As of page 21 of Homestuck^2, Detective Pony has been referenced in (beyond) canon. This was a big enough shock to get me off my complacent ass and actually post here.
Hello again.
Since my last post, I’ve been out here in the real world living life, while simultaneously struggling to complete my treatise on the history of the role of the Republican party in American politics over the past 105 years disguised as an anime dating sim. As I should have expected, it became a much bigger and harder (practically, mentally, ethically) project than anticipated at the start, but I’m still plugging away at it. Anticipated release date: sometime next year (still not as delayed as Hiveswap).
I’d also like to take this opportunity to plug NakedBee’s newest project, a film version of Detective Pony. You can follow the progress at deceptive-copy.tumblr.com. It looks absolutely fantastic, and Bee has a dedication to seeing massive projects to completion that I find enviable, and downright heroic. Bee, of course, previously made a podfic of Detective Pony, so I think it’s time to award them the title of… Paladin of Transmedial Pony Adaptations.
Thank you all for enjoying the dumb thing I wrote five years ago. And please, above all else…
Hey you! YEAH, YOU! Have you ever thought to yourself: “man, I’m over eighteen years old and REALLY want to produce music for the webcomic ‘Vast Error’”? Well, your hyperspecific dreams can finally be realized! From JANUARY 11th 2022toFEBRUARY 12th 2022, the VEMT is taking OPEN APPLICATIONS.
Fill out this Google Form, send it in to us, and we’ll see if you’ve got the right stuff!
If you’ve applied before or never received a response to a prior attempt to join, you’re more than welcome to try again! Good luck to all of you interested and aspiring makers of music out there!
Some thoughts from Discord I had on how well I was warming up to HS^2 lately, specifically how it was handling Roxy. Spoilers under the cut, concerning HS^2 all the way to the current pause point:
BlastYoBoots — Today at 2:46 PM I realized just in the back of my mind, a handful of days ago, how before HS^2 paused it had been coming around strong on one of the biggest things that’d annoyed me about it
in the Candy side, Roxy seemed to have resigned herself to housewife– and raising a child is noble and all, but she was aGOD and a capable scientist-minded person all wrapped into one and the world was falling into chaos, with her barely even taking a side compared to everyone around her she looked weak, ineffectual– I was delighted to hear that she at least TRIED to introduce flight to the world, to make some change to make the world better with her power and talents (the status of godhood conferred in part because they prove WILLING to go that far for it), and dismayed that it failed, though at least I had a mental picture of someone who had tried to leverage her power and mind and found that the world didn’t want her to :( that depressed me throughout HS^2 until the very last update I was blogging when that request from Roxy for John to help her move some heavy furniture was given, and I was like, COMPLETELY outraged for a moment at the idea that they maybe, possibly, had forgotten that Roxy was powerful enough to at least lift a bed with her top-of-the-echeladder god strength but it all eventually played out, in those last update or two and it turned out that Roxy and Callie were working happily together, without anyone knowing about it, looking as meek as possible – truly Voidy – on what is probably the most important move in the entire plot, to save their world and possibly the other. with a sick-ass underground science cave at the heart of the universe. just like, yeah. chill. on the down low. just lettin’ John know about it maybe a little. and all that just fills my heart with joy. so yeah, just had to get that off my chest
Andrew Hussie posted to Patreon that they’re going to take a slow Gigapause-seeming approach to releasing a finished HS^2 much later down the road. I still have some bonuses, commentary, and Hiveswap Act 2 to blog through, and I’ll try to get around to some of that in a couple months if I’m less IRL busy.
Selected quotes, though not the complete post:
Homestuck^2 is going to be completed, but the Patreon will not be charging patrons anymore. The account will be frozen and no additional patrons will be accepted, but the ones currently registered are welcome to stay and receive notifications about the future of this project if the team is inclined to post any.
The plan now is to have HS^2 finished, but without a regular update schedule. Previously saved Patreon funds will be used to privately commission the team to finish the story. It will all be posted at once when it is finished, and there will be no updates until this happens. I expect that it will take a long time to finish the story. This is because I am specifically instructing the team to work slowly.
I originally agreed to let this project move forward entirely based on the presumption that it would be an enjoyable experience for the team involved. It’s not like I had a burning need to release a continuation of the narrative, or a formal “sequel”, which is never how I viewed this arc. The project mostly came about because I picked up on the enthusiasm the original creative group had for the idea, and I also sensed that energy was being reciprocated by the particular state of the fandom at the time. But since then I’ve observed it’s been pretty far from an enjoyable experience for the team[…]
My only criteria for the completion of HS^2 is that whoever is involved the rest of the way just has a good time with it, and ends up feeling like they have made a good story. If the team is happy with it, then so am I, and nothing else about it matters to me. Especially not sticking to a schedule or satisfying fandom demands, whatever those even are at this point.
[…] I’ll consider ways to thank the patrons for hanging in there all this time and supporting the team. […] We all appreciate your support.
—Andrew
I expect they’ll post another version of this announcement somewhere other than Patreon, because communication can’t stay spotty about something like this – this is why you have official accounts and such. But I don’t know who owns the logins to those, and over long distances this can be something of a juggling act I understand.
Iam enjoying HS^2 though and am quite dismayed that it’s going to be quite a while before we see the end (OR ANY CLASSPECT CONFIRMATIONS/ DECONFIRMATIONS AAAGH), and furthermore understand from personal experience that people’s emotional states are fuel reservoirs that are easy to burn and exhaust, especially based on team dynamics, subject matter and the state of the world. So I hope those who continue working on Homestuck^2 over the next while can deliver it to us for the least emotional cost. I think most of us don’t believe most works of fiction are worth wringing significant pain out of the creators.
THE SPOOKTOBER SPOOKD8 IS HERE! Time to blog it and hope to the lord of bones that it heavily features the 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton! Continuing from last time.
Will John remember that he should be off protecting the other kids from running off? Or will he search for Vrissy finally, now that he’s spent a literal DAY staring at his house burning down?
This is the last Blood tie with your childhood and the past you were clinging to like a man-child, finally cut. Your psyche is no longer allowed to be….
….Housetrapped.
Now get your Breathy ass over to your more adult responsibilities. Or do something as irresponsible as usual, but more forward focused and thus singularly impressive.
I knew I was a fatally addicted Homestuck fanboy despite the trauma but I didn’t know I was THAT much of a just-over-thirty-year-old fanboy, I literally GASPED out loud. To finally have the joy and confidence for the future that comes with JOHN and KARKAT together IN PERSON and interacting with a common goal.
What a dramatic, perfect shot. This IS Karkat right? That’s what the visuals and my heart and soul said
I didn’t always understand the appeal of John as a character, ranking him in the middle of my liked characters list. But after a while, I suddenly noticed how enjoyable he was for the things his conversations did to others, making his pesterlogs some of the most enjoyable to read. I wrote the following two years ago, in a character rankings thread, back when we knew jack shit about the import of classes and roles:
“I didn’t really see why I should think John was such an amazing character until I realized his consistent effect on the other party. He’s goofy and doesn’t really understand anything, but he understands just enough about his friends and others to make cutting, hilarious, almost unintentional insights that can change people for the better, even if he’s off the mark. It’s not what he says himself, but what he brings about in others that makes him so great to read. I mean, if you wall him off from everyone else… he kind of fails.
That’s why I take issue with the complaint of protagonist syndrome, here. John is very little by himself, but enhances all the characters around him immensely. Imagine if John were doomed to stay the least powerful and/or game-advancing of the kids and trolls combined; notice how little that would do to the story, or his beneficial role in it.”
