#incorrect greek myths
Dionysus: hey Apollo what are your pronouns?
Apollo: why. What are saying about me?
Mortal: okay so whats the hottest thing your partner has ever done on a date
Aphrodite, not even looking up from her phone:me
Hermes: okay so! We are on one of Greece’s many ghost walks, its allegedly very haunted and.. we are very…walking on it…
Ares: neat, so suggestion….dad maybe tell all of us where we are headed BEFORE we arrive next time?
Hephaestus: this would be practical
Zeus:AH-HA-HA-HA!
Zeus: suggestion vetoed
Hephaestus:…why?
Zeus: because otherwise I would have to hear you all whinning about how “we dun wanu goooo booohoooo”
“I was born for politics, i have great hair and i love lying!”
-Theseus after he became king.
Aphrodite, wanting hephaestus to say her name: hephy who do you think has the best titts in all olympus ?
Hephaestus, without hesitation: Ariadne of Crete
Aphrodite: no no, i meant which OLYMPIAN has the best titts?
Hephaestus:Oh
Hephaestus, again without hesitation: Dionysus ofcourse!
Aphrodite:….
Hephaestus:i mean his titts are like.. massive!
Athena: We call that a traumatic event.
Athena, turning to Hades: Not a ‘bruh moment’.
Athena, turning to Poseidon: Not a 'major L’.
Athena, turning to Zeus: And not an 'oophm lmao’!
Hephaestus:am i boring? Sure
Hephaestus: Social skills? None
Hephaestus: but im loyal if you feed me and I will never leave you because well…
Zeus: you need the food?
Hephaestus, nodding:I need the food
How the gods know if a mortal can become a legendary hero:
