A/N: requests are open, this is my first fic please don’t be mean
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My boy, my boy, my boy. Don’t love me like he promised. My boy, my boy, my boy. He ain’t a man and sure as hell ain’t honest.
Y/n and Fred had been dating for almost five months and for y/n it was the most amazing thing in the world cause she was totally in love with him, she knew he was the one when he first saw him at the burrow when they were 5 and since then he has always being her crush, so five months ago at the start of the 7th year when he confessed his feeling towards y/n she couldn’t believe it, at first she thought it was some kind of prank by the way he said it.
———-
5 months ago
“Y/n i have to tell you something that is a matter of life or death”, Fred said with a grin on his pretty face, she didn’t even was paying attention to what he was saying she was just too mesmerized with his beauty, “Are you listening to me ?, Fred asked seeing that she was not paying attention he decides to go straight to the point, “I was saying that you are my crush”, Fred said with a smirk.
Y/n was astonished everything crossed her mind, “is this for real?”, she said but Fred didn’t answer so she felt right to tell him the truth about her feelings, “Fred i’ve being in love with you since we met when we were five, at first it wqs just a silky crush but we gotbolder and got into hogwarts and i realized it wasn’t just a silly crush, what im trying to say is… im in love with you Fred Weasley”, he didn’t know how to react and he just said “i love you” and hugged her.
_______
My boy’s being sus and he don’t know how to cuss. He just sounds like he’s tryna be his father (Who are you?). My boy’s an ugly crier but he’s such a pretty liar and by that I mean he said he’d “change”.
Everything happened so quick, Fred didn’t realized how fast this was going and now they’ve been dating for five months, “When are you going to tell her the truth?”, George asked Fred not realizing someone was listening, they should have been more careful and not be talking this in the common room where everyone could hear them “I don’t want to tell her, is going to break her heart she is the sweetest girl i know”,Fred said with guilt on his face, “Freddie you don’t love her, you can’t be with her just for pity”, George said annoyed almost screaming,” Yeah? Well this would never have happened if you hadn’t made me do that stupid bet, it’s all your fault”,Fred said angry.
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5 months ago
“Freddie im telling you she likes you”,George said while laying in his bed in their dorm, “No she doesn’t,we’ve been friends since forever believe me if she liked me as more than friends i would know dear brother”, Fred said calmly and confident, “well then if you are so sure about that…”, George said with a grin, “Go on..”, “Let’s make a bet, 5 sickles that she is in love with you”, “you’re on”, Fred said with confidence and he was sure that he would win the bet, after all she knew y/n for years.
Fred was walking on the halls of Hogwarts and spot y/n a few meters away, he thought it was the perfect moment to prove George that he was wrong, but when she started telling that she loved him he didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t tell her that it was all a bet and that he wasn’t in love with her, so he told y/n that he loved her too, i mean he wasn’t absolutely lying right?, he did love her but not the way she wanted to.
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Y/n wanted to surprise Freddie with a gift from hogsmeade we wanted since forever but he couldn’t afford it, so she started saving some money to give it to him, she was so excited to see his reaction that she couldn’t wait to give it to him and going as fast as she could she went to the common room, she spoted Fred right away, but she heard something that she shouldn’t have heard, “Freddie, you don’t love her, you can’t be with her just for pity”.
She just stood there frozen, astonished, broken, without even realizing she started crying and sobbing, Fred and George turn around and saw y/n standing there crying, “y/n i can explain”, fred said with guilt on his eyes, she didn’t even bother on going away from him, she couldn’t even if she wanted to, Fred tried to explain everything to her but she wasn’t listening she was just wishing that all of this was a nightmare that soon she would wake up and hug Fred and he would comfort her and tell her it was just a bad dream that everything is alright but obviously it didn’t happen, she came out of her trance as soon as she heard Fred said “im sorry but im never going to love you, not the way you want me to”, she didn’t utter a word she just left and went to her dorm.
My boy, my boy, my boy. Don’t love me like he promised. My boy, my boy, my boy. He ain’t a man and sure as hell ain’t honest.
It has been 4 months since y/n’s heart have been broken, she tried to move on, she tried to fool herself into believing she didn’t love him anymore so she started dating other guys but nothing ever lasted, until she started dating Matt a slytherin guy, he treated her well, he was kind, sweet and always gave her flowers, he loved her and she loved him back but she knew she would never be able to love someone the way she loved Freddie.
Fred stood in the hall watching how Matt gave yellow flowers to y/n, her favourite flowers, everytime Fred smell those flowers it reminds him of her, her scent, her laugh and her beauty, he then realized he did loved her as more than friends, but know it was too late because she was happy with someone else and he wouldn’t ruin that for her, he fucked up and there was nothing that he could do about it, it’s not like he could go back in time and fix it all… or can he?.
You want me to be yours well then you gotta be mine. And if you want a good girl, then goodbye. You want me to be yours well then you gotta be mine. And if you want a good girl, then goodbye.
Hi everyone!! This is for the lovely @heloisedaphnebrightmore ‘s 1k celebration! Congrats!! you totally deserve it! I really like this fic and i hope you all like it as well!
Summary: Fred Weasley has been completely insufferable and mean since third year. Unfortunately the reader still feels for him even after he takes his teasing too far
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: Angst with a happy end
You didn’t mean to blow up on him like that. You didn’t mean to be blinded by unadulterated rage and let those words leave your lips. But if you were being honest with yourself, he thoroughly deserved it. After years and years of letting his words carve chinks into your armor, you were through. You simply couldn’t handle it anymore.
