There I was, standing in the photo op line with the inspiration of my life just one room away …
My heart started pounding, my hands started sweating, the thoughts started rushing: “how did I get here?? I am not worthy enough for his presence?? does my hair look okay?? god, I can’t even believe I thought I could do this. I think I might throw up or pass out or both. I’ve been waiting for this for so long…I fought for this moment I better not screw it up.”
All this going on internally while I managed to keep a calm and collected exterior.
As I entered the photo op room and kept trying to calm down I dared to look up to see the gorgeous, compassionate, giant, heroic man we have all been lucky and blessed to know: the one and only Jared Padalecki.
And instantly, I could breathe comfortably once again.
Just being in his presence was enough to make me feel like this was the one place where I finally belonged. Anybody could practically feel the joy radiating off of him from miles away. In this room I felt good. I felt safe. I felt understood. But most importantly, I felt truly happy.
My nerves turned into butterflies. My pained expression from trying to keep calm turned into the biggest smile I had smiled in months. My anxiety turned into the greatest excitement I had ever felt in my entire life.
It was in that moment where I truly felt the “pinch me I swear to god I am dreaming” feeling you get when you can’t believe what’s happening.
But this was real.
As I got closer and closer to Jared I memorized whatever I could so that I could remember that moment for the rest of my life. I made sure to remember that he was wearing jeans with the “Love” campaign sweatshirt. I noted that he had a little bit of a beard growing in. I remembered him wearing a nice watch on his left wrist as well as his wedding ring. I observed how he towered over every fan that went before me (cue the ‘damn, he really is tall’ realization). I tried my best to fill my mind with these details and more so I could have a thorough memory to cherish forever.
It was finally my turn to meet him. He turned to me and, well, me being me kind of panicked and blanked and spit out the first thing that I could think of:
“Oh my god you’re beautiful,” I said.
I will forever mentally slap myself for that one.
He responded, “No, you’re beautiful!” then flashed his adorable smile to me. (I died)
I then smiled back at him and, again, me being me just kind of froze not knowing what to do so Jared opened his long arms and said, “Well what are you waiting for get in here!”
I beamed at him and wrapped my arms around him and took a quick second to cherish the fact that I was getting a bone-crushing hug from Jared Padalecki. I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude and will always remember what it felt like to be in Jared Padalecki’s arms, looking at a camera, and seeing the line of people in my peripheral vision going through the same thoughts and feelings I had been going through just seconds before.
Unfortunately my moment ended just as quickly as it had started. With my brain being mush and a whole line of people behind me, I didn’t want to even try to make a conversation (not that you’re supposed to but some people do). I didn’t try to tell him my sob story, I didn’t try to tell him how much he means to me, hell, I didn’t even try to tell him my name.
But we pulled back from the embrace and as I started to walk away I looked at him and said one simple sentence:
“I love you so much; thank you for everything.”
And that was enough.
He took my hand and said, “No, thank you darling. (then he winked at me and i died) I love you too.”
And I walked out of that room with the biggest and stupidest grin I think I could possibly ever muster. I was beyond satisfied with how it went. I was so so happy. I didn’t cry and it came out super cute. And I have an idea for my photo at this year’s convention in San Francisco (*ahem ahem* pls read my post about sfcon 2017 I WANNA MAKE FRIENDS WHO ARE GOING AHH).
So there’s the story of when I met Jared Padalecki. I wanted to write this and post it in honor of his birthday, though in pretty much all of the world except Hawaii his birthday is over… Well then this is me saying happy belated birthday to Jared.
Happy belated birthday my inspiration and my hero. I hope it was the best. <3
also for those of you wondering why my latest jared story has “again” in parenthesis, here’s the story of when i met jared for the first time :)
I had no idea what to expect this time. I didn’t even know what I wanted to say to Jared until about 10 minutes beforehand. Well, actually, I knew exactly what I wanted to do and say and I had known for months … I was just too nervous to carry it out because of my fear of being questioned about it afterwards.
