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Is there anything more iconic in Good Omens than David Tennant driving a flaming Bentley down an English road while Bohemian Rhapsody plays?

Possibly, but it’s still an awesome moment.

Especially when our lanky demon steps out, swaggering like an action movie star here to save the day, giving the one-liner he clearly spent half the journey thinking up: “You wouldn’t get that sort of performance from a modern vehicle.”

I wrote “In Love with My Car” because Crowley loves his car, period. It’s his home, in a way his flat never really is. When filming it’s final destruction, David Tennant’s only acting direction was: you are the Doctor and you just saw the Tardis destroyed. (Side note: that is the perfect kind of direction to give DT, not because he used to be the Doctor, but because he’s a huuuuuge Doctor Who fanboy and has probably written that fanfiction.)

Now, I learned more than I really ever thought I’d need to know about vintage cars while researching this story, but for those who have not, in the book Crowley has a 1928 Bentley, and on the show a 1933. This is rather a big difference.

I mean the ‘28 is cute and all. It’s like an old timey cartoon of a car. If I saw one of these on fire driving down the road, I’d be like “no, that’s fair, I expected that.”

The ‘33 is, if nothing else, much more in line with modern ideas of what a cool car should look like. Graceful, curving, solid. This was a car that was made to have good performance - above average, but you know, not German automobile levels - but also made to make you look rich and awesome in a decade where most people were not.

But book or TV show, it does NOT change the fact that Crowley loves the Bentley. Perhaps even more so in the book - like scroll back up and look at that thing. It’s like a sports-tractor. Book Crowley is very concerned with always having the latest, coolest flashiest things, yet he has a car that looks like it frequently gets outpaced by snails. Even TV Crowley, with his fondness for mementos and antiques, is constantly changing and updating his look to match the height of cool in every era, and the vintage Bentley look probably peaked in like the 1960s in the James Bond era.

What I’m saying is, if the point was to just look cool, both Crowleys would probably be driving some model of Jaguar at the very least.

But also in both - though you can obviously see it better on the show - the Bentley performs like a modern Jaguar (or, whatever). Like, Crowley shouldn’t be able to do 90 in Central London for the simple fact that a vintage Bentley can’t reach those speeds. The ‘33 could, as its max speed, under ideal circumstances which included “going downhill” and “perfectly smooth and straight road.” But Crowley drives it, screeching up the road, handling corners perfectly, at speeds that would make any driving instructor pass out.

But the Bentley is the Best Car. Crowley knows this, believes it, feels it in his soul. So when other cars start getting better, the Bentley does too, to match them. No fancy foreign Ferrari is going to outperform his awesome Bentley!

There’s been a lot written about how Crowley interacts with the spaces in his apartment. He keeps everything clean and open and minimalist, because space is such a luxury in Hell. He shouts at his plants because he’s reliving the abuse he suffers in Hell, and the rejection he received from Heaven.

The Bentley, though, represents the face he shows the world. Dark and powerful and cool and a little out of place but full of so much unmistakable style that really you have to question what every other car is doing wrong by not being a Bentley. This is exactly the kind of being Crowley wishes to be. The kind that turns every head when he comes in a room, the kind that always handles everything with effortless grace and style, the kind that everyone makes space for and just watches pass in utter awe.

Even when he talks to the car, primarily during the bits where it’s on fire, he’s encouraging it, telling it how good of a car it is, how it can do this utterly insane thing that it really, really can’t. It’s the complete opposite of how he treats his plants (degrading and berating them when for every tiny failure), because while the plants represent a part of himself he’s trying to distance himself from, the Bentley allows him to be who he wants to be.

And that is something that he would never, ever exchange for any other vehicle.

Anyway, you can read more about my thoughts on Crowley’s thoughts on his car in my fanfiction, “In Love with My Car” over on AO3!

(Note to readers: looking like a very good chance of no update this week. I will post this evening with current progress on my upcoming stories.)

Jin Guangyao: I’m a terrible person.

Jiang Cheng:Yeah.

Jiang Cheng: honestly I think that’s why we get along so well.

Jin Guangyao: I’m not a good person.

Jiang Cheng: me neither.

