The year is 2030 and the Coronavirus pandemic is (hopefully) long gone, Trump is no longer president, many more animal species have gone extinct due to human activity and the UK and Commonwealth has a new monarch in King William V. But where are the Duggars?
Jim Bob and Michelle - Have left the TTH after deciding to give it to Joe and Kendra because of their ever expanding family. Enjoying the quieter life after a few eventful years with more scandals (this time involving fraud). Michelle is still joyfully available and Jim Bob is still humping her on golf courses. Still hoping the Lord blesses them with another kid but this never happens and Michelle never gets over it.
Pest and Anna - Pest is still cheating on Anna, he could even be in jail after another child molestation scandal. His liver is on it’s last legs due to the amount of alcohol he consumes but he refuses to see a doctor because Jesus will decide his fate. Mackenzie is married and pregnant with her second child, in fact she recently had a photoshoot with her mother (who is expecting her final child, M11). Michael and Marcus are courting fundie girls. At least one of the M’s will eventually break away from fundamentalism.
Jana - Her wedding failed to save Counting On but she is happily married after finding Mr. Right (Lawson Bates after Jim Bob begged him to help save their show). She has 3 kids and is enjoying running her homeware business.
John and Abbie - Total of four children and are done having kids, now enjoying watching them grow up and travelling the world when Abbie isn’t at work. Still madly in love
Jill and Derick - Still happily married, in fact they renewed their vows on their 10th wedding anniversary. They have added to their family in the form of daughter Selah but chose to adopt her, rather than risk Jill’s life again. They have continued to become more worldly and Derick has finally apologized to Jazz. Speaking of Derick, after graduating law school he managed to get every penny they were owned from Jim Bob. The much anticipated tell-all book has been released and more people are now more understanding of Jill, who is now a proper midwife. 15 year old Israel is enjoying school and well on his way to becoming Pistol Pete.
Jessa and Ben - Jessa has either had a life-saving emergency hysterectomy after one too many high risk home births during the birth of the first GrandDuggar twins. She has sired a total of 7 kids and is finally in therapy after admitting she is depressed. Jim Bob gave her a new house when she announced her fifth pregnancy. Jessa has begun to distance herself from her parents after finally realizing what a toxic upbringing she had and grown closer to Jill in the process. Spurgeon hates his name and now goes by his middle name, Elliot. Ben is a youth pastor.
Or
Jessa bled to death after one home birth too far (seriously, please be careful Jessa) and Ben has now been left to raise her grieving children. Most of the Duggars now have hospital births because of this (all except Anna because.. she’s Anna)
Jinger and Jeremy - Left Los Angeles a few years ago but still in Cali, Jeremy is still a pastor and they are semi famous in their local area thanks to Jinger’s blog and their family Youtube channel. Jinger enjoys the occasional alcoholic drink. Their daughters are all now in private Christian schools and they have admitted defeat in trying for a son and are happy with their five daughters.
JoKen- 11 kids (I’m convinced he will have twins at some point), still birthing for Jesus. Now living in the TTH. Kendra is pregnant with JoKen #12 and continues to wonder where all these kids come from. Still a very boring couple but happy.
Josiah and Lauren - Divorced with 5 kids. Lauren now a successful Mommy blogger, but can’t be bothered with homeschooling so her kids attend a private Christian school paid for by her parents or are educated at the TTH. Josiah is a good father and shares parental responsibilities.
Joy and Austin - 4 kids (3 boys and Evelyn), now running Fort Rock, their homeschooled kids are enjoying the freedom of the great outdoors. Joy is now free to wear pants and is enjoying life.
Jedidiah - His political career failed to launch and he decided to cut his losses, settle down and start a family with hi wife. If he decided to go back into politics later in life he will have ¾ kids max to maintain a good image but if not they will have a larger one.
Jeremiah - Got married just before the scandal and now has a few kids. Still close to his twin brother.
Jason - Works in construction with James. Married with a kid but stays out of the limelight.
James- Married to Lauren Caldwell, who is birthing for Jesus like Kendra and they currently have 6 kids. Pastor Caldwell has kept a tight hold over them. Lauren is less giggly and more tolerable than her sister.
Justin - Married Claire in early 2022, living near her family in Texas. They decided not to start a family right away and have 3 kids
Jackson - Jackson who? His parents forgot he existed and have no clue where he is but he quietly slipped out of the house during the scandal and moved to another state because he didn’t want to get involved. Now single and enjoying the bachelor life.
Johannah- Married off the moment she turned 18. Now has 2 kids and expecting a third.
Jennifer - Jill helped her escape the TTH 5 years ago and got her into therapy. After a short while living with Jill way, Jenni is now away from the public spotlight and enjoying a quiet life. She is never heard from again.
Jordyn - Escaped the TTH and ran to Jill after a failed arranged courtship and has been through therapy due to her difficult early years. Has a fairly worldly life.
Josie - Michelle is still grieving after Josie left the house and got married. She is still paying the price for her premature birth but is now getting good healthcare
All four Seewald babies as newborns! At this point they’re still too squishy to me to *really* see resemblances, but after watching the birth vlog, I think Spurgeon and Ivy look alike and Henry and Fern look alike.
The jurors are back! This attorney wants to remind everyone that deliberations sometimes take a while, as in a few days. It’s tempting to read into the timing of a verdict (at least for me) but it really doesn’t mean anything. But I would wager it’s likely they will reach a verdict today—which actually isn’t a long time. It just feels long because we’re all waiting with baited breath!
Not all of them are abstaining, of course. Jessa, Jill, Jana, Jinger, Jed and Jer still seem pretty active. Joy, Claire, Justin, and Abbie seem to post once in a while, though less than before. It’s Lauren and Kendra (well, and Anna) that seem to have gone dark.
