[IMAGE ID: digital art of the batfamily in front of a white background. Dick, Tim, Jason, Bruce, Damian, and Steph are present, with Duke front and center. They are all absolutely covered in paint and colored glitter, the colors all matching their superhero identities, and Duke looks down at himself with a grimace on his paint-streaked face. END ID.]
Jason: How many murders did you refrain from committing today?
Damian: Thirty two.
Jason: Good for you.
Jason: Here, have a cookie.
Damian, expectantly: I also refrained from fourteen severe maimings.
Jason: *hands him a second cookie*
Bruce:
Jason: positive reinforcement
Okay I so very much want criminals thinking Red Hood is not killing then because Batman offered him cookies. And what if they think Red Hood started working with the bats because of cookies in the first place?
I now want this
as some criminal trying to explain how red hood ended up working with the bats
And then I want my beloved thug named Jeff to, as Dan is putting together the PowerPoint, go recruiting and find a baker to bring into the fold because they need all the enticements they can get their hands on if they’re going to get their boss back
Or just one of Red Hood’s goons to straight up go to culinary school or whatever because apparently boss likes cookies enough to work with Batman so surely if they can do better…
Bruce appeases Murder Child for the first time
Murder Child devours appeasing offerings on the streets of Gotham
Batman gives Murder Child a GINGERSNAP COOKIE???
Criminal reaction - the Murder Child has rejected the appeasing offering!
Our main thug Jeff luring the Red Hood into their old headquarters just for Hood to walk into the main meeting area that had a table absolutely loaded with different baked goods.
Jeff: listen boss—I can still call you boss right?— anyways boss, so a bunch of us got together and put our man Bill—(say hi to Hood Bill!)—through patisserie school. It’s always been a dream of his. But anyways, this way you don’t have to go to the bat for cookies. Bill here learned to make 34 different types! Along with a boatload of other stuff. That way you can come back. Batman has nothing to hold over you now.
Jason, touched (he’s not crying you’re crying): yeah man
Later:
Jason: Sorry B, they made too good of an argument.
As Jason turns and walks out you can see Damian clinging to the back of his jacket like a baby koala (he heard about the baked offerings).
Thug named Jeff my beloved
Yes this is perfect
After much stressing and brooding. Batman obviously adopts Red Hood’s thugs. Just like. Straight up shows up one day with Alfred cookies (objectively better) for everyone and casually mentions how proud he is of them for looking out for Hood but really he’s trying to get Hood to not murder people.
This is amazing & I love it.
Even the thugs are being lured now. People are starting to suspect supernatural means via cookies. Meanwhile (now former thug) Bill is enthusiasticly learning baking tips from Alfred. The red hood now owns a bakery run by his former goons. He’s still their boss and they handle deliveries like drug runs. Somehow this works.
was messing with some fake tweet makers and the idea that dick just uses twitter to compliment and flirt with himself hit me and i couldn’t stop til i made it.
The Dead Robin Club 2016: Stephanie Brown, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne
Artist: JBadgr
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I drew this one last year, so why not do one for 2016? Grumpy teen!angst Dami is still grumpy as fuq. Hope you all enjoy! <33 Jess
Eh- eh– and none of this ‘technically derp derp didn’t die cuz canonical backtrack bullshit. They’re the dead robins club.Founding members. Membership card. Discount at local paper supply stores. 10% off gas. Member members.