You had sat in the common room in your favorite skirt, hands folded neatly in your lap. You kept reaching up to smooth your hair, attempting to look your best. Cormac was supposed to meet you in the common room at noon. He was supposed to escort you to Hogsmeade where you’d eat at Madame Pudifoot’s. It was supposed to be romantic.
You were excited; it was your first date after all. You didn’t quite know if you fancied Cormac. He was brash and occasionally rude, but the feeling of being wanted to outweigh his flaws. It was rare that a boy would give you attention, so when Cormac had suavely asked you out, you couldn’t help but become giddy.
Angelina and Katie had helped you pick out an outfit. It was simple- a black skirt and a simple sweater- but you felt pretty nonetheless.
So you sat and waited. And waited. And waited. For hours you sat on the same sofa in the same position, slowly letting your resolve disappear.
You didn’t know what you had expected. Cormac was known to be an arsehole. Yet, the sting of rejection still affected you, causing you to push back tears.
Around three in the afternoon, Katie and Angelina stepped through the portrait hole. They were laughing about something, smiling wide. But when they caught sight of you, their smiles dropped.
warning/s;angst to fluff, mentions of pregnancy and post partum depression
word count;4.4k
summary;fred leaves you on the day you were supposed to tell him that you were pregnant with his child. three years later you see him again, and secrets are unearthed.
a/n;feedback is very, very welcome! i just love reading them aaa this was such a weird thing to write bc i wanted it angst but it’s not angsty enough so watch out for more angst deuces
“i don’t understand, freddie. why are you—”
“[y/n]! that’s enough!” your boyfriend furrowed his brows, blowing out an exasperated breath that had you feeling offended. he ran a hand through his already unkempt hair before meeting your eyes. “don’t you getit? i’m done. we’re done. we’re through.”
there was no emotion behind his words. no meaning. nothing that told you of the two years you’ve spent together. and to be perfectly honest, even if you wouldn’t admit it to yourself, you expected this. deep down you knew he’d fallen out of love somewhere along the way.
warning/s;angst to fluff, mentions of pregnancy and post partum depression
word count;4.4k
summary;fred leaves you on the day you were supposed to tell him that you were pregnant with his child. three years later you see him again, and secrets are unearthed.
a/n;feedback is very, very welcome! i just love reading them aaa this was such a weird thing to write bc i wanted it angst but it’s not angsty enough so watch out for more angst deuces
“i don’t understand, freddie. why are you—”
“[y/n]! that’s enough!” your boyfriend furrowed his brows, blowing out an exasperated breath that had you feeling offended. he ran a hand through his already unkempt hair before meeting your eyes. “don’t you getit? i’m done. we’re done. we’re through.”
there was no emotion behind his words. no meaning. nothing that told you of the two years you’ve spent together. and to be perfectly honest, even if you wouldn’t admit it to yourself, you expected this. deep down you knew he’d fallen out of love somewhere along the way.
Him and her. Together again as they always were. Fuck, that hurt. What the hell was that? It was the castle, the lesser known weapon of the war. Spraying its concrete and glass over the bodies of the ones fighting and the ones lost. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven Weasleys, good. One her and one him. Everything was not okay. He’s still here, everything is okay. Bombarda. White sparks flew from his wand creating a barrier between her and bombarda, wordlessly. Remember to thank him when this is all over. Man, I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.
From the wand of the death eater.
Confringo.
From him and her.
The wall was crumbling. Seven Weasleys. The wall is coming down. They lock eyes. Him. He was too far, but that didn’t halt the yelling and running. Her. What would come of this war if he didn’t get to her? The only place he knew in that moment of time was her eyes. Slow motion. Looking over her shoulder. Freddie, freddie. He knew her eyes, and the last whisper of life that shot from her scream. Seven Weasleys still standing. One him, and all that was left of her. Dust plumed. Dust taunted. Dust gave way. There she was, large bricks covering her.
From the mind of him.
No.She looked like something out of a movie. Pale, bleeding, dying. Dead. He dragged her from the rubble. The fighting stopped. The ghost of what happened danced around him. Her eyebrows taught, lips drooping. Please. The eyes he just knew. Lifeless.
From his lips.
“Wake up!” Strained cries from him. “Please?” He was asking her.
I watched from the doorway as Fred packed his things into a suitcase, throwing me angry glares every now and then. Once he was done, he stood and faced me.
“I never wanted to give up.” He snapped.
“Don’t you dare.” I growled.
“You forced me out, as you do everyone who could possibly get close to you.” Fred accused.
“I gave you the very best of me and it wasn’t enough.” I said.
He went to speak but quickly shut his mouth. There was nothing to say, I had already said it.
I giggled and gently nudged his shoulder. “Fine, okay.” I said as I rummaged through my trunk for a black school skirt. “This good enough?”
“I’m gonna look so fit.” He hummed as he held the fabric against him. “Can George have one too?”
I laughed again and handed over another skirt. “Can I ask why?”
Fred folded them neatly. “Well, we’ve seen lately how…boys look at girls for simply wearing something they feel comfortable in. We don’t really like how over sexualised skirts are, so we’re going to wear them.” 
