#incorrect chain of gold
Cordelia:What’s the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?
Anna:The audacity.
Alastair, to the Merry Thieves: Well, like we agreed, it is officially after midnight, so I can now say whatever I want.
[they all groan, awaiting Alastair’s cutting insults]
Alastair: Today was actually pretty interesting, and I didn’t mind working with you dorks.
Christopher: You know, the word “dork” is actually a Celtic word meaning “lungfish”.
Alastair: Lightwood, I am trying so hard.
Tessa, trying to work the oven: Wh-Why hasn’t it heated up? I-Is it broken? Did we pay the gas bill?
Will: Yes, we paid the gas bill. I remember ‘cause the check number ended in 69 and we high-fived.
Lucie:Why?
Tessa: Never mind.
Cordelia: Well, Alastair and I never actually fought when we were younger.
Alastair: Except sometimes you would get angry when I would throw a baseball bat at you.
Cordelia: You did throw a baseball bat at me but that was pure accident, right?
Alastair: No, that was a game we were playing.
Cordelia: It was Taste My Steel but I feel like it was pure accident.
James: What’s Taste My Steel?
Alastair: It was a game we invented.
Cordelia:Yeah, it was a real collaborative effort. Basically, Alastair had an aluminium baseball bat and he would throw it at me, but I would know it was coming.
Alastair: How would you know?
Cordelia: Because you would shout: “taste my steel!” And throw the bat at me.
Alastair: You dodged it every time, though.
Cordelia: Except the last time that we played it. You hit me right in the eyeball and I got the biggest, nastiest shiner anyone’s ever gotten and then mum was like: “hey, don’t play Taste My Steel anymore.”
Matthew: “those tight pants are killing ur sperm count”
Matthew: lmao okay bitch well ur killing my vibe
Jem, to Will: All my life, I’ve lived for loving you; let me go now.
Alastair, to Charles: No need to seize the last word, Charles. I’ll assume it was something clever.
Thomas, about Alastair: I think he has a good heart.
Anna: A good heart? I’ve noticed you staring at his “good heart.”
Matthew: Hey, we could team up: Bi-curious and The Virgin.
Christopher: That’s the world’s saddest crime-fighting duo.
Anna Lightwood: men will never get the satisfaction of a laugh from me if it’s funny i’ll giggle when i get home
