Kogami sleeps soundly, clutching tightly at her middle.

It’s a sight of him she never thought she’d see. Such vulnerability, so different from the restless face that she was afraid to cast her glance on, walking past him in the same sleepless night they last spent together. Twice now, waking up next to him, her heart is thrown into disarray, like she can’t reconcile the situation she’s in when he’s so near and within reach. Still, she’s found herself unable to distance from him the same way she’s been unable to face things she left behind.

Akane sighs, knowing the answer won’t come no matter how she longs for it. Some shred of peace, at least, she will cling to. Because it feels good.

“Sleepy-head,“ she murmurs, gently tapping his cheek.

“Mmm?”

“Time to go.”

“Hm.”

She sits up, pulling the covers off them. “Come on. Lunch break is over.”

Kogami opens his eyes, heavy with sleep and still holding on to her as if they still had more hours to kill.

“How many minutes?”

“Far less if you don’t get up now. Come on, we’ve hit the jackpot on being less than admirable today. I’m not going to add more points to that.”

Kogami chuckles, nuzzling against her stomach before sitting up and planting a kiss on her forehead. “Okay. I can’t say I disagree.”

He gets off the bed, holding his hand out to help her. Once standing, he takes her face in his hands, drawing her gaze to him. Amid his sleepiness, there’s an understanding in his stare that insists to be seen, and his voice, though firm with conviction, echoes with insecurity.

“I’m supposed to be the wiser between you and I.”

Akane places a hand above his, smiling. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, I promise to be better,” he says, brushing his lips against hers. “I will be better.”

“Could have just said that,” she says, closing her eyes as he embraces her.

“Waxing poetic. Must be the effect of waking up next to you.”

She laughs softly. “Don’t let me take too much credit. You’ve always been a romantic.”

“To you, yes. You’re not just anyone, you know,” he says, tilting her chin up with his hand. In a split second, his grin drops as a mix of surprise and hurt flashes in her eyes mere moments before she blinks it away with a forced smile.

Confused, he tries to catch her eyes as she steps away from him, slipping into her shoes to grab her jacket on the chair.

“Did I say something wrong?”

Akane shakes her head, stepping away to put her jacket on. She wishes she knew why, hoping she could put to words how much she’s out of her depth when he says something that agitates even the most minute of feelings she didn’t know she had. So she schools her expression before meeting his gaze, knowing nothing she can say will satisfy them both.

“We should go.”

***

The rest of the afternoon goes by quickly, their team completing tasks with relative ease thanks to Hiro’s cooperation, even apologizing to them for the inconvenience his factory had caused. Only Arata and Irie needed to leave the premises, while Kogami and Akane worked on the case, resulting in a more productive day than expected. Kei’s team meanwhile, conducted several raids, rounding up a few more groups that popped up that were riling up some of the peaceful parts of the blocks after more and more illegal businesses were seized. After an afternoon without breaks, they took the opportunity to relax and chat while waiting for the two to come back.

Tomorrow will be quieter for Kei’s team, and rightly so after Kei successfully led them up to this point with his agile approach, handling a majority of people older and more experienced than him and even taking on some extra work when Kogami and Akane were indisposed. Arata is more chaotic, but they can’t deny he also gets the job done. It’s hard not to admire them both.

“I feel old,” Kogami tilts his chin up, blowing smoke in the air. “These kids are so energetic.”

“Oh, you should say that in front of Irie-san. He’s going to love you for it.”

“How old is he again?”

“Five years older than me.”

Kogami raises his eyebrows, mildly surprised. “I could have sworn he was your age or even younger, the way he acts around here.”

The doors open, Kogami casting a knowing glance at her way.

She responds with a smile, pointedly shifting her gaze at Irie then at Arata. “Welcome back!”

“Thanks! Here are your tickets,” Arata hands to them a glittery plastic card with the name of the venue, Orion, and the date tomorrow embossed in bold letters. “I had Hinakawa create fake IDs for us tomorrow, so those are pre-scanned.”

“Thanks for picking them up,” Kogami says, smirking. “We were just talking about how old I feel, and now this is clearly going to emphasize by how much, walking in a nightclub on a Friday night like some… young person.”

All but Kogami burst into laughter, especially after Arata reminds them that the party has a theme.

“It’s called Midnight Masquerade. Sounds pretty harmless, don’t you think?” Arata uses the ticket to scan the code in his phone, where it links to a website of the event invitation. He links the contents to the projector in the room, swiping through some of the suggested attire as Kogami’s eyebrows raise high on his forehead.

“Can I volunteer to be a bouncer instead? A bit out of my depth here.”

“Suits already out of your depth?” Akane eyes him judgmentally, staring at his jeans.

“But this is pretty harmless, right? The basic one is a suit and tie, then you can have a bit of fun with the mask. Holos are not allowed.”

“Bouncers also have to dress according to the theme so I don’t think that’s going to help much, Kogami-san,” Irie says, browsing a design webstore on his phone. “We can use the 4D printer downstairs right?”

“Yes, approval coming in 3, 2…”

Arata’s holo device beeps with a notification, which he then forwards to the team with a swipe of his finger. “It’s already the end of the day, let’s take tonight to pick out whatever designs we want for tomorrow morning so we have time for Hinakawa-san and the tech team’s input before we print them. I guess my only advice is make it fun but functional.”

Akane laughs, shaking her head. “Quite a pitch.”

“Yeah well, I know you like dressing up so you weren’t the target for that,” Arata says, looking at Kogami innocently.

“Like I can do anything about it. I’ll get Tsunemori to pick for me.”

Akane raised her brow, smirking. “I can pick out a dress for you.”

“Never mind.” He stands, chuckling. “So we’re done here, then?”

“Yes. Thanks for getting all the reports through. Tomorrow we do some planning during the day, also maybe see if there’s feedback on our submissions and work on those as well.”

Arata smiles, turning off the projector and raises his arms to stretch. “I’m going downstairs, see if Kei’s done.”

“Don’t think so, they just came back half an hour ago,” Kogami says, standing up and snuffing out his cigarette.

“Ah, too bad. Well, a freeloader can wait.”

Kogami shoots a confused look at Akane, who simply responds with “he eats dinner at his house every other day.”

“Sometimes every day,” Arata says, scratching the back of his head. “I can’t cook to save my life…”

Irie, who’s been tidying up his table, flashes a smile. “If you get bored, I’m making empanadas for them. Mao and Todoroki’s request.”

“Ahh really? Then I’ll help you out. What about you, senpais?”

Kogami raises his hand. “Thanks, but I’m also cooking tonight.”

Akane, who had been packing up her things, pauses when she realizes they’re waiting for her answer.

“Oh, I have some shopping to do,” she blurts out, averting Kogami’s gaze.

“Looks like we’ve got some normal people stuff to do. See you tomorrow!” Arata stands, joining Irie and waving back on his way out.

They leave the room not long after, silent as they head towards the elevators. Once inside, he looks down on her, whose eyes are glued to the panel showing each floor of their descent.

“I wasn’t planning on cooking for just myself.”

She’s unable to hold back a smile. “And I don’t have clothes at your place.”

***

He waits to drive a safe distance from the building, choosing a random place to park on the side of the road. Confused, Akane stares out the window, checking to see where they are exactly before he grabs her face and kisses her passionately.

Shock dissipates fast, like the tingling sensation on her fingertips when she touches him. She returns the kiss, compelled, beyond control.

He draws back, running a thumb over moist lips, smiling.

“What was that about?” She breathes, exhilarated.

“Been wanting to do that all afternoon.”

“And you didn’t because you’re a law abiding citizen all of a sudden?”

He chuckles, placing his hands back on the steering wheel to drive again.

“Not my turf. I’d have pulled you into every blind corner if we were in Dejima.”

Akane huffs, brows rising. “Not sure I want to be someone behaving inappropriately in public premises—”

“Ah well,” Kogami says, turning towards Akihabara, “depends how you define inappropriate.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“That’s why I said blind spots, didn’t I? Pays to know them all,” He teases, laughing at her wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “Don’t judge it until you experience it, is all I’m going to say on that.”

“You could have just kept all that to yourself, actually,” she whines, covering her face.

“Ah! So you like a surprise, then? Noted.”

If it were possible to sink in her seat, she would have, but instead she punches his arm, albeit a useless gesture, and laughs along as they drive further down a familiar road.

***

Though still early in the evening, most vendors in the open market have packed up for the day, only staying to finish some accounting or cleaning up. The other side, where the food stalls are mostly located, remains open, and will stay open way past midnight. Irie often hosted food trips in this area, dragging the whole team in stalls barely large enough to seat them. They pass by the bean sprout ramen stall, which had tested the capacity of her stomach several times back then.

“Sure you don’t want to shop for your clothes?”

“I already did, they’ll be delivered to your door by the time we arrive. What are we doing here again?”

“Asked a contact in Dejima if they knew a spice vendor here. Need some specific ingredients for our dinner today,” he puts an arm around her shoulders, diverting her path to avoid a server holding hot food on a tray.

Surprised, Akane clutches at his jacket at the swift movement, and breathes a sigh of relief after realizing what could have happened.

“Thanks.”

“No worries,” he says, glancing at his phone to check directions and bringing his arm down so he can hold her hand instead. “This way.”

She follows, staring where they’re linked, with a backdrop of the busy street and noisy stalls, the scents and sights that can’t be differentiated from any other place in the city. Her fingers twitch in his grip; a tinge of nervousness that’s out of place in the whole context of everything that’s happened between them. Kogami eases into normalcy without hesitation, she almost envies him for it.

***

As expected, the package is waiting outside his door when they arrive. He quickly drops their groceries on the counter and ushers her to his bedroom where he opens his closet, haphazardly tossing his clothes from one shelf to the other and pushing his hanged clothes to one side. Then he leaves her alone to get started with dinner, standing at the spaces he made for her sake; more than enough for her small box worth a few days of clothing. She folds her clothes and underwear, hangs her jackets and skirts, and lets her gaze wander inside a room they’ve never even slept in.

Come to think of it, she hasn’t even stepped foot in this room before today.

It’s a little bit smaller than her bedroom loft, though there’s not a lot of furniture, and the sliding doors leading to the balcony add to the illusion of space with its floor to ceiling windows. He’s even managed to keep a healthy-looking plant outside, something she believes is a great talent after killing a few herself.

Like every corner of his place, a faint scent of his cigarettes, with a hint of his cologne, wafts in the air. There’s a couple of paperbacks on his nightstand, probably his favorites judging by the worn spines and discolored paper, and a clean ashtray next to a framed photograph of him and his mom.

The room, like the apartment, feels functional but lived in, and even though he held her by the hand on their way here, Akane can’t shake off the feeling like she’s trespassing.

“Hey when you’re done there, can you help wash the rice?”

Startled, she drops the empty box in her hand, spilling the paper stuffing on the floor. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute!”

She picks up the box and stuffing, holding it against her chest as she steps out of the room, closing the door.

***

“Done! Anything else you want me to do?”

“Nothing, just sit tight. Want a beer? There’s some in the fridge.”

“I almost forgot you managed to grab some in the old man’s store,” she chuckles. “Shall I get you one, too?”

“Please,” he says, adding sliced herbs in the mortar as he grinds it with the green chili paste. “I got lucky, I don’t often find that brand in Dejima.”

Akane grabs the bottle opener, a little magnet on his fridge, and sits across the counter from him.

“Singha,“ she reads, giggling. "Kinda sounds like your name.”

He smiles at that, waiting for her to say it, but she’s already busy popping the caps off. She slides the bottle to him, his cue to pause for a moment.

“Cheers.”

“Cheers,” she parrots, lighting up as the strong flavor hits her tongue. “Nice!“

"Glad you like it. It’s from Thailand, the same place this dish I’m making is from.”

Kogami resumes, while her attention shifts to the ingredients laid out on the counter, most of which have already been combined beneath his hands.

“And what exactly are you making?”

“This is green chili paste, I’m almost done. It’s a key ingredient for Thai green curry.”

Akane peeks inside the stone bowl, where the paste has taken a slightly dark, moss green color. The strong scent fills the air as he pushes the pestle to mash it harder with a roll of his wrist.

“I realize this might be too late but how’s your spice tolerance?”

She smiles, taking another swig. “Not as high as my alcohol tolerance but also not bad.

Kogami chuckles, scraping the paste from the pestle with a rubber spatula and transferring it to a small bowl. "Good.”

He starts a fire on the stove, emptying a can of coconut cream on a deep pan.

“How did you learn how to make it?”

“Actually it’s popular enough that you will find a lot of recipes online. I didn’t learn how to make it when I was there, but I had it several times, so let’s say I managed to figure out the recipe that was most authentic to the taste I remember.”

He then adds the paste, stirring them together. The mix of scents, fragrant and fresh, nutty and spicy, wafts in the air. Akane grins excitedly, inhaling the aroma as if she can taste the dish.

“I envy that, being out there and experiencing so many new things…”

“I was also eliminating peacekeepers left and right,” he pauses, realizing how bitter he sounded. She picks up on it, propping her chin in her hands as she watches him add the chicken pieces.

“It’s not the same as before, by the way.”

“Yeah, and that’s all thanks to you.” Akane smiles softly, suddenly struck with the realization that she now understands exactly how Tenzing felt; maybe even more if she ever gets to set foot in those places outside Japan that he helped improve.

Kogami doesn’t reply, but he’s touched, still, unable to stop the corners of his mouth lifting. The past has a way of unearthing his demons; she knows him too well.

“This will be ready in a bit, want to set up the table?”

“Sure!”

“The plates are in the cupboard near the fridge, and you’ll find utensils in the drawer below,” he says, using the wooden spoon to point. “Spoons and forks, no chopsticks.”

Akane nods, making her way back inside the kitchen, way too cheerful to be the recipient of such important information.

***

He’s been reading the same line for a while now, he realizes; letters merging in his vision, blurry edges of a blinding white page, but he’s stubborn enough to keep the screens open, tuning out the sounds of eager moans, deep breaths, wet tongue over his tip— one of them is trying, at least.

Shizuka slumps on the chair, putting his hand over the woman’s crown. She takes it, urging him to put her in place, to fuck into her mouth, the thought of which is sure to keep him flaccid now, even when he specifically requested she cover her hair.

He gives her a pat, putting a hand on her shoulder to gently push her away.

“Sorry, I…” he says, exhausted, “I’m quite tired.”

“Oh but,” the woman’s eyes glisten as if on cue, unnerving him. The Pleasant holos have definitely been upgraded since he last needed their services.

“I can try other things, a lap da—”

“That won’t be necessary,” he says, holding his hand up. “Thank you. You’ve been fully paid, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Well, sir…” she stands slowly, head bowed, hands clasped. Certainly not the type he ordered, but he figures this is just the Pleasant talking, now. “I didn’t want to leave you dissatisfied. You are an important client.”

Shizuka chuckles dryly at that. Not that he was ever considered as anything less, but maybe the irony of owning the place now has an added pressure to them, which was not exactly his intention, though again, he’s the one with his dick out and still just hanging.

“Thank you, but I assure you that this won’t reflect badly on you. As you can see,” he opens his hands over his crotch, “it’s a me problem.”

“You are very kind, Sir.”

“Not at all.“ He gazes at the door, unable to face the fact of the matter; two failures, both his fault. "Chiyo?”

His office door opens, the drone wheeling itself in. “Yes, Master?”

“Please see her out,” he says, swiping the screens to turn off as he stands, tucking himself back in and zipping his pants. “Thank you again.”

The woman bows, though he barely acknowledges it. Unnecessary, he thinks, just like his attempt to arrange his clothing.

***

Yuzu barks at him when he enters the bedroom, which he laughs at. Hollow and grating, automatic response. Fake.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

He comes back after a quick shower, finding the room empty. Yuzu is probably eating dinner. Good that he’s kept his appetite; at least one of them should be well-fed. Maybe in the morning, when he’s about to crash after long hours of an empty stomach, he’ll be discomforted enough to eat something.

Yuzu comes back after some time, pointing his snout in his direction and deciding his scent is acceptable. They proceed to have a staring contest, Shizuka sitting on her side of the bed as if to challenge him to bite his legs off.

"Come on,” he groans, sliding down to sit on the floor, his bathrobe barely cushioning his naked ass. “You don’t get to mope around like that. You’re still my dog.”

He pats his lap, rearranging the robe over his legs. Yuzu approaches, sniffing his cheeks tentatively before licking him. Shizuka tosses his head back, distracting the dog with ear massages as he tries to calm him down. At least the laugh that bubbles out of him feels genuine this time.

***

“I think I once wanted something for myself…”

There it was, that melancholy tone. Even he knew it wasn’t something she hadn’t completely let go of. He hated it.

When he started getting to know her, he found it strange that she seemed to be devoid of selfishness of any kind; too caught up in her work, too mindful of her purpose, too simplistic in her personal desires. It was part of the reason that had drawn her to him; saw in her a kindred soul when it came to the bigger things, but as time went by something else in him grew.

This was different. He looked at her and wondered why, for all the power he supposedly held, did it take so much to stand beside her, to be the one for her at that moment. No, it wasn’t about the sacrifices he made. It was about how, despite being an orphan of the Homura family, he could never have walked on the same path. He had to be the one to bridge that gap.

He snuggled against the crook of her neck, patient to a fault, wanting her to feel comfortable to tell her story. Something told him he wasn’t going to hear the rest of it, that her lips over his forehead, her arms wrapped around him was a mere figment of his imagination. He knew it wasn’t. He knew…

That when she looked in his eyes and chose to kiss him, to turn her secrets into theirs to share, even without words, that she trusted he would keep them.

It’s when he kisses back that it crumbles around him, in the dark, on the bed, sniffing whatever’s left of the scent of her pillow. He clutches at it, buries his face as he touches himself, digs his hips into the places that cushioned their joined bodies, his mind mapping the paths his hands have been, what was his, what she had given, his every inhale sending him to blinding ecstasy. His eyes sting, pins and needles in his heart. He remembers it all, her hands on his hips, her lips all over, her breath, her wet, her everything.

It’s too soon to be having hallucinations, but he comes, sobbing into her pillow, drooling over her scent like a hungry dog. A mess. Because the side of her bed is cold. And all that’s left is barely two days old, and will not come back to him once it goes away.

***

#volition #shizuaka #kouaka

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 23:47:19

volition

previous chapters - XI (ao3)

“You know… one of the things I always found interesting was the lack of difference most of the people here have with the rest of society. Also, no one can convince me these people are unhappy.”

Akane smiled, leading the way. “Indeed. Nor are they less capable. In spite of their situation, life goes on and has gone on since.”

Being one of the busiest places in the blocks, the open market would have been the easiest way for them to blend in. That was the expectation; he made people turn heads, an obvious consequence of his good looks, but it was his curiosity, so openly displayed, that would have made him a target for anyone up to no good, so it was all the better that she accompanied him.

"Statistically, they say the population managed under Sibyl are the happiest people of all,” she continued, stepping aside to let a street vendor go through.

“An invalid claim, considering the population for the abolition blocks are not included in this census, so they’re not really comparing against anything.”

“Careful now, don’t make claims that will cloud your hue,” she smirked, “Sir.”

“Thought about things like that for a long time, not once have I been affected. I’m not—” he paused, stopping at a corner of a florist’s stall, casting a knowing look behind a red bouquet—”you know, either.”

She raised a brow as he grabbed the flowers and fished his pocket for some cash, waving at the seller to keep the change. He caught up, walking alongside her and keeping the bouquet behind his back, as if she hadn’t witnessed the purchase in front of her eyes.

“Very bold of you to be so open about… state secrets.”

“Miss Tsunemori, the sooner you accept that I am, in fact, not capable of talking to just anyone, the better.”

“Hard to believe after you so casually talked me into this whole, whatever the heck this is we’re doing.”

“But you’re not just anyone, Miss Tsunemori. Maybe words are insufficient right now but I assure you, there is no one else I talk to about a great deal of things.”

Akane noticed he stopped walking mid-speech and turned around, caught off guard by his soft gaze and the bouquet in his hand.

“Just you.”

“You can’t bribe me with roses,” she frowned, looking away. In his hands, bright red in black paper, like a stop light; easier on the eyes somehow.

“Not a bribe, first thing. Not roses, second thing. I just couldn’t pass by the market without a purchase. We were visitors, after all.”

“First thing, fine. Second, I knew that,” she rolled her eyes, reluctantly taking it. “I just don’t know what these are called.”

“Red carnations. You don’t like flowers?”

“It’s not that. I’m impartial.”

“But they’re beautiful, right?.”

She felt his gaze linger, not on the bouquet, but on her. Easier on the eyes, she thought, looking down. This was the first time someone she considered mostly a stranger had bought her flowers.

“Yes, they are. Thank you.”

***

He opens his eyes with a lazy grunt, heavy limbs, dead arm… pinned beneath the curve of her hips, covered by his jacket, spilling over his crotch—

—hiding his hard cock.

It would be less embarrassing if it wasn’t deliberate; Akane is awake, poking at a scar on his stomach, likely pretending she didn’t save his dignity by sharing her makeshift blanket. Half her butt is exposed now, and the view isn’t going to make anything of his go down soon.

“Been awake long?”

She shakes her head, gaze traveling over his torso, counting.

“How many?”

“So far? I think fourteen,” She says, propping herself up on his chest, staring intently at his face before lighting up, tracing the faint line over the bridge of his nose. “I remember this one.”

Kogami chuckles. “Nostalgic, huh? Good morning.”

Her smile is soft as it is distracted, hands traveling to claw at his scalp, exposing his forehead, finding no visible scars there. He resists the temptation to kiss her, convincing himself it’s out of respect.

“Been checking me out the whole time, then?”

Akane giggles, dropping to lie on her side. Kogami slips his arm out and mirrors her posture, careful not to expose himself. All this manhandling of his manhandle is denying him the opportunity to just savor her beauty in the morning. This view, face to face, close enough to distinguish the fine strands of hair on her brows and lashes, to admire the smooth, glowing skin of her cheeks, the subtle pout on her soft lips is somehow, still not close enough.

“I woke up to the thought of not having any clothes here,” she says, nonchalant.

“Oh. And we have a brief at nine, right? Let’s stop by your place.”

“No, it’s fine. I have clothes in the lockers.”

“Yeah? How many sets?”

“Two.”

He laughs, the memory of Gino cleaning his glasses while sitting on the bench in the locker room resurfaces.

“I had three. Gino always said if you had more than the standard issue then you’re spending too much time in the office.”

“I work out there often. I just don’t want to have a set unavailable in case I’d need it the same day I decide to do some laps on the treadmill.”

“No need to elaborate, I totally get it.”

“Ginoza-san told me to go work out somewhere else, too.”

“Yup, same guy.” Kogami kisses her, finally, smiling against her lips. “You always wake up like this?”

“You mean this early?”

He hums, staying rooted but unapologetically letting his gaze travel past her shoulders, down her breasts, the edge of his jacket over the crest of her hips.

Akane waits for his eyes to meet hers again, judging, but only just. “And you always wake up like this?”

“Hard?”

“That, too.”

“Ah, you meant horny,” he throws his head back, laughing, no longer caring that he didn’t take the jacket along with him. It’s the jacket’s fault for not hanging on his dick, as far as he’s concerned.

Akane covers her face, giggling. “I mean it’s not new, it’s not like I—”

Her laughter dies abruptly as she lowers her hand, resorting to a smile that’s a little too reminiscent of a recent memory he’s already erased. Like before, he chooses to ignore it, already jumping to the next thing.

“You can sleep a bit more,” he says, lacing his fingers in hers. “It’s still early.”

“I wonder,” she sighs, closing her eyes as he starts lapping at the crook of her neck, “how you expect me to do that.”

He chuckles, circling her nipples with his thumb as he shoves his jacket aside, revealing to him a most irresistible place.

Kogami revels, savoring her gasp when he slides in. She withers beneath him, thighs finding their place to cling to, toes sliding at the back of his knee.

“You don’t have to do anything, baby,” he thrusts forward, taking both wrists above her head, staring into her eyes, promising.

With a smile tugging at her lips, she gives in to his persuasion. Indeed, she doesn’t have to do anything, sleeping included, as he coaxes a moan with each sensuous grind of his hips, unable to keep his pace steady.

“You’re delicious,” he pants, splitting her legs, bending over. “I can’t get enough of you.”

“You’re fucking horny,” Akane laughs, realizing it made him eager, hungrier, eyes shining with lust. It makes her head spin, how her body crashes with his, shaking, tilting her world off its axis. She feels drunk, still.

Maybe this is what she got drunk on.

“For you,” he mutters, hot on her lips, swallowing her moans, gripping her wrists tighter like he’s afraid she’ll flutter away, break into shards and cut him.

“Just you.”

She opens her eyes, in ecstasy, on the verge of tears, mouth open as he fucks hard and pulls each desperate whimper through his lips over hers, sliding a hand down the curve of her back as he comes, pushing her into him like he wants to bind them in place, inseparable.

He collapses on top of her, one hand relinquishing his hold on her wrists, the other still buried beneath. Akane covers her eyes with an arm, still shaking, catching her breath.

