#other kin

So, I’ve been inactive recently. I’d like to explain myself, my opinion, and what happened.

I’ll start off with this:

I’m definitely not angelkin anymore.

To start, at the time when I believed I was angelkin and focused myself in the community, I was in a toxic relationship with my best friend who I was in love with. He was my best friend of five years and I was struggling to notice how he was caring less and less about me; I suppose it was in my subconscious, lingering there, but it was hard for me to accept. It was my last close friendship and relationship and I couldn’t lose it. He was Christian; I was keeping my beliefs solely for him and out of fear of what he would do if I wasn’t Christian. So, I let my hopes manifest in the form of a past life, imagining what he and I were like then. It was an extremely toxic relationship; he didn’t care about me, at all. I was just another person. As much as I put into the friendship, I got little to nothing back, and it was incredibly painful to me. It was toxic and we broke away very suddenly right before my birthday and the holiday season after he told me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. He was leading me on for no reason. I was blind to how homophobic, borderline racist, and against other religions he was. I made mistakes as well, of course, I shouldn’t have forced myself to keep up with him, I shouldn’t have kept warping my personality to fit his. I myself was being as manipulative as he was, trying to bring a dead friendship back to life.

And it brought a whole series of changes to my life.

If I am being honest with myself, angelkin was an escape. It was a fabricated reality where I was shaping myself into someone he’d like me to be; something that told us fate wanted us to be together. I became obsessed with the thought of another life at the loss of interest of my own; I started to shape myself off a past life which I didn’t even know at the time if it was real or not. I was creating a second personality and identity for myself where I convinced myself it was me, when it really wasn’t. 

I am now an omnist, meaning I find truth in all religions, while my faith is Wiccan. When I turned away from that toxic relationship, everything was like a breath of fresh air. I could explore my own religion without his pressure. And that’s what I did.

Through this, I learned one of my most integral lessons: we cannot dwell and obsess over our pasts if we wish to grow as people.

Angelkin, for me, was an obsession with a past life. It was creating an identity out of a past I was using to cope with. I, with all my heart, believe the past is something to learn from; something to look back and learn lessons, take with you to the future, but not to obsess over. If we, as humans, focus ourselves so much on our past, we can’t advance ourselves in the now. Focusing on someone you once were cannot shape who you are now. The only way for us to grow is to explore and venture away from our pasts, become new people. I am on this earth not to dwell on a past life; I am on this earth to be who I am now. I cannot do that while also being angelkin and dwelling on my past life. Making ourselves something we aren’t is not going to help us in any way; it’s a lesson I believe I should spread to others after this experience. We cannot be both an angel and a human; we can only be who we are in the now, and that is human. Being human is such a wonderful, wonderful thing, a wonderful blessing no matter what your religion is. Humans are imperfect, make mistakes, and unholy. An angel cannot be a human; an angel is an angel, and it is as simple as that.

Granted, I still very much respect the otherkin community and wish you all wonderful days to come. I understand the need and want to know a past life or shape your identity into something inhuman; humanity can be as scary as it is appealing. I, however, felt the need to share this lesson as I believe others in this community might be able to learn from their own experiences from my lesson.

I am not sure who I was in a past life. Perhaps I was an angel; would there be any way for me to truly know? The fact remains; I am who I am now, and the lessons from a past life will eventually make themselves known to me in this life. I do not need to know my past life in order to grow and follow the course of the karmic cycle and life.

I can love and heal - my core values - just as much as a human as an angel. I do really believe in love, light, and peace for all, just the same as an angel. But I don’t need to be an angel to do that. I can heal in the now, work on smiling every day at someone new, and embrace the small miracles in life we, as humans, can bless other humans with.

I am happy and confident with who I am now. I have tapped into my identity, and for the first time, merged my spirituality and religion with who I really am. I will not be disclosing my identity on this account; of course, Azhira was not my real name. This is a part of me I hope to leave and learn from in the past myself.

Thank you for anyone who read through this and anyone who supported me as I went through some rough times in the community.

This will be my goodbye. I will end up deleting my account in a couple of days. I will answer messages for a short time if there are any.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and night! 