I nodded. “That’s very nice of you, fight the gender norm.”
He raised his fist. “Fuck yeah.”
I snorted. “Get out.”
I attempted to catch the twins that morning but they had slipped out to breakfast before me. Throughout the day I heard whispered and laughs of the boys in skirts, and everyone guessed they were mine the twins were wearing.
Finally, walking down the hall, I saw Fred. “Hey sexy.” I winked as I approached him.
“It’s backfired so bad.” He whined as he tugged me into his chest.
“How?” I giggled.
“Instead of normalising skirts, I’ve just been sexually harassed all day.” I burst out laughing, doubling over. “Do you know how many people have smacked my ass today?”
“Stop, I can’t breath!” I laughed harder.
A smirk graced Fred’s face. “I’m glad someone finds it funny.”
I peered up at him with a soft smile. “I’m very sorry you’ve experienced how women are treated.”
“It’s awful.” He grumbled back.
“I need to get to Potions,” my hand came down to smack against his backside. “Stay sexy, sweet-cheeks.”
“Freddie I don’t think this is a good idea.” I warily said as I tugged his coat tighter around my body.
“It’ll be fine.” He smiled as we approached the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
I looked to my left and saw Hagrids place, the chimney smoking and the soft glow of the lights the only hint of life.
“Wait wait,” I quickly grabbed his hand.
Fred groaned a little. “What?”
“Do you have your wand?”
“Yes.”
“And you know exactly where we’re going?”
“Vaguely.”
“Fred.” I sternly snapped.
He playfully laughed and nodded. “Yes I know exactly where we’re going.”
I breathed a sigh. “We won’t get in trouble?” I asked.
“Only if we’re caught, now come on.” He tightly grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him.
The atmosphere was thick, the dark night only adding to my fear. The fog was low as we weaved our way through the trees. I seemed to jump at every possible noise which only added to Fred’s glee.
Half an hour in, we hadn’t reached where we needed to be and I began to eye Fred suspiciously. “Fred…”
“Yeah?” He took a left turn.
I bent down and picked up a glove I’d dropped as a test. “We’re fucking lost.” I snapped.
“What? No we’re not.” He turned to face me.
“I dropped this glove ten minutes ago because I knew we we’re going in circles.” I said as I threw the glove at him.
“Fine,” he huffed. “I momentarily don’t know exactly where to go, but it’s fine.”
“How’s it fine!” I screeched. “We’re in the Forbidden Forest, at night, alone!”
“Will you calm down.” He hissed. “It’s fine.”
I grumbled incoherently but followed behind closely. Another half an hour passed before Fred turned to me with a guilty look on his face.
“What.” I cocked a brow.
“We’re lost.”
“No shit.”
“What do we do?” He asked.
“Don’t ask me! I didn’t even want to come here.” I worriedly exclaimed.
“I don’t know what to do.” It was an odd thing to see usually calm Fred panicked and scared. “I don’t even know where the tree line is.”
“Don’t scare me!” I said. “Maybe we should try and retrace our steps.”
“But what if we just walk further into the forest?” He said.
“I don’t know Fred!” I yelled.
Suddenly, a snap echoed from behind me and I jumped into Fred’s arms, wrapping each other safely together.
“What was that?” He whispered.
“Shh!” I hushed as we both stared into the darkness.
Another snap, a soft padding of feet, then silence. “I’ve got my wand.” Fred muttered.
“Get it out then.” I whispered back.
Slowly he drew his wand and pointed it into the darkness. “Whoever’s out there, I’ve got a wand!” He yelled.
I hit his chest. “Shut up, now they know we’re here!”
“Oh fuck…” he winced. “Sorry.”
Silence followed as we intently listened, our grip on each other tightening by the second as fear enveloped us.
“Fred, Y/N?”
We both screamed as a voice began from behind us, Fred tripping and pulling me down with him.
“Don’t kill us!” He wailed as he buried his head into my neck.
I gazed up and saw Hagrid. “Fred-“
“Tell Georgie I love him!” He cried.
“Fred!” I yelled. “Shut up, it’s Hagrid.”
His head popped up. “Oh…hi.”
“What are you two doing out here at this time of night?” Hagrid asked.
“Yeah Fred, what are we doing?” I grumbled as we stumbled to our feet.
“Well…um…” Hagrid cocked a suspecting brow. “We’re looking for unicorn hair.”
Hagrid sighed. “You do know it’s illegal to collect unicorn hair, don’t you?”
Fred shuffled. “You only get fined…” he mumbled.
“In my defence, I wasn’t told why we were here.” I excused.
Hagrid simply sighed and turned around. “Come on you two, before you get yourselves into more trouble.”
We followed behind him, arms folded and feeling like children caught in the act of doing something naughty. “I’m cold because of you.”
“How do you think I feel? You’ve got my coat.” Fred said back as he gently nudged me with his elbow.
I softly smiled as we came out of the forest. “Off to bed immediately, you’re lucky I’m not going to report this.” Hagrid scolded as we sulked off.
I trudged ahead of Fred, a little angry at the mess he’d got us into.
“Y/N?” I ignored him. “Please don’t be mad, it’s awful when you’re angry with me.”
I whipped around. “You promised you knew where we were going!”
“In my defence, all trees look the same.” I cocked a brow and crossed my arms. “I’m sorry.”
I sighed. “It’s fine, it was kind of fun to see you cry like a little girl.”
