#dd humor

LIVE

sexygaywizard:

sexygaywizard:

Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??

Me when I’m a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats

chronicconfusion:

otherwindow:

I’d like to think healing magic naturally doesn’t produce the soothing light it’s associated with. Rather, healers make the light on purpose to distract you from wound gore and keep you calm.

Rogue with a large bleeding wound: Haha, so bright, can’t see a thing!
Healer, lying: It’s just a tiny cut, don’t worry :)

brazenautomaton:

garmbreak1:

shieldfoss:

apricops:

The worst part about writing fantasy is being keenly aware that you’re writing fantasy, which means that you always have to straddle a thin three-way line between anachronism, cliche, and clunk.

Take money, for example. You can’t just have people in a fictional fantasy world walk around using Euros. You consider something generic, like ‘silver coins,’ but before you know it your world starts sounding like a shitty ren faire.

So you think about the world you’ve built and its needs and its history to come up with some unique and relevant terms. But if your terms are toounique and relevant you wind up writing “yarr, you’ll be ransomed for a hundred Trade League Silver Gyrblonks” and realize your worldbuilding is now getting in the way of basic readability.

“They’re using golden valley coins!”

…didst thou mean dollars?

“Nevermind. They’re using some basic silver coin and then enough gold to be worth ten silver coins is called a ten-piece”

…Si, si, el Peso!

Trying over, they’re minted by the king so they’re called crown coins, or, these days, abbreviated, they’re just Crowns

Naturligvis, vi skifter Daler ud med Kroner!

The Lesson Of The Day is that all the names are already claimed by IRL, and all the almost-good-names that you could invent to get around that were used by some SFF author in the seventies e.g. I bet you can’t do Suns and Moons for your gold/silver coins, I bet some author did that already.

My fantasy nation uses solid gold coins marked by the dental impressions of the reigning king, as a sign of their purity and authenticity.

They’re called Bitcoins.

oh you can go the fuck to jail that’s what you can do, where you’ll be shackled to a chain gang hitting the blockchain with a pickaxe

prokopetz:

D&D manuals, on half-elemental characters: Half-elementals might come about due to prenatal exposure to extraplanar energies, via an ancestral bargain with an elemental prince, or through the blessing of a god of nature.

D&D players with half-elemental characters: My mom fucked a rock.

*Scribbles down campaign ideas*

bossubossupromode:

r-n-w:

wearemage:

tymna:

blogging-phelddagrif:

zombieella:

As an entry-level DnD player can someone explain to me in the simplest possible way how to differentiate wizards, warlocks, and sorcerers from each other?

wizards is imbued with magic, you just need to prepare mentally your spells.

sorcerer studied magic, you need to physically prepare your spells and often need materials.

warlock has magic because of demon, you have access to mainly dark magic as well as eldritch blast as a free unlimited cantrip.

to be honest, play-wise wizards & sorcerers are very similar as they tend to have a lot of shared spells. sorcerers get to specialize in a school of magic more than wizards though. and warlock its pretty much just dark magic.

this, except reverse wizards and sorcerers.

sorcerers innately have their magic (usually because someone fucked a magic being. often a dragon)

wizards studied magic and learned accordingly. they also tend to be older, but not always.

warlocks get their magic from pacts with magic beings (which i don’t think necessarily have to be demons).

As@tymna just said. @wearesorcerer&@we-are-warlock

Like this?

Wizards: Studious Chemistry Nerds

Sorcerers: Dramatic Theater Nerds

Warlocks: Edgy Hacker Nerds

Bards: Goofy Band Nerds

Druids: Quiet Environmentalist Nerds

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