#charlotte ritchie
fanny : i’m not doing too well. i have this headache that comes and goes.
alison : *walks into the room*
fanny : oh look, there it is again.
thomas : if i were a gardener i’d put our tulips together.
alison :thanks?
mike : if i were a gardener you’d be my hoe.
alison :aww.
alison : if you want something bad, you’ve gotta work for it. it’s time to break out the “p” word.
mike : paul blart : mall cop?
alison : the other “p” word.
mike :
mike : paul blart : mall cop 2?
thomas : people don’t write things on the walls of the ladies’ room.
alison : have you been in a ladies’ room?
thomas : of course not! i know i have the sexual charisma of a bad boy, but i certainly don’t have the manners of one.
both : we got…
mike :…tacos!
alison :…married!
mike : oh, oh yeah. yeah, we got married. and then after we got married, we got tacos!
alison : you did see the “do not disturb” sign on the door, right?
kitty : don’t worry, i’ll make sure no one disturbs you.
pat : you believe me?
alison : pat, you are the last genuinely good person in this house. i would believe cartoon birds helped you get dressed in the morning.
mike : how are you so calm all the time?
alison : the trick is to be so stressed out that it becomes a default state of mind.
alison : *putting honey in her tea* hell yeah, get in that leaf juice you sexy, sexy bee sauce.
fanny : do you accept constructive criticism on your sentences?
alison :nope.
alison : what’s pat short for?
captain : it’s short for patri-
thomas : it’s because he’s got tiny little legs.
Kiell hitting us with the content we want