John cut himself off from EVERYONE for YEARS in the Candy timeline. He tried to be close to people and just ended up distancing himself from it. He tried to keep himself tied down by his old home and memories of the version of Dad he lost, and all sorts of childish stuff. But that tie is cut, and the bonds he’s forged need to be grasped to bring him out to exercise his maturity, because Breath is futile without real BLOOD.
(that was supposed to skip to 2:26 when you click but I couldnt embed it that way – I haven’t metal geared i just seen clips and super best friends & know some memes)
Oh my fucking god, going from that to Sprite mode that abruptly. XD
This is great.
JOHN: karkat? JOHN: what are you doing here? KARKAT: IT’S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.
Hah, SO close that Karkat’s immediately critical of NOT being greeted warmly. :)
JOHN: this isn’t a battlefield, it’s just… KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME. JOHN: well, yeah. KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT. JOHN: oh all right, fine. JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that. JOHN: i guess i’m used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.
Yeah John, the burning down from a bomb that was meant for you and ALL of your friends’ children is supposed to shatter you out of that illusion.
I’d continue criticizing, but Karkat’s about to do it for me:
KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN. KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY. KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING. KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION? KARKAT: IF YOU HADN’T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. JOHN: jeez, i’m sorry karkat. JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed. JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.
A BIT DISTRACTED. You empty-headed irresponsible guardian.
KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB??? JOHN: uh. KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!! JOHN: oh right, that. JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe. JOHN: i don’t think there’s anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though. KARKAT: THAT’S FAIR.
Mhmm. Many of the characters in Candy AND Meat are currently in a situation where due to either years of unpractice in a worshipful society that discourages it by fueling their insecurities or inability to due to confinement in a years-long space trip has caused them to AVOID using their powers for the main beginning stretch of our new story. People have complained about them outright “forgetting” to use their powers, and they’re right, to an extent, but it’s story-justified. They’re almost all physically or psychologically prevented from doing so! But those walls are coming down, starting now. They’re going to come back into their own. And we’re bound to see a LOT MORE of these literal Gods using their abilities to shape the fabric of reality as the story progresses.
JOHN: i suppose i’ll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.
It was all already happening, you just refused TO accept it until now.
JOHN: so… JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball? KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START. KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP. KARKAT: I SAY “IN HINDSIGHT”, BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT. JOHN: …right. KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY? KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT? KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT “KICK ME” SIGN DAUBED ON IT? KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN’T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS! KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
But what if she PLANNED to have a public funeral for him, and then revive him SOON AFTER to turn him into a Christ-like resurrecting figure? D:
JOHN: well, when you put it like that… JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh. KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN. KARKAT: FRANKLY I’M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION. KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING “PRANKED” BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.
Pretty much. Get serious, John, actual people are dying by the–
–oh right, he was like this through the apocalypse and death of everyone on Earth.
I guess this is in character. Paradox Space made sure to choose someone empty-headed and disconnected from reality enough to withstand this shit easily. He really is a Breath player.
KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN’T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION. KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE. KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE’S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.
Excellent, yeah.
JOHN: it sounds like she’d be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then. KARKAT: SHE’S A CHILD, YOU MORON.
Yeah, you’re fucking grown up now, John. Stop thinking of the kids as the ones who have to rise up when the adults aren’t all doomed or dead.
KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL. JOHN: shit. KARKAT: THEY’VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED. JOHN: shiiiiiiiit. KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY! KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO. JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):
At least he messed that part up while he was TRYING to watch them, and not when he wandered off and watched his house burn for a whole day instead of protecting the remaining kids.
KARKAT: JANE’S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN. KARKAT: IT’S BIZARRE. KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. KARKAT: IF IT WASN’T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I’D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.
Leave it to Karkat to point out the blatant absurdity of Homestuck’s nonsense in any given situation.
JOHN: wait. JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right? KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE. JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment. JOHN: how is that even possible? JOHN: doesn’t vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers? JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her. KARKAT: YOU’VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.
…Is Karkat going to put two and two together and realize that Vriska must have been intentionally captured of her own free will for some sort of ploy?
KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER’S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME. KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR. KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN’T! KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL. KARKAT: THAT’S ABOUT ALL WE’VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES. JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn’t i.
Guh. I guess Karkat is underestimating Vriska a bit or just assuming the worst out of a habit of assuming the worst of everything. (Or, if he has his suspicions, he’s not telling John.)
KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES, KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT? JOHN: i… hm.
Yeah, use your shoosh-paps from Karkat wisely, John. You needed them.
JOHN: i don’t really know? JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat. JOHN: no offense, but when you’re around, it’s usually a lot… KARKAT: A LOT WHAT? JOHN: a lot funnier. KARKAT: FUNNIER. JOHN: how to put this. JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we’ve fucked everything up is just very funny! JOHN: but now it’s just not the same. JOHN: maybe it’s part of what’s going on with this entire reality? i don’t know. JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something. JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other? JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole. JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn’t know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it. JOHN: but now it’s like… the only one who’s still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don’t understand.
Mhmm, Karkat has every reason to be mad. And everything really, REALLY close to you that you care about is in danger from the very things he’s mad about. Karkat is RIGHT for once with every angry seemingly-exaggerated-but-not word, and that’s throwing you.
JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful! JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again. JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it…
…you think maybe something that happens to be A WAR is actually a big farking deal that you should be serious about??
JOHN: it’s hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before. JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.
IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.
JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something. KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. JOHN: oh. okay.
Heheh.
KARKAT: IF WE’RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN. KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL. KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL. KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.
All Breath and no Blood? All concept and influence and ephemeral accomplishments and no physical impact or results?
Karkat has been fighting this whole time with physical results in mind. He NEEDS to tie that ephemeral shit down, and once added to his plan, once Breath sweeps the tide of actual sentiment of people, inspires them, you have an actual victory in reach instead of just more attrition.
KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.
Really need to dig yourself out more than that, John, yeah.
KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT’S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!
(Which is why your plan of attack needs more Breath!)
KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO “LEND A HAND”, YOU’D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO’VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE. KARKAT: THIS ISN’T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE. KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE. JOHN: well… all right. if you say so karkat.
Phew. Let’s hope he takes Karkat’s gift of a worldbound, arms-in-the-dirt sense of responsibility (Blood) and runs with it.
KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME. KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO. JOHN: wait, hold on. KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.
JOHN: you can’t be leaving already. JOHN: there’s… so much we still need to talk about!
No, not that!!
…well, yes, I’m all for more of you two talking but. This ain’t just about you two.
KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS?? KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. JOHN: no, that’s not what i’m talking about at all. JOHN: karkat, we still haven’t spoken about *you*! KARKAT: ABOUT ME? JOHN: yes. KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*? JOHN: about you. KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME. JOHN: well… JOHN: you know, how you feel! KARKAT: HOW I FEEL. JOHN: or just… JOHN: argh, i don’t know!
This was more of an intervention than a feelings jam, John. I’m not sure John’s in the condition right now to Breathily inspire Karkat somehow and help his war with an idea and drive he didn’t have before – like he SHOULD eventually – but I suppose we’re about to see.
JOHN: it’s just been so long since we’ve seen each other. JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn’t feel right to just not even mention any of it! KARKAT: LIKE WHAT?? JOHN: oh, i don’t know karkat, literally anything! JOHN: i mean, look at you. JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn’t something to discuss there.
You talked with him plenty while NOT in person, though.
JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don’t have to talk about the eyepatch. JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands? JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through. JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy? JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal?? JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing! JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?
