#incorrect ikemen quotes
In the unlikely event that you die, I’ll make sure to donate your heart to NASA so they’ll finally know what a blackhole looks like up close.
- Comte, to Vlad
Thief, pointing a gun: Your money or your life?!?
Jean, raising both hands in surrender:Take my life now.
Thief: …Man are you okay?
Jean, taking out his wallet: I can give you both if you’re not convinced.
Theo: Hey Arthur, it’s time. Come out.
Arthur: Okay, I think I might be gay for you.
Theo, frowning and blushing at the same time: That’s not what I meant!
Comte: I love you but please stop referring to knives as ‘human opener’.
Vlad: Why not? I’m just stating the facts.
William:There was something that prevented me from having friends when I was a little boy.
Theo: It must have been your personality.
Comte, staring at Vlad’s black cloak: Whose funeral is it?
Vlad: Could be yours but we’re purebloods, so no, I haven’t decided yet.
Arthur: I love you.
Theo:I love you too.
Arthur: Even more than pancakes?
Theo:You need to slow the fuck down.
Masamune: Soup or salad?
Mitsuhide: Yes, one super salad.
Dazai: What if ducks threw breads back at you? :O
Arthur: Then you’ll have to duck
Isaac:…
Dazai: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.
Isaac: Actually Dazai, it’s salt.
Dazai: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.
Isaac: Uh Dazai, that would be salt.
Dazai: Sodium chloride.
Isaac: *takes salt packer from Dazai*
Isaac:This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.
Sebastian: Hey, you wanna hear something dirty?
MC: Sure ;)
Sebastian: The kitchen.
Sebastian: You didn’t wash the dishes last night.
Shakespeare: Have you ever wondered how many houses you’ve passed in your lifetime that have people locked in the basement?
Comte: Well I fucking do now.
Therapist: what brings you here today?
Mozart: he’s too literal with everything.
Therapist: and you?
Jean: The carriage.
Arthur: Truth or dare?
Theo:Truth.
Arthur: Do you want to kiss me?
Theo:Dare.
Arthur: *leans in* I dare you to kiss me.
Theo: Never have I ever—
Charles:Docteur! Docteur!
Charles, smiling gleefully: What do you call a fish with no eye?
Faust: [in the middle of reading]
Faust, not looking up from his book: Myxine Circifrons.
Charles:
Faust:
Charles:…fsh
In case anyone is wondering but is too lazy to google it:
