MC: You mean to tell me this all happened ‘cause you were messing with the shadow man?

Lucio: He was very charismatic!

Muriel: hummingbirds are just mortal bears

Lucio: that makes no sense but also the implication that bears aren’t mortal terrifies me

Julian: I talk to myself a lot but it’s okay because the voices talk back

Muriel to Lucio: As a person, you’re like a hotpocket that someone put in the microwave for seemingly long enough but you’re still cold on the inside

Asra: What does your sister look like? Is she chubby, or is she thin?

Julian: I don’t know

Slang 4/4

Lucio: That’s not very splark of you

Slang ¾

Julian: The last slang term is apps and zerts, which is slang for appetizers and desserts. For example, ‘Let’s go eat, I’m buying’ 'Can we get some apps and zerts?’

Slang 2/4

Julian: Geab is an acronym which means ‘gonna eat a baby.’ An example of this would be 'Ugh! My mom took my vape! I’m so geab right now!’

Slang Part ¼

Julian, doing a presentation: You never know when new slang will appear, so I’m going to make up some examples

Julian: the first one is Splark, and adjective which means really cool or awesome

Julian: An example of this would be

Julian: “I can’t wait to see the movie tomorrow! I heard it’s really Splark!”

Asra: How many third graders are you gonna make cry?

Julian: Four is our goal but if we can get more that’s a win

Asra: what if humans are hotpockets

Muriel: Children’s Mercy did not impress me with their food

Lucio: Im not a boomer, Nadia!

Nadia: You will be. Just you wait.

Portia: This is my wife Nadia, she is the most amazing person on the planet, I couldn’t ask for a better soulmate.

Asra: Julian may be a dork sometimes, and overly dramatic, but he’s my mess and I couldn’t imagine a day without him

MC: This is Lucio, I’m stuck with him. 2/10 would recommend.

Julian [skidding into the shop and bursting through the door at 11:59 PM with a poorly-wrapped present under his arm]: hAPPY BIRTHDAY ASRA, GUESS WHAT I GOT YOU?

Asra: A decent’s night sleep?

Julian:

Asra: Returning the shop key you have that’s for emergencies only?

Julian:

Asra:

Julian: I’ll come back in the morning and watch you open it.

Asra: can’t wait, now get out and let me go back to sleep

coffee-and-wolfsbane:

Muriel: Julian, what’s a thot?

Julian: It means a very thoughtful person.

[later]

Muriel: Thanks, Asra. You’re a really nice thot.

Asra [with Julian wheezing in the background]: I’m a what now

Muriel: I only take pictures of beautiful things.

Asra [looking at Muriel’s phone]: All you have on here are photos of Inanna, the chickens, and MC.

Muriel: Exactly.

Portia: Ilya, for the love of the Arcana, come home. You can’t spend every night in TheRowdy Raven.

Julian: Why not? Who are you, the Coping Mechanism police?

[alarm bells go off in the distance as Julian escapes the palace]

Muriel, who has done nothing wrong in his entire life: They found me.

Julian: So what are you? Are you a ghost?

Valdemar: First off, that’s a rude question. Also, I’m not a ghost, Doctor 0-6-9. Ghosts are losers that got murdered.

Ghost Lucio: hEY—

Valdemar:Iam a demon.