Did you know?“Ahigher percentageofbisexual students reported running away from home one or more timescompared totheirgay and straight peers. In addition, more bisexual youth stated they werehomeless because of physical abuse by parents than their straight and gay peers. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual homeless youth also have greaterHIV risks and these risks are greateramongbisexual female youth. Therefore, stronger policies are needed to provide bisexual+ youth with safe environments to live that are off the streets.“ ~excerpt from“Caring for Bisexual+ Homeless Youth” by BRC (24 March 2016)
Did you know?Transgender people and people of colorcompriselarge portions of the bisexual community –– with more than 40 percent of LGBT people of color identifying as bisexual, and about halfoftransgender people describing their sexual orientationasbisexual or queer (according to various other research studiesBisexual is the largest self-identityforTrans people. Followed by percentages: Queer, Heterosexual/Homosexual, Other, and Asexual) –– making these groups vulnerable to further disparities that occur at the intersections of biphobia, racismandtransphobia.~from“Health Disparities Among Bisexual People” by HRC (September 2015)
When I was sixteen I had a crush on my best friend. I didn’t realise it was a crush for years because we’re both girls.
We shared a bed when we had sleepovers and we cuddled when we went to sleep. We snuggled on the couch when we watched movies. We kissed each other on the cheek goodbye. We hugged the moment we saw each other. I always told her she was cute. She was the first person to notice when I changed something about my appearance. Normal best friend stuff, right? Doesn’t everyone think their best friend is the best person in the world? Don’t all girls want to cuddle with their best friends? Don’t all girls get lost scrolling through their friends Facebook pages because they’re just so damn cute? No?
Our parents were so happy we had each other as friends because we were both going through some unrelated shit. None of them ever thought that we were something more. We never had the same rules with each other as we did when we had boys over.
When she got a boyfriend I was insanely jealous. It wasn’t because she didn’t spend time with me anymore, because she would always cancel on him to hang out with me. So I couldn’t place why I was so jealous. So I just ignored it.
Fast forward a few months to them breaking up and her coming out as a lesbian to me. I was happy for her. I was supportive. I was so proud of her for being so brave. I stood up for her when people were arseholes about it.
Fast forward another few months to one of our mutual friends realising she had a crush on me and telling me. I was flattered and it got me thinking. Did I have a crush on her too? It seemed like it, but I knew I liked boys too. I’d had a boyfriend who’d broken my heart. I’d had crushes on boys. I knew that for certain. So why was I thinking this way about my best friend? Could I be bi? No. I’d heard of bisexuality but never anything positive. Bi girls were girls who weren’t brave enough to come out. Bi girls were bi because they wanted to make their boyfriends happy. Bi girls were bi because boys think it’s hot. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t something I was comfortable with. So I must be straight.
My relationship with my best friend stayed the same. We cuddled and hung out and held hands and I felt guilty about it. Especially when rumours about us started spreading. People were saying I was a lesbian too. So we stopped acting that way at school. I wasn’t ashamed, but it wasn’t me. I knew I wasn’t a lesbian.
Eventually I got a boyfriend and she got a girlfriend and we graduated high school and drifted apart.
It wasn’t until years later that I came across the term bisexuality again. In an article I found on tumblr no less. And I read it, a story so similar to mine, about a girl not realising her sexuality for years because there was no bi representation. She didn’t know who she was, except that she liked boys so she must be straight. I thought back to my best friend, realising how much I loved her and that we weren’t just friends. If I was behaving that way with a boy, we would have been in a relationship. I did some research. I practiced saying ‘I’m bi.’ And I finally came to realise that I am. I was 21 when I made the connection of something that I should have when I was in high school.
It all suddenly made sense. Not only my crush on my best friend, but my interest in pretty girls. That when we talked about celebrity ‘hall passes,’ the first ones that came to mind were always girls. It just makes sense.
My point is, this is why we need bi representation in popular culture. This is why characters like Rosa Diaz and Clarke Griffin and Angela Montenegro and Jack Harkness and multiple others are so important. Seeing these characters, this representation, helps people realise that there are other options that aren’t just gay and straight (not that there is anything wrong with either of those). I wish I had seen a character like these when I was a young teenager. I wish I had known being bi was an option and not a negative one. I wish I had seen literally anything positive about being bisexual. I’m not saying my best friend and I would have ended up together, but maybe we could have had something more.
I love plenty of people, including myself, whom are somewhere along the trans* spectrum.
Happy Valentines day everyone. Even if you don’t have a significant other to share this holiday with, surround yourself with those whom love you. Whether it be friends, family, chosen families, etc. Everyone deserves to feel loved. And I love you all. Each and every single one of you.
A little sketch comic about how bisexuality is totally cool and good and not bad.
The format is cliché! I know. But it makes it easy to talk about things I want to talk about. Thanks for reading!
(I shouldn’t have to say this, but since a lot of people wanted to educate me on twitter: The words listed in panel seven [yes even in the parentheticals!] are just examples of how often acceptable language around gender and sexuality changes. They are not lists of synonymous words, and many of them are now considered unacceptable. That’s why they’re on the list. That’s what the list IS. I know.)
Did you know?“Ahigher percentageofbisexual students reported running away from home one or more timescompared totheirgay and straight peers. In addition, more bisexual youth stated they werehomeless because of physical abuse by parents than their straight and gay peers. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual homeless youth also have greaterHIV risks and these risks are greateramongbisexual female youth. Therefore, stronger policies are needed to provide bisexual+ youth with safe environments to live that are off the streets.“ ~excerpt from“Caring for Bisexual+ Homeless Youth” by BRC (24 March 2016)
Did you know?Transgender people and people of colorcompriselarge portions of the bisexual community –– with more than 40 percent of LGBT people of color identifying as bisexual, and about halfoftransgender people describing their sexual orientationasbisexual or queer (according to various other research studiesBisexual is the largest self-identityforTrans people. Followed by percentages: Queer, Heterosexual/Homosexual, Other, and Asexual) –– making these groups vulnerable to further disparities that occur at the intersections of biphobia, racismandtransphobia.~from“Health Disparities Among Bisexual People” by HRC (September 2015)
