he will forgive your sins of thirsting over each and every member (especially wonho, we know it) and he will cleanse your soul with his blue drink full of aegyo and deep epic rap
Our Jooheon, Who art in Korea Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy rap kingdom come, Thy will be done, in korea as it is in the rest of the world. Give us this day our daily monsta x, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us (monsta x) and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from thirst. kukukaka
ok so after having read a few fics in the silmarillion fandom for the first time in literally years…. I remember now why I could only very rarely find fic I liked. it’s the language.
there’s always the danger when you’re writing fic for something where the author has such a distinctive voice: you can either try to emulate it - and potentially fail - or not bother, and potentially sound odd and anachronistic. I get it! it’s hard!
but. guys.
I mean this gently. but so much fic attempting to copy some hint of tolkien’s style fails so very miserably. so. so badly. you can use your own voice - that’s absolutely fine, and often indeed the wiser choice - but if you do choose to try and sound like tolkien….here is a post tailor made for you.
first of all, let’s look at the difference. why does this -
But Annatar paid heed most of all to their lord.
sound more tolkien-y than this -
To their lord the most ardent of his attentions were given.
?
(the second is a real sentence from a fic. the first is one I have ‘tolkienised’ myself.)
*deep breath*
tolkien was VERY aware of the provenance of certain words and has characters talking in VERY distinct registers at different times for specific purposes. and different styles of speech and word order and language (french/latinate vocabulary versus old English/germanic vocabulary). any unsuccessful attempt is thus extra jarring, because language isn’t only a signifier for specific social groups in-universe - he also uses it at the level of the text.
and yes maybe I’m extra salty about this because I’m a linguist and have Actually Studied the history of English as well as old English and an EXTENSIVE amount of comparative germanic languages…but here goes.
to highlight the difference in how tolkien uses different words from different sources, I’m going to compare the difference for example between the language used in the lament for the rohirrim vs the song of eärendil
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
VS
In panoply of ancient kings, in chainéd rings he armoured him; his shining shield was scored with runes to ward all wounds and harm from him; his bow was made of dragon-horn, his arrows shorn of ebony; of silver was his habergeon, his scabbard of chalcedony; his sword of steel was valiant, of adamant his helmet tall, an eagle-plume upon his crest, upon his breast an emerald.
maybe not the best comparison because significant parts of the latter also exhibit a) very germanic vocabulary ‘to ward all wounds and harm from him’ and b) lots of fun alliteration / stress / metre / cool half-rhyme/assonance stuff and c) VERY germanic syntax ‘he armoured him’ where ‘him’ = ‘himself’ - but compare the words for talking about armour, for example.
when tolkien uses excessively germanic old-english-y things he does so deliberately. when he uses excessively middle english french chivalric language he does so deliberately.
he’s making a point. do you think that people really spoke like that when he was writing the books? compare the language merry and pippin use to that in the oath of fëanor! he is aware of the effect different words have, and the power language holds. if he uses a word like puissance,it’s going to be used to deliberate effect, because the majority of the REALLY archaic vocabulary in his works is germanic, not latinate. (and I’m not talking first age, I’m talking…early stuff, things like the story of kullervo, which uses a different ridiculously archaic word for ‘fence’ or ‘glade’ every single fucking page and is written with syntax that hasn’t been used for hundreds of years). not latinate. it’s not french. it’s GERMANIC.
and this is difficult because it goes against everything most of us are used to in daily life. the majority of most ‘higher’ vocabulary came from the dual sources of the liturgical (latin) and the socially superior (norman french). to this day we can find many examples of ‘simple’ vocabulary like handortoothand more specialised, more formal vocabulary - like the equivalent manualordentist.and of course tolkien uses french and latinate words like the rest of us - it’s impossible not to. there are different levels of loanwords, and powerreads far more naturally than puissance.
but tolkien chooses often instead to use might.
we’re..less familiar with this. we are! there’s no question about it. every book or article we read is stuffed full of french and latinate stuff. so I think what people aim for is like…Vaguely Old-Worldly. but the problem is they don’t think about what that means. it doesn’t mean the same for tolkien as other writers. he isn’t chaucer. he isn’t shakespeare. he can and he does wield germanic vocabulary for incredibly specific, often archaic purposes. most fic writers will struggle with that.
similarly important and very related: one of the things that marks Tolkien’s writing as so spectacular is his use, at times, of INCREDIBLY SIMPLE narration. he can and does do otherwise, but SO much of his writing has this clarity to it. a simplicity. and this is deliberately stylistic too! look at this passage when théoden leads his armies into battle:
And darkness was removed and the hosts of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them
thisand, and, and…is a very common structure in old oral epic: a lot of epics would start every new line with and. it’s simple, but incredibly powerful: and terror took them, and they fled, and died. isn’t that enough? doesn’t that say everything? terror took them, and they fled, and died. what more is there?
another thing is sentence structure. you guys. my dudes. once again, much of tolkien’s sentence structure is far simpler than you think. I don’t mean all of it - think again of the oath of fëanor - but most of it really is quite simple. what makes it ‘hard’ and ‘confusing’ is similarly its germanic-ness: structures like yet naught was seen orto the mountains they had fled feel archaic to us, but all they are is ever so slightly more germanic than we are used to. which in turn is not the same thing as complex - as all readers of modern day German with its love of 12-comma sentences and paragraphs spanning more than one page know.
look at this description:
All about them were small woods of resinous trees, fir and cedar and cypress, and other kinds unknown in the Shire, with wide glades among them; and everywhere there was a wealth of sweet-smelling herbs and shrubs. The long journey from Rivendell had brought them far south of their own land, but not until now in this more sheltered region had the hobbits felt the change of clime. Here Spring was already busy about them: fronds pierced moss and mould, larches were green-fingered, small flowers opening in the turf, birds were singing.
