Simpler times…

I miss the simpler times when a telephone was all you had to communicate with someone. No social media, no texting, no blocking someone. You were forced to communicate or listen to the obnoxious phone ring over and over until you answered. Heck I even remember tying a string to two cans and playing telephone as a kid (still confused by that as it is a bit too much science for this blonde brain to comprehend how those two cans and a string worked)…

I wanted to reach out to you the other day. I reached out last month on the day of the Star and you forgave me. The intent was not to get a response but to bring something to light. To bring to your attention that I made you feel. And that is why you walked away. There is no other reason. But I chose not to send the email as I do not wish to be a hard limit pusher. You need to heal on your own terms, as I am mine. Please don’t misunderstand this post, for me, to write is to heal, to speak my truth and my needs come first. I am not selfish. That is the dynamic. I am happy you walked away this time as you were correct, I was not healing, you were a distraction. You were right, I wasn’t focused on my work.

I will trust that when/if that time comes I won’t need to seek the cards or outside sources, I will trust myself and that it’s the right time. I will trust that I will know without a shadow of a doubt when the right time will be to post this to the masses. Hoping you read. And it may never happen. Parts of this letter are over 2 months old, from our first lesson. You may just be a chapter in my life. An incredible one but who knows, only time will tell. For now I hold space for you as our story was pure magic and you said you would wait until June. But I have no idea if you’ll be at the other end of this journey, sadly I am not psychic.

I recognize that that I anxiously attached to you. Shut down the entire world except focusing on you, feeling a deep connection with just you, but that is not healthy. I need balance, strength and justice. I need to sit in the space and recognize why I chose you. It is my choice to choose you and your choice to choose me. Free will is a beautiful thing. You’re not the only person in the world. You don’t have to be a mathematician to recognize that there is way more than 1 person in the world for me. The subject of “The One” is beautiful but there are many ones, it’s just about who are we willing to work it out with, who are we meeting at the right time in our lives. So I need to sit in this space and recognize that you were brought into my life. And I was brought into yours. I chose you, and you chose me, and you said you would wait, but you have walked away three times now. Was it truly for my healing, or yours or some other lesson. I currently trust that it is all 3. And it may not be our time. I am doing the work without you, focused on the end goal. Up for the challenge. I heard you when you said I was jeopardizing my healing and myself for you, because by accepting that you are my Sir, my owner, my master and my divine union, I give myself over to you completely. That is submission. You were shocked by the transformation. And I accept that scared you. It made you feel. Not something you wanted. But do you need it? It’s a intimidating thing. I am sorry I triggered you, but to be triggered is to heal. If you choose to process. I hope you see that. Because in order to be in a life with me you will need to be open and honest and true to who you are, you will need to no longer deny your heart, your truth or your magic. To return to me, you will need to walk through the door knowing you’re entering a divine spiritual union.

To know is to enter.
To enter is to heal.
To heal is to love.

Hear me. I know you listen, but do you hear me? See me? Feel me?

Humbly yours,
XO