#boys are babies

Sweetie, why is your little soldier standing to attention? This is a medical examination. There’s no reason for you to be getting a silly little stiffie right now. If you can’t keep that naughty boner under control, I’m going to have to diagnose you with toxic masculinity and recommend you be kept in diapers and chastity from now on. Is that clear?

Yes, you heard me. Diapers. Little boys who can’t control themselves need Pampers. Why should you be any different? If you can’t even stop your little tinkle from getting hard then there’s no reason you should be trusted with something as complicated as going to the toilet. So what’s it going to be? Are you going to go soft and let me carry on with the examination? Or am I going to have to lock you up in plastic?

Alright, that’s it. You’ve had enough time. No more toilets for you, mister! You’ll be going potty in your pants from now on! And you can say bye-bye to boners too. Your naughty pee-pee is going right into a chastity cage where it belongs. Maybe this will teach you not to get erections in front of your nurses!

Hi cutie. Mommy sees you staring. You want to see them, don’t you? You want me to tug down my leotard and let my breasts spill out. You want me to shake them and bounce them and put on a show for you. Well if that’s what you want, then okay. But Mommy’s got a little task for you first.

Are you ready? Ready for Mommy to tell you what your little task is? You just have to wet yourself. That’s all. You just have to pee your pants. I don’t care where you are or who’s around. I don’t care if you’re not wearing a diaper. Maybe you’ll end up standing in a puddle. Maybe you’ll end up with wet bedsheets. Maybe you’ll embarrass yourself in front of that girl you like. It doesn’t matter. When Mommy says it’s time to go potty, it’s time to go potty.

So be a good boy and do a tinkle, baby. Right in your pants. Do that for Mommy, and you’ll get to see a very special show. You’ll get to see Mommy tug down her leotard and show off her pretty boobies. And if you’re a very good boy, I might even let you touch them.

Hi sweetie! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You look adorable with a full diaper sagging between your legs! I just thought I’d come down to the company daycare to visit you. It seems as though we’ve had a little switchie, haven’t we?

Well, I guess it’s not really a switch. After all, I went from secretary to boss, but you didn’t go from boss to secretary, did you? No. You went from big boss to big baby. All thanks to the matriarchy and the new laws about a man’s rightful place! It’s about time someone took all male rights away and demoted the lot of you to the status of toddlers. I’ve been saying it for years.

Awww, don’t cry honey! I’m sure it’s upsetting. You used to be such a high-status man and now you’re not even allowed to wipe your own bottom! But if I’m honest, I think stinky diapers suit you much better than business suits. Plus it’s just so funny to see the man who thought he was such a tough guy toddle around with a load in his britches! Hahaha!

Stop fussing, baby. You’re soaked! It doesn’t matter that we’re at a garden party. You need a diaper change right this instant or you’re going to leak.

Yes, I know people can see. So what? All my friends already know how I put you back in diapers for being such a loser in bed. And I don’t see why we should hide that from anybody else either. I want everyone to know that I wear the pants in this relationship, and you wear the yucky, pissy diapers. Oh wow, that guy is hot.

Oh don’t whine, darling. You know you’ve never been enough to satisfy me sexually, and that was even before I turned you into a diaper-wetting wimp. Do you seriously expect me to think of you as a real man now that you’re not even fucking potty trained? No. I’ll finish changing you, then I’m gonna go and ask for his number. Now lift your bottom up! Time for a nice, clean diaper for you to piss in!

What’s the matter, baby? Do you need Mommy to feed you?

No? Then be a good boy and eat your din-dins. I know you’re upset about having to wear your bib in public, but Mommy doesn’t want you getting food all down your front. I know what a messy little boy you can be.

That’s better. No more fussing, okay? You need to get used to being treated like a baby in public. Wearing silly little baby bibs at restaurants is just the start. For dessert, Mommy’s going to lift up her top and give you a breastfeed here in the booth! Nothing to be shy about. Just a big baby getting his milkies. And after that, I’m going to take you into the ladies’ room and change that soggy diaper on the floor for all the women to see!

I love her expression. She knows that boy is hers. There’s no chance he’ll be running off with another woman, not now she’s reduced him to a diaper-wearing loser. It doesn’t matter how handsome he is, or how much weight he can lift at the gym. He goes wee-wee and whoopsie-daisy in his pants. He needs his Mommy now, and she’ll always be there to keep him in his place.

Hold still, baby. Let Mommy get a look at you. Hmmm. Let me just adjust your plastic pants a little. We don’t want any leaks, do we? Nu-uh. No we don’t. We want all your tinkles and poo-poos to stay in your diapers while we’re out today!

Awww, someone’s a blushy baby! I know it’s embarrassing, honey, but Mommy’s very proud of what a big baby you’ve become. Just think, it wasn’t that long ago that you were striding about in your grown-up clothes, thinking you were such a big man. But that was before the matriarchy took over and took away all of those silly “men’s rights”, of course. Now you’re just an overgrown Mama’s boy who stomps around in his diapers and can’t go ten minutes without wetting himself! It’s so cute!

