i saw a tiktok the other day that so accurately described being aroace and having such strong platonic feelings for someone but it’s so overwhelming but i CANT FIND THE FUCKING TIKTOK ANYMORE so please reply with it/where i can find it/what happened to it
it sounds like we’re going through sort of the same thing, not the tiktok but the STRONG as hell platonic feelings for someone as an aroace.
i’m going to rant a bit here just abt what’s going on in my mind lately (i define as aroace) and hopefully it can help me, you reading this, the account i reblogged this from, idk
so there’s this girl
i feel EXTREME aesthetic attraction towards her, she is just so beautiful
nothing sexual, my asexuality is secure, that’s for sure
i rlly like her personality, the way she lights up and smiles and how she’s amazingly talented and smart and so genuinely kind
i tried imagining doing typical romantic things w/ her, it was..okay?
when i see her in person, immediate repulsion to the idea of doing romantic things w/ her (which happens to me, an aro, quite often so i wasn’t surprised)
but i just…i don’t know. i get so nervous & excited & happy when she texts me
i think rlly hard abt what i’m going to say, i just want to like, impress her. i’ve never felt like that before
i really really want to just know her and be emotionally/intellectually in tune w/ her ig
i’m not sure if i want a qpr w/ her, or if i could even get one if i tried but
idk she’s just really sweet and cares abt me and i care abt her and it makes my aro identity feel violated, even though i truly know it’s not romantic
also um hugs
she hugged me abt 2 or 3 months ago and it was so comforting help
anyways
YES THIS!!!!! ABSOLUTELY THIS
like when i picture or think about doing ‘romantic-like’ stuff with them (going on dates, holding hands, etc) it’s totally fine, because my brain just goes ‘yeah, you like this person platonically, they’re really cool’
idk if i actually want/will pursue a QPR with them, but i’m content with not! i like being around them, i feel envious of people who are around them more than i can be, i want to impress them more than other people, and i feeldifferently about them than i feel about other people
but i KNOW they’re platonic feeling - doing anything in a romantic context with them (or anyone really) isn’t for me - but the platonic feeling i have for them is really intense and strong. when they said ‘i love you’ to me after i gave them something, i felt it in my bones. and when i play video games with them, it’s different than when i do it with my other friends.
yeah i’m just glad other people feel that as well :]
THANK YOU DEAR LORD THIS IS EXACTLY IT
ALL I KNOW IS THAT ITS PLATONIC, STRONG AND AH PRETTY AND STRONG GIRL WHOS RLLY COOL AND KIND AND PRETTY AND STRONG AND IS THIS WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE WELL SHIT
Lux: You’re dying. Quick, what’s you type? Jinx: Oh yeah, dark, taller than me, shatters time, white hair, literally my enemy! Lux: ?? Lux: I meant blood type! Jinx: That I don’t know. Ask Vi. Vi: Obviously red!
- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona
- And Nebraska’s own Josh Swain, from Omaha.
(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)
-All the local news stations were there
- The majority of attendees were from out of state
- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.
- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain’s newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.
- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale
- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:
Josh Swain (Prime)
Josh Swain (Secondary)
Medieval Josh (full chain mail armor)
Spider Josh (x2)
“Josh Wick” (had pool noodles mounted to two electric drills for spin-attack capabilities)
Furry Josh (A Josh in a fursuit)
Big Josh (A large man with the words “Big Josh” painted on his bare torso, and “Dad Bod” painted on his back. Armed with pool noodle wolverine claws)
Little Josh (A small boy of about 5 years old)
Luchador Josh
Roman Centurion Josh
The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.
The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was….
LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.
The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.
pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.
As for Josh Prime, he seemed like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children’s Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.
(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)
So anyway. Shoutout to the one and only Josh Swain.
There I was, standing in the photo op line with the inspiration of my life just one room away …
My heart started pounding, my hands started sweating, the thoughts started rushing: “how did I get here?? I am not worthy enough for his presence?? does my hair look okay?? god, I can’t even believe I thought I could do this. I think I might throw up or pass out or both. I’ve been waiting for this for so long…I fought for this moment I better not screw it up.”
All this going on internally while I managed to keep a calm and collected exterior.
As I entered the photo op room and kept trying to calm down I dared to look up to see the gorgeous, compassionate, giant, heroic man we have all been lucky and blessed to know: the one and only Jared Padalecki.
And instantly, I could breathe comfortably once again.
Just being in his presence was enough to make me feel like this was the one place where I finally belonged. Anybody could practically feel the joy radiating off of him from miles away. In this room I felt good. I felt safe. I felt understood. But most importantly, I felt truly happy.
My nerves turned into butterflies. My pained expression from trying to keep calm turned into the biggest smile I had smiled in months. My anxiety turned into the greatest excitement I had ever felt in my entire life.
It was in that moment where I truly felt the “pinch me I swear to god I am dreaming” feeling you get when you can’t believe what’s happening.
But this was real.
As I got closer and closer to Jared I memorized whatever I could so that I could remember that moment for the rest of my life. I made sure to remember that he was wearing jeans with the “Love” campaign sweatshirt. I noted that he had a little bit of a beard growing in. I remembered him wearing a nice watch on his left wrist as well as his wedding ring. I observed how he towered over every fan that went before me (cue the ‘damn, he really is tall’ realization). I tried my best to fill my mind with these details and more so I could have a thorough memory to cherish forever.
It was finally my turn to meet him. He turned to me and, well, me being me kind of panicked and blanked and spit out the first thing that I could think of:
“Oh my god you’re beautiful,” I said.
I will forever mentally slap myself for that one.
He responded, “No, you’re beautiful!” then flashed his adorable smile to me. (I died)
I then smiled back at him and, again, me being me just kind of froze not knowing what to do so Jared opened his long arms and said, “Well what are you waiting for get in here!”
I beamed at him and wrapped my arms around him and took a quick second to cherish the fact that I was getting a bone-crushing hug from Jared Padalecki. I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude and will always remember what it felt like to be in Jared Padalecki’s arms, looking at a camera, and seeing the line of people in my peripheral vision going through the same thoughts and feelings I had been going through just seconds before.
Unfortunately my moment ended just as quickly as it had started. With my brain being mush and a whole line of people behind me, I didn’t want to even try to make a conversation (not that you’re supposed to but some people do). I didn’t try to tell him my sob story, I didn’t try to tell him how much he means to me, hell, I didn’t even try to tell him my name.
But we pulled back from the embrace and as I started to walk away I looked at him and said one simple sentence:
“I love you so much; thank you for everything.”
And that was enough.
He took my hand and said, “No, thank you darling. (then he winked at me and i died) I love you too.”
And I walked out of that room with the biggest and stupidest grin I think I could possibly ever muster. I was beyond satisfied with how it went. I was so so happy. I didn’t cry and it came out super cute. And I have an idea for my photo at this year’s convention in San Francisco (*ahem ahem* pls read my post about sfcon 2017 I WANNA MAKE FRIENDS WHO ARE GOING AHH).
So there’s the story of when I met Jared Padalecki. I wanted to write this and post it in honor of his birthday, though in pretty much all of the world except Hawaii his birthday is over… Well then this is me saying happy belated birthday to Jared.
Happy belated birthday my inspiration and my hero. I hope it was the best. <3
also for those of you wondering why my latest jared story has “again” in parenthesis, here’s the story of when i met jared for the first time :)