“could i have a moodboard for an ayano who was rejected by senpai but can’t bring herself to kill him or herself?”

Yes you may. I’m sorry to hear about that, Ayano, but I sincerely hope you’re doing well in this life.

-Mod Adrien

A demi-girl icon for Ruby Rose from RWBY for @umbraraptor

- Mod Adrien

An aesthetic for Violet Harmon with depression and loneliness as themes. I’m going to be tagging this one with a lot of self harm triggers. Please let me know if anyone needs trigger tags added

- Mod Adrien

“ hi! hello! could,,, could I possibly request an aesthetic for a fluffy pink dragon,,? I don’t remember much of anything of my past life (i struggle at remembering my current life haha,,) but i’ve always vibed really well with fire too!! -”

This made me smile. Pink fluffy dragons need more love! I haven’t been doing the best reccently so this little bit of positivity cheered me up

- Mod Adrien

“ Can I get a sad themed aesthetic for a noncanon wife of Jotaro Kujo who never left him, but felt that she was the reason that he began to ignore her. I still dont know of it was intentional or nor but its happening to me again with someone and I just. Need a lil comfort. Dark blue and gold colors if you could please. ”

I know you wanted a sad theme, but I had to put the gold sign to not worry in there. People can hurt you and people can drift apart, but as with every problem, the best solution is to give voice to it. If you feel you’re close to losing someone dear to you, or that someone you love may be drifting apart, ask them about it. Maybe tell them how much they mean to you and express you don’t want to lose them. I understand it’s too late to do so with Jotaro, but in your current timeline, please take care of yourself and remember that you are not defined by these things. You’ll pull through, my dear, and if you need cheering up, my blogs always here.

If you remember any more details about your life as Jotaros wife, feel free to send them in. I’d love to hear more, and it may even help you find a canonmate. I’d love to help however I can

- Mod Adrien

An aesthetic for Trish Una who loved Bruno, with pink and blue themes.

Disclaimer: neither I, nor the original requester support this relationship, or ship in the show. We both acknowledge the age gap and disapprove of it, but this is to help them cope with the memories of that relationship without glorifying the age gap between them.

- Mod Adrien

Kaede Akamatsu aesthetic with pink and happiness as themes!

- Mod Adrien

“Out of curiosity could I snag a spread for a bluish grey dragon mama? I lived in a cliff side cave next to an ocean, anything to do with missing flight and my two hatchlings would be super sweet.”

This canon sounds adorable and making this felt amazing. This aesthetic is for @goblin-with-a-wagon

- Mod Adrien

“ Moodboard for a non-verbal Komi Shoko {from Komi-san wa, Komyushou desu} that loves Hitohito Tadano {Same source} and really wants to tell him! ”

This is an adorable ask, and I really wanna read this manga now.

- Mod Adrien

“ Could I get a mood board for a 2-D who actually has a good relationship with his Murdoc with themes of love and forgiveness, sky blues and forest greens? If yes, thank you in advanced! ^^ - ”

There you go, 2D! I hope you like it. Finding official art to use was tricky and I’m not even totally sure if this is official or not.

- Mod Adrien

Here you go, Sayori! This request had Sayori overcoming her depression and doing a lot better. I honestly love seeing stuff like this and I love making it too.

- Mod Adrien

An aesthetic for Killer T from Cells at Work! Thought I was the only one kin from this but your asks have proven me wrong!

- Mod Adrien

Aesthetic for Roxy Lalonde with pink and soft themes!

- Mod Adrien.

Aesthetic for Nico from Nanbaka with emphasis on positivity!

-Mod Adrien

“Could I have a mood board for Yandere Gakupo (from Tragedy Of The Chateau Cepage) who secretly hates being the way he is and wants to become better, and is desperately trying to be a good person? If you can’t get a good picture if him from Tragedy, any fancy looking Gakupo would work just fine. Hope this is okay! -️”

Thank you so much for the ask. I’m always looking for new vocaloid songs and Gakupo is one of my favourites. I gave this a listen and got really inspired to make it right away. I hope you like it! I put a picture of him from the Tragedy in the centre.

-Mod Adrien