If you told Shu he’d be the father of twin girls, he would have never believed you. And on the off chance he had, he would have been terrified. What was he, a hitman, supposed to do with frilly little girls?
However, he’d lucked out and been spared the frills and pink, thankfully. Instead of sugar, spice, and everything nice, these two were moxie, sass, and pains in the ass. He couldn’t tell if it was his fault or Teuta’s. Or worse yet, an amalgamation of the two.
“So Uncle Limbo puts bad guys in jail, right?”
Currently, the six-year-old Tornado Twins were perched on Crow’s couch on either side of their dad. It was their birthday, and Crow had been able to wrangle everyone together so as to throw the girls a party with all their uncles.
“That’s right,” Limbo said, answering the girls’ question. At the moment, they were going around and asking what everyone did for a job.
“And Uncle Helvetica makes people look pretty?”
“I do, in a sense.” It was clear Helvetica wanted to elaborate but didn’t considering the young age of his current audience.
“And Uncle Mozu is a corner?”
“Coroner,” Mozu kindly corrected. “I examine corpses to see how they died.”
The girls nodded. “And Uncle Crow is a hacker?”
“That’s right!” he said with a salute that made both girls laugh.
“Okay,” Tyra began. “But what are your jobs in the gang?”
Limbo’s expression fell, along with everyone else’s. “Gang?”
“Yeah!” Jane joined in. “Daddy says you’re like his gang. Are your jobs in the gang different?”
Shu felt more than saw his wife glare at him. “Shu,” Teuta hissed.
“They asked; they’re old enough.” He was their age when his innocence was shattered. In a way worse way, too. So while he felt bad shattering their image of their dad being a hero—it meant more than he cared to admit to be so loved and admired by his girls—he didn’t want them to live in ignorance. And this was the nicest way he saw to ease them into it.
Which was just a convenient way to cover the fact he didn’t want to admit to Teuta that the Tornado Twins had overheard him talking to the boys over the phone about a job. He was growing rather scared of how stealthy they were that they could sneak up on him like that at this age.
How the everloving hell was he going to handle them as teenagers?
“Uhh…” At a loss, Limbo looked up to Shu for guidance.
It was Teuta who broke the silence with a heavy sigh that meant Shu was off the hook… for now. “Girls, what Daddy means is that your uncles all help each other so they can help other people.”
“Ohhh,” they hummed together.
“But they do it for money, right?” Tyra broke in.
Helvetica snorted.
Teuta glared at him.
It did not matter that her glare was not aimed at him; Shu knew he was back on the hook.
“Yes, we get paid for our efforts,” Mozu simply said. “As one does get paid for a job. But do not confuse what you see in movies for what we do. We are not a violent gang.”
Shu nodded his approval to Mozu.
“Okay,” Jane said. “Then do you fight bad guys like in the movies?”
“Sort of,” Limbo said. “Your dad fights the most. He’s the best fighter.”
“Duh!” the two girls sassed.
Shu chuckled. How he ended up with two little girls obsessed over him—furthermore, how he was so happy about it—was beyond him. Was this what Teach felt like? He couldn’t help but feel like maybe it was.
He glanced over at Teuta, who rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, but she was smiling. Smiling was good. Smiling meant he probably wasn’t in trouble.
Probably.
“Such daddy’s girls,” Limbo commented with a grin.
“Who’s the next best fighter?”
The boys paused and looked around.
Shu leaned over to whisper conspiratorially to his girls. “Your dad does almost all the fighting.”
The girls hummed their approval.
“So,” Tyra said. “They’re wusses?”
A round of “whoa!”s and “hold on!”s rang through the room as Shu sniggered. Yeah, there was no talking himself out of this one. Teuta was going to kill him for sure.
“No no, see,” Limbo corrected. “Your dad does most of the fighting, but we can all fight if needed.”
“Some better than others,” Helvetica dryly quipped before pasting on a calm smile again. “But, we all try to avoid fighting by talking people out of it. Like calming them down. Limbo and I are the best at doing so.”
The girls slowly nodded. “Then what about Uncle Mozu and Uncle Crow?”
“I do not often face threats,” Mozu said. “But I also calm people with rationality. Helvetica and Limbo are more likely to fight with their words.”
