when you talk about queer love, remember the queer love that isn’t romantic.
queer love can be two best friends who support each other through their transitions and go to pride together each glowing with admiration for the other
queer love can be siblings confiding in each other about the difficulties of growing up queer in a small town and still texting each other every day when they finally move away from home
queer love can be queerplatonic partners caring deeply for each other and redefining what a relationship can be
queer love can be a group of friends who bond in middle school, realize years later they’re all gay, and laugh and smile when they reminisce together about how far they’ve come
queer love can be a community coming together to give food, shelter, and unconditional support to a teenager who’s been rejected by his family and has nowhere to go
queer love can be two mothers supporting their daughter as she changes her name and buys the clothes that truly express her gender for the first time
whatever form it takes, queer love is life-changing and revolutionary.
For my aros who seek relationships of any kind, this is some solid advice.
[transcript:
HONEST DATING ADVICE
by We’re Not Really Strangers
Honest Dating Advice
1. Worry less about if they like you, and more about if you even like them.
2. Rejection is not as personal as it feels. Liking someone or being liked is more about compatibility than inherent worth.
3. Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you. If it’s not mutual, why pursue it?
4. Ask yourself: Would you be friends with this person if you weren’t physically attracted to them? Be honest.
5. Get clear on what you want to give in a relationship, not just what you want to receive. What unique value do you bring to a partnership?
6. Know what you want from a potential partner. What are your non-negotiables? What are you flexible on? Then communicate your needs, don’t just think them.
7. Stop being shocked by repeated behavior. For example, if someone has continuously shown you they aren’t a good texter, stop expecting them to be. Notice patterns and believe them.
8. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved. “Perfection” isn’t relatable. You can’t connect to it. We all have flaws and vulnerabilities, and being able to own them is one of the most attractive things we can do. The right person will embrace the things you once felt you had to hide.
9. Your love life is one area of your life. Don’t forget to nurture the rest. Significant other aside, when you visualize coming home to a life you love, what does that look like? Get specific.
(For more on honest dating, please refer to the Honest Dating Expansion Pack, available at www.werenotreallystrangers.com)
End transcript]
This is all really solid advice for you dating/partnering aros, and also applicable for friendships.
