finally saw batman. during the scene in the iceberg lounge my dad leaned over to me and said “club penguin” and then didnt look at me for the rest of the film
Battinson meeting Superman, because if anyone needs a sunshine alien it’s him.
—
Bruce, in full Batman mode, tracks Superman down and eventually finds him on a rooftop in Metropolis. He grapples up, perches himself on an A/C unit, and stares.
Clark, new to the Superman thing, just trying to enjoy a burger and fries after helping with a house fire: Um. Hi?
Bruce:
Clark: I’ve noticed you following me? You’re from Gotham. The Batman.
Bruce: *shines a flashlight at Clark’s food*
Clark: Yeah. It’s a cheeseburger and curly fries. Did you want some or…? Do you need help? Seems like you maybe need some help.
Bruce: *shines the light in Clark’s eyes*
Clark: Do you want to, um, talk or something?
Bruce:what are you
Clark: I’m Superman! :)
Bruce:alien?
Clark: How did you—
Bruce:I am a bat.
Clark: O-kay. So do you want to be friends or…?
Bruce:…
Clark: :)
Bruce: *launches himself off the side of the building*
—
Alfred: Good morning Bruce, how was patrol?
Bruce, rewatching the conversation with Clark on his computer:i think i made a friend today Alfred
*my henchmen wheel a large glass tank containing a tiny stingray into the room*
captive hero: aww!
me: QUIET! this is the deadliest ray known to man. one milli milli milligram of poison from its sting is enough to stop a grown man’s heart in under a minute! and he answers only to me! behold your DOOM!
stingray: *nudges my hand*
me, getting down on my knees in front of the tank so i can look him in the eyes: Mortimer, please. i’m trying to be intimidating here.
It’s five am. I can’t send this to every coworker I’ve ever had right now, so you get it instead
[image description: a Venn diagram. The two circles are labeled “Excel” as in the spreadsheet program, and “incel” as in involuntary celibate. In the middle where they overlap it reads “incorrectly assuming something is a date.” /end image description]
