#aisyah syakirah

BEFORE YOU FLIP TABLES

Yesterday was the perfect example of a bad day for me. It was one of those days where nothing just seems to work, you forget everything, you lose stuff, everything goes out of hand, and just as you thought the day couldn’t possibly get worse, something else comes up. Let’s not go into details, suffice it to say the day was just horrendous.

I did, however try my best to stay positive. Told my friend Jaido who was with me that day everything that happened since morning. After hearing me rant about my miserable Sunday, she suddenly lit up- which definitely was a strange reflex. Uhm, hello, why are you happy over my suffering? Her answer was life-changing. She answered, “because your suffering means better things are coming!!!”

That positivity was so admirable MashaAllah. Her words instantly made me feel better. It was somewhat magical because I could have sworn I felt like trash two seconds before. The amount of faith she has for God is so profound. Another lesson I learnt that day was, sometimes we focus too much on the problem, we become somewhat blind towards the blessings existing concurrently. Allah says in the Quran, with hardship comes ease. WITH and not AFTER. SubhanAllah, Jaido was definitely a blessing. She was simply heaven-sent. I’m so fortunate to have such optimistic friends who knows just the right things to say when I’m at my lowest.

When He removes something in your possession it is only in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift. - Ibn Qayyim

So if you’re having one of those days, remember, BETTER THINGS ARE COMING!

*cues “Jason Mraz - Life is Wonderful” in the background*

Love, light and laughter,
Aisyah Shakirah

(Shots taken that very day at Masjid Wilayah by @atiq259 on instagram)

THE QUEST FOR LOVE

Relationships has never been something I’m brave enough to write about, especially in public. The love between a man and a woman to me is very personal. Add religion into the equation and it just becomes very sacred to me. I do not wish to write too long, since I have classes tomorrow at 9am and it’s exactly 4.30am right now. However, I just need to let a few things off my chest because it has been bothering me for quite a while now. Also, due to my hectic schedule, this is the only time I have to write- though I swear to god I’m super sleepy right now

Before we jump into the topic, yes I am single. Have I ever been in a relationship? The answer is also yes. I know how it feels like to love and be loved the same way I know how it feels to be completely shattered. You see, different people have different definitions of love. I strongly believe that the people we fall in love with can sometimes reflect the kind of person we are. For instance, I really value religion, knowledge and ambition. Thus, if i were to marry someone, I look for someone with these exact characteristics. I want someone who has the same goals that I have. Someone who will not only fight with me to succeed in this world, but also in the hereafter. I need someone who works just as hard as I do, not someone who is always tired and only cares about sleep. No more time should be wasted with whiny and lazy ambitionless boys. If you’re serious to pursue a relationship, look for a man.

If there’s one thing a relationship has taught me, it is the importance of maturity when it comes to love. NEVER indulge in a relationship just because it’s a ‘nice’ feeling. If you want to be with someone might as well be with a person who will help bring the best out of you, spiritually, mentally and also emotionally. If the relationship you are in is leading you towards the haraam, leave. No buts. It is just the end of a toxic relationship, not the end of the world. 

By the way people, it is perfectlyOKAY to be single. I have been single for over a year now, and wallahi I have never been this happy and I have been achieving so much. I always tell my friends that when you are single, you have 27 hours a day. What it essentially mean is that you’ll have more time for yourself. I know some people who can only seek comfort in the presence of their significant other. After one relationship ends they feel the need to jump into another. Chill people, chill. Take a breather. You don’t need another person to feel sufficient. Try to be comfortable and at peace with yourself with or without a relationship. You have the rest of your life to be spent with your significant other, so while you’re single, might as well really embrace/enjoy it.

Okay last point before I hit the sack, never settle. Ya Allah I can’t stress this enough. Being single is better than being with the wrong person. As they say, it’s better to wait long than marry wrong. If we dont know what we deserve, we will always settle for less. But to deserve more, we should first be more. Build your character before you choose to build a family. Study hard, learn new skills, take up a hobby, read more, travel. There’s so much that can be done when you’re single for your personal development. Take care of yourself. Your health, spirituality, intelligence, akhlak (good character) etc & inshaAllah you’ll get someone who’d do the same for you.

Jim Rohn once said, “The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me”.

I know this entry is all over the place, but I’m half awake so do forgive me. I hope you find this post helpful. As for me, call me philophobic but I am personally afraid to be in a relationship again. But when the time comes, I hope the guy I end up with will be proud with the lady I have become. If you happen to read this, whoever you may be, please know that not a day passes that I don’t make do’a for you, and for us. Wherever you are in this world, I hope you are also striving to be your best self. May Allah make it easy for us to find our way to each other. See you when I see you!

Ending this cringey post with one of my favorite quotes from Rumi,

‘Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.’

Lots of love,

Aisyah

THE QURAN TEACHES US TO BE OPTIMISTIC

I always find myself questioning the things I do, even if I was the one who opted to do it from the beginning. I frequently ask myself whether I’m doing the right thing. Whether there’s any good in the things I choose to put myself in. The school I go to, the activities I join, the events I attend, the friends I choose to keep. Are my decisions going to benefit my future or are they just a waste of time? I wonder if I’m really doing anything right these days. You see, I have always had this fear in me. This fear I can’t specifically explain. I often am afraid if I make the wrong choices, especially when I have to make big important life decisions. What if my plans don’t work out? Who will I be in 10 years? Will I ever really figure it out?

I hate self-doubt. You know when they say we are our own biggest critics, they’re hellaright.

