My family keeps rushing me to get out of my room. I’m about to send this in a mass text so they’ll stop talking to me. They don’t even like me so like what difference does it make if I chill in my room in a towel for another 20 minutes?
I’m making my best friend watch through Leverage with me and jfc I forgot just how much I love this show. I’m sorry barring how lovable the characters are and how cathartic it is to watch them ruin rich people’s lives every episode and it being the best example of the found family trope I’ve ever seen it’s just.
This show is so motherfucking funny.
Like in the Missing Heir Job the mark asks what Parker was doing in the other room and Nate just straight out his ass goes “ummmm stealing! she has a meth problem!” and Parker deadpanning harder than any human has ever deadpanned before goes “I do. I love meth.”
Note that this is after Nate conspicuously keeps trying to loudly work the word “safe” into his convo with the mark to get Parker to stop robbing the guy and come pretend to be the long lost heir of the dude whose inheritance they’re trying to get in the right hands– which the mark buys to such a degree that he immediately tries to have Parker killed.
Nothing is funnier to me than when this group of savant geniuses fall apart in the middle of a con and have to bullshit their way out. Leverage Inc has one brain cell and Sophie has it 95% of the time.
John, I have sentiments that I– that I often say to myself, and I don’t say them out loud to you, and I’d like you to hear them. Well, there are people around, Moira, so depending on what it is you’re planning on saying…
Is this supposed to be ironic or did y'all forget the part where the CIS droids walk through the shield like it’s nothing and start mowing the Gungans down??
you might feel it’s weird Jonathan’s still not getting what Dracula is after seeing him climb the wall like spiderman, but some old dude did the exact same thing in Sherlock Holmes and the “obvious” answer there was “hopped up on illegal czech monkey steroids” so it really was anyone’s guess back then
tags are reminding me it wasn’t illegal czech monkey steroids, but illegal czech monkey viagra which he was taking so he could fuck better
why do i get so horny when i get high lmao… im so worried im gonna just slide into my mans lap n start unzippin his pants right there in the living room the next time we get high together
The CDs music fills the air as you take him apart. Hands on his neck, lips wandering his body, drugs and liquor fogging your heads as you fumble in the dark of the back of the van. Moans fill the silence the pauses in his songs leave behind. Even now, he sounds as beautiful as he does when he performs.
This is everything you never wanted to do with your life.
Both the devices which I ordinarily use to self-administer my nightly regimen of cannabinoid anti-inflammatories are presently Fucked, and have been so since the day before Dad was hospitalized, leaving me full of lesions, swollen joints, and brainfog, and thereby rendering my hands too shaky to do the necessary cleaning/refilling/part replacements. NEVER put off weed vape maintenance.
Weed strains are like “smells of banana with a slightly nutty note” my brother in christ it smells like weed
IPA breweries will describe their beer as “a citrusy and bright barley flavor with a floral finish!” and the IPA tastes like tap water that sat on your dresser for so long it developed an anti-predator warding mechanism
The second and last part of my 2022 Speak your language day short story/slice of life. First part here:)
Magnus is mostly joking about leaving everything behind. He’s thought that maybe he’ll start feeling this monarch thing when he gets older, if he gets married, if he has an heir… But he’s still reluctant. Luckily, his mother is in good health so he should have time getting used to the idea. Okay, I’m putting way too much thought in this! I should be making poses for the next actual chapter
Next up: another 364 days of full English breakfast posts (or not, I’ll gladly do more posts in Finnish if you’d like!)
Transcript and translation under the cut:
JONAS Ja tuolla, Otavasta vähän ylöspäin… Se on Venus. MAGNUS Miten sä muistat noita…
MAGNUS Annapas vähän huonoja vaikutteita. JONAS Olkaapa hyvä teidän kuninkaallinen korkeutenne. MAGNUS Hmmmh.
MAGNUS Mitenhän kauas tällä purtilolla pääsisi? JONAS Miten niin?
MAGNUS Jos ei palattaiskaan kotiin. Lähettäs seikkailemaan. JONAS Ihan kiva ajatus mutta mut varmaan etsintäkuulutettaisiin kruununprinssin kaappauksesta. MAGNUS Eikä me edes päästäis kovin pitkälle. Mutsi tulis uiden hakemaan ku huomais ettei meitä näy.
MAGNUS Tai sitten me voitas upottaa tää paatti ja lavastaa kuolemamme- JONAS Ei helvetissä! MAGNUS Hei varovasti, toi saatetaan laskea maanpetokseksi. JONAS Haahaa.
MAGNUS Tää oli hyvä reissu. Pyydä sitte toistekin. JONAS Pyydetään.
Translation Note that the Finnish I used is spoken language so the translation isn’t 100% literal
Jotakin meistä = Something about us
JONAS And there, just above the Big Dipper… That’s Venus. MAGNUS How do you remember them…
MAGNUS Pass me some bad influence. JONAS Here you go your royal highness. MAGNUS Hmmmh.
MAGNUS I wonder how far this boat could sail. JONAS How so?
MAGNUS What if we don’t return home. Let’s go on an adventure instead. JONAS Nice idea but I’d probably be wanted for abducting the crown prince. MAGNUS And we wouldn’t get that far. Mom would come after us swimming as soon as she noticed we haven’t arrived.
MAGNUS Or we could sink this ship and stage our deaths— JONAS No way in hell! MAGNUS Hey careful, that might count as treason. JONAS Haha.
MAGNUS It was good trip. You should ask me again. JONAS I will.
WARNINGS: Discussions of addiction/forced drugging, BBU/BBU-adjacent and all that comes with that, issues with food
Jaime is noticeably distant the next morning. From the moment he is brought into the clinic, he has taken to his tasks in complete silence, the walls behind his averted eyes slammed shut.
So, maybe Sebastian isn’t the only one who’s been thinking about Smith’s little revelation at the end of yesterday’s shift.
Sebastian goes through about twenty different—increasingly disastrous—iterations of a conversation in his head as the morning goes on, trying to determine if bringing it up again will clear the air between them or only serve to push Jaime further into his… embarrassment or shame or whatever it is that has made him retreat.
Or maybe Jaime’s mood has nothing to do with him at all. Maybe Sebastian isn’t the center of the fucking universe, and maybe, just maybe, there are bigger fish to fry when your whole entire world is condensed to the confines of this god-awful place.
So he tries to ignore it for a little while. Give him some space.
Tucker smiles like he’d expected Cass to say as much, then holds the blindfold out even further, expecting him to put it on all the same.
“Let’s not do this today, hmm? They’ll be here in ten minutes”
“And you think BDSM chic is a look they’ll be into when they arrive?”
“They requested client confidentiality”
“Client confi… I’m the one doing the fucking job”
“No you’re not. I’m doing the job,” Tucker says, impassive “I’m the one they hired, and I’m the one they’ll pay. You’re just the tool I choose to implement to get the job done”
Cass seethes, silent and still against the wall. His eyes trace the cornices of the ceiling until he finds a crack in the plaster, stretching like a lightening bolt to the horrendous brown light cover.
They were in some crappy motel in the middle of nowhere. Not exactly a pay by the hour joint but definitely a nobody will ask you what’s in the suspicious duffel bag sort of place. The sort of place you can give any old name and the clerk won’t bother checking for ID as long as you pay in advance. The sort of place Cass probably would’ve stayed if he didn’t have the Facility to bed down in.
