asexual and aromantic people deserve to be treated kindly and with respect and dignity! regardless of what you think of their inclusion in the LGBTQ community, they deserve to be comfortable with their sexuality and they deserve to not be made feel that they are “cringey” or “invalid.” they deserve not to be harassed, they deserve understanding, respect and support on all sides!
Hm. Maybe every time I’ve felt attracted to a person it was actually sexual attraction and my bpd causing an obsession with them. Rather than. Yknow. A crush. Maybe. Hm.
All photos are my own, please credit if you re-use!
[Image description: a 3 by 3 moodboard. The top row has from left to right a photo of green and red leaves with dappled sunlight, a shady tree with dark green leaves, and finally a close up on a light green leaf. The middle row has a photo of a pink rose bulb behind dark green leaves on the left and a photo of sunlight above a blanket of white clouds on the right. The middle has the romance repulsed aro flag, which is the aro flag (dark green, light green, white, grey, black from top to bottom) with a round pink circle with a minus sign in it over dark grey on the left. The bottom row from left to right is a photo of white shells in a dark space, a close up on a black cat’s nose, and finally trees in front of a light grey cloudy sky. End description.]
Alloaro people of color deserve much love & respect ❤️ you are not less worthy of existing than anyone else ❤️ you are a good part of this world ❤️ you are not “bad representation,” you are a person, I am glad you are learning more about yourself. You are worthy of care & support ❤️
Lovelies, if you are able, then show your pride! You deserve to participate(if you choose to do so) just as much as any other LGBT+ orientation and identity! Let’s also show some pride and support for those of us who would like to participate, but are unable to do so for any reason, and let them know that they will not go unrecognized.
I feel like most of the aro posts on my blog are about how being aro doesn’t inherently exclude you from the possibility of finding a partner— because I’m an aro who would quite like a partner someday— but I really want to emphasise that:
It is okay if you personally don’t want a partner.
And this still applies if you’re allosexual.
Some of the worst arophobia I have seen on this site has been from people who seem to think that it suddenly becomes okay and acceptable to slut-shame people so long as they’re aromantic.
“Aromantic people are just straight men who want to have sex with women and then dump them!”
“If the ‘a’ includes aromantics then frat boys are lgbt!”
“Aromantic? Don’t you mean sociopath?” (This is also, obviously, ableist, btw. Having a mental disorder doesn’t preclude you from being a good person if you want to be.)
Look, it’s not 1856. You shouldn’t have to declare your undying love for somebody and get permission from a vicar before you’re allowed to sleep with them. While sex can be a way for people to become closer as a couple or show their love for their partner, it can also just be like a fun activity that you do because you’re horny. And while I feel like a lot of people on this site claim to agree with that statement, some of them really seem to have trouble understanding that it doesn’t magically stop being true because you’re aro.
Aros can have multiple partners.
Aros can have casual friends with benefits situations that aren’t anywhere near as intense/committed as qprs.
Aros can have random hookups.
Whatever you do in bed, it is literally nobody’s business except you and any people you currently happen to be in bed with. So long as everybody involved is consenting, being safe and having a good time, you’re not doing anything wrong.
And this still applies if you are a heterosexual, cisgender man.
Your attraction is not inherently predatory, misogynistic or objectifying just because it isn’t accompanied by romantic feelings. You don’t owe people mushy feelings and a relationship just because you had sex with them. If you go into a sexual encounter with someone making it clear that it’s just going to be about sex, and then they start getting upset with you for not providing more, then that’s not your fault.
Don’t feel obliged to do things that aren’t natural to you just because alloros try and guilt you into it.
And for everyone else:
If your sex positivity doesn’t include aromantics, then it’s not true sex positivity.
you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone in order for your choices to be valid. as long as you understand what you’re about, and you’re happy with it.
for all of my aro sapphics who feel like they are perpetuating harmful sapphic stereotypes: you aren’t and you are wonderful! there is nothing wrong with not experiencing romantic attraction! you are not sexualizing women by just being who you are! you don’t hurt the sapphic community! you deserve to feel pride in who you are and not feel bad for being aromantic in sapphic circles!
good morning to aromantic people who have too many succulents, aro people who would buy a shirt because it was green, aro people in relationships, aro people who don’t have enough time to create the art they want to create, aro people who live with their parents, aro people who don’t have a tiktok, aro trans people, aro people who put stickers on their laptop and water bottle, aro people who are vegetarian, aro people who adore seasonal starbucks drinks, and aro people who only wear black
who do not feel romantic attraction, but do feel sexual attraction, or any other type of attraction;
who do not identify with the word “love” in any context, whether it’s platonic, romantic, familial;
you are human. you are valid. just the way you are, and there’s nothing you need to do to prove it. you deserve to be heard and seen. and I’m sorry if you ever feel, have felt, or will feel, that you are excluded from the aspec community. because you belong here. and nothing can take that away. not the way you feel or don’t feel attraction or “love”. you are beautiful, and your voice and your story matters. speak up, because I’m listening. I want to hear you.
Shout-out to Minus18 for adding the aro flag for this year’s IDAHOBIT
ALTALT
(and also for describing IDAHOBIT more inclusively as the “day against lgbtqia+ discrimination”)
[ Image Description: A screenshot from Minus18youth’s social media with the text: AND - we’re incredibly excited to have added the Aromantic flag!
Below is a photo of many smiling people holding many small pride flags: pan, bi, aro, non-binary, progress, trans, ace, more pride more colors, sunset lesbian, intersex. End Image Description ]
i’m just over here like love isn’t a pyramid where romance is at the top and friendship is at the bottom…. it’s a soup…. different ingredients but all delicious and necessary for a truly fulfilling meal…
What I like about the soup metaphor is that not every ingredient goes in every kind of soup.
My soup wouldn’t include any romance. Other people might have a soup without family, because theirs were toxic, and they replaced that ingredient with extra friendship. Not everyone will include pets in their soup. Some people choose to add children, while others remain child-free. (I’m aware this sounds bad if you forget it’s a metaphor, shh) But they’re all soup. Delicious soup.
And then some people just don’t eat soup - they might use some of the same ingredients, but they cook a different meal. And that’s still nutritious! You don’t have to call it soup if you don’t want to. It doesn’t even have to look like soup. As long as it nourishes you.
ALT
ALT
