#incorrect snape quotes

McGonagall: It’s been a really tough day. I just want to get a drink. I don’t feel like getting into it.

Snape: Are you sure? Because the journey I went on today taught me that sometimes it’s best to talk about things -

McGonagall: Severus.

Snape: Right. It was a stupid idea. And Albus told me to do it, so. Let’s just go get a drink and sit in total silence.

McGonagall: Perfect.

Snape: Tell Sirius Black, if he says he’s got beef, that I’m a vegetarian, and I ain’t fucking scared of him.

Snape: I love that babies ball their hands up into fists all the time.

Snape: Draco, you can’t even sit up yet, who are you going to fight? I support it completely, but who are you going after? Who’s trying you?

Madam Pomfrey: Your blood pressure is still too high.

Snape: Ok. What if I cut myself? Just to let some of the blood out.

Snape: If there’s anything you want to talk about, my door is always open. Metaphorically. In reality, I often keept my door closed, for privacy, security, climate control - You know what, I never even should’ve used a metaphor. I’m better than that.

Harry: Snape would be so happy that we’re trying to figure this out. I bet he’s looking up at us and smiling right now.

Ginny: Looking up???

Harry: Oh yeah, he’s in hell for sure.

Umbridge: G-

Snape: Not today, Satan! Not today!

Snape: Alright class, these are the twelve Olympian gods. All fifteen of them. Good luck with that one, nerds.

Dumbledore: Severus, could you please go help Pomona assess the damage to the Whomping Willow?

Snape: No, I’m too damaged to see more damage.