I wonder if this absence is permanent or if Kendra, Lauren, and Anna are just biding their time until Josh is sentenced. I’m especially curious since I think Lauren and Kendra are both either pregnant or recently postpartum.
Hearing their family updates is interesting from a data point of view, but it would probably be better for their families if they lived more private lives. Honestly, less attention might also mean they (particularly Kendra) feel pressure to have literally as many children as possible.
It looks like Jana, JimBob, James, Abbie, JD, Gracie, Jer and Hannah all went to CA for the Lawson/Tiffan Bates wedding! And I think that‘s Laura deMaisie in the background talking to Evan Stewart? So she was there as well!
massive shoutout to jessa for posting this floor plan of their new house in her latest youtube video
I gotta say I’m still confused by this house.. they’re putting almost all their savings and so much time and effort into a house they’ll have outgrown by the next child basically? And even now, there’s one room with twin beds, but then there’s a room with a double that I assume would be a guest bedroom, but where’s the second children’s room? or are they gonna have two bunk beds in that one room.. It’s just such a weird choice if you literally get to choose how to set up that house.
So I was adding zodiac signs into my spreadsheet because I was bored and I realized there’s a giant divide between the older Duggar kids, who are mostly earth or water signs, a lot of capricorns and scorpios in there, and poor jinger as the only fire sign, and ZERO air signs, and then the younger 5, the youngest three are all fire, and Jackson and Hannie are the only air signs in the family. No wonder they always got along so well!
Also these are the spouses signs, also zero air signs (free spirits are just not the Duggar style), mostly they’re evenly matched and work well according to their signs, but obviously keep in mind there’s the whole rest of the horoscope AND it’s also mostly just a fun way to analyze character and bullshit otherwise, so there’s that. But to the Duggars etc it’s probably like, the devil’s work, so let’s go ahead with it. Jeremy and Jinger are actually not a great match as sag/virgo, also joe and kendra as cap/leo, same with Jed and Katey, that’s an interesting dynamic.. Claire and Justin, Jill and Derick and Lauren and Josiah are great matches actually.
And last but not least here’s the second generation:
Sometimes I forget how many cousins there are, but seeing them like this just.. wow. And it’s truly only the beginning. I don’t actually expect any of the 2nd generation to end up with even close to 19, but I can see a bunch of them with ~10. Anyway it really makes me appreciate how Abbie and Lauren are not pregnant again yet, Go Team normal pacing! (Also I just realized I put in Evy Mae’s birth date as the same as Evy Jo, whoops, she’s 1 already obviously)
Who was the fundie blog that started with the spreadsheet when wikipedia took down the list? I cannot for the life of me find it again although I feel like I used to see the blog all the time, like to the point where it came up in my recommended when I’d idly type in some letters in my browser but it’s not @spurgie-cousin or @felicity-fundie or @precious-and-neat-fundies and those are the ones now that come up.. does anyone remember? Because I would like to thank them for their work (really such a lifesaver) and also tell them that it’s gotten out of hand with the one I did based on that one.. anyway these are just a couple of screenshots, I may have gone a bit overboard. I’ll add the rest later..
So… looking at my spreadsheet with all the new data put in, it doesn’t look like any of the Bates other than potentially Carlin will be having babies anytime soon So I guess we’ll have to wait for the newlyweds Esther & Katie next year.
It’s a little different for the Duggars. Abbie, Lauren, Joy, Katey or Claire could be pregnant right now even! And we still have two more Duggar babies coming this year.
OH ALSO Btw I added the number of kids in the families of the in-laws to the best of my knowledge, which I think is pretty interesting.
Same for the Bates..
And I color coded the parents to see how spread out they are
For a break in our depressing regular scheduled fundie content, let‘s make a stupid fun post about which fundie couples, in my opinion, reached, settled, or are evenly matched. Note that this is based not just on looks but on personalities and general kind of.. whether they have stuff figured out, or not. So it‘s definitely also about looks, and while I don‘t condone judging people‘s looks or making fun of people for how they look, this is just a dumb post to have fun with and not meant to be taken seriously.
JD/Abbie - He reached and he knows it
Jill/Derick - He reached, but not by that much, they seem quite evenly matched now
Ben/Jessa - He reached and she saw the opportunity and took it. I think they work quite well together now actually
Jinger/Jeremy - Honestly, she reached and then she settled
Joe/Kendra - Equally matched
Josiah/Lauren - Equally matched, kinda make a good pairing now but were not ready to get married/didn‘t know each other that well I think
Joy/Austin - Equally matched, definitely had the major hots for each other and are pretty equal in their interests etc.
Jed/Katey - He reached, I think she was majorly influenced by her dad and convinced herself she was in love..
Justin/Claire - Eh, equal?
Zach/Whitney - He reached, equally matched now
Michael/Brandon - Equally matched
Erin/Chad - Equally matched
Alyssa/John - Equally matched, although he was very lucky she was ready to get out of that house
It’s funny that seeing Joy holding a game controller made me go “this is so weird!”
Almost all of the times I’m holding a controller these days, I’m just using it to turn on Netflix.
But I’m really enjoying imagining Joy playing Assassin’s Creed so let’s go with that instead.
Even trying to get to Netflix she’s probably struggling which explains the body language. Man I really miss this joy. I feel like she’s becoming more “chin-up” lately
I think in the story her and Evan were playing some soccer game and Joy said something about trying to figure out how it works or how soccer works or something.. It‘s super weird to see her with a controller but at the same time, I feel like Joy would be into it!
