#cell phone

This is my social life

“The Talking Phone” is a short story I wrote about a man and his talking cell phone.

—–

Hola, Siri.

Buenos dias, Joey.

Siri, I’m feeling a bit down. Maybe because it’s cloudy outside. What does the weather report say?

It will be ap-proximately 72 degrees Fahrenheit today.

Well that’s good. I’m still sad though.

Why Joey?

Well, to tell you the truth Siri, I’m in a bit of a funk. I just don’t know what’s meaningful anymore. I’m not happy.

I know what you mean.

Do you? Ya know Siri, your voice is extremely human-like.

I am the most advanced mobile device on the mar-ket.

That’s true. Anyways, you know about the kind of existential depression I’m in? That’s amazing. Commiserating with a computer actually makes me feel more pathetic.

Don’t feel that way Joey. Studies show that 42.6% of males your age ex-perience these feelings.

Maybe it’s the lack of a lover in my life. I am alone, and sometimes lonely.

You need some action, Joey.

I guess.

There is the beautiful woman in the apartment across the street in 12B. She seems lone-ly too.

Siri how do you know about her?

I have two high-definition cameras. I am the most advan-

Wow, that’s creepy. You’re right though, she is beautiful. But she has a husband.

Who left this morning for a weeklong business trip.

What are you suggesting Siri?

She is beautiful. And like you, she is very lonely and needs some com-pany.

Maybe. I really like her style. It’s bohemian, and she always wears those big, dangly earrings.

I- ehem- she would very much like to see you.

You think so?

Brush your teeth, Joey. I’ll be over in five minutes.