yes, it’s long. yes, there’s a lot going on. but look at the structure. if you simplify it it’s something like there were trees; and there were shrubs. the journey brought them south, but not until now had they felt the change of clime. here spring was busy; plants were X, and birds were Y.
this is literally just coordination - the most basic of structures. the not until now part is the sort of thing that throws people off, because it’s not a structure we’re so used to seeing. but this is nota complex sentence structure, it’s just ordered a bit different.
with all that in mind, I want to revisit quickly a few of the sentences to give a proper example of what I mean. here are some parts - just a few examples - of what bugs me about much fic
But where ordinarily such words would have stung, they would have seemed barbed and venomous and Celebrimbor would have replied with acrimony in kind, …
One subtle curl of puissance and he could have this elf lord on his knees.
To their lord the most ardent of his attentions were given, and often he could be found at Celebrimbor’s side if he was not otherwise occupied. Though at first they fenced about each other, their conversations thrust and parried as do all fledgling friendships forged in uneasy times, as the days rolled by a true sense of camaraderie began to unfurl between them.
I’m not talking about the quality of the writing, let others judge that - I’m talking SOLELY about the types of words used. notice anything about the words I’ve bolded? yeah. those are all latinate/french.
let me rewrite a few of these sentences. I’m Not Saying look I can write better but guys. if you are trying to write Like That then…take a few of the tips above, and it might just sound less anachronistic.
Such words from another would sting; but Celebrimbor’s answer would come swift and sharp.
But Annatar paid heed most of all to their lord. Often they walked together through the great forges of Eregion, and took delight in each other’s wit.
As the days passed the friendship between the two men grew.
once again. I’m not saying these are Better Writing. but they exhibit the principles I talked about.
which are:
1) utilise words that stand out to the modern reader, yes, but for specific purpose and effect. if you’re going to use puissance,recognise that it stands out and is oddly formal, and use it in an appropriate context. where you don’t want that effect, use something more neutral (powerormight)
2) archaic words are germanic more often than latinate/french. obscure latinate/french vocabulary, as above, is used for very specific purposes.
3) simple narration, simple sentence structure and simple vocabulary. write with clarity. write as if it’s meant to be read aloud. look at the landscape description above; it’s measured, and well-balanced. there’s no need for purple prose.
4) germanic sentence structure - yes! very complex sentence structure - no. look at the sentence you wish that I had gone in his stead orhe paid heed most of all to their lord. the separation of those two elements - and therefore greater flexibility - is more representative of an older stage of the language. more archaic canmean ‘sentence with twenty clauses’, but it usually doesn’t. not here.
5) pay attention to the conventions of epic and oral story-telling. you can start sentences with ‘and’ and ‘but’ more than your english teacher probably allowed.
6) where are your characters from? if you are trying to use regional language or slang - do your research. the hobbits use a lot of West Country Somerset / Wiltshire language, for example
part of what’s so heartbreaking about all of this is, despite the scumminess and scheming and cutting corners and lies that jimmy has been responsible for or complicit in, throughout his erosion and shifting self, there’s only one thing he’s consistently wanted, and it’s a life with kim. it was an office. it was, you and me, is this happening, even if i choose not to take this cushy job you’ve helped arrange for me, and then, even after i tank this cushy job? it was taking the cigarette directly from her mouth being tantamount to a kiss even when things were too unclear to just kiss her. it was daydreaming about horses and getting a smoker. it was doodling WMs together like a giddy kid with a crush. it was taking her to a fancy open house and giggling when they turned on the shower, the suggestion that maybe someday they could have this. it was admiring her, telling her she deserved to be somewhere where she was valued, where they cared about her. it was letting her in on hurts and vulnerability and vindictive plans, and then trying to give her an out - you’ll never hear about things like this again, i know we went too far here - only for her to help, or go even further, or push him frantically against the wall, and him realizing she wanted this too, and all their jagged edges and pieces fit. it was screwing up and being terrified of losing her only for her to say, maybe we get married, and the marriage of convenience and disguise and legal arrangement being something real and true and tender. it’s the intimacy in their space, the only times we see them with all facade stripped away, curled together watching movies and eating take out on the couch. she’s not in the game, she’s not even game adjacent. the only thing that kept me going out there was you. if anything happens to her, i can’t do this. it was taking care of one another through injury and trauma - the car accident, chuck’s death, the mugging, the desert - through personal and professional setbacks, through jimmy, you are always down, through, i had an urge not to tell you, so i’m telling you. through am i bad for you and implying he should leave, and her defiantly reaching back to hold him tighter, as if she’d let him go after she thought she’d lost him.
they are intertwined in every sense. they have no one else. not family, not friends, not colleagues. no one knows them or cherishes them for themselves except one another. they come from damaged places but make each other’s worlds fuller, complete. so jimmy daydreams of them working together, then he daydreams of them having a home.
the sanctity of their home has been invaded and turned red, our color association with the criminal in their world. all that blue splashed crimson. but more than the law, more than simply being alive from one moment to the next, the very worst thing they could ever lose is the foundation of their love. that’s (the kind of heartbreak time could never mend…) their something unforgivable. how do you recover from losing the mirror and twin flame of your soul?
they desperately, damagingly cling to one another. when someone insults him, she takes it personally because it’s demeaning to the part of her that IS him. it’s not as simple as corruption, or one makes the other worse, because that implies they don’t already understand one another. it’s much more a revelation, of identity, or darknesses, of light. all this, messes and tragedies and comedies of error, all of it is their love story. i did it for kim. they love each other. that’s the beginning and end of everything. that’s what will be the most terrible to lose.