“Did I—”

“No,” she bites her lip, chest heaving, wondering when her thighs will stop shaking as he leaves her; the loss of weight and heat so immediate, so distinctly felt, just like the chaste kisses he starts leaving all over, his open palms painting their path over her skin.

“This,” he pauses at the faint scar on her thigh. “I remember.”

The stairs, the sharp pain. Adrenaline dictates, her first step was to stop the bleeding. The second step was to bite back, to command him forward, because they had no better chance than then. It’s been so long. They were so very different.

He comes back, breath tickling her cheeks, matching her breathing, lifting the corners of her lips. His hand connects with hers, taking away the shield she’s made, misty eyes meeting the warmth and intensity of his gaze. The man she let in her body is knocking on her heart, as if he hadn’t already made his way there.

“Good?” he murmurs, kissing the shell of her ear, making her shudder.

She nods, wrapping her arms around him as he lifts her up in his arms, standing.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, give me a minute.”

“No rush. You’re light.”

“Oh, now you’re just showing off,” Akane chuckles, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

The rest of her thoughts remain unspoken, a precarious bridge she’s in the middle of crossing, each end hanging by weak ropes, no turning back.

***

He wakes before the alarm, dark shadows cast his vision in the early morning light; a reflection of his dejected state. His bed is cold, he knows her side is empty, no warmth to embrace, no soft lips to kiss. Every morning, then, save for his short-lived romance.

So he gets out of bed to wash his face and brush his teeth, put on his clothes, style his hair, spray some cologne. Like normal. He takes his suit jacket along, hanging it on the dining room chair where Chiyo has a freshly brewed espresso waiting for him. The drone is at least not bringing up the fact that he’s alone now; Yuzu, however, has been whining at his heels, sniffing around him as if he hid her in his pocket and will take her out any minute now.

The coffee slides down his throat, far more bitter than yesterday. No amount of heat will soothe the growing ache, the evident image of his solitude; alone in a place he wanted to be their home, surrounded by companions she so casually named, as if her absence wouldn’t remind him of the warmth she brought in, pieces of her that have taken root, collective hearts she already stole.

Standing by the sink, he lets the cup fall from his grip; no use finishing a drink when he’s so wide awake. Dark brown liquid splatters over stainless steel, the cup has him wishing he had a wall to smash it to pieces instead of watching it roll to a stop, or at the very least have the energy to do it— after all, this apartment is not short on hard barriers that can easily decimate even the most expensive china. All he can do is ball his fists, simmer, afraid to be consumed by the pain he’s already begun enclosing, forgetting, pushing to the back of his mind.

Closing his eyes, breathing deeply, he knows he’ll be just fine, he can hold himself together. There’s work. He has decisions to make, deals to close, contracts to sign. Life goes on, life goes on.

And on.

***

Akane enters the room, slightly puzzled to find all the men in the team already present.

“Did I miss an earlier brief?”

“Not at all!” Arata beams, balancing a pen between his nose and upper lip. The pen slides down just in time for him to catch it as he moves to their working board, pulling up a couple of blank screens. “Irie just arrived a couple of minutes before you did, by the way.”

“And we’re all here twenty minutes before nine, amazing,” Irie comments with an amused clap. “Whatever we had for breakfast today, let’s have it always.”

Kogami snorts, raising his coffee cup. “Cheers.”

Akane pretends not to hear, making a beeline for her seat and averting Kogami’s teasing gaze.

“First of all, I just want to say that we’re glad you’re both safe. We knew you were in good hands after seeing Shion-san patch you up,” Arata says. “We sent her a cake yesterday as thanks, and of course we want to celebrate with you, too but—”

“Chief Shimotsuki has banned alcohol consumption in the CID until the end of the investigation,” Irie groans. “Not even after work.”

“We’ll get her to approve for an afterparty, not to worry.” Arata winks. “I am glad that everyone’s here, I need to be very upfront about this considering what happened yesterday morning.”

The tone is suddenly serious, though Akane is not at all concerned. Kogami, however, is piqued, staring intently at the young inspector standing in the middle of the room.

“Around two in the morning we detained a businessman named Hiro, identified by Inoue as someone connected to the Myogadani warehouse. He cooperated easily, and we took him back to the CID to do the preliminary checks. So his psycho-pass was clear, and I had planned to question him with you this morning but… let’s just say I forgot about the new law.”

Arata chuckles, scratching his head.

“The one where we’re not allowed to detain civilians with clear psycho-passes for more than five hours in any government building without very specific reasons,” Akane says, smiling. “Frankly this is the last law I would imagine you’d forget.”

“Correct, and yes, I have to be honest, I thought so, too. It was just my luck that I ended up sleeping in the office for the night, so you can imagine how visibly upset Chief Shimotsuki is waking me up because the alert goes straight to the bosses to approve whether this guy was an exception.”

“And he’s not.” Kogami huffs, disappointed.

“Well, yes. I know that what happened was unfortunate…”

“It’s okay, Arata. No need to dance around the details,” Akane reassures. “I assume you have everything we need, then?”

“Yes. I was able to interrogate him before his release. It was quite early but Chief Shimotsuki and the Bureau Chief were also present in another room.”

Kogami’s gaze flits towards Akane, whose face gives nothing away.

Arata starts flashing some photographs and documents on the screen as he speaks. “The warehouse is a manufacturer of generic painkillers and flu medicine, sold to mostly the SEAUn and other east Asian countries. They’re small-scale, based on private orders and availability of raw materials, and as you’ve already seen, the factory is almost one hundred-percent automated.”

He pulls up an illustration of a chemical compound, quickly swiping away the photograph of the room where Akane collapsed in, which made her visibly wince.

“The gas is a byproduct of the manufacturing process. It’s poisonous when inhaled at its purest form and absorbed into the bloodstream, but by itself dissipates after a time when mixed with oxygen.”

Akane sighs, rubbing her temples. “And the man we saw who took the box outside?”

“The only employee on that shift. He is housed in a corner barracks at the end of the compound, and for his own safety, is only allowed to go inside the loading bay when there’s a shipment to be received or sent out.”

“We didn’t see any drones retrieving materials in the storage room,” Kogami says, lighting a cigarette in an attempt to quell his temper. “No safety protocols, we just walked in there.”

“Wetrespassed,” Akane corrects, suddenly. “No warrant.”

“Not required in the abolition blocks, remember?”

“Correct,” Arata cuts in, both hands raised, “both of you. The materials are retrieved by drones, but only when needed. Basically all requirements for the production run were already brought to the floor even before you went in.”

“Safety protocols are pretty much non-existent if the buildings themselves are not being inspected for safety standards, I assume,” Irie adds. “And if there’s one thing people in the slums don’t go walking in on, it’s usually the big warehouses and abandoned buildings. Always some weird stuff going on and we never know if it’s run by some of the gangs that basically spells trouble the moment you step foot inside.”

“I’m so ashamed,” Akane groans, covering her face with her palms. “We were so stupid, Kogami-san.”

“It was my idea, don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“B-but it’s also true that goons usually stop you at the entrance, so I can understand why you opted to continue inside,” Irie laughs nervously, shooting a worried look at Arata.

“All that’s past, and to be fair I probably would have done the same thing, pretty sure I would have dragged Irie-san here too.”

“I would have let myself be dragged.”

Akane smiles apologetically, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know whether to be comforted or not.”

“We take after our senpai,” Irie says, thumbs up.

“That’s hardly flattering after what happened,” Kogami chuckles, shaking his head. “Not our best day.”

“No matter what, it wasn’t for nothing. I have all the information from the interview in our database that we can access—”

He is disrupted with the doors sliding open, Shimotsuki walking in with a tired smile that is immediately wiped at the sight of Akane.

“Senpai, I’m so glad to see you.”

“Thank you, Mika-chan. Sorry you had to wake up early to deal with our stuff.”

“Not at all, that was his responsibility,” she says, side-eyeing Arata as she approaches the front of the screen. “And I already gave him an earful, I’m sure he knows never to forget the law again.“

Arata flashes a cheeky grin, likely to cause Shimotsuki to pop a blood vessel.

“Anyway that’s not why I’m here, this just came in from up, and of course I wanted to see how you are,” Shimotsuki says, affectionately gazing at Akane before pointedly staring at the glowing tip of Kogami’s cigarette. “I’m happy you’re both okay.”

“Thanks,” Kogami mutters, nodding respectfully. It’s enough that she hasn’t attempted to snuff out his cigarette herself.

“The Bureau Chief is asking that you make sure to map their full supply chain. Can this be done?”

“Hiro is cooperative, he’ll give us what we want.”

“And for the SAD to use your resources to help gather data on how much these products are being sold to the end customers in these countries.”

“He wants to figure out if they’re being overpriced to the masses once exported,” Kogami says, brows furrowed as he blows smoke in the air.

“Correct. This information is critical, please make sure to try your best to get it.”

“Roger.”

His peripheral vision can only make out a vague silhouette of Akane, once again with no reaction.

“Since you’re here, and you probably know anyway considering everyone’s workload, we won’t be able to close this tomorrow. I don’t expect work on the weekend, but officially we will hear from Sibyl through the Bureau Chief on the outcome of the investigation on Monday. Your reports are on track and are already being deliberated as we speak, but that’s for the Bureau Chief to worry about and for us to just keep doing what we need to do. If I’m not wrong, your last assignment is the nightclub. Did you manage to secure invites?”

“Yes, Chief! We’re heading to Akihabara in the afternoon to get them later today.”

“Good. If there’s any change to the plan just let me know,” Shimotsuki says. “This should go without saying, and not just to you,” shei pauses, glancing at both Akane and Kogami. “But for tomorrow night, I would keep alcohol to a minimum, if only to put up appearances. You know what I mean, right?”

They all nod, Akane in particular staring out of focus and choosing to look down at her fingertips. What she thought of as a little adventurous and something to laugh about is starting to turn sour the more she thinks about it. Shimotsuki exits the room, and her gaze lingers at the closed door before Arata calls their attention to start work, which she’s more than thankful for.

***

“Lunch?” Arata offers, cutting through the busy ambiance in the room.

They all look up and nod belatedly; Akane in particular feeling more sleepy than hungry, and decides she’ll take a nap instead. They stop, as if on cue, standing up to stretch before each file out the room, Irie and Arata racing each other to the elevator doors.

“Where are you off to?” Kogami catches her hand as she turns toward the elevators in the opposite direction.

“Break room. Wake me up with a call.”

“Want me to get you anything?”

“I’m not really hungry,” she says, slipping away from his grip and walking like her body is on autopilot, only concerned about a soft place to rest her head.

“I’ll get you food anyway.”

“Thanks,” she yawns, waving without looking back.

***

The break rooms are near the fitness center; each designed like standard business hotel rooms with basic amenities, mainly for inspectors’ use, since enforcers have their quarters in the same building. Arata has never used them and prefers to sleep inside their offices, tucked in a sleeping bag he stores in the lockers, while Kei always goes home, no matter how late.

Just recently Akane used to take naps in the office on the highest floor, or spent nights in either a hotel or his place. This isn’t a new experience, though now, as the panel lights up to scan her ID, and the doors subsequently slide open, the modest room feels like a cold box. Stepping inside, she convinces herself it will do the job quite well.

She takes off her jacket and toes off her shoes, setting an alarm before placing her phone on the wireless charger by the nightstand. Lying on the bed feels like she’s been working the whole day even though it’s only been three hours; the shakeup of her body clock since two nights ago no longer cured by a cup of coffee.

The lights turn off with a wave of her hand over the digital panel on the headboard, bathing the room in complete darkness. A perfect ambiance, with no sound other than the ones she makes as she gets comfortable on the bed. Sighing, she closes her eyes, only to be disturbed by a shrill ringing that is the room’s intercom.

“What the—”

“It’s me. Can I come in?”

***

“Be quiet,” she warns, flopping back down the mattress after giving him a judgmental look as he crosses the threshold.

“Yes, Ma’am,” he mumbles, one bite away from finishing the sandwich in his hand. “Never had ‘em this nice in my time.”

Akane turns away, snuggling under the covers, ready to kick him out in case he doesn’t get the message.

Kogami tosses the sandwich packet in the bin, and places the plastic bag with onigiri on the table. Taking the water bottle under his arm and twisting the cap off to drink, he surveys the room, quite impressed. He heard these rooms were upgraded some time ago, and with the sleek interiors and fancy furniture, it certainly shows which Ministry gets the lion’s share of the national budget.

Quietly, he discards the bottle in the bin, taking off his jacket to hang alongside hers and slips off his shoes. The bed is wide enough, and he gets to prove by how much, slipping underneath the covers.

He tucks behind, wrapping an arm around her middle and tangling his legs between hers, making her flinch.

“Not here to—”

“Nor I, but I’m glad you thought of it,” he chuckles, waving his hand over the panel to turn the lights off.

Akane elbows him sharply, sighing. “Shut up.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he whispers, kissing her crown.

In the darkness, he closes his eyes, leaving it to his sensations; the rise and fall of his arm with her breathing, her warmth against his chest, the faint scent of his shampoo filling his nose, bringing a smile to his lips, savoring the silence and letting their stillness lull him to sleep.

***

It was getting late, but their curiosity kept them in the streets after catching sight of a delivery truck refilling one of the vending machines they had yet to explore the contents of.

“It’s food, I just know it,” she whispered, peeking around the corner to check if the man was done.

“It better be, we’ve only had drinks so far and I’m getting quite hungry.”

That night they concluded that drinks were predictable, with roughly the same rotation of products for each machine they encountered. She kept trying to look for a can of Morinaga chocolate milk that she had last time they went vending machine strolling, but it seemed that was a rare one; she couldn’t even find it in the city.

Food vending machines were few and far between but had more variety; sandwiches, anpan, eggs, fruit, instant noodles, fresh noodles, curry rice, even pizza and burgers. Once the delivery truck drove away, Akane bolted towards the machine, with the sound of his laughter echoing in her ears.

“It’s your stomach propelling you, I imagine.”

“Not just that,” she said, eyes widening at the machine’s contents: katsu pork sandwiches, the premium kind. “These trips, believe it or not, have become quite the stress-reliever for me. How much money do you still have?“

His playful gaze was accentuated by a mask of pretense, nose wrinkling as he fished his pocket with much effort, only to hand her a wad of ten thousand yen bills.

She snorted, waving him away with a judgmental look. "I know it’s pricier than the stuff we bought today but don’t you have smaller bills?”

“Well I did but we spent it on the drinks.”

“Fine, then. I got you.”

Akane still had a five thousand yen bill, just enough for the two of them.

“Maybe let’s share one for now? Our fresh food experience with the vending machines had been okay at best.”

“Hmm, yeah. You have a point.”

She inserted the bill in the slot and pressed the button, sending the sandwich down a chute and their change in another dispenser.

“Still warm. Looks very promising,” she handed him the sandwich, pocketing the change. “Do the honors, will you?”

He opened the packet to reveal two thick slices of pork katsudon between white bread, freshly made. They both inhaled the savory aroma and exchanged approving looks, though she briefly wondered how much of their hunger was a factor.

Akane took her piece, biting down and lighting up excitedly with each chew. The meat, crunchy on the outside but juicy and flavorful inside, had just the right amount of katsu sauce that gave a distinct flavor, blending well with the soft bread.

A mouthful of food wasn’t always an appealing sight, though it was hard to make such a claim on him, as he chewed, trying but failing to hold back his satisfaction with a smile tugging at his lips.

“Very good,” he commented.

“Yes. Very. Let’s get another one.”

“Finish this first.”

“Oh, I will,” she promised, closing her eyes as a giggle bubbled out of her. Food was easy, even if it didn’t always meet their expectations, but it was hard to deny she was having fun.

They finished eating quickly, going for seconds with Akane tossing another warm sandwich in his direction as she grabbed the last of her physical money, five hundred yen, and dropped it down her pocket with a tap. For good luck.

***

The jolt is disorienting; her mind clinging to the strange remnants of the details in the memories replayed. Akane opens her eyes to darkness, situating herself in the present and brushing off the lingering ache that rippled from the dream, of details she had pocketed in the depths of her mind, floating to the surface without warning. Part of her is drifting away, left to its own volition, like a wanderer in her sleep, seeking something she doesn’t yet know.

Kogami exhales deeply at her nape, breath caressing her skin; he is a force of gravity, pulling her to the now, rooting her in place, in his arms, against his warmth. Akane turns to face him, careful not to jostle him awake, using her memory to paint a picture in the darkness as she caresses his face with the back of her hand.

***

#volition #kouaka #shizuaka

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 15:16:28

volition

previous chapters - X (ao3)

Kogami opens the doors to his place, stepping aside to let her in while he takes longer than usual to take off his jacket.

“Are you hungry? I can cook, or we can order, whatever you like.”

Akane shakes her head, depositing the contents of the plastic bag on the coffee table before taking a seat on the carpet, using the couch as a backrest.

“I thought you were supposed to get me a better one to compensate.”

“Well, stores are closed now. I’ll keep my promise, if that’s what you’re worried about. ”

“Not at all, thanks for making do but we are not having that,” Kogami declares, standing between the living room and kitchen, rolling his sleeves and giving the one cup sake a stink eye.

“What about the part where this is supposed to be my treat?”

“Listen, lady. I know you have excellent tolerance but I would not want to regress after having such a fantastic time recovering. And I am only half sarcastic.”

He hears her giggle as he enters the kitchen, opening his cupboards and bringing down bottle after bottle. “I have whiskey, wine, and of course there’s beer in the fridge.

“How much beer?”

“I don’t recommend getting wasted.“

“Who said I was? Just wanted to check your inventory, if you have enough.”

“Why would you want to know if that wasn’t the plan?”

“Why are you so stingy? Not sure if you’ve noticed but you and I don’t do good with plans.”

“You know what,” he pauses, rubbing the back of his neck, “Let’s start with a bottle each and maybe try not to go off the rails. How’s that sound?”

Akane bursts into laughter. “Okay, mister. Stop stalling.”

From where he stands, her profile is sharp in his eyes, making him uncomfortable, testing his defenses. He shrugs it off, grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry and a couple of bottles from the fridge, quickly counting with his eyes and feeling a little relieved they weren’t as many as he thought.

She’s already munching on jerky, and, much to his surprise, sipping on the disgusting excuse of a drink.

“Are you sure your taste buds didn’t get whacked somehow after the whole thing?” He sits next to her, tossing the bag of chips on the coffee table along with her snacks.

Akane huffs against the cup, her breath causing little ripples on the clear liquid as she downs another gulp. “No, the jerky’s still great,” she comments, munching on a piece, “so I guess it’s just that kind of drink for me.”

“What kind of drink?”

“You know, the bitter kind.”

“It’s not bitter, Tsunemori. It tastes like aspirin-flavored liquid acetone. Here, the best blonde my salary can buy.”

Akane smiles, taking the bottle with her greasy fingers while still sipping rebelliously. He’s honestly amazed that she’s about halfway through, like she’s got a deathwish or something.

“So is this what a normal weekday looks for you?”

Kogami tries to snatch the sake away, to no avail. Instead she gives him her bottle and points at the cap with her lips. He twists it off easily, holding his hand out this time.

“Stop drinking that shit.”

“Or what? Just stay put, Kogami-san. I’ll get to your best blonde in a minute.”

“You know what, slow down, actually. No, really.” He gives her a warning look, which only makes her giggle, clicking her teeth against the glass. “Were you already drunk when you came to me?”

Snorting, she looks at him judgmentally and says, “you think I’m drunk right now?”

“No, just acting really strange.”

“Maybe if you relaxed a bit you wouldn’t think so, Kogami-san. I’ve just been sitting here sipping my drink, you’re the one who’s gotten all… jumpy.”

He pauses for a moment, acknowledging her point. Bold invitations aside, it’s too late for that now. Sighing, he twists the cap off his beer, holding it out to her.

“Cheers, then? For surviving.”

“Cheers.”

***

“So which is it? The IPA or the blonde?”

Akane reaches forward to place her empty bottle at their feet, toppling the rest of them like bowling pins.

"Whoops.”

They both crawl forward to put the bottles back in order, bumping shoulders and laughing at their lack of effectiveness at four in the morning.

“Yeah, okay this is making me dizzy. Leave it,” Kogami resumes his posture, leaning with his back to the couch, both arms propped up on the seat, looking up so he doesn’t have to stare at her ass. He’s definitely had less, but as usual, Tsunemori doesn’t flinch at the task and finishes in no time.

“Blonde.”

“I’ll keep it in mind and stock two cases next time”

Akane raises a brow, fiddling with the hem of her suit jacket now that there’s no more to eat or drink. “Still trying to get me drunk, I see.”

“Hardly. Just want to always have what you want.”

“Haha, sure. If it’s any consolation, I do feel a bit of a buzz.”

“Want some water?”

“That would be great, thanks.”

Kogami struggles to get up, pulling a laugh out of Akane.

“Need a bit of a push, old man?”

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll remember how you mocked me when your bones are brittle, too.”

On his feet he feels surprisingly steady, and after a glass of water, he feels refreshed. He returns to the living room, where he finds her sitting on the couch, arms draped on the backrest with legs extended.

“Got any room for me?”

She smiles, taking the glass of water and folding her legs. “Should have bought a bigger couch.”

“I fit here just fine, and look,” he sits close enough, mirroring her posture, “so do we.”

Akane says nothing, drinking silently. She can see him staring with a pensive gaze, to which she responds with a raised brow after handing the glass back to him.

“What?”

“Nothing. Can’t remember what we talked about last.”

“Blonde or IPA.”

“Ah yeah, that one.”

“And your preference is?”

“Blonde. And not just because you liked it.” He places the empty glass on the coffee table, eyeing the rest of his living room and is surprised to see it’s not as messy as he thought. The notable turquoise packet shines in his eyes; he hasn’t had a smoke since they arrived. Maybe now’s the time.

“Kogami-san.”

He lights a cigarette, grabbing the ashtray before returning to his seat, facing her. “Yeah?”

Akane pauses, leaning against the couch and staring at the hand on her lap.

“Why didn’t you tell me you also got hurt?”

“Huh.”

Confusion spreads across his face for a brief moment, before he realizes what she meant. Kogami chuckles, taking a long drag and turning his head away to blow out the smoke.

“I was already better then. Didn’t think it mattered anymore.”

“To you, maybe.”

He shrugs, shot to sobriety in a matter of seconds. “Yeah, maybe.”

As he takes another drag, flicks the ashes on the tray, the smoke dissipates in the air between them; Kogami thinks it’s a shroud he can hide behind.

Akane looks back with an honest, patient gaze; a world of a difference from their circumstances around the same time hours ago, the phrase darkest before dawn have since taken another meaning to him.

“I thought I was gonna lose you,” he simply says, brushing off his sentiment with a simple poke at the tip of her nose. “We owe Shion one.”

She smiles softly, finding herself yearning for something unexplainable, far-reaching from the back of her mind, buried so deeply in the depths of her heart. The steps she made to reach here are murky at best, driven in search for answers, or questions, that she never dared to ask.

“What would you have done if…”

Kogami raises his brow mid-puff, relaxing his lip so that the stick sits precariously inside his mouth. He pulls it out, smoking through his teeth.

“If you didn’t make it?”

“Yes.”

“Logic dictates that I’d have died as well,” he says, a bitter laugh escaping him. “Romantic.”

“You mean tragic, right?” Akane pauses, weighing her words but pushes on anyway. “And if by some reason you still survived and I didn’t?”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference,” Kogami says, snuffing out his cigarette on the ashtray and placing it back on the coffee table. “I’d have died regardless.”

He leans back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “I would have never forgiven myself.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“Good. I welcome your ghost to haunt me any time.” He laughs, having absolutely no doubt this will happen. “But that’s irrelevant. We’re here now, aren’t we?”

Akane nods, realizing this isn’t their first brush with death. This time, there’s no one to chase, and no place to run. The next step doesn’t exist, nor does the inevitable parting.

Always, when they’re close like this, she throws caution to the wind. Unnecessarily brave, reckless and willing; their relationship has been cast with just as many unknowns as it is that they both undeniably and mutually understand something fundamental about each other.

Is it because she’s always known he would be there, hoped that they would see each other again? No, that can’t be the answer and she knows it. What she doesn’t know is a deep, dark ocean, one she’s not sure she wants to swim in. Not like this.

Still, as Kogami reaches for her, lacing his fingers between the spaces of hers; calloused, strong, a touch of his own, Akane finds herself in the clutches of confusion and shaken resolve. The question, pushed to the surface, will afford her no peace unanswered, so she asks, tracing the pad of her finger to the back of his hand.

***

Akane is honest; grappling in darkness she subjected herself to. In the absence of being told what to do, she has given herself a key that opens many doors; doors she doesn’t know which to choose or where they lead. Like before, he counters with persuasion, unrestrained.

He plays along, fingers slipping beyond her palms, beneath the fabric of her long sleeves, tickling. He’s no longer in the Denial room, nor is he in denial, but the goal is the same, albeit unspoken. He cheats, opening his eyes when they’re cheek to cheek.

“Ask me.”

It comes out as a plea. They’re alone; his heart is in danger of completely giving in to his desire, blinding, like the selfishness in the past that drove his bouts of revenge. He can see the outcome even before it happens; his inability to turn away from his whims, insistent on unearthing what he knows has always been there. What he knows is a part of her that will always be his.