That’s fair. And they DO need to talk about it! But this is sort of like in the Game – there’s important shit to do, and not a whole lot of time to do it. You’re going to do a lot of talking, but you won’t be able to do all you want with certain people separated from you by the circumstances of how this war is dividing your responsibilities.
JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn’t mean that much to you. KARKAT: JOHN. JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave. JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave. KARKAT: JOHN. KARKAT: FUCKING HELL! KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat. JOHN: we need to talk about dave! KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!! KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. JOHN: oh come on. JOHN: there’s no way you aren’t feeling kind of messed up about him, right?
THIS is fair. Karkat does need to talk about this with somebody. Whether John is the right somebody… I guess he is where Dave is concerned. And he has to talk to Jade eventually, too.
JOHN: i know i am. JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two… JOHN: especially now that he’s… JOHN: ugh, i’m sorry. i’m SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it. JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad. JOHN: all i’m trying to say is… JOHN: it’s not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them. JOHN: even if you aren’t feeling anything right now, and i don’t for a moment believe that’s true, *i* need to talk about dave! JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment. KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.
It’s difficult to live in a Daveless world.
KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE. KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY “FEELINGS” ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: okay. JOHN: thank you. KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION?? KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.
–it’s not gonna be short, or cut away, is it? –actually it could just switch to a very sad sunset-like vista of the two sitting there, and one poignant line from him followed by a long, hanging pause.
KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE? KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!! KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!! KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION. KARKAT: I’VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN’T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE! JOHN: wait, karkat, that’s not what i KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING! KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*! KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM. KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!
Okay he dealt with it by keeping his hands in the dirt working on hard-fighting responsibilities, yeah, as a Blood player might. But the way he’s ranting about it seems a little-
KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE?? JOHN: um. KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN… OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER! JOHN: (oh shit.)
Oh no… oh no, they’re BOTH about to let it out together.
They’re gonna have to cry it out. Finally, onscreen. THIS is why they weren’t showing us, why they were saving it. It felt so awkward at the time but it’s because it has to culminate in these two, some of the closest to Dave since CHILDHOOD, get to show us the effect on everyone in a microcosm.
KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT! KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME! KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other JOHN: (oh god. you don’t…)
Talk about John’s comment about Karkat’s rants not being hilarious in a situation. THIS situation really tugs it out of them. :(
KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN! KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN? KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE?? KARKAT: WELL WHY DON’T WE TRY IT THEN. KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON’T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! JOHN: (oh my god…)
These visuals are ON POINT. This entire sequence since Karkat showed up is masterfullydone.
KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL! JOHN: ): KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!! KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS “PAUSE” ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS. KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME! KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!! KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!! KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN’T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL! KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT’S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN’T DEAD. JOHN: ))))): KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C’S BULLSHIT HISTORY. KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT! KARKAT: DON’T THINK THAT I WON’T!! KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!! JOHN: KARKAT!!!!
That last bit with John. I can HEAR the rawness in his voice as he shouts that last bit… he’s about to burst into tears. And Karkat is going to have to with him. And they’ll cry it out together, as they should.
JOHN: i didn’t mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought… JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already! JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next… JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn’t make any sense that he’s dead, but he is. JOHN: he is dead and he’s not coming back. KARKAT: JOHN: talk to me karkat, please. JOHN: please talk to me karkat. KARKAT: KARKAT: HE…
Jade and Rose were on a different part of this battlefield, they didn’t have the ability, time, and/or heart to break the news–
And what a regret RoboDave has to have for abandoning everyone without so much as a farewell letter. To think that ditching them like that was IN his Ultimate Soul is going to eat away at him. He may be linked to all of his self of selves, but he’s still an individual with individual regrets.
This was a damned good update. See y’all next time.
(It may be the new meds I’m on, but between this and the thorough love I see put into the unofficial archive, I’m suddenly reminded that despite all the drama, I fucking LOVE Homestuck. Even its current incarnation.)
Reminder, bonus update blogging is always light on detail because I don’t wanna spoil all the paid content, but I’ll give the gist of my reactions and go into anything plot or character related that helps understand the main story, as well as giving you a real top-down view of “what happens” so you know what it’s about and whether or not to invest in looking yourself.
We left off with a Snowman gunpoint threat, and still no Dad dragging DD in handcuffs to find Jane like we saw in the Catnapped bonus. Let’s see how far this one goes. *Click*
Oh, DD’s waking up from having been knocked out, apparently. And trying to string together some Noir-sounding stuff but dizzying clumsily through it with a bunch of ellipses, vomiting.
What? Just because you don’t appear to have any bones or joints or internal organs doesn’t mean you’re always at 100%. Cut a guy a break.
Ah, they’re chained up in two chairs next to each other. Wonder if this is where the handcuffs came from. Apparently Snowman with a gun trumps Dad, provided he wasn’t just going along with it to escape later to make things easier.
Their hats are on the adjacent table. Both are groggily rousing. I do like the flickering effects they’re using here to really display this as a dank basement city room to hold them in.
Suddenly we go from detailed art to a very sprite-like groggy blinking animation (not pictured, only one frame here). Weird.
This is not the kind of room guys are liable to come out of once they go in, and from the expression on your new friend’s face, he knows that as good as you do.
Someone tosses a bucket of water at them. Wakes them up redundantly. Wants them to talk. (Shortening a lot of long-winded, fun Noirspeak here.)
Dad says out loud that he doesn’t know DD and doesn’t know why he’s here, and DD instantly believes he’s actually being betrayed instead of Dad just saying the best thing for him because DD’s too depressed and cynical lately, apparently. Like goes on a whole “can’t count on anybody, this is why you work alone” internal bit. Come on, DD.
Slick’s talking to your new friend–something about speakeasies and fenestrated walls–but you’re sunk too deep into your pathetic reverie to take any of it in.
Ohh. Hm. What if Dad’s the target because Slick and crew want a way out of the city to cause trouble?
Dad kicks Slick in the knee and downs him when he’s approaching to stab DD and wasn’t expecting it. Breaks his ropes with raw strength. Impresses DD, cuts him free with Slick’s knife before the goons can react. “Let’s get out of here.”
Some fun visuals in this bonus, but just advancing the plot a bit in the bonus, nothing too special. See ya next time!
Okay, this makes more sense as to why they both disappeared – Vrissy is either trying to get her back or is going along and just being grousy about it, or one under the pretense of the other or the like.
By the way, if Rose specifically planned in a way that involved telling Vriska to sit on the sidelines and not doing anything, shouldn’t she ABSOLUTELY KNOW, one-hundred percent with a combination of her Seer of Light powers and common sense, that Vriska will Not Do That? –so whatever Vriska is about to do I’m going to assume Rose has accounted for it, unless she’s like…
…sworn off using her powers much, or something. That would super suck and I would hate for that to be in this story regardless of themes.
Vriska Maryam-Lalonde, recently “Vrissy,” and potentially “You Are So Grounded You Are Never Leaving The House Again,” isn’t what’s commonly referred to as an “outside girl”.
She likes grass. It’s fine! To look at. And so are trees, as long as they’re somewhere off in the distance, swaying gently in the breeze. Trampling through them is not on the list of acceptable tree activities. Vrissy is already sweaty and dirt-streaked, and there’s probably like fifty gnats trying to drink her eye fluids. At this rate she almost envies Tavros his role as Batterwitch Bait. Sure, he has to pretend to be threatened by Vrissy’s mom, which is lame as hell and also very embarrassing, but at least his eye fluids are safe.
