#wholesome existentialism
stories of people suffering for a long time and then healing in their 30s or 40s or 60s or something are the most importanttt thignn in theworld and thingking about them is like wrapping my heart in a warm sheet
Time was meant to be a friend. To nurture, grow, retire, replenish..
And nothing but human injustices makes it our enemy.
So you have survived another holiday season….
What do you do now?
Your hands are shaking from the coldness of relatives…
You stomach aches from avoiding dinner’s canabalism…
You have waded in pools of familial blood and found it thinner than water and running fast away from your heart…
You are the last leaf in winter, hanging to the tree. You are trembling in the winds of life you cannot avoid, but are forced to weather through until they break you.
You cannot change your family tree. You cannot change anything. Only be changed.
And yet when you found yourself in that downward spiral to the earth you realized it was not the end.
The ice of your father. The howls of your mother. The torrential clawing of grandparents and sibblings. None could break you.
Only set you free.
And I will not tell you winter will not come again… After spring is another fall.
But I will remind you that after fall is another spring.
And one day you will be warm with the love of chosen family. You will be somewhere you chose to be. With people you chose to let change you.
One day you will not be a leaf ever falling through external forces. You will be a person.
Beyond metaphor.
Beyond poetry dressing pain.
Beyond your tree.
Free to roam and move against the breeze and enjoy allseasons.
Do not feel guilt if this coming year does not deliver what last year’s could not. Your love is not an infinite distance or time away.
You are moving against the breeze, and
You are closer than you think.
We have survived another holiday season…
What do we do now?
.
Whatever our winds allow.
Be the mad scientist who sees potential in every rotten thing.
Be the scientist who screams ITS ALIVE! when you look in the mirror.
Be your OWN spark for resurrecting your mangled corpse of a life.
Revive
Rejuvinate
Reinvent
you know what? Maybe you can’t do it.
But I promise you, if you can’t its not the end of happiness.
it can be tempting to live your life like a prequel. to live as if you’re setting up your own story.and once you lose the weight, once you have the money, once you graduate school, once you’re in a real relationship, once, once, once. then finally, you’ll begin to live, and everything you do up until that point is some kind of half-life, some unimportant foreword you can skip. don’t do this. inhabit your life completely. sink fully into the wealth of your existence. the power to manifest is in the fearless owning of who you are, so that you can shape where you’re going.
god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic
psychic: these are hieroglyphics… the spirits are trying to communicate…
home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, that’s why you’re not supposed to do that
homeowner: my daughter’s room is always cold… cold like the dead…
home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent
business owner: i got locked in the bathroom even though the door has no lock
home inspector: it has a lock. the lock is right there. on the knob.
Fun fact a scientist who is very not spiritual or superstitious began seeing corner eye hallucinations and feeling intense fear and a presence in his lab around the same time that everyone else in the building was suddenly reporting it haunted.
Determined, he found that the “hauntings” stopped when the industrial air conditioning unit, that had just recently been installed, was turned off. We’ve found that measurable micro vibrations in a structure cause immense fear, and a feeling of a presence and corner eye hallucinations – just like when you watch a scary movie alone at night and you see things move in the corner of your eye or are afraid to go in the cellar because you’re convinced someone’s in there.
Why?
Because many members of our species built homes in and around cliffs and caves for tens of thousands of years. And it’s likely that these certain shaky vibrations give us intense fear and a need to move far away because that would have saved our lives if the cave were collapsing or unstable.
You’ll notice it’s always falling apart, dilapidated homes that are “haunted” - or very very old restored homes. These places might just be slightly structurally unsound. That’s all.
That’s infrasound, sounds that are below 20hz, or the limit of normal human hearing. Things that produce infrasound in nature include severe weather, earthquakes, volcanoes, tigers, alligators, rhinoceros; also known as things that can kill people. We developed an evolutionary sense of dread when our brains perceive sounds we cannot hear. The vibrations from infrasound can also vibrate the eye causing visual hallucinations.
You know what also causes infrasound? A LOT of machines, especially large industrial ones. There’s a reason haunted house stories started popping up in post industrialization. That scientist was Vic Tandy and he wrote about it in a the paper Ghosts in the Machines
“Vic Tandy, experimental officer and part-time lecturer in the school of international studies and law at Coventry University, along with Dr. Tony Lawrence of the University’s psychology department, wrote in 1998 a paper called “Ghosts in the Machine” for the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research. Their research suggested that an infrasonic signal of 19 Hz might be responsible for some ghost sightings. Tandy was working late one night alone in a supposedly haunted laboratory at Warwick, when he felt very anxious and could detect a grey blob out of the corner of his eye. When Tandy turned to face the grey blob, there was nothing.The following day, Tandy was working on his fencing foil, with the handle held in a vice. Although there was nothing touching it, the blade started to vibrate wildly. Further investigation led Tandy to discover that the extractor fan in the lab was emitting a frequency of 18.98 Hz, very close to the resonant frequency of the eye given as 18 Hz by NASA. This, Tandy conjectured, was why he had seen a ghostly figure—it was, he believed, an optical illusion caused by his eyeballs resonating. The room was exactly half a wavelength in length, and the desk was in the centre, thus causing a standing wave which caused the vibration of the foil.“
Okay I didn’t need my eyes to have a resonation frequency but thanks for that, science
No you’re not being haunted.
Your mind is just filled with the deaths of your ancestors
Warning you to Get Out