“Akane.”

Her breath hitches at the sound of her name, like it’s sacred, revered. Not an answer, just a call, pushing her to the edge of the cliff, head-first, diving.

“Please.”

***

Eyes closed, mouth open, letting go in exchange for the feeling and the taste, Akane gives what she couldn’t; a kiss once out of reach, a piece of herself hidden away, made real within the walls of this room.

It’s hunger on his lips, heat from his fingertips, wave after wave, crashing towards rocks on the shore. She clings to him, overwhelmed, switched powerful even as he pulls her above his lap, drinks her like he’s parched, every second she loses leverage, exposed in a raging storm.

He all but tears off her clothes, lapping at her skin, unbridled, demanding, no shame as he grinds her over his hardness, coaxing a moan from her lips. Smiling against her collarbone, his breath comes in hot puffs as he trails down her chest, busying his fingers where she’s already wet. She can hardly believe herself; it’s like she’s drifted from one dream after another, a fragile heart, seeking for home.

“Touch me,” he murmurs, guiding her shaking hands below, forehead resting over hers, a moment’s respite after the barrage of sensations. She knows he’s barely holding back, and only for her sake, understands his unveiling with every touch of her hand. He hisses in her mouth with the first stroke, returns the favor and slips his fingers inside.

Memories scatter like glitter in her vision as another takes hold, persistent, strong, like the man she’s given into. Kogami licks a stripe up the column of her neck, biting her chin, knocking her teeth as he moves for another kiss, unlike her weak fingers that can only claw at his buttons, closed fist only capable of a tease.

As her back hits the carpeted floor, she loses track of the proceedings, merely distracted by the feel of his scars underneath her fingertips, the dips and planes of hard muscle, sliding against her skin. Kogami thrusts like he knows what she can take, grunting in her ear as she claws harsh lines across his back; kisses her knowing she’s running out of air. He’s frantic, cleaving space like he wants to dig her into the ground, raising her legs so he can get in, deeper.

She throws her head back, walls pulsing, thighs quaking, silent scream swallowed in a moment the tears start welling in her eyes. Kogami kisses her as he comes, coating slick in her walls, driving his hips like he wants to plug their spend and keep it there, clutching her small frame, his to care, his to protect.

His, to love.

***

“You’re crying,” he says, hovering above her with worried eyes. “Did I hurt you?”

“N-no.” Akane sniffles, blinking the moisture away. “It’s nothing.”

“What’s wrong?” he whispers.

Akane shakes her head, laughter bubbling out of her when she feels his tongue dart out, licking her tears. Sliding a hand down his chest, she closes her eyes again, buoyed by the heavy beating beneath her palm. His warmth has her smothered, caged in his arms, enraptured by his kiss. She only has time to savor, to catch her breath, and find herself looking back in the softness of his gaze.

Unsatisfied, he knows it’s not the time but makes feeble attempts anyway; planting soft kisses over her cheeks, down her neck, below her chin.

“You’re heavy!” She giggles; a contradiction with her legs wrapped around his hip.

“Should I get off, then?”

“Your belt buckle is poking my ass. Maybe do something about that,” she says, laughing as she looks over his shoulder to see the beer bottles all toppled over. “Didn’t even notice that.”

“Can I be so bold and say I’m glad we didn’t?”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Which head?” he jokes, biting her bottom lip before separating from her so he can take off his pants.

Akane rolls to her side, sighing. At least she’s not crying anymore.

“We’ll get cold down here.”

“Isn’t that what body heat is for?”

He smiles, grabbing his jacket from the couch and unfurls it to cover her. Lying down on his back, he pulls her flush against him.

“Gotten over that, have we?”

“Hmm?” Akane yawns, tracing the bullet scars on his chest, not paying attention. “Can you tell me what happened here?”

“Wrong place, wrong time,” Kogami says, stroking her back. “Got off the boat on the port of Hanoi, they thought I was a smuggler. Lucky for me someone had the mind to actually ask before continuing to shoot me, but I was three bullets in at that point.”

His laugh grates his own ears, though the memory is a little easier to swallow now. In the end, all roads led him back here. He stays silent, noticing her fingers slow to a stop. Yesterday has all but dissipated in the wake of it all, and he fears that if he closes his eyes, the morning will snatch away his greatest dreams.

So he stays awake for as long as he can, watching her breathe until his body succumbs to sleep.

***

#volition #kouaka #shizuaka

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 16:19:15

volition

previous chapters - IX (ao3)

a/n: the simple way of explaining the potential tw would be that the act is consensual, but it reaches a point that she is not able to stop something from happening. to skip, it starts at the section after “thrown stone, a fatal blow” (start), and ends the next section, search “the pad of his thumb” to jump to it.

“Hello, Shion-san!”

“Akane-chan! I’ve been waiting for your call! New number?”

Akane laughs, realizing she is still using Shizuka’s phone. He left already, waving at her while she was still speaking to Kogami. Their home screens look so alike; standard background, likely unchanged since purchase. She never had the time, and apart from a select few, her contacts reach her mostly through the holo device, currently sitting with her phone on the nightstand.

“No… this isn’t mine.”

Shion hums, picking up Akane’s slight hesitation. “Is this your lover’s, by any chance?”

“I was using his phone earlier and I just kept using it. He had your number, too.”

“I’d be flattered if only he wasn’t taken,” Shion teases. “Before I interrogate you, how are you feeling, my dear?”

“Much better! Thank you so much for patching me up,” she says, relaxing against soft pillows, where she is joined by Yuzu.

“No pain?”

“None. Will you tell me what happened? I don’t remember anything.”

“I’m not surprised. You were unconscious when you arrived and your man never gave you a chance to wake up in the infirmary.”

“Well,” she smiles, stroking Yuzu’s ears, “I can’t say I have any objections.”

“Oh, I’m sure. Poison gases are a tricky thing, but at least the composition of this one was something I was familiar with. You looked worse, but Kogami didn’t look any better.”

“I spoke to him earlier, he never told me that.”

“Let’s just say the difference between the two of you is not that much. He succumbed to the effects of the poison a few minutes from arriving; it was a good thing your car was intercepted by Division 2 and escorted safely.”

“He spared me the details.”

“To be fair, the details may be a little murky for him, too. That, or he probably feels responsible, which I’m sure is not news to you.”

“No, indeed.” Akane sighs, sinking deeper into the pillows. “But I’m glad you got us back, Shion-san. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Oh, honey. I am so relieved that everything worked out. I couldn’t be happier hearing your voice again. You can just take it easy, I heard your man isn’t going to let you work for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, he just left a few minutes ago.”

“Leaving his phone to you, wow. Either he has another phone or he just absolutely trusts you won’t snoop in his call logs or photo albums. Would you dare?”

“I wouldn't… and he’s shown it to me before, his albums, I mean.” Akane giggles, remembering blurred photos of Yuzu in various states of playfulness, or those candid, badly-taken photographs of her when she’s asleep or not looking. Come to think of it, they don’t have a photograph together…

“I don’t think there’s anything new there, he doesn’t take a lot of photos, anyway.”

“Really, now? Well, let’s see, maybe I can change that. Anyway, I’m glad he’s not there, you don’t have to hold back.”

Akane holds back a smile, guessing what she means. “What would you like to know?”

“Well, everything! Listen, I know you’ve been very busy but maybe next time it wouldn’t hurt to update me on your love life, you know I’ve been following it like a hawk all these years.”

Akane burst into laughter. “You mean the lack of it?”

“You silly girl! Precisely why this was such a momentous occasion! How else was I supposed to know you nabbed the most eligible bachelor in town?”

“It hasn’t been that long,” she reasons, acknowledging the irony of practically living with him despite that fact. “Sorry I haven’t had the time to tell you about it. I was caught off guard and… swept away. Cheesy as it may sound.”

“Well, you’ve been working alongside each other for a while now. Plus, he’s handsome, he’s rich, what more could you ask for?”

“I can’t deny, he is a sight,” she chuckles. “We’ve really gotten to know each other, and regardless of my feelings, I do admire him a lot. Plus, we understand each other quite well.”

“Isn’t there a quote about that? Love is looking in the same direction and shit?”

“I wish I knew!”

“You sound happy, my dear. That’s the most important thing. Also, it’s not like I’m totally surprised, just that I was sidetracked back then thinking you were actually dating Kogami.”

“Hey, I didn’t confirm that.”

“But he was definitely putting hickeys on you, huh?”

Akane buries her face in her hand, groaning. “It just happened! I couldn’t stop him immediately.”

“Oh dear, that sounds like trouble but that’s Kogami for you. So who’s the better lay?”

“Shion-san!”

Shion’s laughter rings through her ears, and despite the teasing, there is no one else she would rather speak to about things like this..

“Oh, I missed you!”

“Me too, honey. I’m going to pretend you’re not trying to deflect my question and be patient about it.”

“I’m not sleeping around.”

“I figured,” Shion says, smiling. “But in case you do, I’d like an update!”

“You know I can’t resist you, so of course, you will know. How are you doing? And how is Yayoi-san?”

“Yayoi’s fabulous, as usual. She’s out right now, working on some interviews for the special report for the Tokyo Pulse about the new jobs that were created since last year.”

“Interesting! Thanks for telling me, I’ll be sure to get a copy. Any date on your wedding, then?”

“Not yet, we’re on the fence about when, since she’s getting a whole lot of work at the moment while I’m just winding down and trying to set up my own practice. We’re both thinking maybe we should set a date so that we can block off any work that’s to come. Here I thought I was just going to have a stress-free life.”

“A friend of mine, Kaori, still had to deal with a lot of stuff despite hiring a wedding coordinator. It’s the furthest from being stress-free, I think!”

“Yeah, but I have no doubt that it will work itself out eventually. At least we’re on the same page.”

“Indeed. Do I have an invite?”

“Silly question! You even have a plus one, my dear.”

“Thank you. He seemed to like you, kept reminding me to give you a call.”

“Well I’m glad I made an impression. You know I never expected to be so blown away by… the intensity of his concern for you.”

“He is really sweet, sometimes only to me. I’m becoming a little spoiled, I think.”

“Don’t say that. I love seeing you loved and taken care of, my dear. It’s been long overdue.”

“Thank you, Shion-san. Listen, I’ll come over sometime next week when my schedule’s less full.”

“No pressure, my dear. I’m just a call away. Now go back to rest and maybe you’ll wake up to something nice.”

Akane raises her brow. “Hmm?”

“Just wait for it. I’ll speak to you again soon. Bye-bye!” Shion makes kissing noises on the other end, to which Akane imitates rather weakly before giggling and hanging up.

Chiyo peeks by the door, waiting for Akane to place the phone on the nightstand before speaking.

“Would you like to have your lunch in bed, Miss Akane?”

“Oh no!” Akane gets up, startling Yuzu. “Sorry, Yuzu! I’ll take a shower after, so I’d rather eat at the table.”

“I’ll set it up for you, then.”

***

With two meetings done, Shizuka feels the weight of his feet drag him through the floors of the CID. After being gone for four hours, the amount of communication that went through since has been overwhelming, and he hasn’t even read half of it. He’s already chosen to keep tonight free, canceling meetings outside of his duties and wanting to spend more time with Akane while she’s still recovering. There’s work waiting tomorrow, for the two of them, but he’s here and she’s not; he knows exactly where he wants to be.

The CID’s fitness center is usually empty during mid-afternoon shifts. Teams are busy, dealing with paperwork or out on the field handling cases less critical, more nuisance. It’s a strategic place they used to meet up often to throw ideas at each other; Shizuka watching over her as she does rounds on the treadmill, Akane handing him a towel when he emerges from a few laps in the pool. He has the power to lock the place down when he feels necessary, but they’re mostly left alone if they happen to share the space with anyone. In hindsight, perhaps he really hasn’t been as discreet as he thought.

Shizuka follows the sound of punches, muffled grunts and shuffling on the sparring room floor. Kogami looks nothing like someone who had just got out of a hospital bed; hard lines drawn out with every stretch of pure muscle, glistening with sweat, the scars on his chest and torso littered like the least aesthetic of tattoos, impossible beauty landing hit after hit with each effortless blow. The sparring drone, recently upgraded thanks to Ignatov’s inputs, probably on the highest setting, is taking quite the beating, even as his presence in the room has Kogami pulling his punches.

“I take it you’re feeling a lot better?” Shizuka asks, standing on the edge of the floor and picking a place on the wall to lean on.

Kogami kicks the drone’s torso, sending it flying to the other end, buzzing with static as the hologram breaks down and turns off. The drone controller logs the results of his workout, confirming that it’s completely destroyed, judging by the dents on the metal and the amount of red stats on the screen.

“What are you doing here?” Kogami picks up the drone, dragging it across the floor so he can park it on the charging docks; a useless gesture considering the state of it.

“I was going to thank you.”

Kogami raises his brow, grabbing a towel on the counter to wipe himself. He never deluded himself into thinking this man considers him important enough to waste precious minutes of his day.

“Was.”

“Indeed. I’ve told you before, I expected you’d be an asset to the team.”

“I don’t have enough drugs left in me to exercise the kind of patience you think I have,” he says, hanging the towel over his shoulders. “Cut the bullshit, will you?”

“Or what? Gonna punch me like what you did with that drone?”

Kogami laughs, casting a glance at the drone before meeting his eyes. “The drone would have held out much better.”

“Not something I expected to hear from someone whose strength wasn’t able to prevent Akane from ending up in the state she was in, but I suppose you can’t take the brawl out of the man.”

In an instant, the smug is wiped from Kogami’s face, the pieces falling into place in his head.

“This what you came here for?”

“No. I don’t get to dance around protocols like you do. So whose idea was it to drink on the job?”

“Hers.”

“And you just let her.” Shizuka isn’t asking, nor is he hiding the menace in his voice. “Akane isn’t immaculate, but I was rather hoping you’d have a bit of sensitivity when her safety is concerned.”

“You think people die from one drink?”

“Are you sure you want to be asking that after what happened this morning?”

“Then why the fuck are you talking to me?” Kogami steps forward, relishing the satisfaction of looking down at someone whose posture more than makes up for his deficiency in height.

“Because I expected you would keep her safe!”

“Yeah, well sorry to disappoint. You and I both.”

Kogami turns away grabbing his things and heading towards the showers. “Leave her out of it, just say it’s all my fault.”

“You’re an idiot if you think she will allow that. I’m not reporting it.”

“Now that’s a perk. What’s it gonna cost me?”

“Nothing.”

Kogami smirks. “Don’t lie. What do you want?”

“Leave us alone.”

“No. Next request.”

“Why you think you’re in the position to demand is beyond me.”

“It’s not a demand. I don’t have to do anything now that you’ve revealed your hand. Weren’t you supposed to be good at games? Or am I making you reckless, too?”

Shizuka responds with a cold stare, leaning away from the wall and smoothing the creases on his suit.

“If you endanger her one more time, I will personally make sure you never work with her again.”

Kogami acknowledges the open threat, choosing to play with fire now that he’s found a chink in his armor.

“Do try. I urge you. Now if you’ll excuse me, my balls are sweaty and I’d like to shower.”

“I don’t need to remind you to stay in your car when you join Irie and Arata tonight.”

“The Bureau Chief just saved my ass from suspension, so I’ll be a good boy,” Kogami says, using his water bottle to wave back. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you just didn’t want us to be suspended together.”

“You’re fucking low, you know that?”

He pauses in his tracks, staring at Homura’s reflection on the glass door. “Someone has to be, Sir. You’re too high above ground.”

***

Akane opens her eyes for the second time, to amber skies bathing the room in a fiery glow. Unlike earlier, she is more refreshed, ready to jump out of the bed and move around. Outside the door, she can hear Yuzu softly whining at Shizuka’s reprimand, only half-serious, judging by his tone.

“You’ve really gotten used to being disobedient when I’m not looking, huh?”

Shizuka enters the room, surprised. “Did we wake you?”

She shakes her head. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you.” He crosses the space, sitting beside her on the bed to give her a kiss. “Are you hungry? We can order food, go out or have Chiyo make us something.”

Akane sighs against his lips, smiling. “I’m not hungry, but I’ll join you if you want to eat.”

“Same here. I brought home some cake yesterday, maybe we can have that later. How are you feeling?” He strokes his thumb above her cheek, gaze filled with concern.

“I’m all good,” she says, holding his hand. “You’ll age really quickly with all that worrying.”

He chuckles; jokes about aging don’t quite sit well with him just yet. It’s her face that reassures him; bright smile, glowing skin, she breathes anew, giggling against the crook of his neck when he picks her up to take her out of the bedroom.

“I have a few things to do, just need to approve some stuff and then I’m all yours. Where would you like me to deposit you?“

"Big couch in the living room. I’ll read a book or something.”

“Sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

“Yes. I’ll holler if I’m hungry.”

“Alright.” He lays her down on the couch, Yuzu right on his heels, wagging his tail. “Our noble steed will keep you company, I’ll be in the office.”

Akane smiles, her gaze lingering as he shrugs off his suit jacket on the way to his office. Grabbing the tablet reader from the coffee table, she pats the couch for Yuzu to join her and scrolls through the digital library to find a book to read.

***

After a couple of hours, she’s back in the bedroom, unfurling the ribbon of a large white box. On top of the crisp paper is a card, a message from its sender, undeniable now that she’s seen the distinctive shade of the lipstick-marked signature.

You’re lucky I know how to hack my way to find out your address. Enjoy your evening, honey!

P.S.

Yayoi also shares the gift but just to be clear, this is my idea.

Akane smiles, excitedly unwrapping the paper only to freeze at the contents inside. With a gasp, she lifts the soft material from the box: a bright red lace chemise, intricate embroidery that barely covers what it’s supposed to cover, flimsier and shorter than all her nightgowns. Blushing, she purses her lips, the light fabric sliding like liquid between her fingers. The matching bottom is just as short on lace, especially on the ass, though she’s not so prude as to know that’s practically the point. Unsurprisingly, it seems that once again, Shion has sized her up perfectly.

It’s a nice sentiment, definitely something she might wear…

Shizuka startles her, knocking three times before poking his head through the door. Akane scrambles to put the lingerie back in the box, caught in the act with her hands digging inside the box, and trying to fold the paper over her gift.

He raises his brow, curious. “Ordered something?”

“Ah, no.” Akane looks down, tucking her hair behind her ear. “It’s a gift. From Shion-san.”

Closing the door behind him, he leans on it, crossing his arms as he studies her bashfulness from across the room. “What kind of gift? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“Oh it’s nothing, just,” she shrugs, averting his gaze as if the state of his rolled up sleeves and waistcoat is not compounding her current predicament. Voice soft, she pokes at the hem of her shirt. “She thought it was nice to send me lingerie.”

“Really?”

Akane nods, blushing.

“Would you like to show me?”

Her hesitation is puzzling, and yet she understands the uncharted territory; the lack of impulse in the moment, unlike times before when her confidence and instincts, reckless as they may often be, usually take hold. She slips her fingers in the straps and slowly lifts the chemise out of the box. As always, he is better at schooling his expression.

“No, I meant,” he pauses, making sure her eyes are on his as he gazes at the door of the dressing room.

”Show me.”

***

The material feels smooth on her skin, hugging her where it should, light and breezy around her middle, snug over her ass. Lingerie has always been Shion’s gift of choice; Akane has a few pairs at home, practical ones she can wear daily. One can say this is an exception and the first time she’s wearing one to show.

She comes back to the bedroom, lingering by the door, one arm crossed over her front as Shizuka stares intently, like a curious observer.

“You don’t like it?”

“I do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She reaches for him, crossing the space to meet him in the middle.

Shizuka catches her hand, but doesn’t take a step forward, reading what she’s trying to do. Raising his arm, he twirls her slowly, circling around her with a heated gaze. Akane responds, tentative, keeping his pace, a smile tugging at the edge of her lips.

He keeps his distance when he faces her again, hypnotizing her with the movement of his eyes over her body, stoking her desire as he brings the tip of his finger to the edge of her jaw, sliding down to cup her chin.

“You seem to be paying far too much attention to what you want to do next.”

Biting her lip, Akane is kept at bay with his hold. “Isn’t that the point?”

“You don’t know, do you?” He pauses, lighting up as an idea occurs to him. “Give me a moment.”

Shizuka returns, wheeling the full-length mirror from the dressing room near the bed. Puzzled, Akane takes his hand when he offers it, standing in front of the mirror to gaze at her reflection. He stays behind, leaning over her shoulder with the same hungry gaze.

“Look at you,” he whispers, smiling. “I can’t believe I get to see you in various states of dress.”

A laugh bubbles out of her as she turns her head. “Or undress.”

He tuts, gesturing at her to face the mirror. “Come on. Show me how beautiful you are.”

Akane softly gazes back at his reflection, warmth blooming in her chest. Being scantily clad has never made her feel more vulnerable, even to someone who’s seen her naked so many times before. It’s always easy to feel beautiful wearing a nice dress, dolled up and bejeweled.

And yet he looks at her like she really is.

Putting on a brave face, she lets her gaze roam over a body she barely pays attention to. It functions well, is never sick, fits most clothes off the rack. Strong for a small frame, she can stand tall and walk with confidence, command attention when she needs to. Her thoughts pull a soft laugh out of her; when it comes to Shizuka, she doesn’t need to command anything.

She likes her eyes, loves her hair, plucking at the short strands to tuck them behind her ear. Her hand drops to the middle of her chest, remembering something missing there, lets her fingers trace the embroidered lace over her breasts. The back of her hands slide, following the dip of her waist and over at her hips as she observes, curiously, slowly turning, staring down at her shape. Planting her hands on his chest, she looks back at the frilly lace snuggling over the curves of her ass, shifting her weight on either foot, pointing her toes before pivoting to face the mirror, and all the while, Shizuka watches mesmerized in her peripheral vision, hands clasped behind him. She leans back, resting her head over his shoulder and sighs, satisfied.

“Penny for your thoughts?” His voice drops to a whisper, making her tilt her head to follow the sound.

Smiling, she strokes a finger down the line of his jaw, mimicking him earlier. Their gazes meet in the mirror, simmering with desire, feeding off on each other’s allure.

“Won’t you touch me, Shizuka?”

He releases his grip, opens his palms to his sides so she can see.

“I want to touch you how youwant.”

His words are undemanding, yet playful, an invitation. She takes his hands, guiding them as she bends down and he follows, taking them on a trail from the top of her foot and ankles, slowly sweeping up the inside of her legs; a homage to his gentle caresses that she’s taken to heart. They stand, Akane wrapping his arms around her and drawing her bottom flush against his hardness.

“Ah, you caught me.”

Giggling, she darts her tongue to lick over his lips, drawing a line with their hands to slide between her legs while she places the other over her chest. Drunk with lust, she watches him swallow when their fingers meet slick above soft material and lace, exhaling against his open mouth.

“And now, you’ve caught me.”

Akane kisses him, moaning when he starts moving on his own accord. He sits them down the bed, splaying her legs on either side, thumbing her nipples while the other hand unbuckles his trousers and pulls himself free. Shizuka catches her hand again, dipping their fingers, pushing, testing the fabric, making Akane gasp as the heat rises intensely between them. He coaxes her to look at their reflection, planting kisses over her shoulder as he plays her like a string, messing her slip, making her delirious.

“What do you want?” He murmurs, hot in her ears, barely restraining with the sight in front of him, and the silk of her heat between their digits.

“You. In me,” she chants softly, eyes closed, like a prayer. “Please, love… please.”

***

Akane doesn’t know.

His heart is choking from affection. He can’t bear it; reduced to nothing but this all-consuming love, his lifeline, his light.

She can have anything, everything she wants.

Closing his lips over her mouth, he swallows her plea, collecting her mewls when they finally meld together; a treasure he won’t sell, a secret he won’t share.

***

They move, tangled, synched, her heart swelling, warm inside, hot all over. When she thinks she’s used to him, he pulls the rug beneath her, dousing her in excitement, igniting her with ecstasy, reeling her in with tenderness.

She breathes him, his name, his touch, in the same vein as pleasure boasts, aching to be heard from the depths of her throat, the sounds of passionate and unbridled, unstoppable force. They are one.

She loves…

***

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, kissing her neck, trailing his fingers down her belly button, “and sexy.”

Akane giggles, finding his lips, trying to speak between kisses. “You are… more.”

“Shhh. I’m not, my love. I’m only yours.”

They kiss, and kiss, moaning in each other’s mouths, stealing each other’s breaths. He cages her in his arms, small frame, fiery heart. His hands are everywhere, electric current, a thread tying them both. She’s greedy now, over her reservations, bowing to her needs; plunged herself into the sensations, ensnared, caught up, eyes closed. In this dance, she is at her most graceful; he will not deny the privilege to witness, casting his gaze at their reflection, aroused with their motions, in love with their form.

She’s close.

Enchanted, she clings to every part of him her hands can touch, chasing. He sends his fingers down, circling her bud as he plants kisses to the side of her neck, when something catches his eye.

Something so strange, Shizuka shakes his head; it’s his mind, playing tricks on him. It can’t be real. He didn’t do it.

He doesn’t.Never there.

His movements slow as she whines against his cheek, deafening; something’s ringing in his ears. Akanes surrenders, leaning against him, exposing her neck.

