#incorrect avengers quotes
Sam : Walker hates us
Bucky : Maybe it’s because he is homophobic?
Sam : We are not gay, Bucky
Bucky :
Bucky : We are not???
I cannot fucking believe those scenes are real. This is literally the gayest shit I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
SAMBUCKY SUPERMACY PEOPLE
Therapist : Are you still having nightmares?
Bucky :
Bucky Barnes and his knife skills throughout the series
THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS SIR PLEASE-
Bucky and Sam standing over dying Steve in fatws
Steve : Buck, I want you to know something. I love you. I’ve made a mistake by going back in time and I regret it so much.
Bucky, tearing up : I love you too, Steve.
Sam : Hold on let me tell the group chat Steve is outta closet.
Sam, typing while he watches Steve dying : Out of the closet, into the coffin ⚰️ haha
Bucky, holding two ice cones: hey Steve because everyone is back from the snap I thought we could spend some time together, you know catch up and stuff. Here I bought you an ice-
Bucky:
Bucky: what are you doing?
Steve, preparing to go back to Peggy: sorry I’m busy
Bucky: but I thought-
Steve: Yeah listen it was nice and all but I have to go. Have a nice life, Bucket.
Bucky:
Bucky : wow this parking job is about as straight as I am
Sam : I don’t know whether to address the fact that you just came out to me or that you just insulted my fucking parking
Sam : What’s it like being married to Bucky?
Steve : We both said “I do” and haven’t agreed on anything since.
Russos making Steve straight but also giving him a boyfriend over the years
Bucky : wow I feel so happy right now
Bucky :
Bucky, narrowing his eyes : something’s wrong
Stranger : Hey, is this guy bothering you?
Steve, sighing, looking at Bucky : Yeah, but he’s my husband so I signed up for this
Steve and Bucky : sacrifice themselves for each other, care for each other, willing to die for each other, eyefuck, oppose the fucking government for each other and basically being a 9 year slow burn fanfic
Russo brothers :
I’M FUCKING SCREAMING AT FUCKING 2AM
Bucky : I guess you could say I’ve “fallen” for you.
Bucky :*winks*
Steve : Bucky, you just rolled down eight flights of stairs. Please let me help you.
Steve : Bucky texted me “your adorable” so I texted him back and said “no, YOU’RE adorable.”
Sam :And?
Steve : And now we are dating. We’ve been on six dates. All I did was point out a typo, but I like him so I’m not gonna say anything.
Steve : We don’t trade lives, Vision.
Vision : Captain, 70 years ago you laid down your life to save how many millions of people? Tell me, why is this any different?
Steve :
Steve, nervously looking at Bucky :
Steve, mumbling: It’s different because I was being overly dramatic with no self control whatsoever
Bucky : Yeah that’s what I thought
Bucky : I want to change the world.
Steve : For the better?
Bucky :
Steve :
Bucky :
Steve :
Steve : Answer the question
Steve: Natasha and Sam are drunk and trying to play matchmaker with us again… Should I remind them that we’re married?
Tony: No, it’s more fun this way.
Bucky: Be realistic and relax.
Tony: It’s either be realistic or relax. I can’t multitask today.
Teacher: I called you both in here today because Harley punched another student.
Tony: I wonder where he got that from.
Teacher: When given mediation paperwork about the incident he decided to write an essay about how the other student could, and I quote, “go sit and spin”.
Bucky: I wonder where he got THAT from.
Tony: Do you want to explain this text I got last night?
Bucky: Err, yeah, sorry. That was autocorrect.
Tony:Autocorrect wrote “your so hot step on me”?
Bucky:Yeah, it’s supposed to say “you’re”.
Tony:…
Steve: Tony told me that he got Bucky a box of toys for his birthday… I don’t really understand why he’d get a grown adult toys tho.
Clint: I’m going to tell him.
Sam: Don’t you dare.
Bucky:Knock knock.
Tony:Who’s there?
Bucky:Where when.
Tony:Where when who?
Bucky:My place, tomorrow, you and me.
Clint:Damn, that’s smooth.
Tony: Howard didn’t raise no quitter.
Tony: Well, actually, Howard didn’t raise me at all.
Tony: Which is why I’m quitting.
Tony: [gives some of his coffee to Steve]
[later]
Steve: Buck, I think Tony wants me to propose.
Bucky: And why is that, Punk?
Steve: He gave me some of his coffee.
Bucky: RIGHT LET’S GO BUY THAT RING!
Natasha: [holding mistletoe over Steve and Tony’s heads]
Natasha: Oh look. You’re standing under mistletoe, that means you have to kiss.
Kitty:[meow]
Thor: That’s a great plan. I would have never thought of that.
Bucky: I-I-I’m sorry. C-Can he actually speak cat, or is he just messing with us?
Tony: Knowing him, it may very well be both.
Tony: [extremely drunk, starts colouring Steve’s in with a highlighter]
Steve: Erm… What are you doing?
Tony: Highlighting you.
Steve: Yes, I see that… Why?
Tony: Cuz you’re important.
Bucky: Are you alright?
[Machine gun bullets hit around them, causing both of them to duck]
Tony:Dandy.
Tony: If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.
Steve: Let’s have a coffee break for fifteen.
[15 minutes later]
Steve: I meant fifteen minutes. Tony please don’t drink fifteen coffees.
Tony: [vibrating slightly] You should have said that earlier!
Loki: I’ll kill you.
Tony: At least buy me a drink first.
Bucky:How did you even find all of this shit?
Tony:Ebay.
Steve: Maybe you made a mistake.
Tony: I don’t get facts wrong! It’s everything else I screw up.
Bucky:Any suggestions?
Tony:Well, we could start with a drink.
Bucky:They’re still going to be out there. With guns.
Tony:Well then maybe we make it two.
Tony: Hostage or not, sometimes it’s just nice to be held
Steve: …do you need a hug?
Bucky: Did it hurt?
Tony: [sighs] When I fell from heav-
Bucky: When you fell from the vending machine?
Tony: …
Bucky: ‘Cause you’re a snack.
