If he made us all in his Image why are there so many rapists,pedophiles and murderers out there? Why do brothers lay with sisters? Why do parents murder their children (oh wait. Sorry Jesus) and vice versa? Why do the innocent always seem to die horribly while the evil and corrupt get cushy lives and peaceful deaths?
Why does humanity sit and carelessly destroy the planet and one another? Why do they never learn?
I felt like I had wings again of some sort but…like they were nude and cut part way to the shoulder blade. They didn’t hurt though and while I missed how it used to feel with my full wingspan and feathers it felt good to feel themandmove themagain.
Did a meditation tonight so here’s a whole bunch of memories I uprooted!
❤ I was waiting for my companion in our home(ish), anxiously. As soon as he walked in the door, I ran over to him. He didn’t look me in the eye, clearly distraught. Neither of us had to speak. He looked aside, and I wrapped my wings around him as he leaned into me and started to cry. His best friend had been killed in the war.
❤ Running through the angel hub in Heaven to catch up to him, jumping on his back and accidentally smacking him in the face with a wing.
❤ Walking in the rose garden on my own, picking some of the roses to make a flower crown and decorate the house. I was gentle and soft with them. The memory had a pink and gold tint to it.
❤ In a flowery field, blue skies above me. I was sitting with another angel, my sister, smiling and laughing in casual conversation. We were talking about our significant others, having a good time. @angelicmarigold turns out to be this angel!!
❤ Laying on the beach with my companion, looking up to the skies. We were moving around and smacking each other with wings, trying to get comfortable. Blissful laughing and warm temperatures, stars above our heads.
I recently have created a brand new Discord server, called The Angelkin Haven. This server is open to anyone, but directed at and aimed to a haven for angelkin to interact. I want to get this rolling so throwing out the link here since i know some of you will definitely want to join it!
So, I’ve been inactive recently. I’d like to explain myself, my opinion, and what happened.
I’ll start off with this:
I’m definitely not angelkin anymore.
To start, at the time when I believed I was angelkin and focused myself in the community, I was in a toxic relationship with my best friend who I was in love with. He was my best friend of five years and I was struggling to notice how he was caring less and less about me; I suppose it was in my subconscious, lingering there, but it was hard for me to accept. It was my last close friendship and relationship and I couldn’t lose it. He was Christian; I was keeping my beliefs solely for him and out of fear of what he would do if I wasn’t Christian. So, I let my hopes manifest in the form of a past life, imagining what he and I were like then. It was an extremely toxic relationship; he didn’t care about me, at all. I was just another person. As much as I put into the friendship, I got little to nothing back, and it was incredibly painful to me. It was toxic and we broke away very suddenly right before my birthday and the holiday season after he told me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. He was leading me on for no reason. I was blind to how homophobic, borderline racist, and against other religions he was. I made mistakes as well, of course, I shouldn’t have forced myself to keep up with him, I shouldn’t have kept warping my personality to fit his. I myself was being as manipulative as he was, trying to bring a dead friendship back to life.
And it brought a whole series of changes to my life.
If I am being honest with myself, angelkin was an escape. It was a fabricated reality where I was shaping myself into someone he’d like me to be; something that told us fate wanted us to be together. I became obsessed with the thought of another life at the loss of interest of my own; I started to shape myself off a past life which I didn’t even know at the time if it was real or not. I was creating a second personality and identity for myself where I convinced myself it was me, when it really wasn’t.
I am now an omnist, meaning I find truth in all religions, while my faith is Wiccan. When I turned away from that toxic relationship, everything was like a breath of fresh air. I could explore my own religion without his pressure. And that’s what I did.
Through this, I learned one of my most integral lessons: we cannot dwell and obsess over our pasts if we wish to grow as people.