And there it is, in full view. Thrown stone, a fatal blow.

Hurt, like he’s never felt before.

***

Something heavy sinks inside him as he wrestles her off and sits her to face him. His fingers, deft, trained, find their way, replacing what was there; the pain spreads, his mind protecting him, his body protecting her, as he compensates with a fierce and passionate, most devastating kiss.

Her thighs begin to quake, misled as she reciprocates with touch and tongue; he breaks away, pressing against her cheek, eyes hot, voice broken as he speaks.

“Why… how could you do this to me?”

He presses on, breaking, bringing his mouth to the bruise, breathing over something he did not create while his hands make work, her body responding faster than her mind ever could.

“Wait.”

Her walls close in; rapture, pressure, coming.

“How could you?”

“Shizuka, wait!”

He can’t.

And she can’t stop him.

Hot.

Wet.

In pleasure, spilling, over his wrists as she writhes over him, and in pain, over the bruise where in tears, he bites, her belated cry matching his not a moment later.

***

The pad of his thumb smoothes over the dents on her skin, to no avail. Numb has traveled and spread, cold cast over his eyes, ice over his heart. A hollow nothingness, only the next, and the next step, like chains linking in his mind. He calls for Chiyo, the drone responding to his voice, dismantled into codes and numbers; no scale to measure the aftermath.

“Change the covers, clean this up. Put the mirror back where it belongs.”

Akane clutches the lapels of his waistcoat, shaking, tears falling down her face.

“Where is this linked?”

She doesn’t answer, so he lifts her chin with his fingers, still wet with her spend.

“Where?”

“M-my phone.”

“Chiyo, charge her phone,” he says, standing up and laying her down on the bed.

“Yes, Master.”

He doesn’t look back, doesn’t bother concealing his state, still exposed, still hard. Soles cold on the bathroom floor, he strips, mindless, swiping the control panel to the coldest setting, the highest pressure, punching the wall as the spray hits hard on his shoulders.

***

Shizuka returns to the bedroom, dripping wet. He picks her up, sets her down, strips her in the quiet, tempers the water and cleans her; thorough, gentle, mechanical. He dries them both, combs her hair, puts ointment over the bite mark before carrying her back inside. His own wounds, he ignores; this pain is incomparable.

The room, good as new, feels nothing but. Yuzu is sleeping by the window, not a clue in the world.

She’s hugging a pillow between them, sniffling against it as he lies down on his side of the bed. They stare at each other for a long time, counting the seconds between each breath, waiting for the moment the rise and fall of their bodies will sync.

“What happened?”

Truth is, he doesn’t want to know. Self-preservation and disassociation; strengths ingrained even before they met, seizes him at his weakest, most brittle state. He can’t answer to the sorrow in her eyes, has no solution, no salve; just empty hands, broken heart.

“He kissed me. When we…” Akane sighs out, exhausted, pained. “When I was over at his mother’s last weekend.”

His mind supplies the moments; her slight panic when he kissed her there when he woke her that morning, and since then, concealed, right under his nose. He shuts off, not interested in the details, save for one. The knife to twist, stabbed deep.

“And did you kiss him back?”

“No. I asked him to stop, and he did. It never happened again.”

Truth speaks in her steady gaze, her iron-clad conviction. The tears have stopped falling, and the only one crying inside has descended somewhere unreachable, lost and betrayed. If it were easy and simple, if only it didn’t hurt…

“I’m s—”

“You should have kissed him back.”

Akane’s face falls in disbelief. “What did you say?”

He’s taken the knife out, and now he’s bleeding. It’s time to face the facts, to stop the dance while the music is still playing.

***

“If you did,” he says, at his most cowardly, all for the ease of pushing her away. Maybe this is his punishment for thinking he’s the newest hero in her story, the one to make all her pasts irrelevant, re-writing her future. Truths must be told, even in bitterness. “You would have known.”

“Known what?”

“You’d have known why you needed to hide this from me.”

For the first time, he casts his gaze on her neck, knowing now where to look. So cold, it makes her shiver; his warm light, snuffed out, nowhere to be found. Tears drip over the bridge of her nose, on wet eyelashes, a damp patch on the pillowcase. Why is he still holding her after dropping her from so high?

This isn’t how she wanted things to go, but the sour taste of his insult rises like bile at the back of her throat, and the touch of his hand, resting above hers like an afterthought, a robotic gesture, belongs to that of a stranger.

“I was faithful,” she says, a tone his stoic nature would be proud of. Setting her jaw, she slides her hand, turning away. “To onlyyou.”

Suffocating, rending, a crushing finality, only silence remains as the lights dim, casting darkness over the room, and shadows over her heart. The mattress dips, he mirrors her gesture; back to back.

No longer like lovers.

***

Half past one, moon high, starless night. She dresses quietly, takes her things from the nightstand, doesn’t look back.

“Miss Akane.”

If she wasn’t so emotionally drained, she’d have the energy to be startled as the drone approaches, handing her a small bottle.

“It’s for your eyes. Two to three drops each will instantly depuff and relax your muscles.”

“Oh. Thank you, Chiyo. I appreciate it.”

She holds the bottle over her eyes, blinking in the cool liquid. Along with her phone, she tosses everything in her handbag and heads to the foyer, slipping in her shoes.

“Should I tell the Master where you are going when he wakes up?”

The drone, capable of assessing physiological data and drawing conclusions from a set of predetermined algorithms, has likely chosen the most logical of questions to ask.

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Please take care, Miss Tsunemori.”

She opens the door, stepping out. “Thank you, Chiyo.”

“Come home safe!”

Akane looks down the hallway, walking towards the elevator. Logical steps. Calculated moves. Maybe that’s what it all comes down to.

***

“There he is. As scheduled.”

Arata yawns over the line, making Kogami laugh. “I have instructions to stay in the car. You can handle this, right?”

“Yeah, no worries. I got Irie with me. I expect to take him quietly, so it’s likely we can separate after and meet again tomorrow morning as usual. Maybe keep it low until after we leave.”

“Roger.”

Dropping the call, the passenger door opens, and a plastic bag is tossed on his lap; questionable contents at this time of night, treacherous clinking of glass, last night’s poison, and last night’s poisoned, flops down into the passenger’s seat.

“What the fuck?”

“Hi! Thought I’d drop by for a bit.”

Outside, he is momentarily distracted by Arata and Irie, playfully elbowing each other as they head to the warehouse. The trespasser, however, doesn’t seem to notice.

“This your kind of music?”

Kogami is snapped back to more pressing matters. “Ah, it’s just radio.”

“Which is based on your current listening. Don’t worry, I’m not judging! Alternative rock is nice, sometimes I just need a mood to listen to, though.”

Confused, he wonders if his age is impacting his deduction skills, or maybe he’s just not fully recovered, still trying to put two and two together as he stares at her from across the seat.

“No I mean, this really is radio,” he says, settling for the unsettled as he breaks into a smile. “They have a DJ, and yeah it is my kind of music, a lot of older stuff made when I wasn’t even alive. What the hell are you doing here?”

She shrugs. “Fear of missing out? I didn’t do anything the whole day.”

This tone, too light, overly cheerful. At two in the morning, two bottles of one cup sake and some custard pudding, sitting inside a plastic bag on his lap.

“How did you know we were here?”

“Stupid question.”

“Ah, yes. Hinakawa.”

“Bingo,” she reaches for the plastic bag, handing him the sake and taking hers.

Kogami feels like a punching bag, assaulted without defense, swinging from where it’s hung. “What are you doing?”

“Celebratory drink, for surviving!”

“You mean on duty, against the rules?”

“Whoa, good sir. Didn’t hear that from you last night.”

“And the good sir has learned his lesson.” He puts the sake back in the plastic bag, holding it open so she can put hers back in. “What the heck has gotten into you?”

She bursts into laughter before relenting, exchanging the sake for a custard pudding, fishing the bottom of the bag for the small spoons. “Fine. Here, my treat.”

“Jesus, Tsunemori. Is this what one day of no work does to you?” Kogami shakes his head, placing the bag between them.

“Yeah, kinda. Felt restless. Needed some air.”

“Don’t you have plenty on your apartment balcony?”

Akane pauses, sucking on the spoon. “Hm-mm.”

Soft custard, sweet caramel, a treat even for kings. She looks healthy; healed, something that just her voice wasn’t enough to completely reassure him. He would rather she have a full night’s sleep than stay up this late, but she’s the one sitting next to him right now, so that obviously wasn’t his call to make.

“Oh, so that’s him.”

Walking between Arata and Irie, the man is not cuffed, nor does he look insecure being escorted out of the warehouse by two CID officers. Kogami smirks, genuinely impressed.

“They just went in right when you came.”

“He’s very efficient, Arata. Helps he’s got someone as big as Irie there, too. They’re the good cop, ghetto cop duo, sometimes interchangeably,” she says, giggling. “Are they going to question him tonight?”

“Nope. Work starts tomorrow.”

Arata’s car drives away, and he silently finishes his pudding as one of his favorite songs plays on the radio. Her cup is discarded quickly; her speed at devouring sweets is definitely faster.

“Anticlimactic,” she sighs. “I thought we were gonna have a bit more action.”

“Careful what you wish for. There’s water in the glove box.”

“Thanks.”

Akane proceeds to down the whole bottle, making him laugh. He probably should have said that it’s the only bottle in the car.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” He starts the engine, holding the steering wheel and tapping to the beat. The streets, quiet and almost empty, are a distant scene from his delirious drive not twenty four hours ago. Feels like a lifetime, and now; Akane stares out the window, at the cars, and the buildings passing by.

Quiet.

Beautiful.

Alive.

He takes a longer route back to her apartment, humming along with his elbow resting on the car door, windows half down. The song ends and the next one plays, another favorite, as if the DJ knows he is listening..

Akane tilts her head to his direction, hearing his faint hum, his lips mouthing the lyrics.

“You can sing.”

He laughs, shrugging. “Not so sure about that.”

“That’s something I would say.”

As if she had not been looking out the window, it dawns upon her that they’re driving down her street. In a panic, she clutches his arm, startling him as the song sweeps to a chorus.

“I—” Akane pauses, heart caught in her throat as the sound blares in her ears, cathartic, waking her up.

“What is it?” Kogami slows, searching her gaze. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing,” she whispers, releasing her grip with a shaky laugh. “I don’t want to go—”

“My place, then.” Kogami looks at the road, where his gaze is supposed to be. She doesn’t answer, nor objects, and that thought swims in his head as he accelerates, forgetting the sound, and the song, fading into the background.

***

#volition #shizuaka #kouaka #tw dubious consent #the song is only youre the one by lifehouse #happy new year

#shizuaka #volition #hes in love with her your honor #i shall proceed to inhale this art for all eternity #psycho pass

Sun, 02 Jan 2022 17:45:11

byelz

Wed, 29 Dec 2021 03:20:57

volition

previous chapters - VIII (ao3)

Yayoi once told her that coming back to the CID was easy; maybe because she already had her own investigation going at the time that it felt like a natural progression. Shimotsuki requested her assistance, and she was happy to help. Happy to help herself, more like; extending work hours as if on charity when she spent it making out with her in the analyst’s room, or sneaking away during lunch breaks and overtime so they could make love in her bedroom. Shion tried to resist out of fear that she would affect her psycho-pass— futile attempts that flew over Yayoi’s head as she stripped off her lace thong and laid her down on the same couch that both the young inspectors sat on that morning.

Such trysts feel so far away now, but at least she is able to give Yayoi some good news.

Shion arrived at the CID almost the same time as Kogami’s car, escorted by Division 2, pulled up at the basement carpark. She examined Akane first, checking her vitals and conducting initial scans. Seeing Akane’s phone charging on the dashboard, she quickly lifted it from the dock and placed it in her pocket before the drones took her away. Kogami was in better shape, though only just. Since then, Shion had spent almost four hours administering treatment and ensuring they return to a stable state.

The nurse drone hands her a warm, damp cloth. She checks Akane’s vitals one more time, satisfied that she’s fully asleep.

“You scared me,” she whispers, wiping down the bits of caked blood on her cheek. “Yayoi probably would have broken up with me… and of course your muscle man over there would have skinned me alive.”

She softly tilts her head so she can get to the bottom of her jaw; had she not received initial data forwarded by Hinakawa, she would have thought Akane was punched in the nose with all the blood on her face. They didn’t even have time to change her clothes; her usually crisp white shirt is stained with drops on the front and smears on her collar the shade of reddish mud.

She can only imagine the panic Kogami must have felt. Too often they fall into a false sense of security, rejecting their mortality in the pursuit of truth and justice. Romantic, but borderline stupid.

Akane has grown ever brave and reckless, testing the limits and going overboard, not seeking to be a martyr but acting like one. Shion shakes her head; she had a moment not so long ago herself, it’s not her place to lecture anyone.

Besides, she’s yet to meet anyone who can talk Akane out of doing what she believes is right.

***

The door opens, startling her as Shimotsuki and another man she’s only seen in news and magazines walks in.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says, bowing.

A puzzling statement; she wasn’t expecting anyone, though perhaps she should have been. After all, he is the Bureau Chief.

His slow ascent upright is punctuated with a clear icing of his features; handsome man, tall and well-dressed, whispering, like he can’t help it.

Why are they in the same room?

“I am only one person,” Shion replies cheerfully, finally meeting his eyes. “It would have been harder to treat them separately.”

Sothis is Shizuka Homura; youngest Bureau Chief in the history of the MWPSB, heir to the Homura Clan, most eligible bachelor—according to the press. Not many are lucky enough to match their looks with their accolades, but this man is an exception, holding himself with such ease, without a single strand of hair out of place. The suit he wears likely costs an Inspector’s monthly salary, and she will bet an arm and a leg that he smells good, too. Not bad for a man responsible for derailing Shimotsuki’s dreams for a promotion; the same mysterious man that Akane had been working with before her imprisonment, the same man who, rumor has it, had her released.

Her eyes can only tell so much. Looks like her dear friend needs to fill her in.

He slowly approaches the foot of the bed. Shion watches the lightness of his feet, careful not to make a sound, and the minute details in the corners of his eyes as his gaze lands on Akane. His lips part, speechless for a moment, before he averts his gaze, as if to center himself.

“How is she?” He asks in a surprisingly clear tone.

For a moment, Shion thinks she must have imagined his degree of concern, but his apathy is short-lived when Shion reaches for Akane’s hand. He stares where they’re joined with a gaze she easily recognizes as longing, as if he would give anything to be the one holding her.

Shimotsuki stares pensively, but remains quiet in the corner of the room. So it seems this concern is not so much a secret, then.

“Please tell me everything.”

“Good news first.” Shion graciously smiles, letting go of Akane and handing the towel back to the nurse drone. She turns it off so it can park itself in the corner and be out of their way.

“She’s stable. They both are.”

He nods. “And?”

Brushing off her second sentence, his lack of concern for Kogami is quite amusing; sometimes men are so predictable.

“It’s a gas poison that would have been deadly if not treated. She must have directly inhaled a large amount of it; there were significant traces of it on her face based on the initial scans.”

“I concocted a specific mix of medication to lift the poison that had already converted in her bloodstream, and then used another drug to physically draw it out. She’s lost some blood, but that wasn’t an issue; there’s plenty of stock here and the transfusion was successful. I also injected a sedative so that she will sleep undisturbed for at least half a day.”

He swallows, apprehensive. “And the bad news?”

“Oh, I already said it. She’s practically useless until maybe mid-afternoon. With the drugs we have, normally poison gases are easily treatable with first aid. Patients can be up in a matter of an hour or two, but she’ll need a bit of time to get her bearings back when she wakes.”

In a moment of weakness, he lets relief wash over his features, hanging his head and trembling, hands in his pockets. He looks up with misty eyes, clenching his jaw.

“I have no plans to send her back to work today,” he says, turning slightly to Shimotsuki. “Have the team adjust around it, please.”

“Roger.”

“And cancel all my meetings today.”

Shimotsuki raises her brow. “You can’t. Three of those you absolutely need to be here in the afternoon.”

“The ones in the morning, then. I can still be reached at home but,” he sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “I can’t do this, Shimotsuki. Look at me.”

Deadpanned, Shimotsuki brushes off what she would normally have used as a means to take advantage, and relents, flicking her wrist to go over her calendar on the holo device.

“I can cover the ones in the morning. You can’t miss the ones in the afternoon, I’m sorry.”

“I’ll make do. Thank you.”

“I’ll reloop with Arata and redistribute the work with Ignatov’s team,” Shimotsuki says, casting a soft gaze at Shion. “Thank you for taking care of her. Kogami’s boss can’t be reached, so I’m going to say thanks on her behalf as well. You can leave as soon as you’re done.”

“You’re welcome. Yayoi says hi.”

Shimotsuki waves from the door, surprisingly serious despite the mention of Yayoi; perhaps she’s busy accumulating this man’s dues and will collect them someday.

“Thank you, Karanomori-san.” He bows again, voice shaking with emotion.

Rising to his full height, his moment of dishevel is replaced with a clean slate, stately and respectful. Shion acknowledges she has witnessed him in a moment very few are privy to, and she has a feeling the only other person is the one who owns his attention, currently indisposed.

“It’s nothing.”

After feeling a little bit cruel standing in the way of Akane’s bedside, she steps away and gestures for him to approach.

He doesn’t wait a second longer, two strides and he’s there. Shion pulls a chair for him, and feels immediately like an intruder when he takes her hand in his, closing his eyes as if in prayer, so she walks to Kogami’s bedside, checking his vitals on the screen..

“Can I take her home?”

Shion turns, realizing with a beat that this home is something they share, and that in hindsight, it was right that she made sure to put Akane’s phone in her pocket.

“Of course.”

“Anything I need to do when she wakes?”

“Not really,” she says, walking back. “There are no side-effects to the sedative, but she needs to sleep undisturbed so that she can fully recover. She’s going to want to get up and go, but if you can let her take it easy for a bit, that would help.”

He nods, glancing at her from their clasped hands.

“I really can’t thank you enough.“

"Oh my, look at you,” Shion giggles. “We’ve been friends for a long time, Akane and I. She isn’t a kiss and tell type, but I suppose it’s understandable.”

He averts his gaze, a little shy. “I fail miserably to the point of showing off, but it’s mostly among our team.”

“Don’t think that’s unchecked, mind you. Or was it because you knew I’m taking care of her?”

“She has spoken about you, yes.”

“All good, I hope?”

“Of course.”

He finally smiles, and Shion feels a little victorious at that.

“I’m not sure you’re aware but it’s always been common knowledge that Akane is the Bureau Chief’s favorite.” She winks, holding out her hand. “She calls me Shion-san.”

“I suppose I have to earn it, calling you the same.” He says, relinquishing his hold on Akane to shake her hand.

“Indeed,” Shion teases.

Soft hands. Crisp suit. Smooth skin. Beautiful hair. Once upon a time, Shion would have played around and flirted more persuasively, and even she is surprised by her own lack of bite. Just like her one-time attempt at Kogami some years ago, it’s very clear she probably isn’t his type.

Her type in men is not someone head over heels in love. Women, however, well that’s changed, too. Shion’s gone soft. Monogamous, even.

“Her phone is in her pocket, and as far as I know she didn’t bring anything in the car. I’ll sign her release and get someone to fetch her bag in the office”

“Thank you. No food restrictions, either?”

“No,” she heads towards the door, slowing down before it opens for her. “I know it’s not my place but…”

Shion casts a glance at Kogami, before meeting Homura’s gaze. “He will want to know about her when he wakes up. She’ll want to know, too. Keep that in mind.”

“As much as I don’t like him, I am reluctant to admit that I owe him now.”

“Listen, you both love the same girl, so start with something you have in common.”

“Asking for a world war, I see.”

“My, my, you’re funny,” she compliments in between laughter, wondering what other qualities Akane sees in him.

The door opens, and Shion looks back with a lightheartedness more reserved for her friend. “Since you’ve taken it upon yourself to ensure she’s got nothing to do the whole day, do remind her to call me, Chief.”

Homura nods, playfully using Akane’s hand to wave back.

***

Yuzu welcomes them at the door, bouncing on his paws, his furry tail wagging excitedly with each happy bark.

“Okay, okay. We’re home, hush.”

Shizuka chuckles, unable to gesture with his hands to calm him, making him ever grateful that Yuzu is such a smart and obedient dog.

“Come, let’s put her to bed.”

The lights turn on automatically as he passes by Chiyo, rolling away from the charging dock in the living room. He lets out a sigh once he reaches the bedroom, not bothering with the covers before gently laying her down. She’s not heavy, and he doesn’t take himself to be weak, but the strain in his arms after the elevator ride from basement to top floor, along with her bag slung over his shoulder, is saying otherwise.

Yuzu has taken his place by the bed, softly whining. Shizuka gives him a pat and hands Akane’s bag to Chiyo, who was silently lurking and waiting for instructions by the bedroom door.

“When you’ve put that away can you get me a hot towel, please? Then clean up the food in the dining room. You can cook her something nice later.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Akane sleeps peacefully, undisturbed by the slight commotion earlier or even the mess of her clothes. He threads his fingers through her hair, smiling. Gone for a night and yet sorely missed, she has stamped her place in his home in less than a week.

Shizuka steps in the closet, taking off his suit jacket and waistcoat, hanging them on the rack as he loosens his tie and rolls up his sleeves. He catches his reflection on the mirror; edgy, still, if only a little bit calmer now that she’s back home and safe. Shaking his head, he reminds himself she needs his full attention right now, grabbing a soft cotton shirt from his side of the wardrobe on his way out.

Stained and worn, pretty much everything is going to the bin save for her phone and holo device, which he places on the nightstand. He hopes there’s no attachment there, but at least he’s sure she won’t miss a dirty shirt, or a pair of stockings with a hole and long run lining the side of her leg. No matter, he can always replace them.

Chiyo hands him the towel, exchanging it with her discarded clothes. Starting from her forehead, he wipes her down, checking to see if she has any other injuries. The part of her arm where Shion stuck needles in is bandaged, and he leaves that alone, taking off her bra on his way down her chest and stomach. There’s a bruise on her left hip, and a small wound where her stockings were damaged. Satisfied, he cleans her legs and feet, massaging between her toes and kissing her ankles. He puts the shirt on her, feeling the weight in his chest lighten as he tucks her in, sinking with her in the mattress without shredding a single tear.

***

“Chiyo, take the towel away,” he says, sitting up to pull off his necktie. He places it on the nightstand, along with his holo device, tugging at the covers on his side of the bed. “Block all incoming calls for three hours, unless it’s from Kasei or Shimotsuki.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thanks, Chiyo.”

Shizuka settles next to her, taking her in his arms, linking his fingers over hers and placing them above his heart. This weight, he doesn’t mind, smiling against her crown and planting a kiss there. When she would normally snuggle against him in response, his lover now is like a doll, free to maneuver how he likes.

Exhaustion creeps in his body, his mind heavy and still reeling, jumping thought after thought, unable to move on. He still doesn’t know what happened, but he can’t accept that it couldn’t have been prevented… here he is again, overthinking to the point of unrest, and it aches that she can’t shake him out of it.

“You know something,” he murmurs, gazing down as if she can hear. “I thought that after everything, I didn’t have to bend over backwards when it came to the things that mattered to me. I feel so naive now hoping the outcome would be different.”

Shizuka steadies his hold, as if afraid someone invisible will snatch her away.

“I was on my way to the CID the moment I found out about you, but then they called me, telling me I needed to see them immediately. They knew what happened to you and had no reason to talk to me that early in the morning. No reason, and yet they made me choose, five minutes from the fork in the road.”

“As expected, whatever we spoke about, while important, could have waited. Almost four hours, as if they were waiting for me to walk out on them so that they can say I put you over my duty, holding you over my head because I am the Bureau Chief.”

“And I ended up doing so, didn’t I? Not knowing how you were doing but trusting that Kogami will be intercepted and assisted on his way back, and that Karanomori would be able to save you.”

“They think we’re toys, you and I,” he chuckles bitterly, eyes glistening, swirling his thumb inside her palm, his other hand stroking her back. His inabilities catch up to him like a speeding train, frustrated words tumble out of him, a pain that drives his untimely confession.

“I don’t know what I would have done if things didn’t turn out the way it did.” He whispers, swallowing down the guilt that eats away at him from the inside. “I’m not like your kind, Akane. I can’t shoot a gun, I can’t punch a man or knock them out. I can’t join you out there even when I know I risk losing you in the process.”

“But I can take the burden of dealing with them, even if they use you against me. I will let them drag me through the mud, I’ll be the wall in between that will keep them away. That, I can do.”

Akane’s breath hitches, startling him as she sighs out, a warm exhale over his shoulder. Shizuka smiles, captivated as he follows the little shifts in her body, tell-tale signs that she’s alive, full of life. He misses her fiercely, even when she lies sleeping in his arms, reminding him of what awaits, and all his other reasons. His gaze softens, landing on her parted lips. Once upon a time, he thought it impossible to sleep, let alone wake up with her in the same bed. Unable to help himself, he traces her mouth with his finger, stroking the edges, drawing a line down her chin, tilting it upwards, stealing a kiss.

“I love you.”

