I miss the simpler times when a telephone was all you had to communicate with someone. No social media, no texting, no blocking someone. You were forced to communicate or listen to the obnoxious phone ring over and over until you answered. Heck I even remember tying a string to two cans and playing telephone as a kid (still confused by that as it is a bit too much science for this blonde brain to comprehend how those two cans and a string worked)…
I wanted to reach out to you the other day. I reached out last month on the day of the Star and you forgave me. The intent was not to get a response but to bring something to light. To bring to your attention that I made you feel. And that is why you walked away. There is no other reason. But I chose not to send the email as I do not wish to be a hard limit pusher. You need to heal on your own terms, as I am mine. Please don’t misunderstand this post, for me, to write is to heal, to speak my truth and my needs come first. I am not selfish. That is the dynamic. I am happy you walked away this time as you were correct, I was not healing, you were a distraction. You were right, I wasn’t focused on my work.
I will trust that when/if that time comes I won’t need to seek the cards or outside sources, I will trust myself and that it’s the right time. I will trust that I will know without a shadow of a doubt when the right time will be to post this to the masses. Hoping you read. And it may never happen. Parts of this letter are over 2 months old, from our first lesson. You may just be a chapter in my life. An incredible one but who knows, only time will tell. For now I hold space for you as our story was pure magic and you said you would wait until June. But I have no idea if you’ll be at the other end of this journey, sadly I am not psychic.
I recognize that that I anxiously attached to you. Shut down the entire world except focusing on you, feeling a deep connection with just you, but that is not healthy. I need balance, strength and justice. I need to sit in the space and recognize why I chose you. It is my choice to choose you and your choice to choose me. Free will is a beautiful thing. You’re not the only person in the world. You don’t have to be a mathematician to recognize that there is way more than 1 person in the world for me. The subject of “The One” is beautiful but there are many ones, it’s just about who are we willing to work it out with, who are we meeting at the right time in our lives. So I need to sit in this space and recognize that you were brought into my life. And I was brought into yours. I chose you, and you chose me, and you said you would wait, but you have walked away three times now. Was it truly for my healing, or yours or some other lesson. I currently trust that it is all 3. And it may not be our time. I am doing the work without you, focused on the end goal. Up for the challenge. I heard you when you said I was jeopardizing my healing and myself for you, because by accepting that you are my Sir, my owner, my master and my divine union, I give myself over to you completely. That is submission. You were shocked by the transformation. And I accept that scared you. It made you feel. Not something you wanted. But do you need it? It’s a intimidating thing. I am sorry I triggered you, but to be triggered is to heal. If you choose to process. I hope you see that. Because in order to be in a life with me you will need to be open and honest and true to who you are, you will need to no longer deny your heart, your truth or your magic. To return to me, you will need to walk through the door knowing you’re entering a divine spiritual union.
To know is to enter. To enter is to heal. To heal is to love.
Hear me. I know you listen, but do you hear me? See me? Feel me?
Today I thought I would talk about a band that I hold very near and dear to my heart: Imagine Dragons. They were the first band I ever fell in love with as a young adult, the first concert I ever attended by myself and the first band I ever saw live more than once (sadly only twice, the perks of living in South America smh).
The first time I heard one of their songs was back in 2014 and I’ve been a fan of their music ever since. I gotta admit tho, I’m not that keen on their recent stuff :/ but with that said, I do appreciate everything they do and I plan to support them always ♥
To be honest, I feel like they’re underappreciated and get too much hate for absolutely no reason. I mean, they do a lot for charity, they are outspoken supporters of the LGBTQ+ community, they’ve helped a lot of people through their music and in top of that, they have magnificent lyrics! Everyone needs to get off their backs ffs
Following are my top 10 favourite songs by them.
First of all, a few honorable mentions: Whatever It Takes,Believer,Rise Up andNatural.
10.- Warriors
Number 10 on my list goes to Warriors, a song the band wrote and recorded for the 2014 League of Legends World Championships and that ultimately ended up in the deluxe version of Smoke + Mirrors, their sophomore album, and the best one yet imo.
