#emotionalintelligence

Some false beliefs are born out of our own negative experiences. We come to random conclusions like, “that food was terrible, I’m never eating at that restaurant again.” We believe, in some way, that all of the food is bad or all of the servers are rude and we tell everyone not to go there and never step foot in the building again.
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Or maybe we say, “relationships are scary and there’s no one out there who will understand me anyways,” and we proceed to isolate our self and avoid emotional intimacy.
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Many of our false beliefs are actually not our own, though. We adopt them from the role models we were exposed to as children. Namely, our parents, but it could be many other people too.
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My dad was always a very serious traveller. He had a schedule and a list of activities that he would, at the expense of others, do his very best to abide by. The itinerary was his way of trying to maximize “fun,” maybe to make the trip worth it. I don’t know. We did have fun… but it usually came at a price.
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My mother travelled cheap. She wanted to maximize a trip by doing the most things for the least amount of money. All hail the budget!
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So as I plan my trip across the country, I’m thinking of ways to have fun and save money… and my thoughts digress into ideas that strangely resemble these attitudes and beliefs that don’t belong to me, but to my parents.
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I’ve found a way to beat it. When ever I’m faced with false beliefs, I find the simplest way to blast them is to do exactly that thing that my false beliefs tell me not to do.
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I recognize the fear, the pattern, identify the source — and then rebel.
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I had an idea about our trip. My brain said, “that doesn’t make sense. What about money. What about time. It’s not logical or rational. What will people think? You don’t have to do that.”
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Yeah, I’m gonna do that thing. I can’t tell you what it is yet. But it’s obviously related to the trip itinerary.
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Stay tuned ✌
Ever a Rebel
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#healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #boundaries #recovery #falsebeliefs #beliefsystems
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When they
Cherish you
and you sigh with relief
as if you’d been holding your breath
for your whole life.
It’s not that
you never deserved to be honoured
and held.
It’s not that you weren’t.
But
in the right way
at the right time
when you are ready to receive it…
when cherish means
where you are
how you are
As you are.
Sigh
because it’s real
Sigh
because a shallow breath is one of
subdued panic
Sigh
because you’re too weary to resist it
Sigh
because it’s safe.
And maybe you have been
Holding your breath
for your whole life
the unconscious fibres of your body
Braced.
Sometimes for every reason
sometimes for none.
Sigh
It’s been a long time
too long to turn away from love now.
Sigh
Let your body melt
Sigh
settle in
This is where you should have always been
and this is where you can stay.
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#healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #recovery #consciousmama #consciousparent #relationships #relationshipgoals #spiritualawakening #awakening #empath #selfcompassion #divinepartnership #truelove #gentlelove #lovepoem #lovenotes (at Lethbridge, Alberta)
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Is this what I’ve been testing the boundaries of?
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Scraping the surface of a world that is *not* a trauma world. The internal Death Mother lives on and tries to drag me back down. It’s working.
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Even if I am not quite convinced of a world that doesn’t require trauma-responses as a navigation system, where hypervigilance is unnecessary, I am still willing to believe that it might be there, waiting for me.
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Not waiting passively. Actively waiting. Life beckons us and only we get to decide whether we will answer, not whether we are worthy.
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Like all parallel realities, I can choose which timeline I will enter into. Trauma-World or Supportive Universe.
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The Death Mother says that even if the Supportive Universe exists, I am not worthy of it.
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The great hoax of the mind is that worthiness isn’t earned, it is granted the moment we show up. If you show up, you are already worthy.
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Trauma-World is terrifying. I don’t want to live here anymore.
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#healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #recovery #consciousmama #consciousparent #relationships #relationshipgoals #spiritualawakening #awakening #empath #selfcompassion #traumaworld #deathmother (at Ottawa, Ontario)
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On this enlightening Aquarius full moon — free yourself.
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Even if they are lying
Even if they’ve twisted the story
Even if there were extenuating circumstances
Even if it’s cost you other relationships
Even if they were wrong
Even if you did your best
Even if you’ve already apologized
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Let them have their story
Let them barter for pity
Let them seduce new lovers
Let them fool their selves
Let them lie