So she’s fine with this in principle, just not with the work involved? Or–
VRISSY: Hey, can you slow Down a Little? VRISSY: I have to run over Shru8s and shit, I can’t Fly! VRISKA: Hah! And who’s fault is that???????? VRISSY: My shitty 8iology I guess! VRISSY: Sorry, not all of Us had SGRU8 Sessions to make ourselves Immortal. VRISKA: Well, we’ll take care of that, don’t even worry a8out it. VRISSY: Lol I wish.
Oh Christ, we really should have seen it coming. OF COURSE VRISKA is going to get her hands on a copy of the Game and try and have these kids play it, regardless of whatever meteor-based consequences to this happy society. FUCK. She doesn’t even see any reason to hide it!
–reading on, some discussion of how people on Earth C view the ability to fly unaided as a sort of religious thing so shot down Roxy’s idea of letting everyone fly. Why does society always keep trying to shut down Roxy all the time
VRISKA: Really, we have to get you a god tier. That’s pretty much the only solution at this point. VRISKA: Ideally we’d go back to when you were a wiggler and start your training right away, 8ut that’s not exactly an option. So god tier it is. VRISSY: Is that even Possi8le? outside of the Game? VRISKA: Nope. 8ut we don’t have to worry a8out that, once we get back into SGRU8. VRISSY: What???
This is what you get for letting Vriska back into your story: She starts another meteor apocalypse and destroys your Happily Ever After. Fuck.
VRISKA: We have to start this shit over again, you have all let it get so out of hand there’s really nothing to do besides a hard reset.
NO. Fuck you. You just don’t like hard work.
(I know everything is accidentally going to end up working out “alright” whatever happens, but even if Vriska’s self-aggrandizing malfeasance HAPPENS to be the cause of it, I really, really don’t want her fucking ideology to be the cause of it. She shouldn’t be Aesma of Kill Six Billion Demons mythology, she’s had too many flirtations with ACTUALLY learning a lesson and BEING EARNEST ABOUT IT to be the selfish chaos at the heart of victory and living.)
(Yes, I recently caught up with KSBD and it’s awesome.)
That’s a really, really damn good waiting-for-an-ambush image. Pretty hilarious.
(Still having a background mental fit about how this HS2 crew might REALLY be trying to make Vriska the Aesma of the Homestuck “universe” which is just aaaAAAUGH NOBODY SHOULD WANT THAT. I’ll be really unhappy with the end product of THIS ENTIRE HS2 PROCESS if they pull that shit, no matter what side benefits there are or how happily it ends. Hell, ESPECIALLY if it ends happily. They’re having fun elevating her somewhat more than most people agree she deserves but they shouldn’t elevate her TO THAT LEVEL. EDIT3: More discussion on that here if you don’t know what I mean.)
VRISKA: This is actually way more fun than I thought it would 8e. VRISKA: 8ringing around a younger, dum8er me. VRISSY: I think we’re 8asically the Same Age. VRISKA: Whatever!
Is John flying out under the ship away from the house? That’s really irresponsible. (And abruptly transitioned, I didn’t realize it happened at first. KEYFRAME THINGS BETTER AUGH)
–why is that belly button window still there? I thought we had a line about Harry fixing his outfit, or at least having the capability to, did they not have time to finish? Let me check, that’s bugging me:
HARRY: plus i wouldn’t have been able to get your measurements for some clothes that actually fit you if we hadn’t come back here where all my sewing stuff is.
Oh GOT IT. Harry TOOK his measurements, but hasn’t fixed his outfit yet.
APPARENTLYALL OF THE HOURS BECAUSE IT’S NIGHT NOW YOU ASS
and that’s the last panel
yknow if we are going to have an arc about john learning to be a slightly more responsible parent it would help if it SHOWED HIM LEARNING ANYTHING
GOODNIGHT
EDIT2: Anonymous asked: “I think the whole "John watches his house burn down” is more him coming to terms with who Jane has become. In the last update they mentioned how Rose(I think it was Rose) baited Jane into believing John and the kids were hiding out at his place, and Jane just destroyed it, so he’s coming to terms with the fact that she just tried to kill not only John and Vriska, but the kids too.“
Oh shit. I forgot about that from the previous update: "JOHN: but rose sent out some false intel about us heading toward my house, so technically this is the safest place we can be right now, since they cleared the area and everything.” He really does have to come to terms with the fact that Jane just tried to murder them all, too, so shit is definitely real.
…Which makes the fact that he didn’t rush off to guard the kids in response to THAT NEW FACT still pretty galling, but.
Jane’s arrogant, but one of the CHARACTERISTICS of her arrogance is that she underestimates the character and capability of her political opponents. How would she NOT consider the possibility that these kids would return home again even while the heat was on?? How would she assume that JOHN would be too smart to come back to–
…oh right, she may not know John is involved or willing to do anything. That’s fair. But the kids??
I’m sure there’s going to be SOME sort of explanation of why the heat is off. Also, I wonder who made that anti-Jane battle plan chart? John himself, or Karkat or something? Karkat’s usually the chart-er.
JOHN: wow, i feel like i’m barely keeping myself sitting. JOHN: if it weren’t for keeping you kids safe i’d be out there right now!
Hm. Are they counting on the fact that Crockercorp would KNOW that John and Vriska are both there to intimidate them from moving in against them? From a sheer difference-in-firepower standpoint after Vriska’s big display?
HARRY: and some of us aren’t gods and shit. JOHN: i’m detecting a hint of judgement in your voice, there, harry anderson JOHN: don’t you enjoy being a part of all this? finally getting to be in the thick of it all? HARRY: i mean i was having a fine time at school, if i’m being honest. HARRY: all this tear-assing back and forth between my home and various points of interest over the past few days has me pretty beat.
Yeah, most kids don’t appreciate being involved in war. Even Vrissy immediately showed some regrets no matter how much she liked to think of herself as wanting to get out there.
HARRY: also i wouldn’t call this “the thick of it all” JOHN: oof, getting air quotes’d by my own son. JOHN: we had to hide in a forsythia bush on the way back here when that drone flew by! JOHN: that’s the thick of father-son hijinks if i ever saw it! JOHN: well, modern day war hijinks, but i’ll take what i can get, you know??
(Be more considerate, John!!) Hm, so they DID sneak their way back in here? I mean, John’s powers may have helped them get through unnoticed, but this is still a big stretch.
HARRY: i’m not knocking the old adrenaline thrill, or helping out Vrissy’s moms or anything. HARRY: i’m just saying i was literally just here and you told me to leave, so i hope this is where we’re gonna park it for a minute. HARRY: a boy’s gotta breathe. JOHN: yeah, well, this wasn’t my plan, either. JOHN: but rose sent out some false intel about us heading toward my house, so technically this is the safest place we can be right now, since they cleared the area and everything. JOHN: i guess.
Ahhhh. Okay. Yeah, a Seer of Light can float an attention lure and know it’ll be an effective enough distraction.
HARRY: hmm. JOHN: what? HARRY: now YOU look like you’re hiding some extra commentary. JOHN: oh, i don’t need to burden you with all the bureaucratic stuff, it’s boring. HARRY: well now hold up, dad. HARRY: a minute ago you were all “we’re in the fight together,” and now you’re backing out of sharing the details? JOHN: it’s not really- HARRY: am i a part of this or not? JOHN: well i’d sure say you were! JOHN: but i guess maybe my thoughts on what is or isn’t right for the operation aren’t up to snuff. JOHN: because here i am, sitting in the dugout, same as you. HARRY: in the dugout?
Mhmm, John’s sore about Rose not counting on John as a heavy hitter. He got back INTO this in part because he missed all the action and relevance, and now they’re telling him to stop and stand still? That’s never been a command John’s easily agreed with. For now, protecting the kids (Blood!) is enough to keep him sitting, but if they (and Vriska) start encouraging him…
HARRY: plus i wouldn’t have been able to get your measurements for some clothes that actually fit you if we hadn’t come back here where all my sewing stuff is.
