#arcana incorrect
Julian [skidding into the shop and bursting through the door at 11:59 PM with a poorly-wrapped present under his arm]: hAPPY BIRTHDAY ASRA, GUESS WHAT I GOT YOU?
Asra: A decent’s night sleep?
Julian:
Asra: Returning the shop key you have that’s for emergencies only?
Julian:
Asra:
Julian: I’ll come back in the morning and watch you open it.
Asra: can’t wait, now get out and let me go back to sleep
Muriel: Julian, what’s a thot?
Julian: It means a very thoughtful person.
[later]
Muriel: Thanks, Asra. You’re a really nice thot.
Asra [with Julian wheezing in the background]: I’m a what now
Julian: How’s it going with the Countess? Have you told her that you have a crush on her?
Pasha: Well, she saw me tell my plants to “have fun babies!!” as I put them outside to get a little sun so that’s a bust.
——————-
Asra: Is something on your mind, Nadia?
Nadia: I watched Portia smile so happily at her plants and I have never been more jealous of a succulent in my entire life.
Valdemar: Doctor 0-6-9 has informed me that morale is low due to the whole ‘dissecting people alive’ bit of our jobs. So I have created a game to induce human bonding and…
Valdemar: *squints at writing on hand*…happiness.
Julian: You took my advice! Amazing, what are we doing?
Valdemar: I call it “The Cadaver Dash”
Julian: Oh no
Valdemar: I’ve hidden several dozen bodies around Vesuvia. The team that finds the most cadavers wins, AND they get to keep the bodies!
Asra: Ilya, you can’t convince me to do every lunatic idea by finishing the argument with “Trust me, I’m a doctor.”
Julian: I CAN AND I AM
MC [on the phone with Muriel]: Where are you, you were supposed to meet me an hour ago.
Muriel: I don’t know, I’m lost.
MC: Is there a landmark you see that you recognize?
Muriel: I see a cloud that looks like a chicken.
MC: ….can you be more specific?
Muriel: [squints really hard] It looks like Bawk-Bawk.
Valdemar: Do you plan on partaking of the human tradition that consists of lying to yourself in order to boost your self-confidence in an attempt to motivate yourself, and then in a month or so, generating an excuse to render your previous vow as null?
Julian:
Valdemar:
Julian: Are–are you talking about a New Year’s resolution?
Valdemar: Oh, so that’s what humans call it.
[alarm bells go off in the distance as Julian escapes the palace]
Muriel, who has done nothing wrong in his entire life: They found me.