Let them live in their skewed reality
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Let them & Let it Go.
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When we allow them this freely — and focus on rebuilding our lives FORWARD — we make them utterly and completely irrelevant.
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#healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #recovery #consciousmama #consciousparent #relationships #relationshipgoals #spiritualawakening #awakening #empath #selfcompassion #letgo #moveon #fullmoon (at Alsask, Saskatchewan)
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The remedy is to keep on creating
for inspiration owes me
nothing.
Art is the product of
my duty to myself
my obligation to serve.
There isn’t any success or failure here
Art is the path on which I walk
Art is the footprints I leave behind
Art is the discipline to always return.
Inspiration says,
Do you want to play again?
Art is the answer, which is always
Yes.
Art is not my baby
to follow, feed, and protect.
I don’t hold that power
No one does.
I am the creator
I am the created.
I do not give birth to art
It gives birth to me.
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#healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #empath #selfcompassion #creativity #poem #poetry #creative #bigmagic #inspiration #art #artist (at Drumheller, Alberta)
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“Self Forgiveness: conceding that you could not possibly have known what you did not know before you finally knew it.” — @elizabeth_gilbert_writer
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#selfforgiveness #knowing #innerpeace #innerguidance #forgiveness #healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #recovery #consciousmama #consciousparent #relationships #relationshipgoals #awakening #empath #selfcompassion (at Calgary, Alberta)
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Day 1-2: Camping in the Livingstone PLUZ. This is a secret spot — turn right after the bridge type deal — there’s a staircase and a steep driveway down to the spot. It’s in the elbow of a creek nestled in a stand of trees surrounded by forest. All the other “good spots” are up the hill, so you’re only likely to see people if they’re walking up the creek to fly fish.
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We decided to stay two nights so we could have a full 24 hours of “nothing to do, no where to be.” Something that’s been unheard of in our world for months on months.
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God, we have worked so hard for all of this. Months on months of working too many hours while still trying to maintain a “lifestyle” and save up money.
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Right now it’s 6pm and we’ve only been driving for a few hours today. When me and T van-camped England I just drove when I felt like it and stopped when I didn’t. Sometimes we drove all night and sometimes we drove just for a few hours.
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For now, we are going to keep on going. It’s the long weekend in Canada so camp sites might be full anyways ‍♀️‍♀️
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#roadtriplife #crosscanada #exploreBC #healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #recovery #consciousmama #consciousparent #relationships #relationshipgoals #spiritualawakening #awakening #empath #selfcompassion (at British Columbia)
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when we moved in together
we bought a few little things
a soap dispenser
shower curtain and caddy
some drapes for the bedroom
all of it replaceable
except
it reminds me of home, now
because home is with him.
the shower curtain
is a little slice of heaven
from our first home
so I suppose
these little things
can come, too.
wish turns to prayer
let everything leave me
and let me leave everything
except those things that remind me
how I loved myself
and how we loved each other.
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#poetry #writing #spilledink #newpath #journeybound #healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #recovery #consciousmama #consciousparent #relationships #relationshipgoals #spiritualawakening #awakening #empath #selfcompassion (at Table Mountain (berg i Kanada, Alberta))
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The purging started
with a humble wish
please
let me leave this entire life behind
and the life before that
and the life before that
and the life before that.
Can this be the real beginning?
Can I, me, can she
start here.
I go through the boxes
and I go through the drawers
and it all feels so heavy
seeped in guilt and memory
and I feel as though
if I could just get rid of
all of it
maybe my heart would feel whole again.
how can an object
of such inconsequential appearance
rip my guts out?
how does a bit of metal
pendants on chains
make me cry myself to sleep?
If I can just get rid of all of it
I can be new.
And yet, there’s that little vase
and I remember how much I loved myself when I bought it.
Little twelve year old me
thought enough of me
thought enough of an artist
my dad said
why?
with that typical look
of superior knowledge.
she shrugged
I shrugged
I brought it home
and loved it
so, maybe the vase can come with me.
wish became prayer
let everything leave me
and let me leave everything
except those things that remind me
of how I loved myself.
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#poetry #writing #leaving #newpath #healing #emotionalintelligence #consciousliving #consciousness #selfaware #personalgrowth #motherwound #growthmindset #intuition #lightwork #spirituality #emotionalabuse #boundaries #recovery #consciousmama #consciousparent #relationships #relationshipgoals #spiritualawakening #awakening #empath #selfcompassion (at Lethbridge, Alberta)
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Safe passage for the emissaries of love