Oh poor baby, don’t look so sad! I know you’re upset that Mommy took away all your adult privileges, but I think spending the rest of your life as my helpless toddler is exactly what you need. Sure, you won’t get to use the toilet, or have sex, or be respected ever again, but you will get lots of attention from all the pretty ladies who want to bottle-feed you and cuddle you and change your diapers! You know how popular you are with women whenever I take you out in public. Now come along, baby boy. Let’s get going!

What are you doing over here, little guy? Because it looks to me like a certain naughty boy was trying to slip away from the party to poop his diaper in private. You know that’s a big no-no, baby. Do we need to put you through a little more ‘public pooping’ practice? I think we do.

Shake your head all you want, baby. You need to learn that boys don’t deserve privacy or dignity or anything like that. Those are only for women. When you need to make a stinky, you do it right in your pants, no matter where you are or who’s watching. And you announce it too. You say “Me go boom-boom!” so that everyone has the opportunity to point and laugh at you. Is that clear?

Oh dear, someone’s being a very fussy little boy, isn’t he? I think Mommy’s going to have to start making you dirty your diapers in front of the pretty girls at the checkout counter again. That was always a good way of breaking down your silly little ego. But we can start with my friends back at the party. They’re experts at teasing diapers boys!

No, no, little boy. Try that again. Your crying needs to sound a lot more realistic than that. Do you need me to give you another spanking to help get the tears flowing?

No? Then you need to be trying a little harder for your dance instructor. This is an important part of your re-education. Women may often ask you to put on little performances for them, like doing adorable dance routines or clumsy gymnastics. Looking cute and silly is an essential part of being a male. Now try again, and this time when you twirl around and fall over onto your soggy little diapered butt, make sure I hear a proper babyish ‘waah-waah’ afterwards, okay?

There we go! That’s much better! Ahh, the sound of a grown man bawling his eyes out like an infant is music to my ears…

Hi, sweetie. Well, you’re certainly tall enough, but I think this ride might be a little too grown-up for you.

What am I talking about? Well I’m not sure how to break this to you, but I can totally see the waistband of your diaper sticking out of your pants. You must be one of those misbehaving males who got sent to a regression center, huh? I hear they use all kinds of hypnotic conditioning so you can’t even control when you go to the bathroom anymore. Kind of a fitting punishment, right? Act immature, spend the rest of your life in icky diapers. It’s so funny!

Now I’m guessing you gave your Mommy the slip so you could go on one of the big boy rides, am I right? So how about I get my colleague to take over here, and I’ll take you into the back, pull down your diaper, and spank your naughty bottom until you cry. Then we can go look for your Mommy together. Okay, little boy?

Go on honey, sit down on your potty and show your babysitter how you make wee-wees like a big boy.

What’s the matter, sweetie? Why are you dawdling? You said you had to pee, so I got your potty out of your diaper bag and put in on the ground for you. If people laugh at the sight of a grown man using a little plastic potty in the park then that’s just something you’ll have to get used to, because your Mommy told me you won’t be using the grown-up toilet again anytime soon.

You’re too embarrassed? Oh sweetheart, you’re going through regression discipline, remember? It’s supposed to be embarrassing. Now are you going to sit down and make tinkles in your toddler potty in public, or are you going to swap training pants and potties for big stinky diapers? Your choice, little one.

Na-na-na-na-na! You’re stuck in diapers! Hahaha! I love seeing you reduced to this. It’s amazing what the regression centers can do, isn’t it honey? I didn’t realise how powerful hypnosis could be. You’re basically just a big baby now!

Awww, you don’t think so? You think you’re still a man? You’re still a grown-up? That’s funny, because I didn’t realize grown men still sucked their thumbs. I didn’t realize they walked with a silly toddle wherever they went. I didn’t realize they spoke in an adowable baby voice all da time. And I definitely didn’t realize they squatted down and made stinkies in their diapers while their girlfriends talked to them!

Hahaha! You actually couldn’t tell, could you?! Oh my God, this is perfect. You were messing your diapee without even knowing it! Sorry honey, but your days as an adult are over. Sending you to the regression center was the best decision I ever made. Cry all you like stinky pants! These changes are permanent.

What’s that, honey? You want to get something to eat? Don’t be silly sweetie, I breastfed you right before we came out! Your tummy must be plenty full.

You want something solid? Oh baby… We talked about this. You don’t get to eat grown-up food anymore, remember? Mommy decided you weren’t man enough to be an adult, and that means losing certain big boy privileges. Why do you think you’re wearing that huge diaper under your pants? Because you’re just a big baby, and babies get all their meals from the breast.

The only time something that isn’t boobie milk ends up in your tummy is when we’ve got it from the baby food section, is that clear? So if you really want something to eat, you can go pick up some applesauce or strained prunes from the baby isle. But if you’re going to act fussy about your new diet, then I’ll pull your diaper down and give you a spanking right here in the store. What’s it going to be, little guy?

No matter how much their egos might make them deny it, men crave being babied. That’s why they’re happy to keep living with their parents while today’s women are off being independent. But there’s a simple solution to this problem! Take all of those silly boys who are sitting around at home and place each of them under the care and authority of modern, independent women their own age. It’s a win-win situation. The boys get pretty young Mommies to look after them, and the women get adorable overgrown toddlers (otherwise known as males) to play with and humiliate and use however they like. It’s true that women are racing ahead of men, but that doesn’t mean they can’t crawl along at our feet!