I knew this year that I wanted to genuinely tell Jared how much he means to me, or at least begin to scratch the surface. I knew that I wanted to tell him how he’s helped me through a lot of shitty times with his campaign work, his openness about his mental health struggles, and simply being the compassionate person he is. I wanted to tell him that he is my light, my rock, my inspiration. Most importantly, I wanted to make a promise.
In the ‘Notes’ app on my phone, I have a note from January 29, 2017 that says, “i really really want a photo op with jared padalecki of us with our pinkies wrapped around each other’s so i’ll have a reminder for myself that i pinky promised jared padalecki to always keep fighting against my struggles with anxiety and depression.” I went to the San Francisco convention with this heavy in my heart and prominent in my mind, but I knew if I did this my family and friends would ask me to explain. I didn’t want to explain it to them because I knew they weren’t going to understand. I was afraid they’d call it dumb, pointless, a waste of money. I was scared they would tell me it doesn’t mean anything because he’s “just another superficial celebrity and doesn’t care about you.” But instead of listening to the anxious thoughts in my head, I decided to do what my heart most deeply desired.
So as I found myself in the same anxiety-provoking photo op line that I had been through one year before, I tried to prepare exactly how I wanted to voice my thoughts to Jared. The last thing I wanted to do was hold up the line and have everyone get mad at me, so I was trying to figure out how to make it quick and easy.
As the line moved along, I watched him interact with other members of the SPN Family just like me. I noticed (once again) how he seemed to tower over every single person he spoke to. I remember the girls in front of me being super nervous, not in the fangirling sort of way, but in the quiet-because-i-am-speechless-and-might-faint sort of way and an “I’m Alive” member distracting them from their nerves.
It was at this point that I started to tear up as I realized what I was about to do and I mentally kicked myself until I had my emotions under control.
I remember the door to outside was open, causing a strong draft to make its way through the room. I remember standing at the front of the line and feeling the butterflies in my stomach intensify by 100% and next thing I knew I was talking to the one person who gives me hope and makes me feel loved in this world.
He turned to me and flashed his beautiful smile to me just like he did one year prior, and instantly I felt relaxed once again. I felt calm, like this was the most normal thing in the world, and I felt happy. And out of nowhere, a small but sudden burst of confidence flowed through me and I found my voice. As I began talking he held onto both my hands and leaned down close to my face so that he could hear me over the blaring music in the room.
“I was wondering if for the photo op, we could be hugging but with our pinkies wrapped around each other because after all that I’ve been through, I want to promise you right now that I will always keep fighting,” I said.
I watched his facial features as he realized what I said; he pulled away. He bent down, looked at me in the eye and held his hand up for a high five. When our hands came in contact he interlaced his fingers with mine, as he said, “I am so proud of you.”
I smiled the biggest smile I had in months. We got into the pose, Chris took the photo, and Jared just embraced me. He hugged me tighter than I had ever been hugged before (actually, that’s debatable after the sandwich op I had with Jared and Jensen just an hour beforehand). I can’t describe his scent because I couldn’t think coherently enough in the moment to put words to it. I just remember feeling safe and comforted by it.
I said, “Thank you so much for all you’ve done because it’s helped me more than you could ever know.”
He pulled away, grabbed my hands again, and spoke to me while staring intently into my eyes, “It will get better, ok? You will be better. You just have to hang in there and keep fighting.”
“Okay,” I said, too enraptured to form any other words.
“Promise?” he asked.
I smiled, nodded, and held out my pinky again, “I pinky promise,” I said before he wrapped his pinky around mine.
I then made my way out of the room and reflected on everything that had happened, and everything I wanted to say at autographs later that night (that’s another story. a shorter story, but another story).
Now looking back, I think my only regret throughout all my encounters with Jared was that I never mentioned my name. I don’t know why but my heart just really wishes that I did.