Sometimes, the plans that I have for myself, are not exactly the plans that Allah has for me. I get myself in a relationship, and it ends tragically. I take up a course I thought I’m good at, and later fail miserably. I apply for a scholarship, but then find out I was rejected. I plan to graduate on time, but got sick and am told to defer my studies. All these circumstances, it all leads to self-doubt. Will I ever be good enough for anything?

A few days ago, I was reading Surah Al-Kahf and stumbled upon a verse that struck a chord with me. It was so beautiful I made it my phone’s wallpaper lol. The verse goes:

إِلَّا أَن يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاذْكُر رَّبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ وَقُلْ عَسَىٰ أَن يَهْدِيَنِ رَبِّي لِأَقْرَبَ مِنْ هَٰذَا رَشَدًا 

“Except “if Allah wills.” And remember your Lord when you forget & say “May my Lord guide me to what is right” (18:24)

Perfect timing. This verse isn’t only a do’a but also a statement of optimism. “Asa” according to the arabic language is a verb used to express hope. Subhanallah, Allah is teaching us that the most fundmental thing we need is His guidance. He is teaching us that in the end, He knows best what is good for us and all we have to do is give our best in the things we do. The rest is Allah’s job. I learnt that if we do what is good, our effort will never go to waste, even if things don’t turn out the way we want it. Our compensation is with Allah. 

The verse screams optimism. It says “when you forget” because whenever something bad/failure befalls us, we tend to lose hope. We are bound to feel lost & confused. Been there a lot of time. So this powerful verse is telling us ‘no, don’t give up, hang in there and ask Allah to guide you’. He created us, He created the stars and the universe, so He definitely knows what is best for us. Whatever happens yesterday, stays there. If we have failed in the past, that failure should not dictate our future. 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Saheeh Muslim #2999)

So I guess we will never really have all the answers, but it’s perfectly okay, What we do know is that we can always ask Allah to guide us to what’s the best for us.

As long has we put our trust in him, we are in good hands.

I wish to share something I discovered in 2016, which I find very profound and liberating; It is that God, unlike human beings, will never compare you to anyone else. He’ll only compare you to you. Who you were yesterday, who you are today, and who you will be tomorrow. Your only competition is, well, you.

Allah is not looking for perfection, but simply progress and realistic improvements within ourselves. With this in mind, you don’t have to worry about what people think, how great other people are and instead focus on your own personal (spiritual, physical etc) development, at your own pace. You will learn to accept that Allah has created everyone very differently, and that is okay. I used to have this self-limiting belief in what I can do, especially in UM law school where everyone is just freaking smarrrrt. So instead of ‘I’m gonna try my best’ I say 'there’s no use, there’s always going to be someone better’. I know, dumb and damaging indeed.

But Alhamdulillah towards the end of 2016, thanks to positive and supporting friends, I realized how important it is to have faith, both in God and myself & managed to incorporate a more positive psychological premise. Take it easy, but take charge. Work very hard. And by Allah’s grace and mercy, you will get what you want. He is just waiting to answer your prayers.

2016 was hands down the toughest yet most beautiful year in my life. I had my first ugliest heartbreak, got terribly sick & depressed, restricted to join so many activities & lost the people I love. But I also had my best semester in law school, performed well in class, had the best ramadan in my 22 years, found spectacular friends, bestowed with exciting opportunities and the list goes on. So no regrets. I’ve gotten over grieving on what is not meant to be mine, done crying buckets over things that are not in my control and now just looking forwards to be a better Muslim, and human being as a whole.

Thank you everyone for 2016, I am absolutely blessed beyond measure. Wishing all of you a kick-ass 2017.

With love & admiration,
Aisyah Shakirah Suhaidi

THE FINAL POST

I don’t remember a lot of ramadans, but in my 22 years of living, this past ramadan was probably the best. There was something extra special about it. Before ramadan I wrote down some goals that I wished to achieve throughout the month and the things I wanted to accomplish by the time ramadan is over. I didn’t want to be too ambitious setting unreasonable goals that I know I’m not going to keep up to. I also didn’t want to share them with you guys, not until ramadan is over. 

1. Blog daily for 30 days - This was probably the hardest & I really doubted myself in the beginning, but alhamdulillah I managed (alright to be fair i skipped 4/5 days due to travelling etc). Of course to share something, one must first be equipped with knowledge. So I tried to study the Quran and listen to islamic lectures for the whole month, and took notes while I was at it. When I was done, I would share them all here on my blog. Although ramadan is up, i’m just gonna leave all the posts here, hopefully it would continue to benefit us all
   
   
2. Remember a surah - I challenged myself to memorize at least one surah from the quran. After going through the quran, I picked Surah Al-Jumu’ah. Since it has been such a long time since I actually got myself to memorize a full surah, starting over was very tricky. But praise be to Allah, it got easier in time and by His mercy, i eventually managed to have the surah by heart
   
   
3. Give up music and movies - Ok this has nothing to do with some fatwas saying music is haraam or anything. Refraining from it was a personal choice. I gave myself an alternative though, say I really wanted to listen to music- they should remind me of Allah. It felt nice taking a break from my depressingly satisfying playlist for a while. I learnt a thing or two from this as well, inshaAllah will share them here soon.
   
   

These resolutions might seem small to some of you, I mean, bet you guys had bigger aims. However this helped me a lot to improve myself. I learnt so so much this ramadan i wish it never ended, at least not that quickly. Also, for those who has been supporting me from the start, thank you so much. I have been getting so much love in my Tumblr inbox, mashaAllah. Hope you guys had a wonderful ramadan. May Allah be pleased with our ibadahs inshaAllah.

Anywhooo, if it’s not too late. Happy Eid Mubarak