Thank god, we might get a non-embarrassing god-pajamas John back
HARRY: you were getting pretty into everything back there with rose and them? getting to be with the old crew and everything, like the stories you told me about the game? JOHN: yeah. HARRY: that sucks. JOHN: i had a good plan, too! JOHN: it just wasn’t good enough for karkat, i guess. JOHN: i’m just not “experienced enough in combat strategy”
Oh huh, so that’s John’s discarded plan he’s holding. Karkat’s faction hasn’t quite succeeded the bloody (heh) way so far, perhaps he needs John’s Breath to add some inspiration to it for the most success but they’re not giving him enough credit? It’s hard to blame them for doubting him, though.
JOHN: that is a plus of being here, at least. JOHN: it’s been really nice to get to spend so much time with you. HARRY: um. yeah, it’s not so bad. HARRY: anyway, before you ruffle my hair or anything, it looks like things are getting a bit heated between the vriskas over there. HARRY: maybe we should offer them a snack to bring the mood back down? JOHN: me, mess up your hair when you’ve worked so hard on that look? i do know you at least that well, harry anderson HARRY: thank god.
Cute!
VRISKA: So you actually want to know what I’m thinking now? You want my opinion? VRISSY: Um…Yes? VRISSY: I’m not Really Sure what’s going on right Now. VRISKA: What? VRISSY: I just was wondering why you’re so pissed off at me. VRISKA: What the fuck are you talking about? VRISKA: I’m not pissed at you, you haven’t done shit 8asically at all since i’ve been here. VRISKA: I just can’t 8elieve I’m 8ack stuck in this tacky rumpusblock after all of that!
Both Vriskas are constantly assuming the other Vriska is thinking about them because they’re both Vriska, when they’re really both self-cente– no, that’s not quite true. Vrissy constantly assumes Vriska is thinking about her when she isn’t, and Vriska is somewhat grated because Vrissy belongs in this universe and she isn’t? Or–
Gosh they both have so many issues going on and firewalls up that I can’t actually make heads or tails of it. Usually what’s on Vriska’s mind is painfully obvious from her dodges, but Vrissy is so oblique with her OWN weird thought processes that– god I dunno
VRISSY: We could do Something if You Wanted. VRISKA: Huh? VRISSY: If you’re 8ored. VRISSY: This isn’t my House, but Harry has video games and Movies and shit. VRISSY: Actually, we’re pro8a8ly 8etter off not watching his movies. VRISSY: His taste is Worse than His Dad’s. VRISKA: AGGGHHH!!!!!!!!
They’re from two different worlds, yeah.
VRISKA: No, I don’t want to watch a fucking movie! How the fuck can you think a8out movies????????? VRISKA: How are you okay with any of this? VRISSY: Any of What? VRISKA: 8eing left at home like a couple of dri88ling of wigglers!
Vriska invests all of her self-worth in what she can bring to the table relevance-ways. Her self-esteem couldn’t survive the sidelines.
VRISKA: How are you so calm right now? Your lusii were training you, right? And you’re a troll, you’re definitely five times stronger than a human! And if you’re my clone, you are way more 8adass than little miss Fussy Fangs. VRISKA: I can’t 8elieve you just stayed 8ehind?!?? VRISSY: Well…they told me to. And they’re my Moms.
COMPLETELY different lives. Vriska has never really accepted, never really KNEW what “peaceful life” is actually supposed to be, nor how alluring and satisfying it is.
VRISKA: Clearly not a good plan, 8ecause then I would 8e part of it! VRISKA: What’s the point of me even coming to this shitty fake reality if I’m not supposed to fix it?
hahahahahahahaha
VRISSY: Yeah, they told me about That stuff, but a Lot of the Shit that Happened in the Session if just not in the History Books. VRISSY: You weren’t Really mentioned that Much. VRISKA: Excuse me? VRISSY: People know who you Are, ‘cause we had to Memorize the names of Every one of the Players, Even the ones who didn’t last very Long. VRISKA: You’re trying to tell me that there’s a whole recorded history of SGRUB, and I’m not in it? VRISSY: You’re not not in it. VRISSY: I guess they Mostly Focused on the Creators who Ascended, you know?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
–hm, what if some of the pre-retcon timeline where Vriska WASN’T as involved DID fold its way into this one? Explaining Jane remembering Gamzee showing up early in her session to sell her troll blood when that was (if we’re remembering right, correct me if I’m wrong) erased by the retcon in favor of Vriska time-traveling in in his place?
VRISKA: Whoever was schoolfeeding you was a complete 8ulgesucker, because I “ascended” 8efore any of the humans did!! VRISKA: Literally 8illions of years 8efore, since our session was the one that created theirs!!!!!!!! VRISKA: I was the 8ne who 8uided John’s 8uffoonish 8lue ass all the way through his first 8ew days in the Medium! VRISKA: I m8de all the plans to take down the J8cks! VRISKA: I SINGLE H8ND8DLY! VRISKA: CURED YOUR MOTHER’S FUCKING ALCH8LISM!!!!!!!! JOHN: uh, vriska, everything okay over there? VRISKA: EVERYTHING’S FINE, J8HN! JOHN: okay. JOHN: do you girls want a snack? VRISKA: AAAAGGH!
HA!
HARRY: vriska, eat whatever. HARRY: just not the zebra cakes, those are mine.
(Zebra cakes are kinda Barbasol-bomb-like, right? Doom thing, because black-and-white stripes like most of the black-and-white-striped explosives in Homestuck? –Nah that’s a stretch.)
–That’s not Jane’s head, that’s JOHN’S head giving a thumbs up. Wow.
…Your plan prominently features Yiffy even though you didn’t know she existed until a couple hours ago?
JOHN: so anyway, as you can see, this would have worked just fine! HARRY: no i think karkat’s right. this looks like shit, dad. JOHN: you know, me letting your earlier use of the word “fuck” slide wasn’t a blanket approval for all cursing in front of me. HARRY: sorry. HARRY: try not to make such a shit plan, and i won’t call it that. JOHN: haha wow.
Harry really is his son, wow
HARRY: i mean, i still can’t believe i told vrissy and them to bring a dead celebrity to school. HARRY: what was i THINKING. JOHN: you were thinking it sounded hilarious! JOHN: but yeah, in hindsight, maybe not the best call. JOHN: maybe it’s genetic? HARRY: yeah.
Harry really is his son, wow
HARRY: i kinda can’t believe we’re all still alive, actually. HARRY: and how did YOU make it this far, being so bad at this? JOHN: i had my friends with me, i guess.
Pretty much!
Plus, they haven’t really had time to talk about what happened with Dave, yet, and he doesn’t want to tank the mood by bringing him up.
Glad John’s taken some time to deal with that offscreen, so he can keep being cheery here.
He’d spent so long seeing mostly the best parts of Roxy in Harry Anderson. He forgot, he guesses, to look for himself in there, too. And if what they have in common right now is a lack of strategic foresight, hey, he’ll take it.
Hah, fair enough!
JOHN: speaking of friends, i will say the snacks were a good call, at least! JOHN: i don’t hear any more screaming, anyway. JOHN: see, that’s one good plan between the two of us!
–Oh I thought that was an air-lift! No, they were just diving to the ground with her.
Man, the pacing of this panel-to-panel composition throws me SO much. Stuff happens without being properly established, and we’re shown the wrong keyframes to internalize it easily. (I hope I don’t have to keep mentioning how much I miss Andrew’s talent at it, even though the art WITHIN panels is better here.)