All in all, it was the best day of my life, and my picture turned out better than I ever imagined. In that moment, Jared had all of his attention on me and listened to what I said and took it to heart. It was one of the most important moments of my life, and he made me feel like I was important to him. He made me feel loved. He made me feel like there was and there still is hope for my complete recovery. He is my reason to keep fighting. And I could never thank him enough for that.
i know it’s been a while since i’ve posted this but i just wanted to say wow thank you for all the kind words and love y'all have shown to my story. it truly was a moment that i’ll never forget, & as school has been starting up & getting horrible again i find myself putting myself back in this moment. jared truly is a light in this world & i hope that all of you get to experience a jared hug or some jared comfort some time in your life. <3
I had no idea what to expect this time. I didn’t even know what I wanted to say to Jared until about 10 minutes beforehand. Well, actually, I knew exactly what I wanted to do and say and I had known for months … I was just too nervous to carry it out because of my fear of being questioned about it afterwards.
I knew this year that I wanted to genuinely tell Jared how much he means to me, or at least begin to scratch the surface. I knew that I wanted to tell him how he’s helped me through a lot of shitty times with his campaign work, his openness about his mental health struggles, and simply being the compassionate person he is. I wanted to tell him that he is my light, my rock, my inspiration. Most importantly, I wanted to make a promise.
In the ‘Notes’ app on my phone, I have a note from January 29, 2017 that says, “i really really want a photo op with jared padalecki of us with our pinkies wrapped around each other’s so i’ll have a reminder for myself that i pinky promised jared padalecki to always keep fighting against my struggles with anxiety and depression.” I went to the San Francisco convention with this heavy in my heart and prominent in my mind, but I knew if I did this my family and friends would ask me to explain. I didn’t want to explain it to them because I knew they weren’t going to understand. I was afraid they’d call it dumb, pointless, a waste of money. I was scared they would tell me it doesn’t mean anything because he’s “just another superficial celebrity and doesn’t care about you.” But instead of listening to the anxious thoughts in my head, I decided to do what my heart most deeply desired.
So as I found myself in the same anxiety-provoking photo op line that I had been through one year before, I tried to prepare exactly how I wanted to voice my thoughts to Jared. The last thing I wanted to do was hold up the line and have everyone get mad at me, so I was trying to figure out how to make it quick and easy.
As the line moved along, I watched him interact with other members of the SPN Family just like me. I noticed (once again) how he seemed to tower over every single person he spoke to. I remember the girls in front of me being super nervous, not in the fangirling sort of way, but in the quiet-because-i-am-speechless-and-might-faint sort of way and an “I’m Alive” member distracting them from their nerves.
It was at this point that I started to tear up as I realized what I was about to do and I mentally kicked myself until I had my emotions under control.
I remember the door to outside was open, causing a strong draft to make its way through the room. I remember standing at the front of the line and feeling the butterflies in my stomach intensify by 100% and next thing I knew I was talking to the one person who gives me hope and makes me feel loved in this world.
He turned to me and flashed his beautiful smile to me just like he did one year prior, and instantly I felt relaxed once again. I felt calm, like this was the most normal thing in the world, and I felt happy. And out of nowhere, a small but sudden burst of confidence flowed through me and I found my voice. As I began talking he held onto both my hands and leaned down close to my face so that he could hear me over the blaring music in the room.
“I was wondering if for the photo op, we could be hugging but with our pinkies wrapped around each other because after all that I’ve been through, I want to promise you right now that I will always keep fighting,” I said.
I watched his facial features as he realized what I said; he pulled away. He bent down, looked at me in the eye and held his hand up for a high five. When our hands came in contact he interlaced his fingers with mine, as he said, “I am so proud of you.”
I smiled the biggest smile I had in months. We got into the pose, Chris took the photo, and Jared just embraced me. He hugged me tighter than I had ever been hugged before (actually, that’s debatable after the sandwich op I had with Jared and Jensen just an hour beforehand). I can’t describe his scent because I couldn’t think coherently enough in the moment to put words to it. I just remember feeling safe and comforted by it.
I said, “Thank you so much for all you’ve done because it’s helped me more than you could ever know.”
He pulled away, grabbed my hands again, and spoke to me while staring intently into my eyes, “It will get better, ok? You will be better. You just have to hang in there and keep fighting.”
“Okay,” I said, too enraptured to form any other words.
“Promise?” he asked.
I smiled, nodded, and held out my pinky again, “I pinky promise,” I said before he wrapped his pinky around mine.
I then made my way out of the room and reflected on everything that had happened, and everything I wanted to say at autographs later that night (that’s another story. a shorter story, but another story).
