i saw this image and immediately felt so excited, but also so relieved.
you see– the thing about dysfunctional family mediators/providers is that media tends to portray them as “too mature” for comfort objects. in media, i see them rarely go for toys (or any comforting object in general), and they seem to have a detachment with anything that, frankly, isn’t things like books/studies/cooking/cleaning.
while it’s understandable, it’s off-putting to me, as someone who was a dysfunctional family mediator/provider. i, too, went through most of my life believing these kinds of things were immature and believed that deriving comfort and friendship from them was my hollow attempt at living life as a child, which i’ve never been able to do.
this, clearly, is false and it took me a long time to learn it. comfort objects are important and helpful for people of all ages, and the fact that so many adults are scorned from having them saddens me deeply.
i also, growing up with that bad mentality, went through years where i wouldn’t do childish things anymore, like watch cartoons, play pretend by myself with dolls (though i still loved my dolls; never threw them out ofc), but that faded away after i was in a terrible place, and childish things were the only escape that i had.
i came back to them. i loved them. i love my dolls dearly, and being near them was (and still is) incredibly important to me. it’s grounding to feel/hold them and it’s calming to see them.
this is why i’m so happy to see a character similar to me that has dolls, especially a male character. it’s so comforting and the hns team has no idea how much it meant to me to see images of maki around dolls.
for reference, i say images because this image is also so important to me.
maki being the type to derive comfort from dolls is incredibly important and such good representation for kids, teens, and adults to see!
i really hope that they show more of maki’s doll, or, at least, show it canonly a few times in the show.
from what we’ve seen maki say to club members and what we’ve seen maki’s dad do to him, we can justifiably assume that maki’s dad only hits him with his body parts: hands, legs, etc., and since maki has told off members for using weapons, we can assume his dad probably taught him that it’s cowardly to fight with anything but your own body. to back this up– maki didn’t flinch or anything when his dad picked up the racket and held it, but he did flinch when his dad balled his hand into a fist.
i was always taught to fight with my own power, too, so this is pretty relatable. it’s interesting to see, considering a lot of abusive anime media features hitting kids with beer bottles or household items– which i know isn’t bad representation. it does happen a lot, but many abusive dads are the types that pride themselves on using their own strength (even if it’s on someone weaker, they still take pride in it), and i feel like that isn’t represented enough.
Abuse breeds all sorts of issues and severe disorders that stay with you long-term.
Nao is losing his sense of self and delved deep into a state where he’s detached from his emotions, morals, logic, and his own reality.
When you’re detached or in a dissociative state, your own reality is warped. You lose who you are and what you stand for. This scene was incredibly relatable for me.
In some cases - like Nao’s - you tend to do bad things, because you can’t process the action or why it’s wrong. His abuse bred apathy, detachment, and pathological lying to help him cope.
This is some excellent character writing, for every one of these characters across the board.
I don’t think we talk enough about situations like this one.
This is an incredibly hard place to be in, and I know how it feels.
Maki and his father’s dynamic is different than Tsubasa’s. Despite how awful his father is, Tsubasa craves his father’s love. His father’s approval. He wants his father to understand him, and that’s one of the many reasons why people like Tsubasa who are abused stay silent.
An abusive parent isn’t just something you can cast away, especially if you’re attached to them in any way. Coming out can change your entire life.
You could be torn from the rest of your family, your abuser could be taken to prison and it could hurt your family (i.e. they’re the main provider and pay the bills), or the authorities won’t believe you, and you end up at odds with your family and getting hurt more by your abuser.
All of these can cause huge rifts in your relationships. People blaming you, disbelieving you. People thinking you should’ve just kept quiet.
I feel for this doctor, because I wouldn’t want a suffering child lying to my face, and I couldn’t do anything drastic unless they tell me the truth.