He laughed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, leading me back to the castle. “Tell anyone and I’ll let everyone know about your little crush on Dean.”
“I’m Mrs. Claus.” I beamed as I performed a small twirl for Fred. “Looks cute, right?”
He chuckled a little. “Very…”
“I see someone didn’t take note of the Christmas jumper or costume rule.” I cocked a brow as I opened the cash register and began to mull around the quiet shop preparing for the late Christmas shoppers.
Fred rounded the counter and leant against it. “I have a rule for Christmas jumpers.” He hummed in response.
“And what would that be?” I asked as I made a list of all the things I had to do today.
“I only wear one Christmas jumper, for one day every year.” He explained. “The jumper my mum made for me, on the day we go to hers for Christmas dinner.”
I smiled. “Well…I think I’ll let you off then.”
“Thanks boss.” He winked back. “Would you be a dear and make me a coffee?”
I rolled my eyes and reluctantly agreed, trudging to the staff room. When I returned, I gave Fred his coffee and went back to my list. Scribbed at the bottom, in Fred’s hand writing, was:
14. Meet Fred in office at the end of the day x
I frowned and looked up at him, but he was busy opening the door and ushering in the small crowd that had gathered outside. The shop was immensely busy all day and I barely had time to ask Fred what the meeting was about. Once the shop was closed, shelves restocked and cash register put away, I tiredly shut off the lights and made my way to his office.
I knocked twice. “Come in!”
I yawned as I walked inside, Fred hunched over a piece of parchment writing away. I took a seat on one of the chairs in front of him and crossed my legs, playing with some bells hanging from the collar of my costume.
“Am I in trouble?” I warily asked.
“Masses of amounts.” He said back, but I saw the smirk he was trying to hide as he turned the page over and kept writing.
“Because of what?” I entertained our conversation.
“That dress of yours.” He said as he dipped his pen into a near by inkwell.
I stroked over the material. “My dress? Why?”
“You have no idea how distracting it’s been watching you bend over dressed as Mrs. Claus.” His eyes flicked up to see my reaction.
I shifted in my seat. “What?”
“Do you have any idea how…” he thought for a moment. “Innocent you look?”
My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as he peered on. “What would you have me wear?” I asked teasingly.
He closed his eyes momentarily and took a small breath. “Nothing.”
“Wouldn’t that be more distracting?” I asked quietly.
“Believe me,” he leant back in his chair. “I’d be very focused.” 
“On what?” I slowly stood and rounded the desk to stand before him.
He peered up at me and spread his legs, hand grasping mine and tugging me between them. “Seeing how loud I can make you scream my name.”
I gasped as his hand went up the skirt of my dress and brushed over my underwear. “Freddie…” I softly whined as I placed my hand on his shoulder to steady myself.
“Please let me.” He begged. “You have no idea how many nights I’ve dreamed of this.”
I small smile spread on my lips as I nodded. “Yes.” I breathed as he pushed my underwear to the side and softly dipped his fingers into the wet patch that had formed.
“Well Mrs. Claus, who made you this wet?” He teased as the tips of his fingers circled my bundle of nerves.
“You Freddie.” I whined back, hands moving to his hair and tugging.
He stood to his full height, looming over me and peering down. “Let’s see if you taste as sweet as the candy you make.” He cocked a suggestive brow.
I giggled as I was hoisted up and planted on the desk, Fred quickly spreading my thighs and standing between them. Taking my face in his hands, he sponged a long kiss to my lips which caused a small moan to escape my lips.
“Please.” I breathed as he pulled away.
He grabbed the chair from behind him and comfortably sat, peering up at me. “Your husband is only away one night a year, I need to savour what I can get.” He joked which caused another giggle to escape me.
I eased back onto the desk as he moved my legs further apart and peered at me. I bucked my hips, prompting him to move my underwear to the side and stare again. Freds breathing grew heavier as he took his time to explore my nerves with his fingers, brushing over my bud before easing the tips into my entrance.
“Freddie.” I pathetically whined again.
He let out a small, dark chuckle before moving ever closer. “Just matching it with how I thought you’d look.” He explained.
“Do I exceed expectations?” I asked.
“Oh darling, I never knew heaven was between your thighs.” Before I could utter a response he licked a bold stripe up me, causing my mouth to fall open and a pornographic moan to tumble out.
His expertly tongue circled my bundle of nerves before sucking gently on them, humming against me. Quickly, he dipped his tongue into my entrance before easing one finger in. His tongue went back to giving my nerves attention as he flexed his finger, curling before pulling out again. I bucked my hips desperately and fisted my red costume, whimpering and moaning his name repeatedly.
He pulled away as stood, smiling down at me with glistening lips. “And?” I panted, hauling myself to sit up.
“Mrs. Claus, Santa is a lucky man if he gets to taste you every night.” I couldn’t help the smile that broke on my lips.
“Who knew you had a Mrs. Claus kink?” I joked back.
“Only when it comes to you.” He winked. “Now come here, I’m not done with you yet.”
First anniversaries of this sort were always hard. Everyone seemed to want to do it their own way. Ginny with Harry, Ron with Hermione, Molly and Arthur mourning together and George and I, in my little flat in London by the fire.
We hadn’t spoken much all day, the odd cupper?here and there. Meals were eaten in silence, and we’d only broken down once or twice. The sobbing was the silent kind that truly broke your heart.