Now looking back, I think my only regret throughout all my encounters with Jared was that I never mentioned my name. I don’t know why but my heart just really wishes that I did.
All in all, it was the best day of my life, and my picture turned out better than I ever imagined. In that moment, Jared had all of his attention on me and listened to what I said and took it to heart. It was one of the most important moments of my life, and he made me feel like I was important to him. He made me feel loved. He made me feel like there was and there still is hope for my complete recovery. He is my reason to keep fighting. And I could never thank him enough for that.
Summary: When life gets to be too hard and you can’t seem to get out a dark place, who is there to pick you up and hold you?
Prompt: “Hey beautiful, you okay?”
A/N: I’ve been in a bit of a dark place for a little while now and I have felt a little alone and this was the result of it. It’s always nice to know the Winchester’s are there for you when you need them most. Feedback would be greatly appreciated! :)
It was the middle of the night when you had woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. The fifth night in a row and you were growing increasingly tired and frustrated by it. It was slowly becoming your nightly routine. You’d wake up and instead of trying to get back to sleep, you’d slip on your slippers and throw on one of the flannels you stole a while back from one of the boys. Tonight was another one of those nights.
The bunker was completely silent, not even the sounds of snores coming from one of the boys rooms. Tonight, you were feeling like a late night snack. You patted your feet down to the bunker’s kitchen, flicking on the lights. Dean had cleaned it up a couple of days ago while you and Sam went out on a supply run.
Jensen’s youngest sister is going through a tough time with depression and Jensen is determined to help her. This fic features many things that may cause triggers. There will be trigger warnings at the beginning of every part; the two biggest are depression & suicidal thoughts/actions. Graphic made by the amazing @starswirlblitz
I loved this entire series so so soooo much. I related to this character a lot, and I think it was beautifully written. This has got to be one of my favorite fics I’ve read in such a long time; I absolutely loved it.
Before anyone decides to read it, please please pay attention to the warnings and the tags because anyone can potentially be triggered by the topics and issues in the story.
Take a moment to appreciate what this beautiful moose is doing and has done for all of us.
1. ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING.
This gave us hope. Gave us strength. Told that it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling, it’s okay to hit the ground but you must stand again, keep fighting the fight. That we got your back, you’re not alone in this fight. You’ll get through it, stay strong. Don’t use hope. When life knocks you down, never give up. Always keep fighting. Don’t underestimate your own strength. AKF - MADE US STRONG.
2. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
This helped us get comfortable in our own skin. Yes, people don’t think they deserve to be loved, that they are not good enough. They find it hard to feel comfortable in their own skin, their own body. Told that you are beautiful the way you are, love yourself. Go easy on yourself, forgive yourself for the hard times. Mistakes make you who you are. Stop hating yourself for everything that you aren’t and start loving yourself for everything that you are. LYF - MADE US LOVE OURSELVES.
3. I AM ENOUGH.
“I AM ENOUGH! And so are YOU.” Because sometimes you feel like you can’t fight and sometimes you feel like you just can’t love yourself. When that happens, remember that you are enough. You’re enough as you are.
A/N: The “Our Girl” series will be back after the first 6 parts of “Together,” so feel free to continue submitting ideas for it. A/N2: If you want to be tagged in anything, just let me know.
You sat on Jared’s lap with your feet on Jensen’s thigh. You were comfortable enough, but then Jensen started giving you a foot massage and you thought your head was going to explode.
“Feel good?” Jared chuckled, seeing the expression on your face as Jensen rubbed your feet.
“So good,” you nodded.
Jensen smirked, “Good.”
You put your head on Jared’s shoulder, “So, while I’m relaxed, should we talk about this whole thing? The boundaries and all that?”
“If that’s what you want to do,” Jared said.
“Okay,” you thought for a second. You didn’t know where to begin with the conversation, “So, what happens in public?”
“Well, I guess that depends. We have to think about the stigma that comes with this and how it’s pretty taboo,” Jared said, “And I don’t want you to get any kind of backlash because of it.”
You sighed, “That’s like the only bad part. No one will really accept it. I guess we just keep it between us.”