So Jane is confronting them with soldiers.
ROSE: Oh, is this one of those rare and marvelous beasts, the “villain speech”? ROSE: I’ve written one or two in my time. ROSE: I’m on the edge of my seat. I hope it’s better than your political material; I’ve always found that rather trite. JANE: I haven’t given a political speech in years, Ms. Lalonde. I don’t know what you’re referring to. I’m just a simple business woman. JADE: right with her own talk show JADE: and multi billion dollar merchant company and lobbying groups! JANE: That’s what a business woman is, Jade, dear.
–ah, in this perspective maybe Jane DOESN’T have the resources to be “everywhere” yet. Makes more sense that they could’ve left the home unguarded.
JANE: But enough of that. I’ll skip straight to the point. JANE: You are on my territory, in the presence of my secret police, laying your hand on my investment.
QUIT DEHUMANIZING THE GIRL
JANE: You think I come anywhere unprepared? I haven’t left the house without an armed guard in years. ROSE: Is it the libidinous power rush that comes from snapping your fingers at men with guns, or are you worried that you might accidentally do something heroic?
Rose usually has decent snapbacks I guess
I don’t think Rose’s plan was to admit themselves into custody like Jane is asking, but I’m not ruling it out.
(Tavros is playing along, but he doesn’t HAVE to fake that sweat.)
KANAYA: If You Make One Single Move I Will Bite Him Directly On The Exterior Shout Tunnel KANAYA: I Will Turn Your Son Into A Rainbow Drinker KANAYA: Then You Will Have A Rainbow Drinker Son JANE: That’s not how troll vampirism works, don’t treat me like an imbecile! JANE: You think I don’t know everything there is to know about your disgusting biology? KANAYA: KANAYA: Okay Then I Will Just Break His Fucking Neck
HAH
Yeah, mutual child-threat standoff. Jane isn’t going to make that sacrifice, AND can’t be SEEN making that sacrifice.
This is something that she used to do regularly. Hesitate. Stop and think and weigh her options. Talk out every possible scenario and the impact they might have, morally and optically and socially. What would the political apparatus think? What would her social media followers think, her friends? As the years went by and she honed her instincts, she found herself doing this less and less.
Yeah, the difference between deserving a Just death or not is whether you’re willing to check yourself and allow another’s will to override your own. To allow someone who ISN’T you to have a say in how reality unfolds, to consider that what you want may not be right.
The impact that her words made became lessened when spread out across such a wide and thirsty audience, as public sentiment began to swing her way. She stopped thinking about how she would be received, and more about how she could play to the people she knew would receive her favorably.
Yeesh. Topical.
Looking up she sees Tavvy with tears in his eyes. Rage and guilt surge inside her. This situation is not her fault.
Anger is based in fear. Jane is not just afraid for Tavros, but afraid that she’s at fault. And the more she fears and has to deny that, the angrier she’ll get.
JANE: I’m the only one who has taken any interest in her upbringing or education! JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society? JADE: i never asked you to do that! JADE: you offered! JADE: so stop calling me ungrateful for not sucking your dick over things i never asked for!
Taking something that was a clear, ostensibly-selfless gift and using it as a transactional club. I hate that. Nothing shows how transparently little you actually believed in the “selfless thing to do” than that.
She can’t just stand here and let herself be humiliated, allowing two architects of the insurgency mess her around like this.
If they were to kill Tavros, the entire world would see them commit this war crime. And weighed in the balance, Lalonde and Harley would be off the playing board. Saving your daughter certainly counted as a heroic death, and with the damage they’d done to humanity, it would also probably be just.
Tavros has not called out for her once. Perhaps he knows what her choice was always going to be.
Whoa you made that choice pretty easily, psycho-Jane. Are you actually gonna try it???
Is she letting Jade, Rose and Yiffy go? –probably, but it’s unclear.
Damn this panel-to-panel framing not conveying what’s going on properly.
Guess that’s it for now! Patreon Commentary……. I’ve been putting off the commentary backlog for a long time, but I think the Homestuck Commentary coverage deficit still has to wait a while longer because the World Is A Fuck and I have to devote more time to stress relief than usual. Take care y’all
Bloggin’ thru new Homestuck^2 bonus, The Influencers part 2. Kinda got my gears ground during part 1, but that largely wasn’t this sideplot’s fault, so I should still be able to enjoy it.
Reminder, bonus update blogging is always light on detail because I don’t wanna spoil all the paid content, but I’ll give the gist of my reactions and go into anything plot or character related that helps understand the main story, as well as giving you a real top-down view of “what happens” so you know what it’s about and whether or not to invest in looking yourself. (And I don’t necessarily have to give you anything that isn’t main-plot-relevant.)
So where are they going to follow the main party? They shouldn’t need to record the funeral I’d assume, because that already would have been televised (and awful for Jane’s PR)… *click*
Whatever it is, Imode feels it. A tiny string of relevance spooling out from their belly. They want to follow it.
That’s pretty Lighty and/or Seery. I’ve used that terminology to describe the pull of Light and its “relevance” connotations even since the only fanfic I’ve ever written, back in 2011 during Homestuck’s run, and it’s obvious enough terminology that I think Rose later mentioned it somewhere like in the Epilogues. Are these three kids perhaps going to get a fourth, and become their own session by the end of this like Harry, Vrissy, Tavros and Yiffy might?
They can’t stop picturing their friend, Harry Anderson, arrested or tortured or worse. They’re not sure what there is to be done to stop this chain of events, but they’re sure as shit gonna find out.
(”They” is almost certainly referring to Imode here, not all three, since Imode uses they/them.)
Alright, self-aggrandizing used for good. Show off the sort of thing that Vriska could have accomplished if she actually used her talents for her team for once. (Besides, like, the similar thing she did just recently by making a scene.)
IMODE: lemme take a ⏱️ to before we figure out where to go next. AVRIL: wait don’t you know? IMODE: Huh? AVRIL: we were following YOU this whole time.
Oh, that answers the first question I asked. They have NO clue where they’re going. Let’s see if they luck out and find the clock tower.
IMODE: You what he said about the next step to us, same as i did. Don’t you feel it pulling at you?
Literal pull? Powers? Future player? –All baseless speculation of course.
SILAS: Woah are you seein’ this.
Vriska’s probably putting on her very public display now. (This is a bonus so I’m skipping lots of banter and arguing.)
Oh, they just saw John flying up to the clock tower in his outfit. And catching sight of him fly is rare celebrity gossip stuff so of course it’d stand out to them, apparently. (Only one of them is athletic apparently, the other two are groaning at the prospect of more running.)
Avril always enjoys running, but there’s something else thumping along to the rhythm of the thuds of his feet and beat of his heart. He’d thought Imode was nuts for feeling it just a minute prior, but now he’s realized he isn’t deadweight, that he hasn’t fucked up someone’s life irrevocably, and it pushes him faster and faster as he tears ass toward the belltower.
(Did we know Avril was he/him before this? Probably but if so I forgot.)
Okay, since we’re getting glimpses into each of their headspaces narratively that BOTH have had some oblique aspect references, I have to at least OPERATE on a guessy assumption that there’s a sort of classpect-for-each-of-them thing going here.
I’ve quoted both those whole paragraphs here… so what do I see? This is going to be a bit tougher because I don’t care as much to remember these characters…
Imode had some Lighty-or-Seery language, and then could not stop picturing bad things happening to Harry, wanting to avert that chain of events. So something of a Seer or Mage would make sense. But given how easily Lighty stuff and the Understanding classes (or at least what we think those are) can be conflated, Mage of Light seems a bit of a premature jump. Heck, I’m only saying Mage because a Seer of Light already occupies a starring role, and because her first act on that feeling was to jump after it herself and tell the others:
IMODE: Stay here and your way into fame if that’s what you really want. IMODE: I’m ✈️. Follow me if you’re not .
