#avengers game

AIM Agent: *holds up a picture of Tony* Have you seen this man? Anthony Stark?

Bruce: No. Never seen that dick

AIM Agent: How do you know he’s a dick?

Bruce: *shrugs* Lucky guess

Tony: Swear words are illegal now as per Cap. If you say one you’ll be fined

Kamala:Heck

Tony: You’re on thin fucking ice kid

Tony: Oh no

Tony, at the store: Excuse me? I lost this child I was responsible for, Kamala. Is it okay if I make an announcement?

Clerk: Of course!

Tony: *Leans into mic*

Tony: Goodbye you little shit

Kamala: Since you didn’t wanna do any interviews, every time someone calls for one I always schedule it for March 31st

Bruce: Uh, why?

Kamala: Because I didn’t wanna be rude… and I didn’t think March 31st exsisted

Bruce: Today is March 31st. How many interviews do I have?

Kamala:116

Natasha: Okay, listen up you little shits

Natasha: Not you Kamala. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled to have you here

Kamala: Hey I have kind of a crazy idea

Bruce: Those are never comforting words coming from your mouth

Kamala: *hits her hand on a table*

Kamala: OW MY ARMKLE

Steve: I’m sorry - your WHAT?

Bruce:*sighs*

Bruce: Her wrist

Kamala: Can I ask a dumb question?

Tony: Better than anyone I know

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26622340/chapters/68450351

Exactly What I Needed - Chapter 10 - curlsandblueyes - Marvel [Archive of Our Own]

Been a while since I posted a one shot, but this story helped me get through the worst of my studying. It takes place a little after the events of Home, A Place Where I Belong, but there are NO SPOILERS for that fic (as long as you read the first chapter). I had a request for a Bruce and Kamala Sick!Fic and this will go hand and hand with that story (after finals are done ) Hope you guys like it!

Bruce: I have a feeling you’re lying

Kamala: Bruce, be positive

Bruce: Okay. I’m positive you’re lying