#aesthetic art
I got inspired by a friend who’s really good at drawing how they feel at the moment and I wanted to try it out. I’ve also been kinda tired of doing pretty much only fanart for many years and on top of that, I haven’t really drawn much lately. Partly because my computer is acting up and partly because I’ve been spending more time going out and being social on my free time outside of pottery classes lately. I used to spend almost all of my freetime alone in my room watching anime while drawing characters from said anime. That was the only time I was being my true self, I lived wearing a mask in front of everyone to the point that I didn’t know who I was. I did that for over 4 years until one day someone at the dorm at my school asked to hang out after I got back early from visiting home and that was the day I dropped the mask. I only put it back on during that summer when I was temporarily back in front of two computer screens next to each other, alone. After summer was over, I no longer felt the need of spending hours upon hours drawing in front of a screen. I still love art, but now that I have a group of friends that are basically found family at this point, I don’t feel the need to use it as a way to kill time. I’m now starting to find the me that was absent during all this time that I spent alone. Despite that, I still kinda miss being able to spend hours on my art. After a whole month of not making a single digital drawing, I finally whipped up this in a couple hours while charging my social battery. However, this piece is more about my current mental state surrounding my identity and social life than this little backstory. It’s been a lot lately with new friends, my artblock, a new fp and my dysphoria. I can’t really explain this with words, but I hope things will get better. It probably will, because I did what I thought would never happen; I dropped the mask. this probably won’t get as much recognition as my fanart would, but I decided to do this anyways. This mental state might even be outdated by the time my queue reaches this post. I’m at least making this post in october, might probably not post until spring because my queue is still packed from the couple months of summer that I spent only drawing.
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