***

Kogami gazes up at a very familiar view; where long ago it would have been Tsunemori sitting on the chair next to his bed, his sluggish and dizzy state can’t mistake Gino’s familiar silhouette, busy with what looks like case files on his holo screen.

“Ah, you’re awake.”

“Tsunemori—where is she? Fuck,” he groans, trying to sit up but dropping back on his elbows as his vision spins. “Fucking hell.”

“She’s safe. Homura took her home.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? And who’s at home with her?” He clenches his jaw, scanning the room and wondering if he’s going to need a puke bucket soon.

“Relax,” Gino stands, grabbing a lollipop from the desk and handing it to him. “Karanomori said you might have this reaction when you wake up. Don’t make me put it in your mouth.”

Kogami doesn’t have the energy to argue; he tosses the candy back to him, sinking his head into the pillow.

“Open it. And tell me what I need to know.”

“I don’t have an answer, but I doubt that he’s left her alone. Homura is offline, I can only assume he’s with her,” Gino replies, handing back the unwrapped lollipop. “You’re surprisingly obedient today.”

He pops the candy in his mouth, making him squirm at the excessive sweetness.

“I’m not going to be if I don’t hear from her in a few minutes, Gino.”

“Don’t be an idiot. She’s recovering like you, she might not even be awake right now.”

“And Shion?”

“You don’t expect her to stay here, do you? She’s not a latent criminal anymore.”

“Yeah, fuck me, thanks for the brand new information,” he sighs, mildly surprised that his nausea is dissipating despite the near-diabetic levels of sugar. “Someone’s gotta tell me something more reassuring here.”

“I’d like to see you try to macho your way out of this bed.”

“Careful, Gino. The candy is working.”

“And what exactly are you going to do, huh?” Gino chuckles, shaking his head at his old friend’s apparent distress. Still, better to cover their bases and ensure he doesn’t do anything stupid. He takes out his phone and dials Karanomori’s number.

“He’s awake.” Gino snatches the phone before Kogami takes it. “I’m going to leave the room for a bit, I need to update Ignatov on something, and I’ll tell Hanashiro you’re awake. Don’t stress Karanomori out.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he says, moving the candy to the side of his mouth.

“Shion, tell me everything.”

“Good lord, you sound like how I expected you to sound.”

“And how’s that?”

“Like you need to brush your teeth.”

He chuckles, acknowledging the truth in her words. “Thanks for the reminder, first thing I’ll do, especially after finishing this.”

“You needed that, it’s because of the nicotine in your blood that you’re having a bad reaction to the drugs. Anyway, I know that’s not what you called me for. She’s fine.”

“She got sent home, who’s there with her?”

“Akane-chan didn’t get sent home, Homura took her home, so of course he’s with her,” she pauses, curious. “Is that stupidity or denial? Aren’t you smarter than that, Shinya-kun?”

He raises a brow at the name; it’s been a while, though he can only imagine his relegation to Kogami had something to do with her closeness with Tsunemori. Shion’s words bite despite the lack of information, reliably cutting through the bullshit—his own bullshit.

“Feeling sorry for me now?”

“I mean, he’s rich,” she giggles, and he imagines her shoulders shaking from the teasing, choking on the smoke of her own cigarette. “No but seriously, she is fine, I know that’s the most important thing you want to hear. Homura gave his word, we will know when she’s awake.“

It’s true, he only really cares that she’s alright and safe, but suddenly the candy doesn’t taste so sweet anymore, knowing he might not be hearing from her at all for the rest of the day. He restrains the urge to ask more questions that will force him to accept that he had shoved the thought of Homura having access to Akane’s apartment to the back of his mind.

"Already well acquainted with him, huh?”

“Hardly. But I trust what I see with my own eyes. Contrary to what you might have led yourself to believe, it seems he cares for her just as much, but let’s just say he’s a bit cooler, and I don’t mean that as a tease.”

“I feel like shit, but thanks, Shion,” he says, biting down hard. The candy breaks in his mouth, sending another wave of sweetness that makes him wince.

“You’ll be ok, just finish that lollipop and drink lots of water throughout the day. I won’t bore you with the details, you can read the report. In fact, you should do that to test your recovery. The expectation is you should be functioning as normal, so If you experience anything weird, give me a call. Just take it easy, no entering weird places and inhaling poison gas.”

“Lesson learned, trust me.”

“Good. By the way, I should tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“Shimotsuki has a report on the state of your vehicle, or rather, what’s inside. It’s separate from my medical report. Don’t think I have to tell you what will get you in a bit of hot water, right?“

He sighs, wishing he was capable of kicking himself. "Yeah. For the record, we weren’t drunk.”

“And for what it’s worth, unfortunately, I don’t think it matters.”

“Yeah. I know. Thanks for taking care of us, Shion.”

“Anytime, lover boy.”

“Fuck off.”

“Careful now, or I might end up rooting for the man who has better hair.”

“You already sound like you are, so what leg do I have to stand on?” He says, sucking off the bits of sugar left on the stick.

“Nah, Akane-chan will dictate who my favor goes to. Yayoi, however, might be on your side. Might.”

“Using me as a tool for your kinks, I see.”

“Thank you for your service. Now is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No. I owe you, though. What do you want?”

“Something only the rich boy can afford.”

“Ok, bye—”

“No, no! God!” Shion bursts into laughter, making him hold the phone away from his ear. “Take a joke, will you?”

“A bit salty about that right now if that isn’t obvious enough.”

“Come over for dinner one of these days and bring whatever you like.”

“Ok,” he says, mildly surprised at the simplicity of the request. He can’t discount the gratitude he feels, Shion has every license to step on his pride anytime.

“Thanks again.”

“You’re most welcome.”

***

The brightness in the room has her turning away from the windows, burying her face in a pillow that smells like Shizuka’s shampoo. She pulls the covers above her head, raising her arms and stretching her legs. Yuzu’s weight sinks the mattress on her side, his whining ringing through her ears as his nose pokes the side of her cheek, forcing her to reveal herself.

“Hey, Yuzu,” she giggles, accepting the inevitable sloppy licks and the mini commotion of him barking and bouncing excitedly around her.

It’s like waking up from a dream, a complete turnaround from her state the night before. Akane looks down at her palms, opening and closing them into fists, disoriented as visions of last night begin to flash back in her mind’s eye. She notices the fresh bandages on her arm, the smallest sting underneath. Fear had only made itself known at the last minute.

This contradiction finally settles in her consciousness; she’s alive.

Needing answers, Akane forces herself up. Yuzu nuzzles behind, pushing her forward as she stands with shaking legs.

“Thanks, Yuzu. Where is he?”

Yuzu barks, leading the way out of the bedroom. The floor feels like it’s sinking beneath the soles of her feet, she’s surprised to still be upright with each step she takes. Chiyo greets her when she passes by the living room, and in the next room she hears Shizuka’s voice through the small gap between the door.

“Based on your intel, another one would make sense. Intercept him then and bring him in for questioning.”

Arata responds from the line, ending the call. She can see Shizuka through the hologram screens, massaging his temples and barely noticing Yuzu and her enter the room.

“Hey.”

He looks up, switching the screens off and immediately getting on his feet.

“Wait, stay there.”

“Everything okay?” He stops on the side of the desk, worried.

“My legs feel like jelly but,” she takes short, tentative steps towards him, looking up to meet his gaze, “I think I’m getting a bit used to it.”

Patiently, he waits until she’s two steps from him, then rushes to meet her in a tight embrace, making her breath hitch as she closes her eyes, settling against him. His arms cage her in, warm and tender like always. Between this and last night, the darkness of the unknown like a ghost she pushes to the back of her mind, she knows she’s home.

He holds her face in his hands, searching her gaze. “How do you feel?”

“Weird,” she winces, brows furrowed, “and worried, I’m so—”

Shizuka kisses her, pulling her flush against him, his hand drifting beneath the shirt to stroke her back. It’s slow, and passionate; a first in what felt like a long time. She reciprocates, clutching the lapels of his suit, her other hand on the back of his neck, pressing him closer, tears welling at the back of her eyelids. What she would have lost, she holds.

And it all feels real now.

***

“I don’t remember after that.”

With a shaky exhale, she ends her recollection of last night, relieved that she was able to live to talk about it, but still uneasy about what she doesn’t know.

“Don’t stress yourself.” He kisses her forehead, taking his phone out to dial Kogami’s number. “He got you out, so you might want to hear about that from him.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t. He was asleep like you when I arrived. And as for the rest of the story, you need to call Karanomori-san.”

Akane stares worriedly at the screen, heart in her throat. “Is he okay?”

“He should be. I’m also assuming he’s awake but you can always call him later if not.”

Seeing the numbers on screen, it occurs to her that she has memorized Kogami’s personal number without meaning to, and deduces that this number is the one linked to his holo device. It rings five times before he picks up, staying silent on the other line.

They exchange glances, Akane looks in danger of tearing up again.

Shizuka squeezes her arm, urging her to talk.

“K-Kogami-san?”

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Go,” Shizuka whispers, tilting his head towards the door. Akane nods, smiling when he kisses her hand as she walks away, Yuzu following in her wake.

“Don’t forget to call Karanomori-san.”

“I will.”

The door closes just in time for him to pull the screens back up, showing Shimotsuki’s report notification appearing one after the other. He patches a call on his holo device,

“This is everything?”

“Yes, as requested. You’ll want to have a look at the photos attached on the second report. Your call, then.”

“Thanks, Shimotsuki. I’ll be there in time for the meetings.”

“How is senpai?”

“She’s fine. I’m sure she’ll give you a call later.”

“My calendar is full, thanks to both of you!”

A quintessential image of her, with arms crossed, fuming at the two of them, pops up in his head. “Then I’ll tell her not to disturb you.”

“Excuse me?” Shimotsuki’s scandalized gasp echoes through the device. “Don’t tell her what to do! S-Sir!”

“Okay, okay,” he snorts, knowing she must be as red as a tomato. “I won’t. I’ll see you later.”

The call ends, and he pulls up the files, swiping through the report to get to what he needed. Something for his own sanity, to satisfy the clawing, nagging feeling at the back of his mind ever since he asked Hinakawa to trace Akane last night.

With a photo showing two empty bottles of one-cup sake discarded in the backseat, and the preliminary results showing traces of alcohol in their blood, Shizuka stares blankly at the screen, neither unhappy nor triumphant that his instincts were once again proven right.

***

“Sorry, I was on my way out. How are you?”

Akane hears the flick of the lighter, his long drag on the other line crystal clear as if she’s right there next to him, breathing in what he’s breathing out.

“I’m good,” she says, accepting the glass of water that Chiyo gives her on the way to the bedroom. It’s not a stretch to say the bed is inviting, and going back to it is a temptation she chooses not to resist. “I just got up maybe half an hour ago trying to remember how to use my legs.”

“That’s good to hear. I felt like shit when I woke up. Do you feel pain of any sort?”

“No. What about you?”

“Similar. Maybe it’s a numbing sensation or side effect for me, but it’s like I can’t exert force into anything,” he says, voice rough.

“Even so, I’m glad we got out of it. Will you tell me what happened?”

Kogami doesn’t respond immediately, nor does she feel a need to rush the conversation, not when the gravity of their recklessness weighs them down across the line. Her brushes with death are few and far between, even in her profession. She never dwells on her mortality, never wallows in regret. It is what it is, regardless of what she has, or what she could lose.

“I was expecting to meet you in the middle, as agreed, but you weren’t there. Remember that weird noise we heard?”

Akane hums, drinking the water and giving it back to Chiyo. The drone’s dashboard panel lights up, flashing a hologram screen with meal choices and a short message at the bottom saying “or anything you like.” She quickly makes a decision, selecting truffle risotto in the attempt to drown out the memory of the sound that triggered her misfortunes.

“There was a crash after that, so I followed the sound to that room. You were alone, passed out on the floor. I didn’t know what caused it but then I also started feeling strange, it was getting hard to breathe. So I,”he pauses, clearing his throat. “I got you out.”

“Yes, you did.” She smiles, distracted by the indifference in his voice, wishing he’d be a little more honest. Between the silence and relief, their emotions simmer on the surface, on thin ice. As always, it’s up to her to call him out.

But she’s not prepared to do that to the man who saved her life. Not now, anyway. The line is clear and voices are heard, yet words are never enough.

“Thank you, Kogami-san.”

“No need to thank me.”

“But I want to, so let me.”

Kogami chuckles helplessly, her plea tugging at the cold mask he wears, breaking down all his defenses.

“I give up.”

“You let me do anything,” she replies, soft laughter escaping from her lips.

He can just see it, the twinkle in her eyes, the unshakeable optimism that not even the most dire of circumstances can erase. Her light is blinding, worthy of worship, the only beauty his filthy heart hung onto, and will never let go.

“Correct. Thank me when we see each other again.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow.”

Mouthing her name on his lips, his open secret, the desire to say it this time, when she can hear, magnifies tenfold. Instead, he bids her a simple goodbye with a lighter heart, a reminder of something to look forward to.

***

#volition #shizuaka #kouaka #yeeting this out before i go on vacation

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 17:28:53

volition

previous chapters - VII (ao3)

The quiet street is disturbed only by the sound of their footsteps, disconnected beating on the wet pavement before falling into step with each other the closer to the building they get. Kogami insists on staying in front, not that she can object much with nothing to answer to his sheer size; the buzz of the alcohol and the minimal light giving his unruly hair a weird-shaped halo as she lags behind. Akane feels the tug at the edges of her lips at the razor-sharp awareness of their circumstance. This is curiosity, and danger, and she’s with the man who is both.

From the outside, the building is like any other; box-shaped, around four or five stories with wide, frosted windows at the front. Akane guesses it is much larger inside, judging by the metal fences that block the rest of the compound. Her eyes quickly scan for surveillance cameras or detection devices, finding none as they continue to tread closer, getting a better view: small gate for people, boom gate for vehicles, loading bay for whatever they’re receiving throughout the day on the far side, away from prying eyes.

Kogami fancies his chances, pushing the small gate gently. It is unlocked, and swings open without a sound. He gazes back, acknowledging her nod before doing a double-take, his gaze landing on the bruise on her neck.

“I can see it.”

“I know,” she replies, as if it explains it. She left her phone in the car to charge, and it’s already a short distance away. “Are we going or—”

“Yeah.” Kogami resumes his walk, scanning his surroundings with the image imprinted on his mind. The place is eerily silent, but that fact is less distracting. He clears his throat. “Looks worse.”

“Yes, that’s how they usually work.”

Eyes wide, he looks her up and down, noting the color flaring on her cheeks. “Had plenty of them, then?”

She squares her jaw, glancing to the side. “Not where you put it.”

Kogami stops in his tracks, placing a hand over his chest. It’s probably the alcohol, but he’s no less honest as his mind starts supplying him the mental image, more bitter than the sake he forced down his throat..

“Fuck, that hurts,” he teases, because he can.

Akane shakes her head, catching the joke, but eyes him softly, understanding the part that isn’t.

“Done bitching?”

“It’s the alcohol,” he says, shrugging. “So probably not.”

She sighs. “You have your phone, right?”

“I do.”

“Our holo devices aren’t able to place calls from here, more so from inside.”

Kogami chuckles, searching for another entrance to the building. “Really set on going in, aren’t you?”

“Might I remind you that this was your idea,” she says, brow raised. Something catches her eye on the other side of the loading bay. She nudges at him, pointing. “Look, there’s an open door.”

“This is too easy.”

“Or, like you say, it’s nothing.” Akane walks past him, taking the lead.

He catches her by the hand, halting her tracks.

“Hold on for a second. What’s the plan here?”

“Nothing. We’re just surveying, remember?” Akane slaps her hand on her neck, narrowing her eyes. “Stop staring at it.”

“Sorry,” he says, clearly not as he holds back a laugh. “Looks different in the light.”

“Are we going or not?”

“Already gone, aren’t we?”

“Will you let go of my hand, then?”

“I don’t want to. You look comfortable.”

Akane tuts, exhaling loudly before releasing herself from his grip and walking towards the door. Kogami follows, keenly aware of their exposure to danger while his excitement amplifies; all sense thrown out the window. He should probably give that sake another try, on another night.

“You seemed to have developed a knack for recklessness.”

“Don’t think you get to lecture me about that.”

“Oh no, I will follow you to the death but just putting it out there that this isn’t where I want to die.”

Though his words strike a chord, she finds the circumstances less than ideal for such big declarations. Besides, they’re not going to die.

Akane leans on the door frame, holding back a smile as she takes a peek inside.

“You’re far too pessimistic.“

She crosses the threshold, leaving him dumbfounded for a few seconds before she beckons him with a judgmental look.

"Come on.”

“Yes, Ma'am.”

***

Inside the loading bay, a single white bulb above double doors illuminates the space, about the size of a two-car driveway, but with only one receiving dock with the roller shutters closed. On one corner, pallets of stacked boxes wrapped in plastic, and on the other, two forklifts are parked. Through the wall, they hear the distinct cacophony of operating machinery.

“Another factory, by the looks of it,“ Akane tiptoes, peeking at the surface. "The boxes are unmarked. Convenient.”

“Whatever’s coming in and out is definitely enough to require forklifts,” Kogami observes, raising a brow at her. “Why are you so relaxed about this?”

Akane leads him through the double-doors, and they enter what looks like a locker room, each set of lockers lined up to form a one-way path.

“The difference between those managing under Sibyl and those not is very small, but if there’s anything vastly different here, it’s that the people who run anything, illegal or not, are very conscious of the limits of the game they play. To put it simply, they deal with high risk, but operate low-risk.”

They go through a couple of lockers, some with signs of use and doubling as a trash can, and realizing that most of them aren’t being used at all. Kogami uses his phone to take pictures, wondering if the place is set up to make it look like people work here. Then again they saw someone come out of the building a few hours ago, so there’s definitely human staff.

“Even crime lords prefer the security of business continuity, and because they run on such small territory and have to ensure their tracks are covered, a larger number of illegal operations are achieved at the ignorance of those working in it. It’s only among immigrants who are smuggled that a greater deal of extortion is involved, and those operations are the ones that are either heavily guarded or completely hidden, or both.”

Kogami smirks, ever watchful of their surroundings as they exit to a long corridor with large doors on each side.

“How long have you been playing around here?”

“Long enough,” she smiles. “Let’s split up. I’ll take these doors to the right, you take the rest.”

“I’d rather not,” Kogami insists, giving her a warning look.

“We’ve already gone deep into the building, Kogami-san. I think if anyone’s heavily bothered by our presence we’d both be attacked by now.”

“Or they want us to go deeper in the building so we’d have trouble getting out.” He holds her arm firmly, unable to comprehend the lack of concern she’s displaying. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

“Fine.” Akane yields, walking towards the closest door. “Let’s start here, then?”

They enter a large storage warehouse, wider than the building they entered in, though just about as tall. Stacks of boxes and shelves of materials, chemical drums and large plastic containers line the floor, and rows and rows of large shelves containing pallets of plastic-wrapped and unmarked boxes, similar to the one abandoned in the loading bay. From a distance, they hear a loud, gushing sound, like air being expelled from somewhere.

“Let’s split up and try to find something that can help us here.”

“Not to mock your height but I can’t see you between those rows and that’s not really in line with the I don’t want you out of my sightrule.”

“Then good luck to us getting anything out of this at all? This room alone will keep us busy for a while. Come on, what happened to the guy who said we didn’t need weapons here?”

Kogami looks in her eyes, and then at their surroundings. No visible surveillance devices, but he is not so convinced.

"Let’s each take a row of shelves until we go through all of it, then we can have a look at the containers and drums together.”

“Agreed.”

Akane turns on her heel, jumping at the sound from the walls and sensing it much closer now they’re inside. She realizes the gushing sound is repeating, but so is the rest of the clinks and whirrs that are typical from any manufacturing line. Picking the last row to start, she looks back at Kogami and points in her direction. He does the opposite and picks the nearest row.

“We’ll meet in the middle. Call out immediately if you feel something’s wrong.“

“Got it,” she calls, waving her hand without looking back.

***

The last row is surprisingly well-lit compared to the ones she passed. As she walks deeper in, she takes note of the opened boxes, finding peculiar items such as long rubber bands, blank sticker labels and other packaging materials. None of them are labeled, which she finds interesting; it requires that whoever is storing these to know where each box should go, and whoever is going to use them to know where to find each material. It’s a large enough place that to make a mistake would waste time, leading her to believe that drones must have been deployed here, though she can’t find any scuffing or marks on the floor that might indicate frequent use. After going through most of the boxes without much information to go by, she decides to follow the strange, gushing sound that they’ve been hearing, which is a lot closer now that she’s at the end of the row.

It leads her to a smaller room with a wide glass window that provides a view of the production line one floor down. On the side is a large cylindrical container with a metal pipe, going through the wall and connecting it to the machines below. Save for the one she came in, there are no other doors, but the manufacturing area has catwalks on either side, even a set of stairs leading to a higher floor, so there must be an entrance that can take her there. From her vantage point, it seems there is only one part of the line operating, though she doesn’t see anyone on the floor working on the machines. It looks more and more like an automated line, like the ones raided by Kei’s team.

Akane steps closer to the cylinder, walking past an operating panel showing numbers and controls she doesn’t understand. Glancing below, she wonders what exactly is moving between the lines, as they seem to be operating but with nothing coming out. She touches the glass window, brows furrowed. If the cylinder is depositing something to the line, then where do the contents of the cylinder come from?

The pipe shakes violently, startling her enough to collide with the machine’s operating panel— the machine that wasn’t right behind her moments ago. She reaches out, only to realize how slow her own arm reacts to her brain’s behest; heavy and exerting, like trying to slice a path in water. There’s something wrong, so wrong, that she can’t listen to her own heartbeat over the incoming, rising sound that she’s been hearing ever since they entered this place. She opens her mouth, choking, and with horror, Akane realizes that she is falling to the ground, unable to scream.

***

His fingertips tap aimlessly on the mattress, hating that it’s cold and unoccupied, his mind reeling from impatience and the stubbornness of wanting to be fully awake when she walks in at such an ungodly hour. It’s always been the way it is, they’re not immature and needy, nor do they hold each other back when things need to be done. They’ve never been the kind to notify or even keep tabs on each other; they are busy people dealing with important things, and though she may forget to reply to a text message, she has never missed any of his calls.

With a sigh, he realizes there might not have been a necessity because they have worked so close together, but recognizes that his desire to know now is only tied to wanting to have her home as soon as possible.

He’s sleepy, and restless; the fear and relief on Akane’s face etched in his brain that no amount of fatigue will put him to sleep. She was so invested, so moved, gratitude magnified her affection. He wanted to reject it, to remind her that he’s not so weak as to let jealousy, or even spite, drive his decisions. He’s better than that, surely she knew, but his insecurity claws at his insides, aching in the dark of his large and empty room.

The thought is there, sitting in the back of his mind and growing louder with each passing minute.

He knows, he knows. He doesn’t have to ask. There is no need to confirm. He never stops her when she wants, even hands her the keys, opens all the doors. It’s work. Nothing more.

But it’s almost five in the morning. Maybe it’s why he hasn’t removed his holo device, maybe it’s why he hasn’t slept. Sitting up, he pinches the bridge of his nose, cursing the man under his breath as he flicks his wrist and patches a call to Hinakawa.

"G-good morning, Sir.”

“Sorry to disturb,” he mutters, battling with himself. Of course, it will be for a reason like this that he encroaches on her privacy, even when he trusts her, and even when he’s always had the means.

“Turn on the tracker and locate Akane now, please.”

***

“Oi, Tsunemori, I’m done here. Stop making me do all the work.”

Kogami walks casually to where he last saw her, noting his phone’s battery is on the red. It’s time to go, but he doesn’t find her where he expected her to be.

“Tsunemori?”

The loud, gushing sound roars through the large room, followed by a crash somewhere at the end of the row. Kogami instinctively runs towards it in heavy and desperate steps, heart racing as his blood runs cold.

“Akane!”

He reaches the doors, swinging them open and hitting a piece of machinery. On the floor, Akane is unconscious, and he wastes no time in reaching her, picking her up in his arms. The air thins, escalating his sense of panic as he sprints outside, back to the storage room where he holds all restraint to stop and try to get a reaction out of her. His chest is burning, making him heave as he runs, careful not to jostle her while he retraces their path with the blurring of his vision.

“Fuck!”

Kogami trips over an empty box, managing to keep his balance once he catches sight of the doors to the locker room. He can feel his throat tightening, prickling inside like pins and needles. Pushing forward, he makes it to the loading bay, clutching onto her tighter.

Just one more door.

***

“Chief, she is in Myogadani. They’re moving— no, wait.”

A familiar siren resounds from the other line, making the hair rise on the back of his head.

“Tell me that’s not what I heard.”

He is already on his feet, heart drumming in his ears amidst the erratic clicking on Hinakawa’s tablet keyboard.

“Hinakawa—”

“Chief, Kogami-san called in Code 108. His vehicle is currently on autodrive, Division 2 is on the move now to intercept him.“

"And Akane?” His voice shakes, already knowing the answer.

“Needs medical attention, sir. Kogami is sending live scan data from his holo device, and he wants us to call Karanomori-san. His stats are not looking good either.”

“Do it. Do everything you have to do.”