Jiang Cheng: I mean I’m not going to punch people on the face without a reason

Jiang Cheng: but I won’t go out of my way to make them feel good either.

Jin Guangyao: I get that.

Jiang Cheng: You have a visit.

Jin Guangyao: who is it?

Jiang Cheng: Your husband.

Jin Guangyao: I don’t have a husband, call the police.

Xue Yang: Your future husband~

Jin Guangyao: I’ll call the police.

Jin Guangyao: *making a crossword* Two words for disappointment.

Jiang Cheng: Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian:Hey!

Jin Guangyao: It fits…

Jin Guangyao: Fitness tip, never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours sleep is enough, why not 9? Why not 12? Strive for greatness.

Jiang Cheng: next time you are working out, do 15 push up instead of 10. Run ten miles instead of five, eat a whole cake instead of just a slice, burn your ex house down. You can do it, I believe in you.

Lan Xichen: there were so many mixed messages there, that I can't—

Wei Wuxian: My head hurts.

Jiang Cheng: that’s your brain trying to comprehend it’s own stupidity.

Wei Wuxian: why do you always have to attack me with words?!

Jiang Cheng: would you rather that I used rocks instead?

Jin Guangyao: Sect leader Jiang No—

Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng! Jin Ling is missing!

Jiang Cheng: what am I supposed to do about it? Do you think that me and Sect leader Jin arranged to microchip him in case he got lost or something?

Wei Wuxian: well, did you?

Jiang Cheng:

Jiang Cheng: of course I did.

Jiang Cheng: here wait a second, Jin Guangyao has the tracking thing.

Jin Guangyao: *after sleeping with Wen Ruohan to gain his trust* and remember if you sleep with an older man.

Wei Wuxian: *on Mo Xuanyu body* it’s not called having daddy issues.

Jin Guangyao: it’s called caring for the elder.

Lan Xichen: A-Yao wait! This isn’t you! You have gone mad with power!

Jin Guangyao: well of course.

Jin Guangyao: have you ever tried going mad without power?

Jin Guangyao: it’s boring.

Jin Guangyao: violence it’s never the answer.

Jiang Cheng: you are right.

Jiang Cheng: it’s a question.

Jiang Cheng: and the answer is yes.

*Playing house with Jin Ling*

Jin Guangyao: *holding a doll* I was thinking about going back to school and start a career!

Jiang Cheng: *holding a teddy bear* nonsense, you are staying at home and having my kids.

Nie Mingjue: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Jiang Cheng: playing systematic oppression.

Jin Guangyao: in your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Jiang Cheng: *turning to Wei Wuxian* how tall are you?

Wei Wuxian: I wasn’t so drunk last night!

Jiang Cheng: You tried to flirt with Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian: What about it? He is my husband!

Jin Guangyao: you asked him if he was single

Nie Huisang: and you cried when he told you he wasn’t.

Ling Wen: *showing the capital to a new God* and now I’ll show you what type of people work here.

Ling Wen: the floor is lava!

Mu Qing: *shoves Feng Xin off a table*

Xie Lian: *helps Pei Ming get on top of a table*

Ling Wen: as you can see there are two type of people

Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng isn’t answering his phone.

Jin Guangyao: I’ll call him.

Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan and I have both tried to call him for an hour, what makes you think tha—

Jiang Cheng: *through the phone* Hello?

Jin Guangyao: you need a hobby.

Lan Zhan: I have one.

Jin Guangyao: Stalking Wei Wuxian it’s not a hobby.

Lan Zhan:En.

Lan Zhan: It’s a profession and I’m excellent at it.

Nie Huisang: I never know what to say in funerals.

Meng Yao: Just say “sorry for your loss” and move on.

Nie Huisang: *to the widow* I’m sorry for your loss. move on.

Jin Ling: Don’t kill me I have uncle’s.

Murder: do you really think that would stop me from killing you?

Jin Ling: That wasn’t a plea for mercy, it was a warning.

Murder: Wait what—

Jiang Cheng: *breaking the door with a kick*

Jin Guangyao: are you ready to die?

Nie Mingjue: Are you mad at me?

Meng Yao: of course not.

Nie Mingjue: then sharpening your knives at three A.M it’s just a hobby?

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