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The Wrath of Urkel

In the couple of days since the release of Childish Gambino’s widely acclaimed This is America video, it’s seemed that the question of his longtime interracial relationship with a white woman and whether or not it takes away from the sincerity of his politically charged, “unapologetically pro-black” video has been the subject of more think-pieces, debates and comment section tussles than the video itself. In one corner, he’s been dismissed as a coon/ sellout and has had the entire agenda of his music video brought under suspicion via the “you can’t talk black and sleep white” argument.

In another, more empathetic, corner, Childish Gambino’s interracial relationship has been defended and described as the typical route taken by black nerds after being rejected by black women whom they claim have never been interested in them or their Naruto comics. Black women, in response, have vehemently denied a wholesale rejection of black nerds with the argument that black male nerds simply want white women and have fabricated a black women’s vendetta against them in an attempt to justify their pursuit of white women. Black women have also highlighted the plight of the black female nerd and claim that their experience has been left out of the conversation entirely.

Now what I’ve seen, in the end, is a denial of the validity of the black male nerd’s claims of rejection by the black woman as well as a minimization of the black female nerd and her position within black nerd culture. Both conclusions are inaccurate.

In actuality, the nerdy black guy and the nerdy black girl are very much interconnected and have similar experiences when looking for love within the black community. Black nerd guys feel scorned by the “traditionally” (by colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) attractive black woman that every black man is told to want. The black nerd likes a big butt n a smile like everyone else. The problem is the big butt n a smile is absolutely not checking for Urkel because she is seeking out the black man deemed traditionally attractive (by the same colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) and is often overlooking any man that doesn’t fit into that mold, aka the black nerd guy. As far as the black nerd girl goes, she too is chasing the colonially defined attractive black man and is also not checking for the awkward, dorky, traditionally unattractive black nerd guy- let’s not pretend that she is. Since the black nerd girl’s interest in men is also governed by colonial beauty standards, she is certainly not checking for Urkel. She wants a fine ass nikka too. However, she’s awkward, dorky and traditionally unattractive so neither the fine ass nikkas, nor the black nerd guy, want her. Both the male and female black nerd end up chasing waterfalls- the traditionally attractive black man/woman whom they are generally denied due to their own traditional unattractiveness- and overlooking each other entirely.

What Urkel means when he says “black women don’t like me” is “Laura Winslow wasn’t tryna gimme no play so I’m throwing all black women away”. It’s a claim based solely off of their history of lofty romantic ambitions, rejected advances and hurt feelings.

With love, and a Dragon Ball Z tattoo,

a former black nerd

Instagram.com/themightydexter

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@themightydexter

Wed, 23 May 2018 19:59:28

Horrified at the sight of everything he had come to love burned to ash. In the distance a figure in red glides amongst the bodies as if it’s reaping souls like grains. He did this… I’ll kill him… I’LL KILL HIM.
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