***

His first step out of the building and into fresh air gave him enough energy to propel him forward, dragging his feet to safety and using the last of his phone’s battery to place the emergency call. He sits her in the car, taking off his jacket and laying it over her, a series of steps outlining in the haze of his thoughts and triggering his movement at the click of the seatbelt. Before he is fully aware, the car drives away with him on the seat, holding Akane’s hand and waiting for a stronger signal on his holo device.

A normal, functioning part of him scans Akane’s vitals and his, sending the data through his device and patching call after call to ask for Karanomori, until his voice breaks and he couldn’t anymore. He is nodding off at the steering wheel, fighting to stay awake as the sleepy city lights at dawn flicker across his vision. They’ve only been driving for less than ten minutes, and he’s already shaking, holding whatever part of Akane he can, wiping the blood off her nose with the end of his sleeve and doing a bad job at it in his nauseous state.

He groans, hitting the back of his head on the seat in frustration. It doesn’t work, and he feels a strange, hopeless sensation watching the speed of the car decelerate on the dashboard. The weight of his eyelids drop against his will; he can’t even pinch himself awake from the lack of sensation from his fingertips. Tears well in his eyes, blurring his already compromised vision as cruel thoughts swirl like the venom in his veins.

Kogami looks at Akane’s blood-smeared face as he succumbs, strength bleeding out, breath after weakened breath.

“Hang on, please. Hang on,” he whispers, thumbing at her lips, fingers shaking. “We’ll make it, I promise.”

I promise.

***

#volition #kouaka #shizuaka

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 16:33:46

volition

I-II-III-IV-V - VI (ao3)

“This tribunal will hear Case 383 recorded under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs Suppressing Action Department in the Tibet-Himalayan Alliance Kingdom on November 2117 involving the summoned, Shinya Kogami, with witnesses Tenzing Wangchuk, Frederica Hanashiro, and online will be joined by Tshering Gurung and Kinrei Dorj should we deem it necessary.”

“As representatives of the Ministry of Welfare Public Safety Bureau, Ministry of Foreign Affairs Suppressing Action Department and the Sibyl System, the outcome of this hearing is only to reach an assessment regarding Shinya Kogami’s position in the case, to satisfy the request of Tenzing Wangchuk, who represents the Tibet-Himalayan Alliance Kingdom. This outcome will have no bearing on his current status in Japan, and will not be disclosed, divulged or acted upon under Japanese law. As such, Shinya Kogami’s crime coefficient will not be read or recorded, nor will this hearing involve any assessment that relates to his actions prior to, and after the case to be heard.”

“This case is only declassified for the purpose of this hearing and will remain classified after. This tribunal only exists for the hearing of this case and will be dissolved immediately once an assessment is agreed upon. I, Shizuka Homura, Chief of the Ministry of Welfare Public Safety Bureau, declare the purpose, powers and subsequent assessment of this hearing in effect. Let’s begin.”

***

“I don’t want to set wild expectations, so let me be clear. This tribunal is not guided by any law and is hence not bound by anything other than our agreement to hear this case out. Miss Wangchuk, should any sensitive information about what happens in this room be released to the public, both here and overseas, then I will personally escort you to the nearest airport out of the country, and will ban you from entering again. Are we clear?”

“Yes, we are. I’ve been briefed on your conditions already, Chief Kasei.”

Contrasting with the calmness of Tenzing, Kogami’s gaze flares up in anger as he sneers at Kasei.

“Threats first, then? Forget the law.”

“There is no law, Kogami. I thought I made that clear already.” Kasei stares him down with a cold smile. “Now, I don’t want to waste any more time on this so let’s proceed.”

“No one’s forcing you to,” Kogami mutters, crossing his arms.

“Shut up!” Hanashiro scolds under her breath. She looks equally angry, shooting a look as if daring him to speak again.

Shizuka leans forward, mirroring Tenzing’s posture.

“Miss Wangchuk, among the three of us here, I was the only one not present at the time of this case. Of course, we have read all the details, and I believe Hanashiro has provided you with the excerpts which are relevant to your appeal. There is no new information, and since it was closed almost five years ago, it has not once been revisited, reevaluated, or appealed for review, nor has Shinya Kogami requested for such a petition. I want to understand why you believe this is tribunal needs to hear out this case, and why you are so adamant in clearing Kogami’s name,”

Tenzing nods, taking a deep breath.

“First of all I would like to say thank you for giving me this opportunity. Fact is, not even Kogami knew that I was petitioning for this until around an hour ago, so I can understand such a proceeding must not be ideal for him,” she glances apologetically at Kogami, who softens, if not more apologetic, as a reply.

“I acknowledge there is nothing to add if I refer to the facts of the case. All I know is that he did not deserve to take the fall for someone else, least of all the man who orchestrated the murder of my parents and many more people just so he could gain from it.”

"Garcia could have fallen in the hands of other men, maybe someone from your government, even Frederica-san might have done it on her own. But that’s not what happened. It was Kogami who ended Garcia, and as a result ended his corruption and potentially repeating the same to other countries like mine.”

“I will interrupt you here,” Kasei says, brow raised. “Did younot kill Garcia?”

“I did,” Kogami simply says.

Akane balls her fists in her lap, heart beating out of her chest.

“And the peace talks, did you have any involvement in it?”

“No.”

“So you killed, but did you really have a hand in the peace that was achieved?”

“I will never take credit for it.”

“He would have left the capital and done nothing else except collect the fees owed to him, and yet you went after him. What exactly did you have a hand in except for his murder?”

“Nothing else is the furthest from what Garcia would have done. It’s as the girl says, we would have gone after him ourselves, or else he would have continued to profit off conflict, plain and simple.” Kawasaki intervenes. “Isn’t that correct, Hanashiro?”

“Yes, sir. Our government sanctioned the mission, but the one who made it happen for us is Kogami.”

“I am isolating the fact that he could have helped you out without killing, but it seems such a thing is no longer possible for the likes of you, isn’t it?”

“I would refrain from extrapolating and stick to what we agreed. Regardless of what happened, it’s not as if we can assess objectively as he was not bound by our laws at the time. In no way would he have been subjected to a cymatic scan—”

“I assure you, Homura, that this would have been even more to his detriment.”

“Then I don’t see why we should be pressing that point further. Nothing we discuss will provide us satisfaction that he had not broken a law, regardless of whose it is. All we can conjecture will be if we believe his actions were reasonable given the circumstances he faced and if we are willing to vouch for his character despite it.”

“I agree,” Kawasaki nods. “It doesn’t have to be complicated, though I understand the difficulty. I would go so far as to say it’s only your testimony, Miss Wangchuk, that can convince us to give you what you want.”

Silence follows, and while she looked defensive when Kasei was trying to rile up Kogami, Tenzing’s gaze lands on Akane, whose unease is still clear in her eyes despite attempts to school her features.

Once again, Akane feels that strange sensation of an outsider. She’s never deluded herself into thinking that Kogami would never kill again. It’s not a privilege extended to someone who led the kind of life he’s lived, and experienced the things he had. It’s not in her place to judge, but while she knows she sides with them, she also knows that she can’t sit beside them, not only because there’s no seat, but because this wasn’t something theyshared.

Tenzing looks at her with a soft smile, as if she understands her apprehension in that very moment. It does nothing but invigorate her, and she hopes her confidence translates in a bid for Akane’s trust.

“I don’t believe Kogami came to the Kingdom with any expectations. Maybe he was there to help. Maybe he came there because there was nowhere else to go. In the short time he resided there, even from the very moment he crossed our borders, he saved a bus of refugees from being ambushed by armed men, most of them coming forward when I began divulging the truth to the public. I may only be one person right in front of you, but the people he saved are not few. And when someone as young as I during that time fell into the traps of revenge, he saved me too.”

“I know this is very selfish, but I simply cannot accept that the Kingdom remains ignorant, for people to not know that the peace we’re enjoying is owed to a man who has a bounty on his head. Kogami was my teacher. He does not pretend to be a good man, but still does good. He’s not a savior, but he still saves. I want Kogami to know his effort was properly acknowledged in a place he had a hand in safekeeping, even if he has no intention of returning. It’s a small gesture, but it’s what he truly deserves.”

“Thank you, Miss Wangchuk. I am going to ask you to step out of the room for a few minutes,” Kawasaki says. “Please wait until you are called back.”

Taken aback, Tenzing looks over at Hanashiro, who nods. Kogami catches her hand when she stands, pressing firmly.

“Thank you.”

Tenzing smiles proudly, pressing back. “You’re welcome.”

***

“I only have a couple of questions, and this I will direct to you, Hanashiro.”

“Yes, sir.”

“The MFA had sanctioned your mission, providing you with the artillery and intelligence you needed. At the time I wasn’t aware who your accomplices were and only saw it detailed in your report. So my question is, did you plan to kill Garcia?”

Hanashiro leaned forward, unfazed. “I did not. However, given we had to secure the safety of the rest of the group who were innocent, it was still three versus a train car of mercenaries, in not the most ideal weather conditions. Casualties were unavoidable, Garcia included.”

“Then I take it your objective was to stop him in his tracks? Quite literally, even.”

“Correct, sir. I already gathered the information I needed. To me he might even be a liability if I took my chances and kept him alive.”

“Clear. Any further questions?”

“Either way, you do not have a personal interest in having him dead,” Kasei comments. “Would that be the same for you, then, Kogami?”

“Garcia’s death was a benefit, was it not?” Shizuka interjects. “We already established that the MFA would have gone after him regardless. He was a man of reprehensible character, far worse than what you could accuse Kogami for.”

Kogami chuckles, leaning back on his chair and pushing it so he has room to cross his legs. “I had no idea you had a personal interest in my answer to this question, Homura. Anything else you want to add or should I answer the question now?”

Shizuka coldly gazes back, unperturbed.

He takes his silence as a yes, and looks straight into Kasei.

“I ended him because he threw a knife at Tenzing, almost killing her if we hadn’t found her in time.“ Kogami sets his jaw, fists planted on the table. "I have many regrets, this isn’t one of them. I don’t care what you think about me. I would do it again.”

Kogami’s words hang in the air, a truth inseparable as a body to its shadow; a past built from pasts that cannot be undone. He has killed and can kill again, but Akane understands that this is defiance, not an appeal.

She lifts her head, meeting the gaze of the man she’s placed her faith in. What does he see, she wonders, as the seconds tick and the silence lingers, her heavy heart dangling by a feeble string?

"Your assessment,” Kasei says, disdain etched in her features, “will be decided among the three of us. Call the girl in.”

***

Tenzing feels the dreadful silence engulf the room upon her return, casting a nervous glance at Kogami, whose anger at Kasei simmers with the heat of his stare. Hanashiro slides her chair closer, placing an open hand on her back. The support does little to reassure, so she sits less confidently from before, fidgeting in her seat.

“I’ll start, then. Kogami’s actions, while not condoned, I acknowledge as necessary. Despite not being involved in negotiations, he became an instrument that made it possible for the Kingdom to achieve peace, in hindsight, even at the risk of his own life. His invisible hand should not remain so, therefore I, Tadano Kawasaki, declare that the MFA vouch for Shinya Kogami by granting him a positive assessment.”

“Thank you, sir,” Tenzing sighs out.

Everyone except Tenzing had zero expectations with Kasei, and soon enough she will understand why the mood in the room changed since she left. Akane glances at Hanashiro, who clearly knew this would result, but doesn’t look as confident now even if the decision hinges on Shizuka.

“The Sibyl System will not vouch for Kogami, on account of his actions resulting from a vendetta against a person he had no right to exact justice on. Regardless of outcome or location, no man is above the law.”

Tenzing’s face falls, her earlier optimism completely drained. The arrogant tone, the tinge of enjoyment, Kasei makes no effort to hide. After all, their hate is mutual, Kogami wanting to make a snide remark after that last sentence, but holds back out of respect for Tenzing.

Shizuka’s stillness and blank gaze give nothing away. She knows him more than anyone else in this room, but the smallest sliver of doubt casts a shadow over her, and for a split second Akane finds herself wanting to appeal.

“This request was unreasonable, this tribunal unlawful, and this man, ungrateful. We have two irrefutable facts here.”

“First, that Kogami did dispose of the man who led peace negotiations under false pretenses for his personal benefit, all the while taking the fall for another crime he did not commit.”

“Second, Kogami might not deserve the credit you want him to get,” he pauses, fixing his gaze on Tenzing, “but look at what a few months of being his student has done to you.”

Akane covers her mouth, stifling the gasp that escapes her as Shizuka smiles at Tenzing from across the table.

“You are a role model, a shining example of a future for someone who lived through war, trauma, and even the potential, irrevocable sin of killing for revenge. On top of whatever claims of safeguarding that peace achieved years ago, you are a product of whatever good he must have done there. I will not let you leave this country defeated. The Public Safety Bureau will vouch for Shinya Kogami with a positive assessment.”

Tenzing lights up, teary-eyed.

“Thank you so much!”

Kasei slowly turns her chair to Shizuka. “This contradiction can’t stand.”

“It will. I take full responsibility for it. There’s no need to involve Sibyl in a decision it objected to. After all, this won’t have any impact beyond its intended purpose.”

Kasei stands up, staring at Shizuka as if he is a rock in its shoe. “See to it that nothing is misconstrued in whatever official document you will release. I will see you in my office. We’re done here.”

Without addressing the rest of the people in the room, Kasei leaves. Tenzing jumps out of her seat to hug Kogami and Hanashiro. Still shaken, Akane swivels the chair away, tilting her head to the ceiling.

“Well then, congratulations, Miss Wangchuk. I will draft the assessment, Homura, and we can look at it together.”

“I leave it in your capable hands, Kawasaki. Let’s talk again soon.”

The holo projector shuts off, and she hears his footsteps until he appears in her line of vision, bending down to kiss her lips. Barely there, he nuzzles the tip of his nose against hers, tickling her mouth with his breath.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you later, my love,” he murmurs, rising to his full height to button his suit jacket, looking straight into Kogami’s eyes.

“Reloop with Arata, please. Since you’ve decided to take her with you, make sure the work is covered.”

“Hanashiro. Miss Wangchuk. You will receive the official assessment tomorrow evening, latest. In the meantime, please enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you, Mr. Homura.”

Shizuka takes one last look at Akane, who is still composing herself. Her image etches in his memory; fear, relief, affection, all in his hands. Like a devil over his shoulder, he questions whether she would have kissed him back had he decided differently, and, as Akane rises to meet them on the other side of the table, he turns away, already knowing the answer.

***

The snacks aisle of a grocery store isn’t exactly where she expected to be so soon after driving back from the Nona Tower, but looking at Tenzing’s excited face after what was probably a grueling last hour, she figures there’s no better way to de-stress. Along the way, it’s been decided that tonight’s menu is Kogami’s version of chicken pad thai, so they’ve come to pick up ingredients, Tenzing loading the cart with multiple snacks to take home.

“Do you like this one?” Tenzing waves a couple of Jagariko cups to her face.

“I love all the flavors, but those are definitely favorites. They’re quite addictive, so you should stock up.” Akane says, trying to catch a glimpse of Kogami and Hanashiro at the meats section.

“Akane-san, I can call you Akane-san, right?” Tenzing draws up close, almost nose to nose.

“Of course!”

“Is that man your boyfriend? Mr. Homura I mean?”

Akane feels the heat on her cheeks, unsure whether it’s half-stupid to deny after he kissed her right in front of them not too long ago.

“Y-yes. But I—”

“It’s okay! The terms of the tribunal stands, so I can’t disclose anything that happened there. If that’s what you’re worried about, anyway.” Tenzing smiles.

“Thanks, not worried. Just not used to it.” Very conscious now, Akane turns her attention back to the shelf, grabbing a couple of potato chips. “Do you like pizza flavor?”

“I saw a seaweed one, I think I prefer that.” Tenzing stands next to her, gaze traveling as she picks stuff from the shelf and uses Akane’s expressions as a barometer whether to put it back or dump it in the cart.

“Akane-san.”

“Hmm?”

“You care about Kogami don’t you?”

Taken aback, Akane fixes her expression just in time as she sees Kogami approach with packets of noodles tucked under his arm and some meat and vegetables in hand.

He pauses by the cart, raising a brow at the amount that has accumulated in the few minutes he’s been gone.

“Don’t give me that look, at least I’m not buying cigarettes!”

“Sodium and sugar isn’t nearly as bad, I suppose,” Hanashiro comments, appearing from behind them and making Akane jump. She picks up a couple of chips and puts it back on the shelf. “Trust me you don’t want any of that. These, however,” she grabs a few boxes of different flavored Pretz and tosses them in the cart, “are heavenly.”

“Why do you have so many stick snacks?”

“Not really, those are just the ones that taste best. Good choices so far, by the way.”

“Akane-chan helped me pick some.”

“Do you even have enough space in your luggage?”

“I bought her extra,” Hanashiro says, pulling the cart along, not waiting for Kogami to unload everything.

Akane reaches for the noodles about to slip beneath his arm, trying to keep up while she pushes the cart.

“They gave me lots of souvenirs in Dejima.” Tenzing beams. “Kogami, do you have a present for me?”

“Huh? What for?”

Hanashiro looks back, winking at Tenzing.

“What the heck is that for, eh?”

“At first, I thought it was silly but I realized Frederica is right.”

Kogami’s face falls, making her giggle.

“You missed five of my birthdays.”

“Lady, you’ll be better off clinging to Tsunemori here to knock a bit of sense into you.”

The sound of her last name makes her realize she’s right in the middle of it, biting her tongue and unable to disturb the continuous flow of banter that’s moving around her like clockwork. So she smiles, joining in on the laughter when Hanashiro reminds Kogami that he’s missed Akane’s birthdays too.

***

“I was a little afraid your boss would side with Sibyl. I thought you were, too.”

Akane isn’t sure if that’s the first topic she would choose after being left alone in the car, but Hanashiro is not anything but straightforward when she chooses to. They had just split up from Kogami who left to pick up his car, likely busy giving Tenzing a crash course into the Tokyo public railway system.

Remembering her own moment of doubt, she smiles softly as she buckles on her seatbelt. “I don’t often make that mistake. Maybe because of his last reaction to Kasei, and even to Shizuka, that made me think he might have pushed it a bit far.”

“His current standing in your little love tussle doesn’t help either, I imagine.”

She doesn’t say anything, belatedly realizing that she doesn’t call him Shizuka outside of the people she admitted their relationship to. Maybe his openness is starting to rub off on her, but she can’t judge if that’s a good thing.

“Sibyl is essentially shutting the door on him.”

“To be fair, I don’t think he intends to retire anytime soon, so they have a few years to change their mind.”

“Are you saying that because you won’t let him retire?”

“You think he’s going to retire knowing you’re still here?” Hanashiro raises her brow, the jewels of her earrings sparkling, swaying as she turns her head. What a way with words this woman has.

Akane doesn’t give her the benefit of answering, but there’s a glint of triumph that she claims for herself knowing that somehow, Hanashiro has missed her point completely.

“For what it’s worth, he’s one of the best, if not the best out there, no offense to any of your people. I’m not giving him back.”

“Thanks for the heads-up.”

To be surprised about this information is naive, but the sliver of envy she harbors is masked quickly with laughter, one she hopes her eyes are too busy looking at the road to notice.

***

They meet up at the CID, Kogami and Tenzing arriving a little later with a paper bag of random gashapon capsules inside.

“This is for you!” Tenzing starts distributing it to each table or handing it to everyone she meets in the Division 1 office. The contents are mostly figurines of old anime or food, or something completely useless like a birthday hat for pets.

She’s also charmed her way into getting Kei giving her the matryoshka dolls on his desk.

“Dangerous kid you got there, Kogami-san,” Mao jokes.

“Learned from the best!” Tenzing winks, popping the dolls in each other before putting it safely in her bag.

“Todoroki, Mao, maybe you can give her a tour of the common areas. Kogami-san, Tsunemori-san, Arata and Irie are in the room you reserved upstairs.”

“Thanks,” Akane says, opening her capsule to reveal what looks like a very sad-looking sunny-side egg whose butt is exposed. She places it in front of her monitor, chuckling. “I feel like I should know this guy from somewhere.”

Kogami, whose capsule reveals a panda keychain that when pressed, wails miserably that it doesn’t stink.

“No shit,” he laughs, taking out his keybadge and replacing the old leather keychain attached to it. “Thanks, Tenzing. Now spend some time with other people before I go bankrupt.”

Tenzing laughs, giving him a hug. “See you later!”

***

They find Irie munching on a bag of chips, legs propped up on a chair and watching a tv show projected from his phone.

“Hi! Welcome back!”

"Arata?”

“Went up to meet Chief Shimotsuki. We have some news to share, I think you’ll find it interesting.”

They share a look, stepping deeper in the room to take their seats. The day has yet to end, though it feels much longer. On her table, the flower he gave is starting to wilt.

“I"ll get you another one,” he says, popping a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it.

She smiles, remembering something. “Hanashiro also wanted to talk to Mika. If Arata is also upstairs, then she’s going to take her sweet time and make Hanashiro wait.”

“Yep! Could use some of that extra time.” Irie laughs, offering them an unopened bag of chips, which they both decline. “I think I need a nap, actually.”

“I think I do, too,” Akane rests her head on the table, using her arms as a pillow. She sees the smoke billowing from his lips, and inhales deeply before she could stop herself.

It’s the scent she can’t run away from, something she can’t hold in her hand but lingers, the only thing she knows that’s as bound to her as it is to him. Akane huffs, closing her eyes. Maybe one day, if he quits, it will trigger her less.

***

The last time Akane spent time in Kogami’s apartment was when he hosted Ginoza’s birthday last year. Their small group, including Sugo, Yayoi and Shion, each brought their own dish, while Akane saved herself by volunteering to bring cake. She almost didn’t, arriving late after a long debrief plus waiting in line to pick up her preorder, underestimating the crowd on that weekend.

The place hasn’t changed; it’s a cozy, one bedroom apartment with a significantly larger dining room and kitchen with a long counter and bar stools. Being a host wasn’t part of her original perception of him; seeing his apartment tailored for that purpose was a welcome surprise. Now that she’s back, the apartment looks just as new; likely because he spends so little time in it, and at first glance, it’s oddly reminiscent of her apartment when she came back that weekend.

But when he turns on all the lights, the place looks completely different. Signs of life, or of him, litter the place. Ashtrays all over the place, face towel hung on the chair in the dining room, his gun holster on the coat racket. He has books in almost every corner, tucked away in the corner of the sofa, underneath the glass shelf of the coffee table, on the kitchen counter with an uneaten banana as a bookmark, making Tenzing laugh.

“In a hurry this morning?” she asks, picking up the book and scrutinizing it. “This any good?”

“Not done yet, but so far, yes.”

Kogami unpacks their groceries as Hanashiro steps behind, grabbing the wine glasses from the cupboard. Tenzing takes one of the bar stools, already reading the first page while keeping her finger tucked in the page he marked.

“Can I help with anything?”

It’s that invisible barrier that she can’t seem to step over; the familiarity and ease that she doesn’t have in this setting. It’s Hanashiro knowing where his wine glasses are, Tenzing sitting comfortably as if this isn’t her first time here. It’s because they’ve lived through it already, under the same roof, eating the same meals, breathing the same air. A portion of his life, no matter how short, that had lasting consequences.

And she missed out on it.

“Keep us company,” he says, staring deeply as if noticing her facade cracking before his eyes.

She averts his gaze, smiling at Tenzing when she uses her foot to pull out the bar stool for her.

“What does this kanji mean?”

Tenzing leans over excitedly, pointing at the book. It gives her something else to focus on, though she still feels his gaze hot on her even as he is peeling away and chopping shallots on the board.

“Hmm. It means abundant.”

“These most certainly are,” Hanashiro carries two wine glasses in each hand, careful not to spill. “None for you, sweetheart, but I put some fizzy grape juice instead.”

“Can’t I try a little bit?”

“No, I don’t want the slightest risk to dip your psycho-pass, young lady. But I picked the best one, I promise you’ll like it.”

Tenzing pouts, but understands.

“We’ve got field work after this,” Kogami says, making quick work preparing the rest of the ingredients.

“Oh don’t be such a loser. Besides, we have to celebrate your win, right, Tsunemori?.”

Akane shrugs. With half a glass she may as well be drinking the same juice as Tenzing, who is only happy to initiate the toast.

***

She finishes the dishes just in time for Hanashiro to announce their departure. They are to take the last flight back to Dejima, where she will spend one more day to attend Dejima’s Young Leaders Conference as a guest speaker, before heading back.

Tenzing, who had been catching up with Kogami on his balcony while he smoked, returns to the living room with him in tow.

“That’s way too quick.”

“I"ll come back next time. Or you know, you can always come over! That house we lived in is still empty. I visit it from time to time and hold some group retreats there,” she promises, linking her arm in his. “Better make sure you’re fully loaded next time.”

“Oh you know how it is, all my paychecks saved to prepare for your return.”

“You can save a little bit for yourself! Otherwise you’ll get cranky without your smokes.”

Kogami ruffles her hair, kissing her crown when she reaches around to hug him.

“Be a good girl.”

“I most certainly am.” Tenzing breaks free, running towards Akane to embrace her as well; something she isn’t prepared for.

