Was watching a dumb movie, one of those ones where a bunch of randoms are kidnapped and held hostage and have to escape and get home by the end of the 2 hour 30 minute runtime, and I realized how Wilbur Soot would just ruin this plotline. Imagine you’ve been kidnapped with a bunch of strangers, including this tall British dude named William. You manage to escape and flee the shady abandoned warehouse you were held in, only for Will to stare intensely at the road for a few moments, glance at the trees, spin around in a circle and go “ok so we’re in one of these five possible countries”. wtf. Time passes, you’re on the run, for whatever reason you can’t go to the authorities but oh no you’re being pursued and there’s a field of those small planes ahead but you don’t know how to use them you’ll just get yourself killed and you glance to your side as Will just leisurely jogs past you towards the plane because oh don’t worry he has a pilot license. wtf. And now you’re in the air escaping and Will says it’s time to get you home and then names the block you live on because he’s good at accents it’s his “party trick”. And he drops you off in your neighbourhood in this stolen plane that’s miraculously got enough fuel for all this and he says he has to go because his band is releasing an EP in a couple weeks and he has to get everything sorted in time. When the police ask you to describe the man who helped you a few days later when you go in to report what happened, you don’t really know what to say. Sorry officer, he was a tall British guy named William, I don’t know anything else about him except he really likes bugs. You check Twitter as you leave to see “Wilbur Soot” trending, with the description “Minecraft streamer Wilbur Soot describes how he was kidnapped last week live on Twitch dot tv”. You open Twitch and his face is the top of the trending page with over 100 thousand people watching. His name isn’t even fucking William.
This is so fucking funny.
Just— Oh my Gods
I remember that in the original tags you wrote “I know William is his actual name”. Guess what. Apollo interacted with you. You just didn’t realize.
HIS NAME ISN’T EVEN FUCKING WILLIAM.
It’s 1:30 AM and I’m thinking about this post again.
Just, for context: OP wrote this the 16th of September, then not even 2 days later Wilbur Soot reveals in a MCC practice stream that he’s birth names isn’t, in fact, William like we all thought.
I think this will haunt my mind for eternity.
Just laughing at a silly joke then 2 days later GUESS WHAT BITCH?
@buildmartenjoyer petitioning to use the sentence “His name isn’t even fucking William” anywhere else. I don’t know in which context but damn it should be used somewhere.
Such an iconic line and for what?
I’m hanging up that on my wall.
Anyway, for the people asking: I clipped it at the time. Here’s Wilbur talking about his weird name choices and why he seems to be collecting names started with “Wil” like infinity stones.
Hachikō (ハチ公, 10 November 1923 – 8 March 1935) was a Japanese Akita dog remembered for his remarkable loyalty to his owner, Hidesaburō Ueno, for whom he continued to wait for over nine years following Ueno’s death.
