Everybody knows / everybody knows / you only live a day / but it’s brilliant anyway

Diiv / Ballad of Big Nothing (Elliott Smith)

midsommar (2019, ari aster) // taxi driver (1976, martin scorsese) // charles bukowski, source unknown // donnie darko (2001, richard kelly) // “litany in which certain things are crossed out” from crush by richard siken // little women (2019, greta gerwig) // alameda by elliott smith // book of hours: love poems to god, written by rainer maria rilke // mr robot (2015-2019, sam esmail) // “come to me, i am beautiful” by ioanna tsatsou // last night i dreamt that somebody loved me by the smiths // “visitor” by bryan washington // twin peaks: fire walk with me (1992, david lynch) // no choir by florence + the machine // hotel room (1931) & looking out (1950) & automat (1927) & morning sun (1952), painted by edward hopper // nobody by mitski // “god is burning”, from the undressing by li-young lee // in the shadow of the american dream, written by david wojnarowicz // two days, one night (2014, luc & jean-pierre dardenne) // a little life, written by hanya yanagihara // 500 days of summer (2009, mark webb) // wrong train by the psychedelic furs // the haunting of hill house (2018, mike flanagan) // demi moore by phoebe bridgers // september 24 (2010) + witch trials (2018) + every door (2018) + percy (2018), painted by philip geiger // the notebooks of malte laurids brigge, written by rainer maria rilke // the diaries of franz kafka, written by franz kafka // a little larger than the entire universe, written by fernando pessoa // one reflection (1998) + comfort mound (1999) + slide (2000) + double single (1998), painted by clive smith

lover

kiss me one more time, i promise i won’t urge you to betray yourself. it tastes better when you’re sad doesn’t it? don’t throw me away, i can help you, what i say goes and you know that. no one will care for you as i do. kiss me one more time, i promise i won’t urge you to betray yourself. you know you feel safer with me. dance at a party, feel weightless and timeless, tonight you are not a person, lend your mind to me. i’ll make you another drink. kiss me one more time, i promise i won’t urge you to betray yourself. don’t you feel better knowing you don’t have a body? tell them you don’t love them, you know nothing matters. wake up! i know that you want me. we both know the past but this time will be different, i’ll take the pain away. kiss me one more time, i promise i won’t urge you to betray yourself. stay in bed with me, those people don’t care about you. lets die together. kiss me several more times, i promise i won’t urge you to betray yourself. then why did i wake up in the hospital again?

the feminine urge to have a depression diagnosis and an unhealthy attachment to fleabag

“the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. you are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. you are your own voyeur.” by margaret atwood

“i’m not a religious person but i do sometimes think god made you for me” from normal people

the kind of chill set deep within your bones

Elliott Smith,Either/Or (Expanded). Disc oneandtwo.