With the sun dipping below the horizon a soft orange glow lit the flat as the fire popped and crackled in the otherwise silent room. We sat close to the flames, this May a particularly cold one. I thought perhaps it was the world acknowledging that it had in fact lost its warmth when Fred departed.
“Do you regret anything?” George quietly mumbled. “I do.”
“What’s your regret?” I swirled the cold tea in the mug.
“Normal stuff, not telling him how much he meant to me, how much I’d miss him.” George listed off. “What’s yours?”
I pondered over the words never spoken that haunted me. “Before the battle, he stopped me in the hallway and tried to tell me something. I was so caught up in barricading that I told him to tell me after…I’ve always wondered what it was he so desperately wanted to tell me.”
A sad expression came over George’s face. “I know what it was.” He whispered.
“Go on.” I pushed gently.
“He was going to ask you to marry him.” George regretfully informed me.
My heart tugged a little, and I wondered if I would have payed closer attention to him during the battle having been engaged, whether I would have stopped the wall from falling and if we’d be celebrating today as a day of victory over loss.
“What would you have said?” George asked.
“I think I would have said yes.” I curled my knees to my chest and rest my cheek against them.
“If you knew how it was going to end, would you have done it anyway?”
My brows furrowed as I thought for a moment. The happy memories we made; the jokes, pranks, days twisted in bedsheets, sweltering summers lounged in bathing suits and freezing winters bundled up. The way he made me laugh, the way I made him think, the books he’d read to me on weekends and the meals I’d cook for him during the week. Buying our first house, decorating, planning, waiting for the future to bless us. The immense hope we were given.
Then I remembered where I was now. The quiet flat, the empty bed, the books carelessly thrown away in hopes of abandoning his memory. The house that was sold half done, the pictures and trinkets hidden away in boxes. The ache in my chest that never left, the hole inside me getting larger and larger, day by day. How I didn’t feel the numbness books told me, how I felt everything. Happiness I knew him, sadness I’d lost him, anger at whoever did the deed and most of all loneliness that I feared would follow me forever.
“When did you realise you didn’t love me anymore?” Fred asked from across the kitchen table.
I shrugged back lightly. “I don’t think it happened in one moment, I think I slowly fell out of love.” He nodded. “What about you?”
“Remember when you got held up in the Ministry and couldn’t call to say you were running late?” I nodded. “I didn’t worry about where you were.”
I pursed my lips. “Do you still like me?”
He smiled a little. “Of course I do, I’ve known you since I was twelve.”
I smiled back. “I still like you too.”
Fred paused for a moment, hesitating to ask the next question. “Do you think we could ever love each again?”
“Maybe, one day.” I sighed. “I loved you before, I’m sure if I tried I could again. But…I don’t want to try, and I think that says a lot.”
“I agree.” He said. “This doesn’t hurt, I feel like it’s supposed to hurt.”
“I know what you mean…in a way it feels nice, to finally say what I’ve been thinking for the past few months.” I explained.
“I didn’t mean to.” He said. “I didn’t wantto.”
“I didn’t either…” I sighed. “I thought maybe it was a phase I was going through, that I’d wake up one day and all the love I had for you would come back.”
“No Fred, you’ve started going side to side again.” I sighed as I grabbed his paintbrush from him. “Look.”
I stroked up and down the wall, looking back for a second to make sure he was looking. Fred rolled his eyes playfully and snatched the brush from me, copying my actions.
“I really don’t think it matters.” He grumbled as he dipped his brush into his small tray.
“It does because we don’t want it to streak.” I explained as I stepped beside him with the roller. “Maybe giving you a brush wasn’t the best idea.”
“I’m not twelve, I can paint a bloody wall.” He joked, nudging me a little. “You’re just OCD.”
“This is our first house Freddie, I want it to look perfect.” I smiled happily.
His hand grasped my chin and turned my face towards his. “It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be ours.” He muttered before pressing his lips to mine.
All the children had left for the holidays and Hogwarts was left barren. I’d avoided coming here since the battle, that day the world won, but I lost. I knew he still roamed these halls, of course I’d heard of the famed red headed hero who welcomed first years into the very halls he walked years before.
I don’t know if I hoped to see him, or whether I hoped I didn’t. I found my answer when I rounded the corner and saw him there, frame looming, hands shoved deep into his pockets and the same lopsided smile I’d fallen for years ago.
“Hello angel.” He murmured.
“Hello Freddo.” I mumbled back, stopping a few feet away from him.
His gaze travelled down my frame before settling on my face. “You haven’t changed.” He noted.
“Neither have you.” I replied sadly.
“Still handsome?” He joked.
“Very pretty.” He chuckled a little at my remark. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, angel.” He stepped closer. My hand reached up to graze against his cheek, but as thought the universe was playing a cruel joke on me, my hand fell through as though nothing was there. “You can’t feel me.”
“I always feel you.” I said honestly back.
“Tell me you moved on.” He begged. “Tell me you fell in love again.”
Tears pricked me eyes. “How could I?”
He took in a deep breath. “You need to. You need to marry and have children, grow old with someone.”
“I don’t want to, not without you.” I softly cried back. “I was meant to do all of that with you.”
His lip quivered a little. “I’m so sorry.” He choked. “I never wanted to condem you to this life.”
I sniffed. “It’s okay.”
“I’m holding you back.” He said.