Angelkin, for me, was an obsession with a past life. It was creating an identity out of a past I was using to cope with. I, with all my heart, believe the past is something to learn from; something to look back and learn lessons, take with you to the future, but not to obsess over. If we, as humans, focus ourselves so much on our past, we can’t advance ourselves in the now. Focusing on someone you once were cannot shape who you are now. The only way for us to grow is to explore and venture away from our pasts, become new people. I am on this earth not to dwell on a past life; I am on this earth to be who I am now. I cannot do that while also being angelkin and dwelling on my past life. Making ourselves something we aren’t is not going to help us in any way; it’s a lesson I believe I should spread to others after this experience. We cannot be both an angel and a human; we can only be who we are in the now, and that is human. Being human is such a wonderful, wonderful thing, a wonderful blessing no matter what your religion is. Humans are imperfect, make mistakes, and unholy. An angel cannot be a human; an angel is an angel, and it is as simple as that.
Granted, I still very much respect the otherkin community and wish you all wonderful days to come. I understand the need and want to know a past life or shape your identity into something inhuman; humanity can be as scary as it is appealing. I, however, felt the need to share this lesson as I believe others in this community might be able to learn from their own experiences from my lesson.
I am not sure who I was in a past life. Perhaps I was an angel; would there be any way for me to truly know? The fact remains; I am who I am now, and the lessons from a past life will eventually make themselves known to me in this life. I do not need to know my past life in order to grow and follow the course of the karmic cycle and life.
I can love and heal - my core values - just as much as a human as an angel. I do really believe in love, light, and peace for all, just the same as an angel. But I don’t need to be an angel to do that. I can heal in the now, work on smiling every day at someone new, and embrace the small miracles in life we, as humans, can bless other humans with.
I am happy and confident with who I am now. I have tapped into my identity, and for the first time, merged my spirituality and religion with who I really am. I will not be disclosing my identity on this account; of course, Azhira was not my real name. This is a part of me I hope to leave and learn from in the past myself.
Thank you for anyone who read through this and anyone who supported me as I went through some rough times in the community.
This will be my goodbye. I will end up deleting my account in a couple of days. I will answer messages for a short time if there are any.
I recently have created a brand new Discord server, called The Angelkin Haven. This server is open to anyone, but directed at and aimed to a haven for angelkin to interact. I want to get this rolling so throwing out the link here since i know some of you will definitely want to join it!
❤ Chats for memories, kin calls, phantom wings, and even more!
❤ A spiritual section where spiritual angelkin can chat about their beliefs
❤ Open and welcoming space to any angelkin of any kind, Abrahamic or not
❤ 16+ years old to join!
Please do join us!
Couple of quick updates on what we’ve got in store, since we’ve changed it up a bit!
❤ A large community setting, moderated by a team where we make it a priority that one mod is on at all times. Good server protection.
❤ Role bots with 100+ roles to pick from to help identify yourself
❤ A channel for kin calls and kin call discussions
❤ Open mod applications
❤ Rank/choir-specific chats to share memories with other angels of your same rank
❤ Daily angelkin questions and polls!
❤ And lots more!
Come check us out! With 50+ people, we’re looking to build up and really create a positive hub for all angelkin out there wanting to talk to others like them.
He is the End. Plagues of locusts, rising sea levels, nuclear winter, blood of the gods. But to hold him in your arms slows the beating of his doomsday heart. When the sun rises for the two of you once again, the world continues to turn.
His hands linger on your hips. Your breaths are whispers in the dark of the night; the rain like tears on your skin; blood tainting the purity of the pavement under your feet as he leads the dance of your demise. You don’t know his plan for you yet. You don’t need to. You’ll let him lead you in this eternal dance until he inevitably swallows your life whole.
He confuses your teeth for mountains. He wanders, exploring your vastness; he is an insect to you, treading so lightly you can scarcely feel it. You remain still for him, and he erects shrines to your greatness. His stature is microscopic, but his love for you is tremendous.
Your palms are bloody. He would be proud. Your handiwork splays across your skin, carvings in His name, the eyes on your skin allowing Him to see you as often as He wants. If your Muse can’t be here physically, you’ll be His window. You’ll let Him see.
