- sometimes Tim won’t leave Bruce alone. Like he’ll just barge into wherever he is. Interrupt whatever he’s doing. Bruce loves spending quality time with his son. But said quality times needs to be a scheduled appointment. I do that to my mom so I’m sure one of them does that to Bruce.
- Dick and Jay wrestling and Bruce hitting them with a newspaper
- y’all know the circle game from like fucking 2003. I feel like that would go horribly wrong in the Wayne household
- Bruce recognizes that if Jason is EVER giggling, he needs to leave the premise immediately for his own safety.
- The looks that Steph and Barbra give eachother when they have to witness the boys do literally anything
- Bruce snores like a dad when he sleeps in his arm chair
- Duke has been kidnapped by his brothers. Like they thought it would be funny to kidnap him. They all got their asses kicked and Duke went crying to Alfred. Alfred was not pleased.
- Jason finds the ugliest ties and he always gives the to Bruce. Bruce treasures them
- whenever one of the kids calls Bruce “dad” he literally can not say no. That’s how Jason got his credit card information and Damian got the keys to the Porsche
- once a year Jason gets an angry phone call from Bruce demanding he return the Batmobile tires.
- Cass absolutely knows how to cry on command. And she uses it to her advantage. (Extra ice cream)
- Jason, Tim and Duke are banned from every 7/11 in the country
I want a Batman story where he starts off as a cheerful and a bit socially daft guy. Where Bruce Wayne is a complete goof and hopelessly romantic fool. He tries to court Talia or Selina with the extravagance and thoughtfulness of a man with the means and mind to try to give his love the most fantastically romantic time ever. He’d be so proud and happy for Dick and his team of superheroes, and all he can imagine is the good they’ll do when they become the next Justice league. Even the criminals in Gotham aren’t too violent, just people looking out for their own.
Then Jason comes into his life, He loves this child so much. The kid adores Alfred and follows him around like a duckling and is quietly delighted with all the toys, books, schooling, ect. that Bruce can provide. He’s smart, studious, sassy, curious, and adorably enthralled with magic (magic!Jason) practically a prodigy but still playing little pranks here and there. He can imagine Jason fitting in very well with Justice league dark if he wants to follow his big brother’s footsteps. Though that plan doesn’t quite play out as he’d hoped.
(I’m just so done with Jason only ever being destined for death and nothing more, and the death of a child being treated like no biggie or a goddamn joke. That shit should be goddamn traumatic and serious.)
However Jason is mercilessly murdered by the Joker, then Barbara is paralyzed, Talia doesn’t want anything to do with him, and Harvey well…Harvey went insane chasing shadows before killing himself. Bruce then starts to spiral into his dark and broody, emotionless, cold and calculating Batman. Turning paranoid and controlling, because if he could have planned for everything then he would have prevented the worst from happening to the people he cared about.
I want Batman’s closed off and harsh personality be a result of his life getting to a point of falling apart instead of the insanity of “dead parents” because frankly I’m sick of those damn pearls. I get it as a motivation to start being a hero but the rest of why he’s a dick to his allies and so damn standoffish about being in control all the time shouldn’t be tied to that. I think it should be a process of him losing his hopefulness to the thoughtless acts of cruelty later down the line.
Give me a batman that starts with everything to lose, a hopeful man who believes that people can change for the better if they were given a proper chance. That goodness is inherent because superman who has all the power to do anything still decides to do good. A batman who thought people were only evil because of desperation, or needed/wanted something but is proven so wrong that it slowly breaks him, into the batman we’re familiar with.
(the kind of batman that lashes out at Dick, ignores or doesn’t care for Tim and Steph, beats & banishes Jason from Gotham, and makes contingencies & plans to be able to take out his JLA friends)
Maybe even have the parents be secretly not the best people. I’ve been thinking about Martha Wayne being a high ranking member of the court of owls, and his father sharing a hand with Hugo strange to make Arkham asylum a hell on earth.
Lemme know what you guys think because frankly I kinda hate how toxic Batfam is and I really don’t care for trying to pretend it’s a good time to be with the kind of batman we have. Straightup fanon gooddad!Bruce is so far away from what Batman is, I can’t imagine them being the same person at all. At least with this kind of timeline I feel like it could possibly work.
I’ve been getting a lot of Jason commissions lately, this one is of J.T. and D.W. drinking HoCho with marshmallows. I imagined Dean and Sam kinda at the counter in a diner. And can never forget desert ;) #CCEE2016
Random HC: One similarity between Bruce and Jason is their ability to remain perfectly still while small children climb up them as if they are the kids’ personal playgrounds. As well as the frequency with which that happens.
duke: well idon’t know what’s going on, but i’ll do it by myself if u two don’t shut up
steph: they’ve been pussyfooting around abt who’s going to put glitter on first
duke, dick, and jason all at once: such vulgarity
bruce, suddenly, startling everyone: my advice is just wear the glitter,, just wear it. u look great, u feel great, people love it,, just put on a bunch of glitter and go out there and get it
steph, in Rant Mode: do u have those successful friends that always say shit like, ‘My hair is messier than my life’? Like, we all know damn well both ur hair and life r perfect, quit lying,,,, i think it’s time for people to stop appropriating Messy Bitch culture and leave the self-deprecating humor to those of us that are actually A Mess
steph: and in case anyone was wondering, yes, i’m talking abt dick again
bruce eats cinnamon poptarts and keeps trying to convince his children that they’re really good,,,, cass is the only one on his side (and thats only cuz he buys her strawberry poptarts without telling her how gross he thinks they r)
i want to read the DC universe comics but i don’t know where to start? Like there are so many multiverse comics and different series so i just want to know what step 1 is, you know?
Bruce, reading from a paper: Due to elevating cursing from the other heroes that we believe is coming from batfamily, we now are changing the way things are phrased.
Bruce, to Jason: “Ask me if I give a fuck” will be now “Of course I’m concerned.”
Jason:
Bruce, to Tim: “Who gives a shit?” is now “I wasn’t involved in that.”
Tim:*nods*
Bruce, to Stephanie: “Kiss my ass” is now “I don’t think you understand.”
Stephanie:Okay.
Bruce, to Dick: “Suck my dick” is now “Have a nice day.”
Dick:
Bruce, to Damian: And finally “Who the hell died and made you boss?” is now “You want me to take care of this?”
Damian: Yes, Father.
Duke: Bruce, you want me to write a reply email from you about this?
Bruce: Yes, please reply: “To the Justice League, of course I’m concerned. You want me to take care of this? While I wasn’t involved in that, I feel you should reverse these changes as I don’t think you understand. Have a nice day.”
