#individual batkid patrol adventures
Criminals react to Batkids
Dick:
Loyal Henchman: Oh no, not this guy.
New Guy: What? Why? It’s not like it’s the Bat.
Loyal Henchman: Yes but the PUNS.
New Guy:
Loyal Henchman: Honestly I think I’d rather go to Blackgate again.
New Guy:
Nightwing: Okay, first of all? Rude.
New Guy:
New Guy:
New Guy: what the hell
*a few minutes/eternity of puns later*
New Guy: Okay yeah I get it now.
Nightwing: *slapping the handcuffs on* See? Puns ARE effective combat measures. Batman never believes me.
Jason:
Red Hood: What the hell, man?
Thug: Sorry, boss.
Red Hood: Not your boss, Jeff.
Thug named Jeff: You say that now, but Dan’s working on a PowerPoint that I think you’ll find very interesting…
Red Hood:
Thug named Jeff:
Red Hood: Just put the nice lady’s purse back.
Thug named Jeff: Right, sorry, boss.
Red Hood: Not your… oh, forget it.
Red Hood: [grumbling] …KNOW I……better than……freaking PowerPoints……nerd bird……corrupting respectable minions…
Thug named Jeff: So this means you’re coming to pizza night, right?
Cass:
Black Bat:*stares*
Criminal:ohmygoshimgoingtodie
Black Bat:
Criminal:*sweating*
Black Bat:
Criminal: *on the verge of a nervous breakdown*
Black Bat:Leave.
Criminal: Yes sir, Miss Batman, ma’am.
Steph:
D-list Villain: [horrified gasp] YOU!
Spoiler: Aw, you remember me.
D-lister: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET GLITTER OUT OF THIS OUTFIT???
Spoiler: You call THAT an outfit? Please.
D-lister: Hey, now just you wait one second. This is a…
Spoiler: *knocks out distracted villain wannabe*
Tim:
Very Evil Minion: I’ll just be on my way then. Have a nice night, Mr. Red Robin, sir.
Red Robin:what
VEM: Oh, we’re not allowed to fight you anymore. Boss’s orders.
Red Robin: Huh. Tell Luthor I said hi, and hey, if you ever want to make a career change, you know, to something legal, you can always try Wayne Enterprises. They have a good ex-criminal work rehab program.
VEM: I think this is why we’re not allowed to fight you anymore…
Damian:
Robin: *unsheathes weapon*
Criminal No. 1: oh hell no
Criminal No. 2: Just once can’t we get a non-feral bat?
Criminal No. 1: ‘Come out East,’ they said.
Criminal No. 2: Did it have to be freakin swords?
Criminal No. 1: ‘Plenty of opportunities,’ they said.
Criminal No. 2: I’m going to get rabies or tetanus or something.
Criminal No. 1: Well SCREW THIS. I’m going back to the guy with arrows.
Criminal No. 2: Where do they even FIND these kids?
Duke:
Signal:‘Sup.
Bank Robbers:
Bank Robbers:
Bank Robbers:
Bank Robber No. 4: I thought you were all vampires.
Bank Robber No. 2: Yeah, it’s like two in the afternoon. How’d you even get here?
Signal: That’s kind of my thing.
Bank Robber No. 5: I hate this place.
Duke is a mood.
