#girls in love

This will be my final post about her.

Words aren’t enough to describe the pain and the agony that comes with breaking up with the one you love. Especially if the person is Your One True Love, your Greatest Love, She Who Will Forever Hold Your Heart.

You cry over your past and your supposed future together. You blindly hope against hope that your supposed immense love for each other can fix all the damages of your ruined relationship. You hold on tightly for as long you can, as hard as you can, no matter how much it makes you bleed and die little by little as days go by.

Until you realize that you just have to let go.

I believe that when you love someone, you fight for them. You lay down everything on the line. You refuse to let it go down the drain.

But you can only hope and hold on for so much. Especially if the other person cannot take it upon herself to fight along with you. She will say that she loves you, say that she can’t lose you, cry because it hurts her, too. But she won’t grab all the shards that stab your heart with bare hands and keep you. When it’s time for you to leave, she will kiss you. Then she will just watch you go.

And that is how you know. That is how you know that you have to go.

Some people say that love should be able to conquer all. It should be enough. But then you question how a love so great still can’t be enough, because it isn’t.

You deserve peace, assurance, fidelity, happiness, and security. Love should be able to give you that. So if it can’t, then maybe it’s not the right love for you. No matter how much you push for it to be.

Maybe it’s not the right time or the right season. Maybe it’s not ready. But for whatever reason, if the person can’t love you wholly, then you should accept that this love isn’t yours for the taking.

And it’s hard. Trying to untangle yourself from your dreams, wishes, and hopes with this person. Your mind will come up with all rational explanations to justify the idiocy of your heart. Because it really is so hard to let go.

But then one day you will just realize that you can’t keep on fooling yourself and that you have to open your eyes to every single painful truth and accept that holding on will just consume you until there is nothing left.

And so you let go.

Love, and not time, heals all wounds. And it won’t be the same love which wounded you in the first place.

Loving yourself will heal you. Allowing and accepting another love will heal you. Because that love you so desperately want won’t. It can, but it won’t.

Perhaps I will always be in love with that girl. Perhaps I will never experience the same level of greatness of love that I shared with her with someone else. But I know that I can no longer hold on to what does not want to stay.

So I am telling that girl:
I love you. I had since 2006. We were separated for five years but come 2013 and I still love you. I will always love you. But I am done fighting. Maybe in another five years, we will see each other again, maybe we won’t, but this love will always stay, even when I no longer can.

Always.

———–
I am sending this as a submission because I will no longer run this blog and I no longer have access to it. This has chronicled my longest relationships and I no longer want to be haunted by its demise.

Please follow my new Tumblr – http://ruth-leinor.tumblr com. I will create a new girl’s love blog soon.

Thank you for supporting this blog since 2011.

Because in my world, I’m constantly, constantly having a breakthrough

In case you needed an extra dose of RULES in your life

“I want you to wanna kiss me so bad that you don’t even ask” ❤️

I’d die for them tbh

The truth

Don’t mess with lesbians. We are fully capable of stealing your beanies and kissing your girl

In the mood to tell a girl I love her

Find a girl who looks at you the way Cari looks at Shannon

- the moment when you both pause for breath and the realisation of what you are both capable of doing to each other -

- “ for a split second I thought I’d fucked up - misread the signals,…. and then she kissed me back - ”

- “Have you ever been with another girl - your best friend - and there’s been a moment between you after a sleepover when you just lay in bed together, neither speaking, just staring into each others eyes.. that moment when you both have to make the decision whether your friendship is about to cross the line from bff to lover? - No? … just me then! ”

- “this is wrong..”

- “no it isn’t”

- “I can’t..”

- “you can”

- “what will people think?”

- “who cares..”

-“…… .. .”

-“…… .. .”

-“ kiss me …”

“…. the kiss she gave me was gentle, soft and seductive. I think we were falling for each other…”

Jolene

“Your beauty is beyond compare,

With flaming locks of auburn hair,

With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green.

Your smile is like a breath of spring,

Your voice is soft like summer rain

And I just want to be with you, Jolene.”

- Jolene (but it’s gay) by Reinaeiry

Happy pride month ya’ll! I definitely need to draw more girls being in love.

I had forgotten how enjoyable it was to draw girls. This is a little soft moment in the past of Princesses Uranus and Neptune in the days of Silver Millennium.