–leading by example rather than directing the others into battle. Only half-caring if they followed, willing to pursue it herself if necessary. So, potentially more “Active”.
As for Avril… the word “heart” is mentioned there, sure, but the full context is “there’s something else thumping along to the rhythm of the thuds of his feet and beat of his heart”. I’m inclined to think that the rhythm/beat references, especially the even footsteps and heartbeats hitting like a metronome, might be more tied to Time? But if so, I don’t see anything class-related. (Could also be Blood, and him thinking of what he owes in the last sentences could be reinforcing that? Big question marks for now.)
Door to the belltower’s locked. The kids figure John’s forgotten that his son can’t fly.
AVRIL: this is it, this is the thing we can help with! #feelinit #vibes IMODE: OK I’m excited that you believe me now, but what are you gonna even do? IMODE: use your big all-star to break down the ?
–so they think they can “resolve a missing plot point” by getting the way into the clock tower open? Is this going to be a theme or running joke of the Influencers sideplot, showing plotholes resolved in bonus content like how we finally saw how Gamzee’s body was relocated last time? When I was explicitly mad about that? (This seems like a much smaller one though.)
Apparently in HS^2 proper they remarked that the door SHOULD be locked, but Vriska just opened it anyway and wasn’t surprised it was unlocked, which she would’ve ascribed to her luck – how the universe just makes way for her. (And we’re literally seeing HOW the “universe” “made way” for her this way, through these Influencer kids. Even though Vriska could have broken down the door in a second and it’s practically meaningless.)
AVRIL: so like my photoshoots are like, #modernfashion #myworkout #urbexp IMODE: Yea, your are why we’re all in this mess. We know. Get to it. AVRIL: fair. ok well this is the urban exploration part. AVRIL: a lot of the public infrastructure buildings in the kingdom have the same weird, shitty deadbolts on them. AVRIL: its like they were mass-produced for ease of access or something. AVRIL: none of the deep crockergov stuff, but a lot of the kingdom maintenance buildings. AVRIL: so once you swipe one key, you got access to it all. AVRIL: that’s how i get a lot of my hard-to-get shots #tradesecrets #tellnoone
Hhhmmmmm. So what does this tell us about his potential role? Getting places you’re not supposed to is associated with the Thief, Rogue, Bard, and sometimes Knight classes… as well as the Time/Space aspects, or the Void and Breath aspects. A Thief or Rogue of Time could do the trick, and fit with the rhythm paragraph earlier… whereas Space doesn’t have the same rhythm associations even if it is “places” he’s getting into for these shots. And photography, snapshots still in time, is something Dave was also explicitly into. Plus, this exploit he’s showcasing is specifically for older buildings, playing into history/archaeology from an urban perspective.
So, Time is looking like a safer and safer bet for him.
SILAS: Yeah, I’m tickled a near-disproportionate amount by the unlockin’ of a door, so I’m inclined to believe you were onto somethin’.
Still no real hints about Silas, yet.
AVRIL: ok so. we did it, right? #missioncomplete AVRIL: feels a little anticlimactic #tbh IMODE: idk, I think so? whatever I was feeling doesn’t seem so immediate anymore. IMODE: I wonder if-
Okay, that’s some near-confirmation that Imode was LITERALLY FEELING the plot or some such. We’ll probably end the Influencers sidestory eventually with at least solid GUESSES blatantly obvious for their potential Hero Roles or the like.
Ah, Vriska and the kids are coming– and we get the Silas paragraph(s)! Silas is green-themed with green text, and a session with a Time player has a good chance of having a Space player too, so let’s see if…
Silas doesn’t know what being spotted by the other kids might mean, metaphysically or logistically or legally. She’s not particularly pressed by that sort of thing. But this is a day that’s come with more introspecting than she’s used to having to endure in a year, so she’s ready to get moving before it becomes an issue.
As Harry Anderson, Vrissy, Vriska, and Tavros proceed to have this conversation, Silas pushes to catch up with Avril’s pace. She’s not sure where they’re headed, and has no clue what all this means for her. She knows the step she’s taken isn’t one she’ll be able to backtrack from, but she’ll figure that out tomorrow. For now, one foot in front of the other.
That…
I mean there’s a lot of talk of time-FRAMES, from a lazy perspective, but just-pushing-forward-in-the-here-and-now is reasonably Spacey? …hm. I was excited for the Silas paragraph(s) but I don’t see any immediately-apparent pattern meant for us to discern classpect info here. Maybe a female Page example (since we could use one), propelled along by events without knowing what’s going on at first, too early in her journey to have taken more than her first step up the gradual incline of her long-term potential?
I really don’t know I guess.
Anyway, that’s the end of the bonus upd8! See ya in a while.
This caught me laaaate at night gosh I’m tired but I’m gonna get it outta the way so it won’t stick in my craw! Already saw the first page, so it’s time for:
Trolls, humans, and papparazzi. Oh, hm, this church is RATHER carapacian isn’t it? Between the chess and the continuing Prospit-Derse themes, like how this corresponds to how they align in the incipisphere top-left to bottom-right if I recall:
(Minus the outlying orbs to the left and right for symmetry.)
That twisted pattern is interesting, and not quite a spirograph. Is that gonna be important later? If we’re going to get some sort of class chart later in the comic, it’d be easy for them to hint at the chart’s graphical structure subtly by dropping it places like here.
JANE: Ladies… JANE: Gentlemen… JANE: News outlets… JANE: And other valued members of the Human Nation State.
Technically true, but still odd to hear– …oh right, I forgot this was asshole dictator-wannabe Jane, too.
I read an interesting twitter thread recently about the intense psychological distinction between wanting to BE the best, and wanting to be TREATED like you’re the best. Epilogues/HS^2 Jane is kind of written as a case study on the pitfalls of leaning on the latter instead of the former.
They brought Yiffy WITH them-!? –Oh right. The hostage exchange was supposed to happen here wasn’t it.
Yiffy definitely looks like a Harley-Lalonde daughter in this shot.
JANE: Gamzee Makara, High Court Jester, exalted saint of the purple veil, has left us to traverse that grand, gay carnival in the sky, where, I am told by various members of the clownly cloth, he will spend the rest of history, honking in grand tribute to the Mirthful Messiah.
SINGULAR???
Weird. Is it because Alt!Callie “won” here?
Or is Jane just forgetting because she’s culturally used to monotheism (ironically) and is insensitive.
JANE: And my first memory of our Purple Prince, was his robust codpiece–
It takes Jake a few seconds of puzzled eye contact before he catches exactly what it is Yiffany is tossing down. In his defense, he is distracted by his wife’s speech, which is doing the emotional equivalent of wringing him out like a wet towel, before using that towel to slap the sweaty buttocks of a large, odorous man. Even if he knows everything she’s saying is a load of horsefeathers, it does nothing for his composure to hear her heap praise on that smelly, homewrecking clown.
Bad things about Gamzee deserve to be said here, yes.
Jake wonders what she’ll say about him, at his own funeral.
Now those are some uncomfortable thoughts.
He narrows his eyes in Yiffany’s direction. She’s a lovely girl, really. He wishes he could have gotten to know her under better circumstances. He’d known she existed, of course–Jane had complained about her often enough–but they’d never had much chance to get acquainted. He rather believes her and Tavvy would have been fast friends.