Still, it’s hard not to reciprocate when she already regards her with so much affection. She returns the hug, buoyed by the warmth of someone she only just met.

“You’re going to do amazing things. Feel free to visit, I’ll be happy to share some of that financial burden,” Akane jests, unable to help herself.

“Careful what you wish for,” he warns, chuckling.

“Hey I’m not here to just mooch off of you,” Tenzing says, laughter bubbling out of her. “But of course, if you insist… I am currently unemployed.”

Hanashiro leans by the doorway, shaking her head. “Let’s go before she gets other ideas.”

***

Kogami leans forward, peeking at the street where they have to turn in, and hesitates.

“Know any shop that has good coffee at this hour?”

“Home,” she says without thinking, realizing with a jolt when Kogami turns the other direction.

“Ah but!” Akane laughs, nervous. “I’m out of beans. So uh, there’s one near the Meridian, I think it should still be open.”

Kogami chuckles, his sideways glance more telling. “Okay.”

***

They used to come here a lot, taking breaks during long nights and chatting about each other’s pasts when life was a bit simpler. It’s not always easy to compare when Shizuka spoke of superlatives, but his recollections often lacked the condescending air of a wealthy person, his ignorance even endearing. The place is packed, and if this is still the same crowd, most of them are waiting for the half-priced pastries before midnight. Even the rich love a good bargain.

She opts for a full cup this time, considering what’s ahead. Kogami sweeps past the pastry counter, offering something new for every one she declines.

“We just ate, remember?”

“Yeah but the night is young. Never know when hunger will strike.”

Indeed. Glancing at the clock behind the counter, it’s only quarter past eleven; normally she would be in bed already, reading a book or browsing on her phone, and lately, waiting for Shizuka to return. Kogami picks up a few pastries, much to the delight of the girl behind the counter who had been eyeing him ever since they walked in.

Heading back to the car, Akane looks at the bright driveway leading to the Meridian. The incident that night remains undisclosed to the public, and the hotel still operates with no damage to its reputation. Her pace quickens when it starts to rain again, Kogami guiding her forward with his hand on her back.

***

Arata and Irie volunteered to cover for the validations they had missed, going through most of the map in the afternoon and early evening. During their last run, they discovered a strange building at the south-west corner of Myogadani that looked too busy for its location, with plenty of delivery trucks coming in but going out empty. One of the men identified by Inoue frequents the place, and with Inoue unable to confirm what’s going on in the building, the group jointly decided that a stake-out will give them more information. As expected, Kogami volunteered as if Akane had no say in it, so naturally they ended up together, parked inconspicuously outside said building.

“You know what I forgot?” Kogami says, taking the lid off his cup.

“What?”

“Peanuts.”

Akane laughs. “There’s always a conbini somewhere.”

“Just because we have a holo to make our car blend in doesn’t mean we can just go in and out as much as we want.”

“I know, I know!” Her mirth dies abruptly upon meeting his gaze; grip tight over her coffee cup.

“But I argue that it’s always good to munch on something.“

"I thought you had a thing for those… dried anchovies.”

“Yeah, I see you mocking. You won’t once you get a taste.”

Akane raises her brow. “You think I don’t know what iriko tastes like?”

“Not the ones from Dejima, you don’t.” And Kogami has the gall to wink. “So is this your first stake-out?”

“With you? Yes.”

Kogami pauses, holding back a smile. “Well then. I think that deserves a toast.”

“We should have brought the wine with us,” she says, hardly satisfied with the soundless bumping of their cups. The coffee, however, is divine.

“Ok, Ma'am. Great recommendation.”

“Think about that next time you tease me about elevated tastes.”

“Yeah, but unlike you, I can’t make this a habit. I don’t have a boss who supplies espresso machines or beans.”

Akane almost chokes on her drink. Luckily for her, there is movement outside, a small gate being opened on the side of the building. She points at it, and whether he noticed earlier no longer matters. Kogami flicks his wrist, turning his holo device on to record what they’re seeing.

A man comes out carrying a box and loads it on the back of a motorcycle parked on the street.

“No objective today but a survey, right?” Kogami asks.

“Correct.”

Their curiosity is piqued further when the man doesn’t get on the motorcycle, but a woman who had just come from the other end of the street does. Without so much as an acknowledgement of the other, the man returns to the building, and with a kick to start the motor, the woman doesn’t take long before she drives away.

“Well that was certainly something that came out of the building,” Kogami says, sending the footage to Akane’s device.

“The quality isn’t great. We’ll have to send it to Hinakawa to enhance it.”

“It’s midnight, that can wait. Also, there are a couple more bikes parked on the sidewalk.”

“So possibly two more… the other bikes don’t look like the one that drove away, at least from what I’m seeing.”

“Maybe they’re also using a holo?”

“Which, then? The one we saw drove away or the ones parked?”

Akane gives it a thought, shifting in her seat.

“Comfortable?”

It’s the contrast between his gaze traveling down her legs and the concern in his voice that unnerves her, and she doesn’t have room to process that at this time of night.

“Well, I have to be now don’t I?” Akane casts her glance outside. “I think you’re right. Good quality holos are on the expensive side, and if the guys here don’t necessarily expect us to be creeping up on them like we are right now, it won’t be an investment they’re willing to make.”

“True. You’d think these guys would be willing to pay a bit extra if it means they secure their business.”

“If our assumptions are correct, then we can get Hinakawa to enhance the video first thing tomorrow and we’ll be able to locate it.”

“Thinking about tomorrow already?”

Akane chuckles, holding back a yawn. “I’m usually asleep at this hour. I think my body’s protesting a little bit, despite the coffee.”

“You still have some?”

“I have plenty more.”

“Ok. Just nap if you need to, I got this.”

Akane shakes her head. “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“Neither do I.”

But he’s not looking at the scene; he hasn’t been looking at it for very long.

They’re not talking about the same thing.

***

It’s been three hours, and not a single soul has moved around them, only the comings and goings of light rain, hopefully signaling the weather improving as the day turns another page. Holo technology has surpassed the challenges of weather, and so they wait comfortably, warm and dry inside the car.

“I used to have a deck of cards when I did stake-outs.”

Akane yawns, keeping her eyes glued to the building. The clock on the dashboard is moving far too slow for her liking, but she admits, Kogami is never boring.

“There are games on our devices, did you know?”

“I don’t recall having that functionality.”

“That’s because it’s a secret. Here, give me.” She grabs his wrist, tinkering around on the menu that opens into another, and another.

“Hmm. Weird.”

Kogami shifts, trying to get in the same vantage point. It brings their faces closer, almost touching, and when he turns his cheek, she jolts.

“What’s weird?” He remains still, not wanting to startle her unnecessarily.

“I-I guess you don’t have the same,” she mutters.

“Guess not.”

His proximity blankets a delicate tension over them, one she’s been trying to avoid but has been floating, taking unnecessary space in the back of her head.

“Kogami-san,” she leans back to her seat, sipping a bit of her coffee and deciding she might need something a lot stronger.

“Yes?”

The question she had dies in the back of her throat, and in a haze of recklessness, she decides it probably won’t hurt.

“We should get one-cup sake.”

Kogami raises a brow. “What?”

“You heard me. Just one. You don’t see it in conbinis in the city. We should try some.”

“For sharing or one each?”

“Don’t be a baby. One each.”

The smile tugging at the edge of his lips is telling; what does a reckless man do with another’s recklessness?

“I’ll be right back.”

***

He didn’t take very long, though the waiting became so unbearable that the sight of him coming out from the side street, plastic bag in hand and puffing away with a stick in his mouth, gave her so much relief. Snuffing out his cigarette in a nearby bin, Kogami opens the door, and the scent of spinels wafts in the air.

“Two cups of sake, for the hardworking detectives!” He places the plastic bag on her lap, glancing at the building for a moment. “Anything happen while I was gone?”

“Nope,” she replies, playfully popping the sound of p as she scrutinizes the contents of the bag. “Congratulations, you got your peanuts. And more snacks, too, I see.”

The pastry bag is still in the backseat, untouched.

“I bought those for you, you know.”

“Well, Kogami-san,” she hands him the cup with a tilt of her chin. “Never assume a woman is saying otherwise when she already said no.”

He relents, apologetic, even, and grabs her cup to open it for her.

“Lesson learned.”

“Thanks,” she says, placing the cup on the dashboard while she opens a bag of peanuts and jerky bites. “I like these.”

“Noted.”

“One word conversations now?”

“Hardly. Just waiting for the first toast.”

Finally, the satisfying clink of their glasses brings a smile on their faces, even if the first sip does not.

“Well, that tastes like shit.” Kogami grunts, digging his hand in the peanut packet and putting some in his mouth.

Akane agrees, her face equally contorted with the bitterness drawing a hot line down her throat. “I think I understand now why it’s not in stores.”

“Are you regretting we each got one? We should have shared.”

“Nah,” she says, taking another sip and chasing it down with a piece of jerky. “Regrets aren’t my thing.”

Kogami glances at the building, leaning forward on the steering wheel. “Yeah, that’s more my thing.”

She watches, pensively, as he braves another sip, his jaw tightening.

“I had an easier life.”

“I could have chosen that, too,” he simply says, taking another sip like he’s following everything she does. “But I didn’t.”

“You still beat yourself up over that?” she asks, reaching her hand out before he gets another sip in.

It’s just one cup.

Kogami watches her fingers tremble over the cup, and his hand, and decides he likes it better without sparkling things.

“Sometimes,” he says, looking in her eyes. “Not as much as I used to.”

“Good.” She takes her hand away, noting the sensation upon parting. A prickle on the tips of her fingers, warm and electric.

“I know you don’t, but as you saw earlier, my sins have snowballed—”

“I don’t care about that.” Akane averts her gaze, pretending to stare at the building instead. “Surely, you know I don’t.”

They simmer in silence, the subject somehow enabling them to down the liquid a lot faster. For once, they’re both looking at the building outside.

“You know sometimes, I fear that we begin judging everything as secrets worthy of keeping from each other. But I assume things, unfair things, when I don’t tell you everything.”

“But I don’t care about that.” Kogami says, meaning it as he gulps down a larger amount and immediately regrets it. “If I hold things back from you, it’s not because of you.”

A sarcastic laugh bubbles out of her as she swallows down another sip. Touché.

“And for what it’s worth, I’m not actually proud of it, either. I know why I did it, and I meant every word I said earlier. But still… I think between you and I there’s one bigger brain and I’m unfortunately not the owner of it.”

Akane braves the weight of their past, bearing down on her heart, and themselves, standing in each other’s way. Sometimes, things are not better left unsaid.

“I really did mean it when I said there’s nothing to forgive.”

Kogami sighs, hanging his head. “Can I break a promise for just one second, please?”

“Huh?”

“One second.”

Perplexed, Akane shrugs. “I guess?”

He reaches for her hand and kisses it, then releases her, and proceeds to down the rest of his cup in one go.

His face contorting in the worst ways, Akane wishes she’s drunk enough to take a photo for reference, her mind too shocked to process what happened before all that.

“Fuck,” Kogami drawls, tossing his cup in the back seat. “I don’t think it’s hitting but let’s not do this again, okay?”

Akane laughs, knowing full well she won’t be able to pull off imitating his antic, alcohol tolerance, the heat blooming on her cheeks and the ache in her chest notwithstanding.

“Agreed. I’ll buy you a good bottle to compensate for your valiant efforts.”

Kogami smiles, grabbing his coffee cup and sipping the last remnants of a taste more palatable. She offers hers, which he gladly takes. It’s no longer hot, but he sips on the lid unapologetically, because he likes the lingering blush on her cheeks, and the shiver she can’t hold in; a small cup in both hands as she drinks.

He broke a promise now, and he can be cunning, too.

“Saved you some.”

“Thanks.”

“You know what? Maybe we can go in.”

“On the contrary, it seems the alcohol hit quite well,” Akane says, astounded. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Notin in, just… let’s see where our feet take us.”

“A bit risky, don’t you think? We don’t have weapons authorized tonight.”

Kogami stares her down, judging. “I thought we were clear we don’t need them.”

“We’re not validating maps, Kogami-san. We have no clue what’s waiting for us inside.”

“Or there’s nothing and we just wasted an evening.”

“Stop trying to spin the argument when you know your own intuition is the very thing telling you we should head out there—”

“So you agree, then? Because your intuition tells you the same.”

And the hound has her cornered, eyeing her with a devouring gaze.

“We’re just going to check it out for a bit. I promise, no reckless moves.”

Akane rolls her eyes. They’ve already ticked off one reckless move; this is doubling-down with the thrill of temptation. The last sake slides down her throat; she’s convinced that it’s spiked with adrenaline, and stupidity, and she calls on her inner rationality to talk her out of it.

With a shudder, she promises never to drink poison again.

“Let’s go.”

***

The apartment is warm, and unsurprisingly dark. For once, Shizuka comes home sober, managing to close a very important deal without having to down more wine than he can piss, and remembering to bring home a small cake for Akane, too.

He walks lazily inside, loosening his tie and dropping everything save for the cake on the living room sofa. Chiyo activates, rolling towards him and offering to collect his coat, which he declines, and heads straight to the bedroom. The lights illuminate as he steps deeper in the apartment, but he stops short, his peripheral vision noticing something strange in the dining room.

It’s half past three in the morning, and if his memory serves him, the breakfast on the table is long overdue.

***

#shizuaka #kouaka #volition #finally its wednesday in volitionverse god

Sun, 28 Nov 2021 14:28:31

volition

I-II-III-IV - V (ao3)

“Your place is on the way, shall I pick you up?”

In the background, she hears shuffling, and a door being closed. Still in her underwear, she would have dressed quickly for the free ride, but she’s not where Kogami thinks she is.

“Thanks, but no need. I need to… pick up some stuff on the way.”

“Still early. We can, if you want.”

“It’s okay, Kogami-san. I’ll meet you outside the Bunkyo Sports Center.”

“Sure. Dropping by a conbini. Want anything?”

With a smile, Akane decides on iced coffee. Kogami will still get her that yakisoba bun, even if she says she isn’t hungry, which compounds her guilt when she sees a delectable intercontinental breakfast laid out for her in the dining room.

“Chiyo… I’m so sorry, I’m running late today. Can you keep it for me? I will eat it when I get home, I promise!” She picks up her bag to get her makeup, heading back to the dressing room to finish getting ready.

The drone’s holo panel lights up. “As you wish, Miss Tsunemori. Do you need help getting dressed?”

Akane chuckles. Such a question certainly made sense after skipping about the living room in lingerie. “No, thank you. I really appreciate the effort, Chiyo. Did Shizuka eat breakfast?”

“No, Miss. He also doesn’t eat breakfast, like you.”

Akane peeks behind her reflection, where Chiyo is also peeking from the entrance of the room. “He told you to make me breakfast, then?”

“Yes, Miss. Would you like some coffee instead? Master came back with arabica beans from Brazil last night.”

Smiling, she nods. “An espresso would be nice.”

Chiyo’s panel lights up again, and she disappears immediately to the kitchen, where the distinctive rumble of the espresso machine, and the scent of freshly brewed coffee fills the room.

***

They’ve gone through several blocks within the past hour, doing the same task as before. Kei’s team had accomplished two raids yesterday, so it seems the area is fairly quiet. More will happen in the next few days as they gather information, but that’s a job for Kei’s team. Arata’s team has less of a concrete direction, not that it makes it any easier. Past experience has taught her that the blocks will always have secrets, and who gets to reveal them isn’t always a matter of choice.

“Not your flavor?”

Akane pauses before it occurs to her that he’s referring to the barely touched iced coffee in her hand.

“Yeah it’s a little—” Bland, is what she genuinely thinks, but she doesn’t want to elaborate on it.

Kogami takes the coffee from her hand, shaking it a little before sipping casually from the same straw. Such a gesture would have made her feel awkward, but all things considered, they were probably past that stage.

“It’s not that bad,” he defends, handing it back to her. “Or is it too milky?”

“You can have it. I think I like the punchier flavor of an espresso.”

“Ahh. Elevated tastes,” Kogami teases, proceeding to empty the rest of the cup in one, long sip. “You’re not gonna go full aristocrat on me, are you?”

“Stop,“ Akane chuckles, flicking her wrist to check their map. "I just tried new things and happened to like it.”

“We’re done in this area. Isn’t it funny how Myogadani is so relatively normal on the surface, and yet most of the raids are here rather than in the other blocks? I’m inclined to think that most of the known data we have is outdated, even.”

“Hiding in plain sight, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“If it is,” Kogami disposes of the empty cup in a nearby bin, “then we’ll probably have more excitement towards the end of the week. Where to, next?”

“South side. Ah, look!” Akane shows her screen to Kogami. “Totally different case for Irie and Arata.”

“Hmm. Residents making it hard for the CID… Ever had that happen to you before?”

“Not with my contacts.”

“These guys must have something to lose.”

“Economic benefit—”

“—trumps illegality.”

Their gazes meet, smiles barely contained. Akane doesn’t often notice how much she appreciates the ease of working with him, how they fall into each other’s rhythm without preamble, and how they share the thrill of the challenges in their job. The weight of their investigation looms around the corner; she already has an idea where this will all lead to, even if Shizuka hasn’t fully disclosed it all, but she will remember that there are moments like these that she wants to keep prolonging, moments that are just plain fun.

"I should get a contact there to help them out.”

“Irie is way ahead of you,” Kogami says, pointing at the message notification at the side of the screen.

“Oh, perfect! Old Takagi-san will be a good help for them in that area.” Akane presses the thumbs-up icon, and turns off the screen. “Let’s go? We can take the shortcut across the road.”

“Let’s.”

They step out onto the main road, taking the sidewalks to head back when the beeping horn of a parked black sedan catches their attention.

Kogami notices the familiar model, and one glance at the plate number tells him all he needs to know.

“Hanashiro?”

Akane does a double-take, and indeed, Kogami’s boss steps out of the car, resting her arms on the top of the open door.

“I heard you’re making some good progress,” she says, with a tone that matches her feigned interest in their fieldwork.

Akane’s experience with Hanashiro was short, though the time was enough to deduce a few things about her. Headstrong, beautiful, and a boss in her own right, Hanashiro knows what she’s after and will never hesitate to deploy any and all means to achieve it. She does what is needed to get ahead, and rarely is it ever personal, except maybe when it is.

While the MWPSB far exceeded the MFA in both manpower and influence in the city, Shizuka’s decision to keep the initial investigation between the two of them has more to do with Hanashiro’s potential to overtake them when the interests of the MFA are involved. Working with her will always have competitiveness attached, and anyone who gets caught sleeping loses.

Even as he casually approaches, Akane can tell the gears are turning in Kogami’s head. He stops a few steps away from where she stands, Hanashiro purposely blocking his view inside the car with a shift of her hip, pulling the door along with her. Akane stays behind him, noticing that there is indeed a person inside the car.

“What brings you to Tokyo?”

“Official business. Escorting a guest so special I got permission to interrupt your little mission today,” Hanashiro says, excitement dancing behind her eyes.

Akane can’t ever recall seeing this side of her in front of Kogami; those teases are often reserved for Mika, and does not conceal it as a source of enjoyment. She surmises her manner of speaking is, in fact, quite natural between the two of them, but now Akane wonders why she’s never noticed it before…

“Interrupt how? We need to get started or we’ll run out of time to cover the area.”

“Relax! I can even show you the one word reply from,” Hanashiro tries to peek at Akane, who had started browsing through her phone, “her boss.”

Akane raises her head. “Sorry?”

“I’m going to have to steal him,” Hanashiro says with a smile revealing all her teeth. “Or more accurately, steal him on behalf of someone else.”

“Wait, what?” Kogami looks back at Akane, who replies with a confused shrug.

They’ve received no such message, but if Shizuka only gave a one-word reply then she supposes he wouldn’t be going around informing anyone what he agreed to.

“You’re excused for the day. Sorry, Tsunemori but—”

“Ah! Tsunemori!”

The owner of the high-pitched voice steps out of the car, running past a stunned Kogami to head straight towards Akane.

Tanned skin, dark hair, big, brown eyes, Tenzing Wangchuk is no longer the child described in Kogami’s stories, though perhaps her excitement, circling around Akane with shining eyes, would make up for the age deficit.

“The famous Miss Tsunemori Akane! I can’t believe I’m looking at you, can I touch—” Tenzing proceeds to poke at her cheek once, giggling. “You are really it! I can’t believe it!”

Akane casts a nervous glance at Kogami, who looks just as confused. He turns to Hanashiro, who watches amusingly, mouthing she’s the special guest, as if that isn’t clear enough already.

“Tsunemori-san, let me introduce you to Tenzing Wangchuk, who is an honorary guest of the Japanese Immigrants Association in Dejima.”

***

Sure. I’ve got stories from my long trip.

The stories were simple and fragmented; as if he were looking over his shoulder, recounting things from a distance. He was always straightforward about the harsh realities that existed outside Japan, but every so often he would talk about the nice things; people he met, recipes he cooked, the words “thank you” in different languages. She would watch the varying emotions play on his face, and when she couldn’t, would hear the tinges of nostalgia seep from his voice.

He spoke of Tenzing in an affectionate way, like a little sister, or even a child, he never had. She was an enthusiastic, happy girl, a fast learner and curious student, but in places where peace is scarce, even the innocent weren’t spared of falling into the traps of revenge.

“I couldn’t see her before I left.”

Staring at the distance, the smoke escaped his lips, disappearing into the wind like the things he left unsaid.

***

“What are you doing here?”

There’s an unmistakable softness in the way he embraces her, clashing with her spirited greeting, almost toppling him over when she dashed for a hug. Hanashiro comes up next to them, patting Tenzing’s head as she extends her arm to include her.

The gesture puts their faces really close to each other, Hanashiro giving Kogami a knowing look before Tenzing lets them go.

He steps back, hand in his chin.

“You’ve gotten taller.”

“Of course I have! Your clothes don’t suit you!”

Kogami laughs, hanging his head.

“Now who taught you to be rude?”

“She’s been taught a great deal of things,” Hanashiro says, stroking Tenzing’s cheek. “And she’s here with a mission, so don’t think you’ll only be babysitting today.”

There’s a smile, tugging at Akane’s lips, pulling from somewhere deep in her chest. She is but a spectator here, gazing at a scene she can’t touch.

“I’m not a baby!”

“No, you’re not,” Hanashiro says, turning to Akane, who had been standing a small distance between them. “I’m taking him today, can you manage?”

“Yes.”

“No!”

Akane stares him up and down, slightly offended. “I can manage things myself.”

“Yeah but,“ Kogami walks past Tenzing and approaches her. The two head back to the car, chatting casually about where they want to eat.

"Why not join us for a bit, I think you’ll really like her. I mean, for some reason she’s taken a liking to you, after all.”

She frowns. “It’s not about that, of course I’d love to, but I can’t afford to fall behind on the work.”

“I’ll even do it myself after hours, I’d rather you just come with us now,” Kogami says, balling his fists to resist touching her. “I won’t sleep until I finish everything.”

“You’re asking as if I’d let you do it alone.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that, so you shouldn’t let me do this alone either, right?” Kogami asks softly.

Akane sighs, relenting. “I’d like to know what I’m tagging along for.”

He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wish I knew. But let me promise you, then.”

“You need to stop making that a habit.”

“What?”

“Promising.”

“Haven’t I been a man of my word?”

She rolls her eyes. “So what is it this time?”

“I’ll let you go the minute you ask me to.”

“You cheeky bastard.”

“Thanks,” he says with a wink.

He should probably refrain from doing thattoo, Akane thinks, breaking into a smile.

“Let’s go?”

***

Tenzing insisted they sit at the back, while Hanashiro takes the wheel and Kogami sits in the passenger seat. The young lady starts asking her all kinds of questions, but soon it becomes clear why she was even interested.

“I read a file about you being one of the youngest scorers in the Employment Aptitude Exams—found it really funny that Kogami-sensei was the top-scorer before you came along!”

Kogami pauses mid-conversation with Hanashiro, turning in his seat to say, “Don’t call me sensei.”

Tenzing responds with a giggle, ignoring him to whisper to Akane. “It makes him uncomfortable.”

“Was he a good sensei?”

“The worst!” Hanashiro and Tenzing reply in unison, making Akane laugh as she steals a glance at his side profile. There might be a hint of a blush on his cheek, but she looks away before scrutinizing it.

“I think it’s nice that you don’t need to go to University, thanks to Sibyl. It’s convenient, that’s for sure. I’m doing advanced courses right now and one of the first things they told me when I arrived here was that it’s all a waste of time and that I should just sign up for the Employment Aptitude Exam instead, as if I’m here to stay! The Japanese are quite ignorant of things going on in the outside world, don’t you think?”

“Well, I admit if not for Kogami-san I wouldn’t know that much about the outside world, either.”

“If you come to my country, I will show you around!”

Akane hesitates, noticing Kogami’s head shift slightly from her peripheral vision.

“Thank you for the offer,” she says, chest heavy. If there’s anything she envies, it’s Kogami’s years of traveling and living among different places and cultures, despite the danger that he faced.

