#incorrect avengers quotes
Y/N: So are we flirting right now?
Steve: I AM LITERALLY PINNING YOU DOWN RIGHT NOW
Y/N: That doesn’t answer my question.
Y/N: No one’s perfect.
Steve:Hmm…
Y/N: …what!? Tell me ONE person who’s perfect.
Steve:You.
Steve: You’re perfect for me.
Y/N: …..shuddup you sap.
Peter: My phone died and I don’t know how to get home.
Ned: I’ll google map the nearest bus stop for you. Oh, wait. It’s quite far. I’ll go with you.
Peter: That’s ok. I’ll just take a picture of the map.
Peter: *takes out his phone*
Peter: *looks at the black screen for 5 seconds*
Peter:Oh.
Harley, bursting into the Avengers meeting room: y/n! Is it true? You… You and Parker…!
Y/n, sitting up from her chair: Oh, no, Harley! It’s not what it looks like!
Peter, visibly confused: It’s not?
Harley: Really? I thought you were-
Y/n: How could I! You’re the only one for me!
Peter: He is…?
Harley, eyeing Perer suspiciously: I don’t know, you guys are spending a lot of time together.
Y/n: We’re just dating. Nothing more than that. I promise. He’s my boyfriend and that’s final.
Peter:Wha-?
Harley: So there’s no sibling vibes at all?
Y/n: You’re my one true brother and you know that! I’m pretty sure Peter is just the love of my life, last time I checked.
Harley: I thought I was the love of your life!
Y/n: Platonic, honey. And you are! I’m never letting you go. You’re stuck with me forever.
Harley: Aww love, that is so sweet.
Peter:
Peter: Remind me this again the next time I’m about to buy a ring.
Ned: Honestly, I don’t think it’s gonna change your mind.
Peter: Yeah, probably.
-
Request by @starlight-starks
Tony: y/n, this is Peter. Now, be nice.
Peter: Hi, I’m-
y/n: Oh my god he’s SO CUTE! Can we keep him, dad? Please? Please? Please?
Tony: What? No, we’re not keeping hi-
y/n: But he’s so cute and FLUFFY! Please?
Tony: y/n Stark, you are NOT keeping a person.
y/n: Ugh. FINE. You’re the worst dad ever. *storms off*
Peter: Uh…What just happened?
Tony: Excuse her.
-
I bet y/n got to keep Peter after all when they got married
Tony: That fucking bitch!
Steve: Who taught you that kind of language?!
Tony: Me, myself and I.
Peter: *turns on a markiplier video*
y/n: *bursting into the room* BOB BINGI?
Peter: *Jumping up from his chair* B O B B I N G I ?
y/n: *pointing a finger at Peter* BOBBINGI?
Tony: WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS A BOB BINGI?
-
In case you’re just as confused as Tony
Kidnapper: We have your son.
Peter: Uh, I’m 16?
Kidnapper: …We have your dad.
Peter: I don’t have a dad.
Kidnapper: *tearing up* Aww, kid, what happened?
Ned: Come on, Peter! If you don’t tell MJ how you feel, she’s going to leave you and then you’re gonna have to play chess by yourself!
Peter: Jokes on you because I already play chess by myself!
Ned:Dude…
Flash: Yo, Penis! I need some help with the Physics homework.
Peter: Why should I help you?
Flash: Because I’m going to stop calling you Penis for a week.
Peter:…Deal.
Flash: If any of your friends ask, I WAS ALL OVER YOU FOR TALKING TO MY GIRLFRIEND!
Peter: And if any of your friends ask, YOUR GIRLFRIEND ACTUALLY TALKED TO ME!