“Fight with words?” Tyra asked.
Mozu nodded, earning him glares from Limbo and Helvetica.
“You could have said that better,” Limbo grumbled.
“Fighting with words,” Mozu clarified when Tyra and Jane quirked their heads. “It means saying things that may rile someone else.”
“Like what bullies do?” Jane asked.
Shu sniggered, and he swore he saw dark clouds settle over Helvetica and Limbo’s faces.
“Not quite,” Teuta said, trying to salvage the situation. Likely so her girls wouldn’t get any bad ideas. “Because bullies say things like ‘you’re stupid’, but your Uncle Limbo is a lawyer who fights for truth. So he says things about people they don’t like. Like, ‘you were mean to this person. You should fix your mistake.’ And people get really mad about it.”
“Ohhh,” the girls said, seeming to understand better.
“So he says the truth and people don’t like it?” Jane clarified.
“Exactly.”
“Okay.”
“Does Uncle Helvetica do the same thing?” Tyra asked.
“Well… yes.” A lie, clearly, but it seemed Helvetica was willing to jump on the bandwagon if only to salvage his image and not confuse the girls more with his real “gang” job.
“Ohh,” Jane hummed in understanding. “Then what about Uncle Crow?”
“I’ll let you two girls in on a little secret,” Crow said with a wink. He then sat up proud. “Your uncle is the Boss of the Underworld.”
Instead of looking on in pride, the two looked on in confusion.
“But do you fight?” Tyra asked.
“No,” Helvetica said, smiling as he watched Crow deflate at the lackluster reaction. “He normally stays hidden away here.”
“Oh,” Tyra said. “It’s okay, Uncle Crow. Every gang has to have a pansy.”
A stiff silence rent the room for about half a second before a roar of laughter covered Crow’s cries. “A-a-a pansy!”
Jane gasped. “Tyra! You can’t say that!”
“Thank you!” Crow cried.
“You didn’t put a quarter in the jar first!”
“Wha!” Crow screeched while the others continued to laugh. “A quarter?!”
Jane nodded seriously. “Dad says it’s a dollar, but Mama says because we’re cute that we can sucker Crow into letting us only pay a quarter.”
Another rumble of laughter rent the room. A sniggering Shu couldn’t help squeezing his girls tightly in approval as he stole a look over at his wife, who was blushing. Shu knew she was recalling that conversation he’d had with her only days ago, back when both of them thought the girls were asleep.
They really were becoming way too sneaky for their own good. Shu was gonna have to start teaching them more and give them an outlet for this slyness.
Eventually, Teuta smiled at the sputtering Crow. She squared her shoulders, then reached into her back pocket, where she pulled out a dollar and proudly tapped it into the jar. Which earned another round of laughter from the boys and a glare from Crow.
Tyra, upon watching, suddenly scrambled away, tearing off in the direction of the front door. When she came back, she held her little purse, one that matched Jane’s and was filled with a pad of paper, pencil, and coins that both girls carried around to copy their mom. Tyra took out a quarter and put it in the jar.
“Aww, now Crow,” Limbo began, giving the man a warning smile as he held the jar to make a point. “You’re really gonna sit here and take money from your little nieces?”
“Y-yes,” he said, blushing all the while.
“Wow, you’re cruel,” Helvetica remarked. He then pulled out a dollar, shoving it in the jar before taking out the quarter and giving it back to Tyra. “It’s not fair for you to have to pay on your birthday.”
Tyra’s expression lit up before she took the quarter and hugged Helvetica.
“Heyheyhey!” Crow cried.
“You get to say nothing,” Helvetica smugly said, relishing the hug from the little girl. “You wanted to take money from the little girls on their birthday. There is no man more heartless in the room than you.”
“Hey! No! Respect jar!”
With a grin, Helvetica slipped another dollar in the jar.
Jane frowned. “Uncle Helvetica, why did you do that? Don’t you only tell people the truth, even if they don’t like it?”
Teuta herself started sniggering, and Shu couldn’t help laughing, either. Limbo was guffawing off to the side while Mozu covered his mouth with a hand.
Helvetica was beaming. “My nieces are officially the most charming girls I’ve ever met. Eighty for both of them.”