In a moment of activation, the visitors arrive: the shame, the fear, the sadness, the rage, the confusion, the unworthiness. It can feel as if they are coming from outside, as an obstacle on your path. This is the old narrative of a tender, vulnerable little one, who was unable to locate a consistent source of mirroring and empathic attunement.

But a new narrative is awaiting your presence, a new way of reorganizing the circuity and the pathways within you. These ones are arising from the inside, from within the secret places of your body, and are longing to tell an important story. They are carrying vital information for your journey and without them the path will be difficult.

While their invitation is radical and may never be understood by the conventional world, they are calling you to union, into intimacy with your vulnerability in all its forms. If you do not provide passage for these special emissaries, something important may be lost, and love will miss an opportunity to seed its vision here.

The angry one, the sad one, the hurt one, the scared one, and the unworthy one… with eyes wide open, these are arising now as portals into a new world. One of outrageous creativity, intimacy, aliveness, and connection – filled with energy and information for the way ahead.

As you reorganize your relationship with these ones, you will sense a substance which is their carrier. It is a non-ordinary substance, emerging from between the worlds, which is contained in an inner chamber inside you. It is the substance of love, unfolding in ever creative and more integrated ways, longing to reach this place and flood it with its qualities.

From….
A Healing Space… reflections on love and the intimacy of immediate experience

Vincent Van Gogh was born on March 30th, he was posthumously deemed to have Bipolar Disorder, thus today is World Bipolar Day. I didn’t know World Bipolar Day was a thing until I heard about it while watching the news a couple of mornings ago.

But now that I know, I feel like I have to say SOMETHING in the name of walking the walk. I can’t tell everyone else to f*** the stigma and then let the stigma scare me.

This is one of my wounds into wisdom situations

Truthfully I am not completely aware of what people are unaware of.

I’ll share the 3 top things that come to mind and maybe you will learn something new, and maybe you won’t.

1. Bipolar disorder and multiple personalities are not the same thing.

2. When you learn to manage it like a boss, you’ll find the upsides of the symptoms. Experiencing such a uniquely intense and broad range of emotion can create a whole new understanding of the capabilities of the mind, and a whole new appreciation for human behavior and connection.

3. Full on mania is a lot like your brain randomly deciding to take a boat load of cocaine. Zero warning. You have to live regular life in that state of mind. No one is anywhere near your level. Come down is included.

xoxo
J

#personaldevelopment #growth #emotionalintelligence #crusader #stigma #vangogh #bipolar #badass #success #awareness #mentalhealth #soul #riseabove #crazy #guru

I was dealing with some deep disappointment earlier this week, you know it just be like that sometimes.

Often times people think so many things about how we should process disappointment or things not working out as expected. Sometimes it’s also centered in control or one’s right to choose and be heard that has us experiencing all the feelings that come with disappointment. I sat in my feelings I cried and then I smiled.

I have so much to be in deep gratitude to my journey as a mother, artist, woman and entrepreneur.

I have been working #bts and excited about where my current projects and art is taking me. This project I wrapped up not too long ago. I love how this #digitalillustration came together it’s the painterly details I love the most. BTW Black GIRL JOY is enough to make anyone smile ❤️ #blackgirlmagic #blackgirljoy #bostonartist #artistsoninstagram #digitalart #selfreflection #emotionalintelligence
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cen72u1OD7H/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=