Then again, perhaps it’s better that she never had much of a chance to get to know his family.
He lets go of the leash.
Yep, there’s a plan to set in motion that he’s probably already discussed with her privately. Gotta unite this four-kid team after all.
Wait, are you ATTACKING?!? –Of course you’re attacking. You would even if the plan was something different, wouldn’t you.
JANE: And I know that at times like these it is easy to want to give in. JANE: To throw in the towel, and turn our faces away from the light of democracy and moral fortitude that we, the citizens of the human kingdom, are blessed with from birth. JANE: God knows I’ve had my own faith tested in the last few weeks.
Jesus Christ, what has she turned the place into, a fucking theocracy?
She sounds like the leader of some screwed-up, fundamentalist country! Like the United States!
*rimshot*
JANE: As many of you know, I did not grow up with the same privileges that all of you enjoy.
Jesus.
JANE: I was born on proto-Earth, that half-finished dystopia mangled by the ravages of foolish leadership and endless war.
Jesus, she really IS a self-evident takedown of hypocritical entitled political figures. With the bonuses having Jasprose explicitly ADDRESS said entitlement to make things even clearer cut.
JANE: And as for Gamzee, well, his upbringing was even worse. JANE: He was born to a violent and uncaring home, a lonely child with few natural gifts.
She’s just, shaking with fury here isn’t she? And about to perform an impressive corpse-lob.
JANE: It would be simple to let this disgusting, vile, SHAMEFUL act of spiteful revenge turn us away from the blinding light of the sword of justice that hangs over us all–
This sentence seems suspicious so I’m quoting it to refer to later if I need to, but is probably just platitudes.
Wow, those horrified audience members. She REALLY can’t even see herself anymore can she? Not even hear herself. And they’re making sure this is pointed out to EVERYONE watching. They described this as in large part a PR campaign to defeat her, didn’t they?
Great furious businesswoman-villain look, that art.
JANE: But when that pain! Becomes too hard! To endure! JANE: Remember poor, lifeless Gamzee! Who suffered pain far worse than any of us could ever fathom! JANE: THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL!
DIRK: Dude, didn’t you lower the voltage on that shock collar? DIRK: Little Red isn’t looking so hot. JAKE: Yes of course i did but the damn doohickys got the kick of a donkey! JAKE: I couldnt remove it completely shed know i was the one who did it! DIRK: Well, if that supervillain cuntwaffle doesn’t stop, she’s going to kill her. Not really the best at hostage management, is she.
Decent plan. (And of course Dirk would pull out the word cunt.) When’s the cavalry coming?
JANE: But we cannot allow his memory to be in vain! JANE: For Gamzee Makara taught us that even the most loathsome degenerate can take their place in society. JANE: All they need is the right redemption arc - !
Trying to hammer home some of the Epilogue’s trolly-critical themes a little less bleakly, I take it.
I kind of like the violent vibration in ALL of these gifs in a row. It makes the scene seem small, slow, teeth-clenching but still full of steady action, emphasizing the importance of the relatively small events from panel to panel while giving them the sense with the animation of them being [i]drawn out[/i] and tortuous instead of just “occurring”. It feels that way to me, anyway.
If he got up alive here, that’d be hilarious. (Presumably he’s been treated and done-up like a normal funeral body, not “dormant” and undecaying like a dead god-tier.)
JANE: Young lady, I am just about at the end of my rope with you. JANE: Throw all the dog bowls you want at the walls of my warship. JANE: But don’t you dare act up in front of a JANE: Live JANE: Fucking JANE: Newsfeed! YIFFY: Grrrrrr
What did you expect to happen? Do you expect to shout her down from this, Jane?
JANE: After everything I’ve done for you–paying for your education, helping your parents cover up your existence from the world! JANE: Just imagine what Rose and Jade would say if they could see you now, even dissidents can have a little decorum! JANE: Get down from there at once! YIFFY: Grrrrrr
But this is GAMZEE. –I guess it’s seriously disrespectful to his followers, though. Still. If you wanted civility from her, a shock collar, leash, and food bowl wasn’t the way to go about it.
JANE: Don’t you threaten me, young lady. Not today! YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR
What is your PLAN even, Jane? You’ve completely disregarded her.
JANE: There’s nowhere for you to go. My agents are swarming this church. Be reasonable, Yiffany. JANE: Ugh. JANE: Disgusting name. JANE: But that’s hardly your fault. You were always just a footnote. Your parents’ little prank. JANE: Honestly, that’s why I helped them all those years ago! I do love a good jape. JANE: But let’s be serious. JANE: You don’t matter. If you did, they would have come for you already.
Can all the press hear her being such an asshole?
Okay, stereotypically, their arrival should be the next couple panels:
And she does. Seemingly at the end of her tolerance for insults toward her name, social status, and heritage, Yiffy performs an impressive backflip off the podium and down onto the church floor. One that, if it hadn’t been happening amidst a sea of other newsworthy events, would surely have ended up on someone’s instagram story within thirty seconds. She gives Gamzee’s corpse one last parting kick: a hard, proper kick that proves those cleats aren’t just for fashion. Although they are certainly also for fashion.
Good, good.
He vanishes into the seething crowd, and we are confident that we will never have to deal with this asshole ever again.
Jake watches this from a safe distance, poised on the edge of intervening to pull Yiffy out of there. But in the end he doesn’t have to. Instead he watches in admiration as she tears the place to utter shreds. An echoing sympathy swells inside of him as she rends apart the funeral flowers and punts Gamzee into the shrieking congregation. Here is a girl who felt the cold, indecent hand of fate wrapping around her, and instead of submitting to it and slowly sublimating down into morasse of boiled doormat, she slapped it away from her with a lively oh, no thank you.
All at once, Jake feels immense affection for his granddaughter. He hopes the two of them can make up for lost time.
Lessons belatedly learned, but learned nonetheless.
[Image description: A collection of rough, coloured sketches of Homestuck characters, mostly depicting characters or scenes from Homestuck^2.
In the top left is Yiffy, swearing profusely while Candy!Jade clasps her hands and says “I’m so proud of her.” Yiffy is labeled ‘Best Character’.
In the top right is Terezi in her Meat outfit, happily traipsing along with her tongue out.
Middle-left is Harry Anderson, Floating along with a tape measure drawn.
Dead middle is John/June Egbert, floating aimlessly in god-tier jammies with a trans flag in one hand. The words 'April 13th’ are squished between the skethces.
Right-middle is Vriska and Vrissy. Vriska says “Alright, let’s 8e child soldiers, l8l.” with her hands on her hips. Vrissy says “ha ha, I’m in d8nger.”
Bottom-left is two sketches of Karkat and Dave. In the first, Dave is looking up at Karkat, seated on a washing machine, saying “wonk.” In the next, Karkat takes off his shades and says “Take these stupid things off and wonk at me properly, you fucking cretin,” making Dave blush furiously.
Bottom-right is Tavros Crocker, sitting with his head in his hands with a caption that says 'wishing his aunt/sister was a better kidnapper.’ End description.]
Happy birth June hope things get better for ya soon.
I had a paper ult!Dirk that I made out of boredom for a couple of weeks now, right, BUT THEN THE UPD8 JUST DROPS IN WITH THE BRAIN GHOST DIRK IN A NEARLY IDENTICAL POSE. And I’m, like, “well HELL. Now I’ma have to make him too??” And so I did.
They even had a little encounter.
And then ult!Dirk has fallen. Both literally and figuratively.
Also yes, I literally just made myself a katana for the sole purpose of pointing it at paper ult!Dirk in the shot above. I regret nothing. It’s awesome.