Tenzing proceeds to tell her about her studies as a completely different conversation begins to take place in the front seats, Kogami turning serious while Hanashiro’s voice lowers significantly. Akane tries hard to split her attention, only catching bits and pieces while trying to maintain a conversation with Tenzing, the words tribunal and acquittal hanging in her ears.

“Tenzing here would like to try conveyor belt sushi. Any recommendations, Tsunemori?”

Akane jumps, surprised that Hanashiro had abandoned their conversation. She wonders if she could tell she was trying to listen in, but instead brushes it aside and rattles her brain, looking out the window and surprised to see they’re in the area surrounding the Nona Tower.

“I don’t really… come here that often. Hmm. Let me give Arata a call,” she says, grabbing her phone from her bag. “I should tell him what we’re up to, he wasn’t answering earlier.”

“Let me do it,” Kogami says, already dialing Arata’s number. “Park there,” he points, and they get out of the car while he chats away with the young inspector.

***

Kogami was a gracious host, introducing Tenzing to the basics of conveyor belt sushi. Their small plates stacked up against each other, Tenzing easily matched Kogami’s appetite and challenged his budget as red and gold plates multiplied before their eyes. He joked about having to cut down on his tobacco supply until his next payday while thanking Akane and Hanashiro for having only a few servings. Unsurprisingly, Tenzing still had room for mochi, which he happily picked out from the conveyor belt for her to enjoy.

Since then, he has been very quiet, opting to let Tenzing do most of the talking as they make their way to the entrance of the Nona Tower. Akane tags along, taking Kogami’s silence as a hint that their purpose here has something to do with him.

“78th Floor. You will be guided once you reach upstairs. One way entry and exit only.”

The receptionist gave the passes to Tenzing and Kogami, while Hanashiro and Akane only had to log in their entry. Hanashiro leads, followed by Kogami. Akane is not far behind, ushering Tenzing as she gawks wide-eyed at the building’s sheer size and interiors.

Stepping on the escalator, it occurs to her that this is the first time she’s entering the Nona Tower with Kogami after the helmet riots. With a numbing ache in her chest, her memory flashes back to him standing in front of her, Dominator and helmet in his hands.

He was younger and hungrier, then; a double-edged sword.

Kogami looks back and meets her gaze, as if he knows exactly what’s going on in her head. He is thirty-seven, still a little rough around the edges, somehow still the same man. A smile tugs at her lips, and he returns it, soft but not without a tinge of sorrow she knows is not a figment of her imagination, before turning away.

***

Another receptionist escorts them to a large room that’s similar to the meeting rooms in the CID. Two long tables face each other with a large space between for the holo projector. Behind each table, there are three seats. Kogami, Tenzing and Hanashiro are asked to sit on one side.

The receptionist extends her hand, blocking Akane by the door. “I’m sorry, Miss. You were not part of the list so I will have to ask you to wait outside.”

“Surely she can sit in one of the chairs?” Hanashiro requests. “She is a Statutory Enforcer in the CID.”

“I’m sorry, Madam, did you just say she is an Enforcer?”

“Statutory Enforcer. Let her in.”

“At once, sir!” The receptionist quickly steps aside, closing the door behind Akane as Shizuka’s footsteps echo from the other end of the room.

He arrives behind a chair on the opposite table, pulling it out and locking gazes with Akane across the room. She approaches slowly, full of questions.

Shizuka makes no effort to acknowledge the other people in the room until she’s seated, and proceeds to face them with a curt bow.

“Joshu Kasei will join in a few minutes. In the meantime, please feel free to discuss among yourselves or call the receptionist if you would like some refreshments.”

Unbuttoning his suit, he sits next to Akane, swiveling his chair so they’re facing each other. The distance between the two tables is far enough that he knows he won’t be overheard, but he smirks, lowering his voice anyway.

“My, my. You don’t know why you’re here, do you?”

“No. What the hell is going on?”

“Come, let’s get some coffee.” He stands once more, holding out his hand, which she takes without thinking. Her hesitation is caught by his deft fingers, closing over hers as he pulls her up before she can pull away.

***

The espresso machine is unlike the one they have in the CID or at home, and the moment the coffee meets his lips, Shizuka’s expression sours. He digs his hand in the jar with the aluminum capsules, looking for a different flavor. Finding an interesting one, he slots it in the machine and waits for it to disperse the liquid in Akane’s cup.

“Here,” he hands her the cup but snatches it back, taking a sip. “Not great but better.” His is emptied in the sink and he digs into the jar again to find the same capsule.

“Ok stop stalling,” Akane says, resting her hip against the counter. She smells the liquid and sips, indeed it’s not better than the one Chiyo brewed for her this morning, or even the ones they get at the CID. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not,” he says, taking his cup from the machine, leaning with his back against the counter. “I was only informed an hour ago. Hanashiro’s got some muscle, getting this organized on such short notice. I’m very impressed.”

“But what isthis?”

Shizuka meets her gaze, pensive. “It’s a specialized tribunal, requested by the Japanese Immigrants Association in Dejima and backed by the MFA, on behalf of Tenzing Wangchuk.”

“For what purpose?”

“To clear Kogami’s name.”

***

They return to the room just as Kasei walks in. The hologram is activated, projecting a man sitting next to Kasei’s side of the table. Akane recognizes him as Shizuka’s counterpart in the MFA, Tadano Kawasaki. Though not very active in the capital, Kawasaki and the MFA play only second to the Ministry of Welfare when it comes to overall influence and control.

“I do not recall inviting another party to this tribunal,” Kawasaki comments.

“She is my guest,” Kasei responds, surprising Akane. “The summoned was a subordinate of hers—”

“I respectfully request that Tsunemori remain an observer in these proceedings,” Shizuka interjects sharply. “Her past professional relationship with the summoned has no bearing on the judgment to be made today.”

“I second this,” Hanashiro adds, casting a glance at Kogami.

He shrugs, deadpanned with arms crossed, staring straight at Kasei as if he knows how much his mere presence is a nuisance to both Sibyl and the former Chief of the CID. Next to him, Tenzing is the complete opposite; sitting up confidently, hands clasped in front, looking neither intimidated or less determined being surrounded by very powerful people.

Kawasaki nods. “The scope only refers to the events in the Tibet-Himalayan Alliance Kingdom, let’s stick to that.”

Kasei smirks, overruled. “Fine.”

***

“It’s been almost five years since Kogami left the Tibet-Himalayan Alliance Kingdom, where Hanashiro found and subsequently recruited him. Since then, leadership had changed hands, and Tenzing’s activity in the capital has gained traction, especially after being appointed a spokesperson for the youth.”

Shizuka finished his cup, holding out a hand to take hers. “As her sphere of influence grows, she’s made it a mission to disclose the truths behind the peace talks during Guillermo Garcia’s leadership of the Peace Monitoring Group, including their involvement in the death of her family, and what eventually led to Kogami taking the fall so that…”

His words slowed as Akane’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“This is classified information, yes, but I thought you knew this already.”

“I knew about Tenzing, yes but,” she shook her head, “this is the first time I’m hearing about Kogami.”

“He left the Kingdom as a fugitive. Tenzing is requesting that the Government of Japan, or in this case, the Ministries handling law enforcement, to vouch for Kogami so that his name will be cleared in the Kingdom.“

“I still don’t understand.”

"Back when Kogami was also in the Kingdom, a man named Guillermo Garcia led the so-called Peace Monitoring Group, essentially a group of peacekeepers hired by governments to settle disputes. To put it simply, Garcia made a business out of political instability and racial tension. His modus was to create the same conflicts his Peace Monitoring Group steps in to solve. In this case he orchestrated the murder of a clan leader who opposed his involvement in the peace talks. It’s been reported that this clan leader saw through him, so Garcia had him disposed of.”

“But what does Kogami-san have to do with it?”

“The peace talks had already concluded by the time Garcia had to pay for his sins, but it was precarious to reveal the deception that triggered the talks to begin with, so Kogami, before leaving the Kingdom, took the fall for it, letting himself be the one blamed for the murder of the clan leader. As of today, the bounty on his head still stands, even though the one who set it up, a man named Tshering and is now the leader of the Peace Monitoring Group, did so on Kogami’s orders.”

Akane is stunned, gaze drifting to the closed door as if she could see Kogami right through it. “Is he fucking stupid?”

Though slightly amused at her remark, Shizuka stilled, watching intently the anxiety spreading across her face.

“Tshering worked with Tenzing and her uncle Kinrei to clear up the story, and as far as the Peace Monitoring Group is concerned, the bounty is waived. Public opinion has already shifted in favor of Kogami, but the Kingdom would not accept anything less than an official pardon from an objective source, hence both his record of guilt and the bounty stands.”

“And that’s why they’re here.” She turns to him, voice trembling. “What’s going to happen today?”

“We’ll hear out their side, weigh in on it. The outcome is not a pardon, as what the Kingdom wants, but a judgment on Kogami’s actions at the time of the incidents involving the case. It will have no bearing on his standing here, but if they accept it, it’s enough to vouch for his character and lift whatever sanctions or restrictions they imposed on him, and he can freely come back there without a bounty on his head, at least. It might even give him an opportunity to be considered a hero.”

“You and who else?”

“Kawasaki, myself, and Sibyl.” Shizuka stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, drawing her close. “Nothing’s going to change here, you shouldn’t worry too much.”

Akane closed her eyes, nodding against him. “I wish it’s that easy. Sibyl and Kogami are never a great combination. They can’t just waltz in here and expect to get what they want.”

“I am more worried that Kasei will use you. No doubt they already know you have entered the building, even if they had not intended you to bear witness to this.”

She stepped away, planting her hands on his chest. “What are his chances?”

“You are probably the better judge of that.”

“I don’t mean against Sibyl. I meant against you.”

He softened, taking her hands in his. “I will hear the truth, Akane. I’m not here to destroy him.”

She nodded, resting her head on his chest and sighing out the tension when she felt his lips on her crown. “I don’t want him to feel like he’s lost before he even starts”

“Then he needs to trust me, as much as he does you.”

***

#volition #shizuaka #kouaka

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 14:30:23

volition

I-II-III - IV (ao3)

Akihabara in the afternoon was uneventful at best, though the weather contributed to the struggle. Unlike that morning, the surprises were slim; Akane would even classify them as ordinary. For a country not in war, weapons are never in short supply. Everyone knows weapons pass through the blocks as easily as food, and the safety hazard of storing ammunition and explosives have not stopped crime syndicates from using old warehouses in the area as storage.

They discover two weapon storage sites and an automated production line for drugs that are out of patent and outdated. These drugs have been replaced with better, more effective medicine, so the syndicates have instead continued manufacturing illegally to be sold in other countries for a ridiculous price. In a place unmanned and unregulated, figuring out the holes in the system became a matter of mixing legal and illegal means, building complex supply chains that ensured movement of large quantities under the radar. Years of operations and lots of money involved, all without Sibyl’s intervention. As they say in the blocks, moving in the shadows is not hard when you know where the light hits.

On their way back to the CID, their holo device registers a meeting invitation from Shizuka to meet at the conference room that evening.

“Whole team?”

“Yes.” Akane hugs her knees to her chest, yawning when she bows her head. “I have a feeling Pleasure Island is the least of our worries. Maybe that’s why he wants it out of the way.”

“Yeah.” Kogami taps the steering wheel, itching to light a cigarette. No chance to open the window while it’s still raining outside. “As much as I want to antagonize him, the building is essentially inside Sibyl territory, so if anything shady was going on there it would have been flagged long ago.”

Akane looks at him with a bitter smile. “You know you can choose not to antagonize each other.”

“Glad to know the feeling is mutual. In that we antagonize each other.”

“One of these days I’m going to stop talking to you both.”

“Whoa!” Kogami puts his hands up. “That’s a non-negotiable for me. I’ll behave. But of course feel free to stop talking to him.””

She rolls her eyes. “You and your promises.”

“That wasn’t a promise, but just to remind you, I haven’t broken mypromise yet.“

"And yet you have a caveat on it.”

“I’m being forthcoming,” Kogami says, watching the expression on her face. Something he learned recently is that he can push as much as he can, because she gives him so much room. Then, of course, she gets caught in it, but that’s the time he has to be the one to hold back.

One of these days, he won’t be able to.

***

Kei’s team is already in the conference room when they arrive, occupying one side of the table. They exchange in friendly conversation, updating each other on the events of the day. Shimotsuki is busy looking over the data in her screens, only looking up to greet Akane when she takes her seat across. The seat between them is empty, though its occupant arrives only a minute later, and not by the side entrance where she expected him.

Shizuka gestures for people to sit, making a beeline for the head of the table without speaking. Unlike the atmosphere in the room, his serious expression has all but made the chatter die down.

“Good evening and sorry for the short notice, but I don’t think this is something that needs to wait considering your busy schedules.”

He doesn’t sit, nor look at anyone in particular when he pulls up several screens in front of them.

“I have released these documents to you, but in the interest of not wasting your time I’m summarizing key information that I believe are important to note. Earlier, Arata’s team had confirmed but not recorded map data for an establishment whose entrance is in the old subway station in the Akihabara block. This place, called Pleasure Island, sells sexual services, and is actually a private and legal business that is, as of this afternoon, now owned by me.”

His evenly paced monotone reveals more about his exhaustion as he flips through some of the blueprints of the building, explaining some of the intricate qualities of the establishment like advanced bio-data scanning, a patented technology akin to cymatic scans that focuses on biological indicators and physical attributes.

Akane uncomfortably shifts in her seat, fixing her jacket as she recalls how the AI was able to see through her holo overlay when it was kept on the whole time. She feels Kogami’s eyes land on her, which she pointedly ignores, choosing instead to focus on the screen.

“These technologies serve two main objectives: to enable complete anonymity in the establishment, and to facilitate the AIs and the workers in providing the optimal service to its clients. Another added benefit to it, is that it acts as its own kind of pre-cymatic scan. Clients do not usually associate the location of the building to be a factor, as I am assuming Arata’s team already deduced, but as soon as clients leave the jurisdiction of the abolition block, cymatic scanning is enabled on every corner of the building. This allows full monitoring and alert in case anyone happens to enter the establishment with a high CC, and is immediately reported to the CID without disrupting operations.”

“Why did we lose connection inside?” Kogami asks, tapping a cigarette stick on the table, Mika staring menacingly at it.

“Privacy, and only for applications or devices that are meant to record anything. It’s part of the agreements set forth and approved due to the sensitivity of what happens inside. Also for the protection of the employees. This signal blocking is only on the areas that the business occupies, which is why you got your markers back the moment you left the premises.”

“So how does the establishment deal with threats?” Todoroki asks.

It’s Arata who answers.

“They do their job first, I presume. It’s a common medical fact that sexual satisfaction lowers CCs to a degree, and even serves as therapy for some.”

“Yes, indeed. And they’re legally obliged to provide the service once the client has paid.”

“Doesn’t that pose a risk?” Kei asks. “By assuming anyone who walks in is only there to avail of services, how does it ensure that it is still safe to operate?”

“It works the same with anyone who happens to be anywhere in the city with a high CC,” Arata answers again.

“Right, but because of the nature of the establishment, psycho-hazards only become a risk the moment they leave the place. Upon checking this afternoon I found a few reports that were linked to Pleasure Island, but the arrests were done some distance from it, not even directly outside, which had enabled it to fly under the radar and operate like normal. In case a situation arises that they need to act, the establishment is equipped with tranquilizers and has a military-grade drone that can be deployed. Still, their only job is to subdue the criminal until the CID can get to them.”

“This rules out the possibility of using the establishment as a place to discuss illicit dealings,” Akane thinks out loud.

Shizuka, for the first time, shows some emotion on his face, glancing at her with pride.

“Correct. By design, Pleasure Island is focused on meeting the needs of its clientele and nothing more. Besides, it only takes one criminal to get arrested after visiting the establishment for them to mark it as high-risk.”

What follows is silence, which Shizuka takes as his cue to end the meeting.

“I am disclosing this because I believe it’s better to focus on more important matters. You have full access to the documents so feel free to scrutinize it in case you have doubts, and of course you will have my full support should you need to investigate further. Clear?”

“Clear.”

“Alright. Go home.”

“They can’t,” Mika replies. “Debrief first, make it quick so all of us can go home.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it. Thank you, everyone.”

Their eyes meet briefly, Akane relieved to see a crack in his icy demeanor since that afternoon, and for a moment she considers running after him when he walks to the side exit.

It’s when she doesn’t meet him in his office later that she begins questioning if she was just imagining things.

***

He’s not home at ten, and once again she ends up waiting for him to come home. As she lies beneath soft sheets and wonders where Shizuka is and what’s keeping him busy, she fixes her gaze outside the window where the view of the rain-drenched balcony mirrors quite accurately the state of her heart.

***

Yuzu shuffles out of the bed, jostling her awake. The lights in the bedroom were turned off, and outside, the worst seems to be over, only misty rain and clear night sky, and Shizuka, walking to the infinity pool, makes her sit up to watch.

Still fully dressed, he is holding a glass of whiskey as he walks toward the water. He dips his feet before stepping in completely, sinking with every step he takes. By the time he reaches the edge, only his whiskey is safe from being drenched.

Akane leaves the bed, stepping out to the balcony without thinking. It’s cold, and the wind bites even beneath her thin nightgown, the drizzle dampening the fabric, making her shiver as she calls out.

“You’re going to catch a cold.”

Shizuka turns his head, sparing a moment to let his eyes wander over her body before facing away. “Speak for yourself.”

Indeed, it is cold, but maybe the numbing sensation is good for his unsettled mind. Water ripples around him, and he rests his chin on his arms, resisting the urge to meet her in the middle as she swims to him.

Akane takes his glass, gulping the whiskey down in one swig. His liquor is not always an easy drink, but she loves the heat tracing a line down her throat, spreading lightness across her chest.

Shizuka watches, fixated on the subtle contortion of her features at the taste, and the way her lips curl, savoring the sensations. The moment passes quickly, Akane placing the empty glass back in his hand. He’s already drunk anyway.

They stay silent for a long while, just staring at the view before them. It’s late on a Monday evening, but the lights in the city are alive, little beams dancing in her vision as she blinks away the mist and her own sleepiness.

Akane’s chest aches. Their silence is poison, slowly eating at them both. She misses him but can’t say, and her secrets are accumulating, weighing her down.

“What happened earlier…” her teeth chatters, and Shizuka, without looking, puts his hand on top of her head, reminding her to submerge her head fully in the water.

It helps, but only just, more so because his hand is no longer there when she emerges from the water, and she realizes there’s something more than his absence that she can’t stand.

“I’m cold.”

Shizuka leaves the glass on the edge, running his index finger over the rim. “And?”

Akane, delirious, presses against his side and abandons her hold on the edge of the pool, clutching the wet fabric of his clothes so she can whisper in his ear.

“Warm me up.”

Shizuka finally looks at her again, slow and dangerous. A shiver crawls up her spine, nothing to do with the chill in the air, only the lure of his gaze giving away his inevitable surrender. His arm snakes around her waist, pulling her close, and when her back hits the wall and his lips render her breathless, Akane’s whole body comes alive.

***

Beneath the water, his tease is incessant, trapping her against his hip to rub himself against, letting her feel him grow hard with every pass. The slow grind barely satisfies her, Shizuka derailing her attempts to undress him as he peels off the nightgown down her shoulders and latches a mouth to her breast.

He smirks against her skin, licking a stripe across her chest while he slides his hand behind, slipping her panties aside to dip his fingers in. Swallowing her whimpers, he curls his tongue over the roof of her mouth as the pads of his fingers scrape against her walls.

Thighs shaking, Akane throws her head back, knocking over the whiskey glass when she comes. He catches the back of her head with his free hand, laughing as she moans hot against his mouth, riding out her orgasm. Misty-eyed, she pulls at his shirt, clinging, pleading for more.

So he takes her inside, soaking the floors and carpets while they strip away their clothing. Taking the weight off feels liberating, and beneath the heat of the spray, Shizuka presses her against the walls of the shower, in tangled arms and hoisted legs, swallowing her moans with every thrust.

***

“I’m going to catch a cold,” Akane mutters, sniffling against him as he deposits her on the bed. Convincing her to forego clothing wasn’t hard, she’s too sleepy to insist otherwise, and too spent, albeit in a good way, to care.

“I’ll keep you warm,” he promises, sliding next to her and tucking them under the sheets.

The lights dim, leaving only the moon and the last lights of the city peeking through the open curtains. Shizuka lies on his side, facing her with a contented smile, and she finds the courage that’s been missing ever since she came back from the weekend.

“What happened earlier… we were—”

“Have I ever told you that Yuzu is genetically modified?”

Stunned, Akane can only shake her head and watch as he turns to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling.

Shizuka threads his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes. “He’s going to live long enough to see me through old age. Which was a problem, you see, because when my father gave him to me, he didn’t like me one bit. I thought at the time, was it because I was adopted? Could he tell that I didn’t share the same blood as the master of the house?”

Silence weighs heavily between them; at Akane, seeing through his deflection, trying hard to place reason behind his actions, and Shizuka, who stubbornly continues even as he senses her unease mounting.

“My father was too busy piling expectations on my shoulders. Still does.”

Shizuka sighs, dropping his hand to rest on his chest. “Dogs, they… they’re not so hard to win over. I gave him everything, and he warmed up to me. Now he’s so loyal he will never leave.”

“Shizuka,” Akane reaches across, placing her hand over his. “I’m trying to talk to you.”

“And I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want you thinking about it. Or about him.”

Holding her hand, he finds the spaces between her fingers and remembers how perfectly he fits there. Beneath his exhaustion, his body gives way, trembling as his pride slips with the tattered remains of a mask he knows she sees through anyway.

“Forgive me for not being clear, Akane, but I don’t want to lose you,” he whispers, reverent. He turns away, taking her hand to his lips and kissing it.

His words strike a chord; a soft ache in her chest contrasting with his grip on her heart. Akane fights the heat brimming in the corners of her eyes and snuggles against him, this time, with a smile as she plants a soft kiss on his nape.

***

Akane stands naked, staring at her reflection in the dressing room. Waking up alone in Shizuka’s bed is something she can get used to, but the reminder of the weekend, still vivid on her skin, still strikes her in disbelief. She hasn’t looked at it since using the overlay, and even after a couple of days, the bruise, now a deeper shade of purple, still makes her shiver just looking at it.

Tracing the edges with her thumb, she wills her mind not to recall the first time she was subjected to the depths of Kogami’s passion. Raw and untamed, he is pure force on her small body, never holding back the moment he gets a taste. Like the walls of a dam holding the water at bay, a single crack threatens to unleash wave after wave.

Shaking her head, she reaches for her phone to turn the overlay on. Better that she doesn’t see it, even if it never escapes his gaze, staring unabashedly no matter where he is in the room, eyes saying words his mouth doesn’t.

From the bedroom, she hears her holo device ringing. They agreed to go straight to Myogadani today, opting not to waste time since they needed to cover a larger area compared to yesterday. She has a guess, and if she’s right, Kogami will be calling her phone next.

***

#rating change here #volition #kouaka #shizuaka

Sun, 07 Nov 2021 13:55:51

Ever wonder what it is like to work in Production or QA? Tune in to our stream today at 2pm PT/5pm ET/22:00 BST with Producer Mitch Cronin for some behind the scenes industry insight into how games are made!

#volition #twitch #stream #dev chat #production

@volition tumblr

Thu, 11 Jul 2019 12:40:55

We’ll be streaming today @ 2pm PT/5pm ET/22:00 BST with Principal Designer Damien Allen, and showing off the little known Hasbro Ion console that he developed on before joining Volition!

#disco elysium #harry du bois #volition #rhetoric #everything abt the final dream scene is soooo 3

#volition #stream #hasbro #presentation

@volition tumblr

Thu, 06 Jun 2019 10:23:31

doodle that got carried away. talking to Her

@nyosart

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 19:47:04

A few Disco Elysium valentine cards. ♥ Only wrong answers!

A few Disco Elysium valentine cards. ♥ Only wrong answers!

@I can't explain and won't even try

#long post #disco elysium #valentine cards #valentines #psyche #volition #suggestion #esprit de corps #empathy #inland empire #authority #skills #skill check failure #shaidis arts

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 21:52:41

Nate & Heather as Matt Miller & Kinzie Kensington from Saints Row: The ThirdMatt & Kinz

Nate & Heather as Matt Miller & Kinzie Kensington fromSaints Row: The Third

Matt & Kinzie are two of our absolute favorite characters. Not only are they both amazing / hilarious / ridiculous (almost the whole series is ridiculous and that’s a big plus and only adds to the series’ perfection) on their own, but their banter is effin’ majestic. THE SNARK.

We first wore these at Dragon*Conin2012, then again in 2013atMAGFest&PAX East. Nate wore Decker Matt once more at MAGFestin2014when we had a Deckers group (which will be added to this Master Costume List soon). This is also the costume Nate wore for the 2016 Men vs. Cosplay calendar and at PAX East we got to cut in line to see the Saints Row IV preview because we were in costume!

We have had many awesome times and have made many fun memories in these and they opened the floodgates to many other Matt & Kinzie costumes which will have their own posts soon! <3

(HAVE WE MENTIONED HOW PUMPED WE ARE FOR AGENTS OF MAYHEM HOLY CRAP)