“I don’t mind, not at all.” I smiled. “Because that’s just it…it’s you.”
“It kills me all over again knowing that your just surviving,” he said. “You aren’t livingY/N.”
I shook my head. “There’s no life to live without you.” I said. “The only reason I’m not with you now is because I don’t think George could take another loss.”
“Don’t say those things.” Fred begged me.
“It’s true.” I said. “I think about it day and night, doing that unspeakable thing just to be with you again.”
He shook his head. “Don’t you dare.”
I chuckled softly and sniffed, nodding my head. “I’ll just have to go the long way ‘round.” I smiled.
He peered down at me, a smile tugging on his lips. “I’ll be here waiting.”
I sat looking down at the Wanted picture of Harry, tracing my fingers over the rim of his glasses. They’d been away for months now, the ground beginning to freeze over as winter settled in. Ginny was back for the holidays and worried as ever. The attacks were getting worse and day by day it was getting harder to crack the codes I’d been given.
“Come to bed, angel.” I jumped and looked up to see Fred tiredly rubbing his eyes.
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked down at my papers. “I can’t, this cipher is playing on my mind.” I mumbled back, referring back to the letters I knew they used regularly.
Fred sighed and took a seat opposite me at the dinner table. “You won’t crack anything on no sleep.” He reasoned back.
“But how can I sleep when this is keeping me awake?” I snapped back. His gaze shifted uncomfortably. “Sorry…sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He whispered back. “Any luck?”
I shook my head. “They’ve changed their alphabet again, Remus is trying to gather information for me. Significant symbols, dates, meanings…nothing so far.”
Fred nodded. “You’ll figure it out.”
“I’ve got to, or a whole lot of people are going to die.” I sighed.
A frown formed on his face. “Don’t put that pressure on yourself.” He offered advice.
“How can I not?” I looked up at him. “I’m the one who gives the information on what to do next, where to go, where to stay…”
“It’s not just you.” He said.
“I know, but I feel like it is.” I said in a dejected sort of way. “Every wizard that’s killed, everyone who’s captured…George having one ear. I feel as though it’s all my fault.”
“Nobody blames you.” Fred whispered.
We sat in silence for a minute. “I wonder what Harry, Hermione and Ron are doing.”
Fred leant back in his chair. “I don’t like to think about it too much.”
“Why?” I frowned.
Fred offered a shrug. “Makes me sad.” He shortly explained.
“I think about it a lot.” I said. “I think about where they are, if they know more than us…if they feel safe.”
Fred pursed his lips and crossed his broad arms over his chest. “Come to bed.”
I slowly nodded and began packing away my papers as Fred intently watched me. “I’ll come back to this tomorrow.” I absentmindedly whispered.
“All I want for Christmas, is youuuuu!” I pranced on the spot, trying my hardest not to spill the bowl of gingerbread dough over the counter. “Oooooohh baby!”
“Beautiful singing.”
I screamed and dropped the bowl, the porcelain smashing over the floor and gingerbread going everywhere. Fred and I both stood, wide eyed, staring at the mess on the floor.
“I really wanted that.” I mumbled.
Fred was the first to break and doppled over laughing. He shakily grasped the edge of the counter as a smile broke on my face and began to laugh along with him.
“What are you two laughing at?” Molly smiled brightly as she came into the kitchen. “My bowl!” She suddenly screeched.
Fred and I both pointed at each other. “It was her!”
“It was him!” I snapped back.
Molly rolled her eyes. “I don’t care who it was, clean it up.”
Fred shot me a wink as we both sang along to the Christmas songs on the radio, cleaning up our mess.
Fred shuffled awkwardly on his feet, hands shoved deep into his pockets as a guilty expression overtook his face.
“I didn’t mean to.” He excused.
“How can you accidentally fuck someone else?” I asked.
We were in the Burrow for the weekend, Molly suggesting we escape the city for a small break. I think she could tell our relationship was going through a rough patch. With me constantly working in Scotland, and Fred tied up in London, we’d barely seen each other the past couple months.
He didn’t respond, opening and closing his mouth a number of times before sighing deeply. “I was lonely, you were away for months on end-“
“So this is my fault?” I gaped.
“No! No, I didn’t mean…I just…” he stumbled over his words as he began to pace the small room of the living room.
“So…tell me about it then.” I demanded as I took a seat in the armchair.
“You want to know?” He asked. I nodded. “It was a girl we hired last month in the store, her name’s Lucy. I stayed late one night, I never like going home when you aren’t there…she came in to book holiday off, one thing led to another and…”
I crossed my arms. “How can booking holiday…lead to sex?”
“We didn’t actually have sex, if that makes things better.” His eyes widened with his words: he’d said the wrong thing.
“Better? Better!” I yelled. “Oh this makes everything better! At least you didn’t fuck another women, not properly anyway!”
“Would you be quiet?” He hissed.
“Am I embarrassing you?” I laughed. “Do you find this awkward?”
“No, I just don’t want to wake up mum.” He said.
“No, you don’t want her to know what a dickhead her son is.” I snapped.
He stared down at me for a second, as though his mind was coming up with an insult, until he realised he was in the wrong.
I stood, arms still folded, and walked to the fire. “What did you do then?” I asked as I looked into the flames.
“I don’t think-“
“I have a right to know which parts of your body she’s tainted.” I snapped, looking at him directly.
