#bleach funny

Yoruichi: Must be hard not being able to laugh.

Byakuya: I do have a sense of humour, you know.

Yoruichi: I’ve never heard you laugh before.

Byakuya: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

Kensei: How are you sleeping?

Hisagi: Like a baby.

Hisagi: Every two hours, I wake up screaming.

Kensei: How is it that every time I show up, you idiots are in a worse situation?

Mashiro: To be fair, you DID leave us.

Renji: Y'all pray for Ichika. Nothing’s wrong with her but I ate her donut an hour ago and she said she’s never smiling again.

Yoruichi: I know you and Soi Fon have this unspoken rivalry.

Kisuke: It’s not rivalry, she’s always just mean to me. And it’s not unspoken, she talks about it all the time.

Keigo: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my my skull lik a windows screen saver.

Keigo: When it hits a corner, I am allowed one good idea.

Hisagi: Your future self is hating the decisions you’re making right now.

Kira: Bold of you to assume my current self isn’t also hating the decisions I’m making right now.

Riruka: I was crying for three hours! And neither one of you offered me a hug!

Jackie: Alright, bring it in.

Riruka: DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.

Yukio, under his breath: This is why nobody hugs you…

Szayel Aporro: What are everyone’s kinks?

Tousen: I do not think this is an appropriate topic.

Starrk: Love and affection, hehe.

Harribel: Hair-pulling and mirrors.

Grimmjow: Whips, chains, kitty lingerie, being called dadd-

Tousen: MY KINK IS PRAYING EVERY NIGHT AND WISHING I WASN’T A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION!

Soi Fon: Met a dumbass today, it was awful.

Kisuke: You looked in a mirror?

Soi Fon: Someday you will have to pay for your actions and God may not be so merciful.

Rangiku, nervously:Hitsugaya?

Toshiro: Just out of the shower. Down in a few.

Rangiku: You take your time, you brilliant Shinigami. You hero and role model.

Toshiro: Whatever you broke, fix it or bury it in the yard.