I’ve always found it truly empowering, specially because of the lyrics, but also because of the theatrical vibes the overall melody gives off.
9.- The Fall
Next is The Fall, the last track of the standard version of Smoke + Mirrors. The song deals with the loneliness and depression usually associated with the cooling temperatures of autumn. Despite the gloomy theme, it shows a hopeful side as well, finishing with the lyrics “I’m ready for the fall, ready for the leaves, ready for the colours to burn to gold and crumble away”. It makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay.
8.- It Comes Back To You
At this point we’re clear on what my favourite album by them is, right?
I feel like this song is very overlooked by everyone and I’m not sure why. The lyrics talk about Dan Reynolds’ battle with depression, but again there’s a positive twist: despite all the hardships, everything that you might have otherwise lost will come back to you if you can see it through. Keep going ♥
7.- Dream
This song is so sad yet so beautiful at the same time. It brings tears to my eyes everytime I listen to it, and I honestly feel so fortunate to have been able to experience it live.
6.- Hopeless Opus
Following we have Hopeless Opus, again from Smoke + Mirrors. To be honest, that record is like a windwhirl of emotions. This time, the story is told from the perspective of someone that’s reflecting on their life, and that’s not content with the person they’ve turned out to be, with lyrics like “I’m trying not to face what I’ve done” and “I’m trying not to face what’s become of me”. Very moving.
5.- I Bet My Life
The first few times I heard this track, I must admit I wasn’t that bothered by it, because musically it didn’t seem *that* interesting, specifically the chorus tends to get a bit annoying over time. Nonetheless, once I paid attention to the lyrics, I was sold. I Bet My Life is a song about forgiveness, and it touches on Dan’s relationship with his parents, with whom he had a lot of disagreements with while growing up.
4.- Amsterdam
Now that we’re reaching the top, we’re throwing it back to the good old days ♥
I don’t have a specific or meaningful reason of why I love Amsterdam, other than nostalgia I guess. It was one of the first songs by Imagine Dragons that I ever listened to and its sound it’s part of what drew me to them.
3.- Hear Me
Hear Me is another one of those songs that brings me back. I feel its lyrics touch my soul (not to be dramatic or anything lol)
“Can nobody hear me?
I got a lot that’s on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it too?”
2.- Radioactive
Hear me out, okay?! I know Radioactive is suuuper overplayed, and if you say it’s your favourite song by the band, “true” fans will roll their eyes and call you a fake fan. I don’t care.
There’s a reason it’s so popular, it’s bloody good, okay?! My favourite part is the drum solo during the live performances, amazing.
1.- Demons
“Can I share something with you? This is something I’ve been sharing in this entire tour, and it’s important to me to express, to hopefully be a part of some sort of change in our future. Our youths across the world everyday are diagnosed with depression and anxiety. There are millions and millions of people who deal with this on a daily basis. They’re not seeking attention. They’re not making it up. They’re not looking for you to give them some sort of present for it, or for it to be a sob story. It’s a real thing. I was diagnosed with depression many years ago. It’s been part of my life, it’s been part of my story, but it never stopped me from doing anything that I wanted to do in this world. For those of you who are struggling with depression, anxiety, I stand with you. I love you. I understand the grey, I understand the numb. Hang on, it gets better. There is light. Speak to a family member, speak to a friend. If you can, go to a therapist. These things are not something we should be ashamed of. You are not broken. You can go on to do all the things that you wanna do in life, I promess. Above all, the reason I shared this is because, above all, your life is always worth living. Please, never ever take your life from us. We need you. We’re enjoying this human experience together. So, spread the love, see the light in the world, turn off the internet for a while and see each other’s faces and eyes, and feel each other’s hearts, and exist, and just… love. That’s it, it’s simple. This is a song about that, it’s called Demons”.
-Dan Reynolds, Lollapalooza Chile 2018
This man had me fuckin crying my eyes out in that crowd. I don’t think I need to say any more than that.