He sighed again. “She…sucked me off, and I…touched her.”
“Touched her where?”
“Everywhere.”
I blinked back tears and bit down on my lip, slowly nodding. “Did you like it?”
“No.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t lie, of course you did.”
“Not as much as with you.” He whispered.
“Thanks, real compliment there.” I sarcastically said.
“Y/N…” he hummed out. We stood for a moment, him looking at me, and me looking into the fire. I didn’t want him to see the tears that were quickly gathering in the corners of my eyes. “What happens now?”
“We break up, obviously.” I cooly said.
“I don’t want to though.” He said timidly.
“I don’t really care what you want.” I mumbled back, running my hands through my hair.
“Do you really want to break up?” He asked, warily approaching me.
“Yes…no…I don’t know.” I sighed. “All I know is I don’t want to see you.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know Fred, all I know is the man I thought loved me fucked - fingered - another women.” I corrected myself.
He grimaced at my words. “Don’t use that word.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Why can’t we use another word for it? Like…handled.” He suggested.
I finally looked at him. “Handled? You handledher?”
“Better than fingered.” He shrugged.
“But you didn’t handle her, Fred, you put your hands everywhere.” I sadly quoted him.
He seemed taken aback by my face. The tears had slipped and fell down my cheeks, my nose red, lip quivering as I said the words. He wasn’t used to seeing me so sad, usually I was a master at masking my sadness.
“I’m sorry.” It was the first time he’d apologised. “I’m so sorry.”
“Was it me? Were you unhappy with me?” I quietly asked.
“No,” he said. “I think that’s why I did it: because I wanted you but couldn’t have you.”
I nodded understandingly. “You shouldn’t have done it.”
“I know.”
“I could’ve fucked loads of other men.” I said. “I had a guy last week at a bar asking me back to his place. I nearly went…but I didn’t, because I just pictured you and my heart stopped me.”
“You’ve always been better than me.” He admitted.
“That’s true.” I agreed.
We stayed silent for a while longer. “I need to know what you’re thinking.”
I raised my thumb to my mouth and began biting the nail. “Does she look like me?”
“No…not really, she’s blonde…”
“Oh for fucks sake, she’s blonde.” I groaned. “Of course she’s blonde.”
“What’s wrong with that?” He asked confused.
“It just makes everything worse, doesn’t it?” I snapped, chewing my nail again.
“What are we going to do about this weekend? Should we leave?” He asked.
“I don’t know Fred,” I sighed, placing my head in my hands. “I think I’m going to go back to London and pack a few things, then I’ll go to mum for a few weeks and think.”
Fred nodded and agreed, watching as I stood and slipped on my boots and coats. The bags from our arrival earlier were still by the front door, as if I knew I wouldn’t be here long. I stood, clutching my small travel bag in hand.
As I was about to walk out Fred’s voice spoke up. “You’ll come back, right? Even if it’s to tell me you hate me…you’ll come back?”
“Yeah…” his sad eyes looked at me. “I love you.”
His eyes glimmered with hope. “I love you, dearly.”
“There’s a fight!” Everyone’s head snapped to the entrance to the Common Room where Seamus was panting heavily. “Well come on then!”
Everyone scrambled out of their seats, running after Seamus who was leading the way. The fight was taking place on the small square of green in the middle of the Castle, and Hermione quickly joined me with the crowd.
“Who do you think it is?” She asked.
“Not a clue.” I said back.
There was a growing circle in the middle of the green, people cheering and whooping at whoever was fighting. Muscling my way through the crowd, I groaned at who I saw.
Fred was tumbling on the ground with Draco, both taking hits from one another. Fred however, being bigger and stronger, managed to pin Draco down and land a harsh punch to his cheek. The crowd winced at the hard blow and I took the opportunity to stop it.
“Fred!” I yelled, grabbing his raised arm. “Fred, stop it!”
He shrugged me off and went to punch again. I looked up to see George laughing with his group of friends.
“George!” I said angrily. “Help!”
“Right, sorry.” He quickly rushed to Fred and wrapped both arms around his waist, hauling him off of Draco, who rolled onto his side and began crying. “Come on Buddy, that’s enough.” George said.
Fred quickly shoved George off of him and cast an angry glare to the crowd, who had suddenly quietened with the end of the fight. He adjusted his jumper and looked at me, before rolling his eyes and barging through the people.
“Fred!” I called after him, people moving out of the way.
His legs were far longer than mine and took much bigger strides, which made catching him a nightmare. The halls were busy with students hurrying to their next class, and it took me a few minutes to finally grab ahold of his wrist.
Fred was breathing heavily, his whole body tense from the fight. He peered down at me with a stony stare but allowed me to lead him to an empty classroom near by. I shut the door behind us and turned to the pacing man in front of me.
“Ihate him.” He seethed. “He walks around this place like he owns it.”
“Fred-“
“And he had the balls to call my mother fat, like that’s a bad thing!” Fred exclaimed. “She’s not anyway, but it wouldn’t matter if she was!”
“Freddie-“
“And I know what you’re going to say.” He grumbled. “You’re going to tell me that it was poor of me to punch him, and you’ll get me to apologise and I will because you’re always right and I’m wrong.”
I chuckled and slowly approached him. “That’s not what I’m going to say.”
He deeply frowned down at me. “What?”
