I’m getting an iron infusion tomorrow then again a week later. Hopefully that will help with my constant need to nap. But the pressure in my head is getting worse. I can’t get an MRI until this Corona shit calms down. In the meantime I’m fucking dying. I don’t know what to do. I need something to help with the pressure and pain. And I’m told to “hang in there”. Fuck you and fuck everyone for punishing me and trying to make me feel bad for attempting suicide.

07/07/2018

A year ago today I fainted. I fainted because I hadn’t been taking my iron the way I was supposed to. I hadn’t been taking my iron because no Dr. had ever explained anemia in a way that made it sound important or harmful. So I didn’t think iron was as necessary as it is. My boyfriend got to witness me collapsing onto hot pavement as he drove the car up that I had sent him to fetch so I could get out of the heat. Instead of walking to the car I was half dragged my strangers who thought I had heat stroke. I didn’t wake up until after I had been splashed with water and placed in the car with AC blasting on me. The longest it’s ever taken. If it wasn’t for these strangers I could have ended up in the hospital for severe burns/road rash. After seeking treatment I started researching Anemia on my own & I learned a lot I had never been told before, I scared myself with what I learned. Now a year later, for the first time since I was diagnosed at about 14 years old I can say I’ve taken my iron everyday for the last year. Sometimes we are responsible for finding our own reason for treatment & sticking to it.

Things I hate about being anemic:

• Feeling cold all the time
• So damn tired all the time
• I can’t just chug my 5 cups of hot tea like I want.
• More pills I have to try and swallow with my ridiculously bad gag reflex
• Adjusting my diet
• Nose bleeds. Lots of nose bleeds. Just wtf. They haven’t been this frequent since I was a kid!