“Granted, I don’t want you to do that ever again.” I lightly scolded. “But Draco needed to be taken down a few pegs, and I think you did that.”
“So you’re not going to tell me off?” He warily asked.
I giggled again. “Not this time.” I smiled. “But…please learn to control your temper, I know you can lose yourself in your anger sometimes.”
His eyes softened. “I know.” He lowly admitted.
My hand took his and looked down at his bruised and cut knuckles. “You’re going to have to get these seen to.” I advised as I pressed a kiss to his damaged skin.
“You’re far too good for me.” He whispered as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
Fred frowned deeply, obviously surprised by my response. I kept a straight face as we stared at each other, in a sense, puffing our chests out for the inevitable fight that was to come.
Fred gazed at me with a confused expression. “What?”
“You don’t love me.” I said back confidently.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked.
I gathered his hands in mine and squeezed tightly. “Because it’s me, Freddie.” I sadly smiled.
His hands quickly ripped from my grip. “I don’t find it very fair that you get to decide my feelings.” He snapped.
“That’s not what I’m doing.” I quickly defended. “I’m just showing you the truth.”
“I love you.” He said again.
I scrunched my nose. “Don’t say that.”
“I love you, I couldn’t possibly love anyone else.” He quickly said as I stood and ran my hands through my hair.
“Stop it.” I snapped.
“You made it so easy.” He continued, rounding to stand in front of me. “You made it so easy to fall for you. The way you do your hair, to the things that tumble out your mouth before your teeth can stop them. You’re the easiest person to love.”
“No I’m not.” I grumbled.
He rolled his eyes. “Now’s the part where you tell me how unlovable you are, and you’ll list all your flaws and I’ll say I love them anyway. And then you’ll probably go on to say something ridiculous, like you don’t believe in love at all.” He predicted.
I looked at him for a while, mulling over his words. “I do believe in love,” I said. “I just don’t believe anyone could love meromantically.”
His brows furrowed.
“It’s not that I’m unloved or unlovable. There are plenty of people out there who would say they love me, and I’d believe them. But none of them are in love with me.
Because there’s a vast difference between the two. To love someone is to simply be fond of them, to enjoy their company and excuse their ways. But to be in love with someone: that’s to take them into yourself. To incorporate their ways, their mannerisms, into the very fabric of your soul.
I don’t believe anyone would love me enough to do that. I don’t know why I think that, but I do. I don’t believe you’re in love with me, I think your just very fond of me and enjoy my company.”
His lips pursed. “I think that’s very childish.”
“Excuse me?” I gaped.
“You’re like a wounded animal. You’re hurting, and you desperately need someone to help you but you’re too proud and childish to ask for it. So here I am, offering you help, and you’re snarling your teeth to get me to back away.
But I won’t do it. Don’t you think it’s time you finally let someone help you? Because Merlin, you aren’t doing yourself any favours by putting your pride above your happiness.”
“Stop it, I’m holding a knife.” I warned as Fred poked my side.
“You’ve been cooking for hours,” he pouted. “Pay attention to me.”
I giggled. “I’m sorry that your family eats enough to feed an army, and Sunday dinner is at our house this week.”
Fred came behind me and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. “They’re not gonna be here for another ten minutes…do you know what we could do in ten minutes?”
“We could finish cooking in ten minutes.” I mused back.
I jumped as his lips planted soft kisses along my shoulder and neck. “Or I could make you feel-“
“Fuck!” I cried as the knife sunk into my middle finger. “Ow!”
“Merlin!” Fred exclaimed, grabbing the knife from my hand and placing it on the side. “You silly goose!”
Tears sprung in my eyes. “Freddie, it hurts!” I cried as I peered down at the blood.
“Come here.” He ushered me over to the sink and began running water. “Put it under.”
His large hand guided mine under the water, my crying seemed to intensify as the cold water stung my cut.
“It hurts.” I said again, pulling my hand away.
Fred quickly ushered me back under the water. “I’ve got to clean it first.”
“Hello-oh, what’s wrong?” George and Angelina walked into the kitchen, a bottle of wine in his hand.
“I’m gonna have to cut off my hand!” I wailed.
Fred laughed loudly. “Stop being so bloody dramatic.”
“It’s not funny Fred, it really hurts!” I cried.
“You’ve mentioned.”
“Should we…” Angelina trailed off.
“Nope, she’s a big girl.” Fred turned the tap off and wrapped a tea towel around the abused finger.
“This is all your fault.” I whimpered.
Fred chuckled as he retrieved the first aid box. “Is not.”
“It is!” I cried again. “I told you to stop distracting me while I was cooking and you didn’t listen.”
He bit his lip to suppress another laugh. “I’m very sorry, come here.”
George and Angelina seemed to chuckle at my distressed state and Fred wrapped a thick bandage around my finger.
“Is it bad? Do I need to go to the hospital? Will I ever be able to use my hand again?” My watery eyes made contact with Fred’s as he smiled down at me.
“Y/N…” he sternly said. “I’m going to have to cut off the arm.”
I snorted. “Shut up.”
He winked as Arthur and Molly came into view. “Oh dear, what happened?” Molly frowned.
“Y/N severed an artery.” Fred joked.
“Fred stabbed me with a knife.” I snapped back.
Molly rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the other couple in the room. “Lemme kiss it better.”
Fred sponged a kiss to the bandage and peered at me through his lashes. “Thank you.” I whispered.
